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The air feels hot and close, almost oppressive. Axel is sheened in sweat, breathing hard, listening to the stuttering trip of his own heart. He can still taste come on his tongue. "Thanks," he says, because it never hurts to be a little extra appreciative, where Roxas is concerned.
"Yeah," Roxas says, his voice low and a little shaky. He lets go of Axel's cock and pulls back, sort of, like he's going shy now.
"I mean it," Axel says, just in case. He rolls over -- which means he's going to get come on the sheets, but fuck it, he's been meaning to change the sheets anyway -- and nuzzles at the hollow of Roxas's throat.
Roxas squirms. "Tickles," he complains. "You and your stupid hair."
"Me?" Axel says. He bites Roxas's shoulder, and Roxas elbows him in the ribs. "What about your stupid hair?"
Roxas makes an outraged noise. "What's wrong with my hair?" He squirms, trying to bite Axel back, and they tumble, rolling over and tangling themselves up in the sheets.
"Nothing," Axel says at last, grinning, when Roxas has him pinned to the bed and is glaring down at him, cheeks flushed, eyes bright. "Nothing at all."
"That's what I thought," Roxas says, letting go. He collapses to the mattress, and actually reaches out after a second to rest a hand on Axel's chest. Axel slides an arm around him, cautiously, and just lies there, savoring this while it lasts. It's still not too often that Roxas will actually initiate something like this -- like on some level he's still afraid of looking weak, afraid that Axel's going to pounce on him.
To be fair, Axel does pounce on him whenever the opportunity presents itself. But not like he seems to expect.
"Axel," Roxas says hesitantly, after they've lain there for a few minutes. He takes a breath, and then lets it out, and then takes another one. "Was that -- that was really what you wanted?"
"Mmn?" Axel says. He thinks he might know where this is going, but he's going to wait and let Roxas actually say it. Might be good for the kid.
"I said." Roxas pauses again. "I said you could -- I said I'd do whatever you wanted, and." Usually, 'and' is an indication of further conversation, but Roxas doesn't seem willing to come up with any more words.
"And you expected me to ask for more than a handjob," Axel finishes eventually.
"Well," Roxas says. He's quiet, almost embarrassed-sounding. "Yeah."
Okay. So he's going to have to push a little. "You wanted me to ask for more."
Roxas goes tense, and Axel tightens his arm around him to keep him from pulling away. "...Maybe," Roxas mumbles.
Axel lets that just hang in the air between them for a minute. Lets it sink in. When it feels like Roxas is finally about to start actually fighting to get away, he goes on, "Didn't really seem like a good idea. Know what I mean?"
"No," Roxas says. He sounds more like he's being stubborn than like he really doesn't get it. But hey, two can play at the now-say-what-you-mean game, Axel figures.
"After as touchy as you've been, the whole time you've been here?" Axel shrugs the shoulder that Roxas isn't lying on. "I could either ask for something you might freak out about, and risk getting nothing, or I could," don't say go easy on you, for the love of god, "ask for something you were likely to be okay with." He gives it a second. "If you had something else in mind, by all means, let me know."
"Hnn." Roxas buries his head in the hollow of Axel's shoulder, and after a minute he mumbles something completely unintelligible.
Axel works his fingers into the soft hairs at the base of Roxas's neck. "Say that again? I didn't hear you."
Roxas shivers, and takes a tight grip on Axel's wrist. He takes a few quick, shallow breaths before he can repeat himself: "What's it -- what's it like? When we. You know."
"When you fuck me?" Axel says. Roxas goes completely scared-rabbit still for a second, and then nods once. Axel's mouth is suddenly really dry, and he has to swallow hard a few times. "Getting curious?"
There's total silence for a minute, like Roxas can't make himself answer. He shifts awkwardly against Axel's side -- but he's still not really running away. For once.
Axel works on massaging the nape of Roxas's neck for a little longer, while he tries to remind himself to be cool about it and not sound too eager when he says, "I could show you. If you want."
"If you -- if it hurts," Roxas says. There's a long pause, which Axel imagines is Roxas sorting through and discarding a variety of threats.
"I won't hurt you," Axel says, when he's pretty sure Roxas must be stuck trying to come up with something really horrible. "I'm not that kind of pervert." Most of the time, anyway.
Roxas laughs for just a second, this short stilted sound that makes it really, painfully obvious how nervous he is. "You better not be."
That totally sounds like permission, or close enough. Axel reaches for the lube with the hand that isn't already occupied keeping Roxas from going anywhere. "You never know," he says, because somehow around Roxas he's never quite as good at keeping his mouth shut as he ought to be. "You might like it."
"You better hope I do," Roxas says, his voice tight and breathy as he tries to smile, as if he can pretend he's calm.
