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Roxas could leave anytime.
He actually has left once or twice -- the second day that he woke up on the pervert's couch, he got up and left without saying goodbye. Stayed away for about three days, until he got sick of seeing his breath and started to feel kind of woozy, and then he showed up on Axel's doorstep and shivered until the pervert came home to unlock the door and make him some soup out of a can.
A couple weeks after that, he left again, just to make sure Axel wasn't getting the wrong idea. But that was mostly just making a point. It was right after midwinter, and where the hell was he going to go? Drafty warehouses just don't have the same charm after having a warm bed -- okay, a warm couch, but whatever -- to sleep on, and scrounging in dumpsters is way less promising than scrounging in Axel's kitchen.
And sometimes they do...stuff...but it's mostly the same stuff it was that first morning, where Axel sucks him off and Roxas doesn't really have to do anything back. Or they'll just curl up under the same blanket while they watch a movie or play games on the console Axel brought home a few weeks ago. And that's kind of nice. Being warm enough, all the time, is still pretty exciting.
It's not like Roxas is getting domesticated, or anything. He could totally leave if he wanted to. He just doesn't want to. Not in the winter.
This is one of those nights when Axel's gone out somewhere. He still doesn't talk about where he goes, just heads out some nights and comes back late, cold and smelling like stale cigarettes. When Roxas asks, he always has some kind of smartass answer about where he's been and why he can't talk about it.
The apartment is chilly, nowhere near as bad as the warehouse but just...empty, on late nights when Roxas is here by himself. He's stuck in the game he's been playing lately, and there aren't any movies left in the house that he wants to watch -- he's seen everything but the pornos, and a lot of Axel's pornos are kind of...creepy. There's still something weird about watching strangers have sex.
There's something weird about being alone in Axel's apartment, too, even if it's not a gross kind of weird like some of those boy-on-boy-on-girl videos. Roxas gets up off the couch and shuts off the TV, wandering into the bedroom, his blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. There's more weird stuff in here, things in a box under the bed that he doesn't even want to know the names of, much less what they're for. He found them the first time he got left alone in the apartment, and for about a week he kept expecting Axel to try to bring them up, but the pervert is a lot more laid-back, or at least more patient, than he thought at first.
And every once in a while, maybe just for a minute, Roxas misses him a little when the apartment is empty.
He shrugs off the blanket and crawls into Axel's bed, burrowing under the covers. The pillow smells like Axel, if he buries his face in it and breathes deep. And it's not like he really likes the pervert, or anything, but he gets lonely sometimes. And it's kind of comfortable, being held. He closes his eyes, pulling the blankets tighter around his shoulders, waiting for Axel to come home.
The next thing he really remembers is the mattress dipping, the blankets being tugged free behind him. He rolls over as soon as he wakes up enough to realize what that means, and his hands find bare skin when he brings them up to put some distance between him and Axel.
"This is a pleasant surprise," the pervert says, getting an arm around him when Roxas doesn't really push him away.
"Don't get any ideas," Roxas mutters, even though he thinks it's probably a lost cause. Just waking up in the morning seems to be enough to give Axel ideas.
Sure enough, Axel totally ignores him, curling up to his side and nuzzling at his shoulder. "Come on, you know I wouldn't hurt you. It's just so fucking cold outside, and here you are, all nice and warm," and he kisses the hollow of Roxas's throat, humming softly, "what do you expect?"
"Pervert," Roxas says, but he's mostly doing it to hear the happy little purr Axel makes. He turns his head, meets Axel's mouth for a kiss, licking the taste of whiskey from Axel's lips. He's sort of gotten used to this part, at least, and he likes it, the warm wet brush of Axel's tongue and the solid comfort of Axel's body against his. Even when Axel reaches down and palms the front of Roxas's shorts, stroking him hard, it's not all that weird anymore. They've done this plenty of times, even if they've never done it in Axel's bed before now.
So when Axel pushes him onto his back, Roxas doesn't really fight it -- this is the part where Axel slides down between his legs and sucks his cock, because for some reason the pervert seems to like doing it. And even when Axel rolls mostly on top of him, he doesn't panic -- it's different, doing this lying down instead of sitting on the couch, that's all --
And then Axel's teeth graze his earlobe gently, and Axel says, "You want to try something different this time?" His fingers are underneath Roxas's shirt, pushing the fabric up slowly.