"Yeah," Axel says. "I better." Roxas better hope he likes it, because just the idea that he could get to do this, that he could get to fuck Roxas at last, has Axel getting hard again already. When he's actually got the kid opening up around his fingers, stretching out and making little hungry sounds...hell if he's going to want to stop then.
It's kind of a shame that Roxas is too twitchy and nervous to appreciate how skilled he is, because Axel personally thinks that getting the bottle of lube flipped open and managing to squeeze some out onto his fingers one-handed is an accomplishment worth noticing. Whatever. He can always show off more later, right? Roxas will let him do this more than once. If he's good at it.
He tugs Roxas up, sort of half on top of him, so he can reach down and get his fingers between the cheeks of Roxas's ass. "Cold," Roxas complains, squirming a little.
"Give it a second," Axel says. It's a damn good thing he already got that handjob, because that's the only way he's going to be able to be patient enough for this. "You'll warm it right up, promise." He moves his fingertips in tiny little circles, just teasing right now, and Roxas's hands come up to curl around his shoulders and hang on.
"What are you waiting for," Roxas says, like he really wants it to sound like he's ready for this.
Axel barely pushes, and then backs off again. "Waiting for you to relax," he says. "Nobody ever had a good time getting fucked up the ass when he was tense for it."
Roxas bites his collarbone. "Stop trying to scare me," he mumbles. "It's not going to work." But he takes a deep breath and then makes a obvious effort to relax, which means he goes sort of limp on top of Axel and feels about ten times heavier than he did a minute ago. But it also means that the next time Axel pushes, it goes a lot easier, and Roxas makes a helpless little sound as Axel gets that first slick finger up his ass.
There's a moment of utter stillness while Axel just lies there and feels the incredible soft heat of it and bites his tongue so he won't ask Roxas to make the noise again. Don't make the kid feel like a victim, he reminds himself. Not if you want him to keep hanging around.
"It feels really weird," Roxas whispers, his fingers digging into Axel's shoulders, holding on tight. "You like this?"
"Yeah," Axel breathes, pushing a little deeper, feeling the way Roxas shivers and tries to give in to him. "Yeah, I like it a lot."
Roxas bites him again, though it's a lot less fierce this time. "Not this, you pervert." His voice shakes. "Of course you like this. I mean -- you like it when I. When it's the other way?"
Axel hums, nuzzling at Roxas's throat and rocking his hand slowly. "Yeah," he says. "That, too. It's weird, but it's a good kind of weird, or it can be." He grins. "You just have to be kind of a pervert."
That makes Roxas laugh a little in surprise, and he squirms on top of Axel, sweat-sticky skin peeling apart as he moves. "Okay," he says. "Okay. I can, ah. I can do this."
"Yeah," Axel says, "you can, you so totally can." His wrist aches, already, but it's going to be worth it. Roxas has made up his mind, it looks like, and they're going to actually go through with this. "Can't really get you at a good angle like this, but you don't want me pinning you, do you?"
"I'll pass," Roxas says, but he doesn't sound upset, so this is a hell of a lot like progress. His hands are clenching and releasing, kneading Axel's shoulders. "Good, ah, for you, or f-for me?"
"Both," Axel says. He pulls back most of the way. "Deep breath." He waits, long enough for Roxas to do what he's told, and then he's pushing a second finger in along with the first and Roxas is making another one of those helpless noises that makes Axel's cock ache -- and this time he doesn't manage to stop himself from moaning back.
Roxas shudders. "You l-like it?" he asks breathlessly. His back arches, like he's trying to find a way to get comfortable with Axel's fingers up his ass.
Axel nods, pushing, stroking, his other hand splayed across Roxas's back to steady him. "Fuck, fuck yes, Roxas," he whispers, "you're so tight, you --" He has to stop himself, can't keep talking, doesn't trust himself to say anything that isn't come on, give it to me, now.
"Yeah, well." Roxas's voice is low, shaky. "It's not like I've ever done this before. Of course it's tight."
"Oh god," Axel says, and he shifts slightly, leans in for a kiss, because hell if there's anything else safe he can do with his mouth right now. Roxas kisses sloppily, distracted, awkward, and honestly Axel's pretty sure he's not doing much better. But Roxas is opening up for him, rocking just a little into his hand, and he thinks he can be forgiven for being distracted from, well, everything else.
"I think," Roxas says, "I think I, oh," because Axel, despite the bad angle, has finally managed to get his fingers deep enough and push just right for a second, and the way Roxas shivers is totally worth the way Axel's wrist twinges awkwardly.
"Yeah?" Axel says. His voice is a little shaky, too, he realizes. "You think so?"
Roxas laughs a little, holding on to Axel a little tighter. "Yeah," he says, "if you're not going to be a dick about it."