"Maybe," Roxas says, tensing up. He's suddenly a lot more aware of how much bigger, how much stronger Axel is.
Axel rocks against him, slow and hard. "You want to fuck?"
Roxas bucks, tries to throw Axel off, panic making his palms slick and his mouth dry. "You fucking pervert," he hisses. Struggling doesn't seem to get him anywhere, Axel's arms locked tight around him. "You think I'd -- I'm not going to let you --"
"Come on, why not?" Axel purrs, licking his throat, his cock if possible harder now than it was before Roxas started fighting. "I promise I'll make it good for you, baby."
"Fuck you," Roxas snarls, "fuck you --"
And Axel laughs, sitting up enough to look down and meet his eyes. "That was the idea, wasn't it?"
Roxas holds very still. "What?" he says at last.
"You want to fuck?" Axel says again, grinning. "You want me to spread my legs for you, let you shove your cock up my ass?"
There ought to be more words for this kind of fucked-up, but somehow Roxas can't think of the others. "You are such a pervert," he says. "You -- you would actually want me to?"
The grin slides off Axel's face, and he nods. "Yeah," he breathes. "It'd be pretty hot, don't you think?"
"You're serious," Roxas says, his heart pounding in his ears. He realizes that he's trying to imagine what it would feel like, and his face gets hot.
Axel kisses him, slow and gentle, and Roxas thinks the pervert might be trying to reassure him. "Totally serious," Axel says, and rolls off, skinning out of his shorts and tugging at Roxas's shirt again. "Yeah?"
In another minute they're going to be naked together. He's going to be naked in front of Axel. Naked with Axel touching him. Roxas swallows hard, squirming as Axel drags his shorts down.
"Come here," Axel says, wrapping his arms around Roxas again, pulling him close. It feels completely different, being this close when they're naked, feeling all that warm skin against his own. Axel licks at his collarbone, purring, rocking slowly.
"Oh," Roxas says, "oh." He nuzzles at Axel's throat, nipping gently, and when Axel rolls onto his back, Roxas moves with him, their legs tangling together. There's just room enough for him to plant his knees on the mattress, between Axel's legs, and he hesitates there -- he really doesn't want to have to say so out loud, but he's not sure he knows what he's doing. Axel's porn always seems to kind of start in the middle of things.
"Here, hang on a second," Axel says, twisting, reaching for something on the bedside table -- a little plastic pump bottle, almost lost in the clutter. He squeezes some stuff out onto his hand, something clear and wet, gooey-looking.
"What," Roxas asks, but it would sound just too lame to ask what Axel is doing, so instead he tries for, "what should I...?"
Axel grins. "They tend to skip this part in the pornos, huh?" He reaches down between them, his hand sliding between his legs, and Roxas looks away really fast when he realizes he's sort of almost staring at Axel's cock.
"Just because I don't do this all the time," Roxas says, and then he can't decide whether he's grateful or annoyed at Axel for not pointing out that what he means is haven't done this ever.
"You have to, ah, slick up first," Axel says. He's rocking his hips in time with the flex of muscle in his forearm, and Roxas is pretty sure he knows exactly what the pervert is doing, and oh god, they're doing this. "And, nn, stretch out, if you want it to be comfortable."
Roxas shifts his weight to one side, runs his fingertips very carefully down Axel's arm. "What are you telling me for? I'm not about to let some pervert stick anything in me." He gets as far as the bones of Axel's wrist, and stops, not sure he wants to go any further -- not sure he wants to touch Axel there -- but he's going to be putting his cock in there soon, isn't he? Isn't that the point of all this?
Axel turns his head, nips at Roxas's shoulder. "Just thought you should know, mm, in case you ever wind up in bed with someone you want to treat right." The tendons in the back of his hand flex steadily as Roxas slides his fingers further down.
"You think too much about me having sex," Roxas says. His mouth feels dry, his hands just a little shaky, as his fingers find Axel's. They're slippery, wet, sliding into -- into Axel, like he's fucking himself with them. "Oh god."
"Go on," Axel says. "I can take it. Just go slow."
"Oh god," Roxas says again, because he can't seem to help himself. He lines up his first two fingers with Axel's, and pushes, and Axel makes a low, hungry sound as his body yields to Roxas's fingers. "Oh god, Axel, oh. You're. Oh god." Right at the -- at the entrance, it's really tight, but then further in it opens up, smooth and soft and hot.
"Yeah," Axel says. "That's right." He moves his hips, and both of their fingers slide in deeper. "You want to get your cock in there, don't you?" He doesn't even wait for Roxas to nod, just goes on, "It's going to feel good, baby, going to feel real good. Come on." When he pulls back, Roxas pulls out with him, shaking and trying to hide it.
Roxas lets Axel guide him back into position, kneeling between Axel's legs, and he still doesn't have the first damn clue how to make this work -- Axel's porn almost never features this position, especially not when it's two guys. "How do I," Roxas says, "I mean, is it really going to work like this?"
Axel nods. "Here, like this." He raises his knees and gets a hand on Roxas's hip, pulling him closer. Roxas can't help looking down, even though he still isn't sure he wants to see this, isn't sure if he wants to be looking at Axel's cock and -- and everything. Axel's hands guide him, but he still slides the first time instead of actually pushing in, and he laughs a little, helplessly, nervously.
"Axel," he says, and his voice is shaking, "I'm -- I'm not going to --" because he's already so close he can barely stand it.
"It's going to be fine," Axel says, one hand still on Roxas and the other curling around his own cock. "Come on, right there, now push," and he sounds like he needs it almost as bad as Roxas does -- so Roxas pushes, and this time it works, this time he pushes past that tightness and he's inside Axel and it's so slick and hot that he can't bear to move.
"Oh god," he whispers, "oh god oh god," and he hates the way his voice sounds, high and desperate, but he can't seem to control it, either -- "oh god, Axel, it feels like -- you're so --"
"Yeah," Axel breathes, "I bet it does, sweetheart. Nice and tight, yeah?" He's stroking himself fast and hard already, his knuckles brushing Roxas's lower belly. "Now come on and fuck me," and he rocks his hips, pushing himself further onto Roxas.
It's like flipping a switch, and all at once Roxas can't bear to not move -- his hands feel slippery, grabbing at Axel's hips for some kind of leverage as he pushes in, again, again, the soft heat even better than Axel's mouth and then it's too late to stop, to slow down, and he's making a high needy sound in his throat as the tension spills over and he shudders to a breathless halt.
He starts to sit back, his face hot, and Axel says, "No, don't -- don't pull out, fuck." He clutches at Roxas's waist with his free hand, his strokes rough and hurried, his breathing ragged. "I want to, ah, come while you still have it in me, just -- just don't move, ah," and Roxas can't help looking down -- he's never really watched the pervert get off before, never really looked for this part, but now that he's doing it he can't seem to look away -- he can see the muscles drawing tight in Axel's stomach, the trembling in Axel's thighs, and then he can feel it when Axel comes, clenching tight around him.
"Oh," Roxas says, "oh." And then, "Wow," and then he's sort of annoyed with Axel for making him feel like he doesn't have a clue about anything, but he's still shaking so he doesn't pull away just yet, and then Axel looks up at him, bliss-green eyes all unfocused and soft, and Roxas feels less like a tool and more like...more like he did something right after all.
"Have a good time?" Axel says, and his grin is probably supposed to look cocky, but he's too out of it, and it just looks kind of woozy instead. Roxas laughs, and Axel looks surprised. "What?"
Roxas shakes his head, grinning. "Nothing. The look on your face. You just." He sits back on his heels, and Axel hisses as Roxas slips free. "You're totally failing at being a badass right now."
Axel tries hard to give him an annoyed look, but it dissolves into laughter after a minute, and then Roxas is giggling, too. "Come here," Axel says, reaching out, and Roxas only hesitates for a second or two before he does, stretching out beside Axel and resting his head on Axel's shoulder. He can hear Axel's heartbeat.
"I, um," he says after a minute. "Sorry about, you know. Not lasting longer."
"Mm." Axel nuzzles at his hair. "Next time we'll just have to make sure you get off once before we fuck, so you're in less of a hurry."
"Next time?" Roxas says. He kisses Axel's collarbone. "Pervert."