Axel nods. "Okay," he says, because right now he would agree to just about anything Roxas wanted, if it'd mean they could actually -- "Okay, yeah, that's totally fair. Here." He pulls out as carefully as he can, takes hold of Roxas's thigh with his other hand and guides the kid up, into his lap.
"What, like this?" Roxas says, his hands on Axel's shoulders to steady himself. His eyes are wide, bright blue around huge black pupils, and his thighs tremble from holding himself up.
"Just like this," Axel says. He slicks his cock, because nobody ever died of too much lube, especially the first time, and steadies himself with one hand while he curls the other around Roxas's hip. "Just push back. Nice and slow. Deep breaths, and stop if it feels too weird." Don't stop, he thinks. Please god, don't stop.
Roxas nods, eyes still locked with his, and lowers himself down just enough that the head of Axel's cock is right there, nudging at him, almost pushing in. "Oh god," he says, and it's a plea, "Axel...."
"It's okay," Axel says, his voice hoarse, and then Roxas pushes down slowly and all Axel can say is "Roxas, Roxas, Roxas," and it's so tight and hot he thinks he's going to die.
Roxas gets about halfway down and then stops, breathing hard, trembling, his hands white-knuckle tight around Axel's arms. "Oh god, Axel, you're. You're." He closes his eyes, and barely breathes the words. "You're fucking me."
What he's doing, actually, is trying really hard not to come right this second. "Yeah," Axel agrees, and Roxas could probably hear the fucking reverence in his voice if he tried, "and it's good, Roxas, so good." And he's doomed so bad there aren't words for it, especially when Roxas takes another deep breath and pushes down the rest of the way, and his mouth falls open on a slow, soft whimper.
"Ah, it's -- it feels so big," Roxas says, and then blushes, his eyes snapping open to glare as best he can. But Axel wouldn't dream of teasing him now, wouldn't dare screw this up when he's waited for it so long.
"Here," Axel offers, curling a hand around Roxas's cock -- mostly hard, still, despite how freaked out he is. "This help?"
Roxas licks his lips. "You want me to, to come like this," he says, like he's a little shocked at the idea. He rocks in Axel's lap, tiny hesitant motions, his eyelids fluttering when he's pushed all the way down.
"Yeah," Axel breathes. "Want it to feel good, right?" He's got a lot of practice at taking care of Roxas's cock by now, knows just how fast to stroke and where to put pressure, and Roxas hardens for him, fast. "Oh god, Roxas, I want to make you feel good."
"It's good," Roxas reassures him, sounding like he can barely believe it himself. "It's -- right there, it's. Axel. Oh."
Axel nods, and tries thrusting just a little, shuddering with pleasure when it makes Roxas moan. "Right there, yeah, just like -- you make me feel like that, when you fuck me. Oh, Roxas, god." It doesn't matter that they've already gone once. He's still not going to need long, with Roxas starting to really move now, with the flex Roxas's thighs and the tight slick heat inside him and --
And the look on his face, lost and needy and wanting, the quiet shock in his voice when he says, "Yes -- yes, Axel -- it's, I want, it feels so," and then he can't even speak, just rocking in Axel's lap, whimpering, squeezing his eyes shut like he's reaching for it --
"Oh, please, Roxas," Axel says, "please, please," and he can feel how close he's getting, how little it's going to take to push him over, and he's trying to hold on -- just a little more, just a minute longer, and he's whispering, "Roxas, Roxas," and then Roxas is tightening around him and Roxas's come is splattering his chest and Axel loses it right then and there and everything is heat and light and it's perfect.
He's so utterly broken, he thinks when he manages to open his eyes afterward. The first thing he sees is Roxas staring down at him, stunned and flushed and gorgeous, and something just...locks up, in Axel's chest, and he can barely breathe.
"So?" Roxas says. He sounds scared, almost, and there's something wary in his eyes. "You get what you wanted, finally?"
Axel blinks. He rests his hands on Roxas's thighs, stroking carefully. "I -- I've been getting what I wanted," he says at last. He waits, but Roxas doesn't really relax. "What, you thought all this time I was just keeping you around until I could get this?"
Roxas glares at him nervously, and doesn't answer.
"Come on," Axel says. "I'm not that hard up." That at least makes Roxas respond, makes him start angrily and take a breath to argue -- so Axel goes on before he can: "I like you, Roxas. I -- this wasn't supposed to happen, none of it was supposed to happen, I didn't plan on inviting you home and I sure as hell didn't plan on you staying and like hell I know what I'm doing here but I like you. I really like you. And I want you to stay."
"Oh," Roxas says, and blinks. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something else, and then doesn't. He puts his hands on Axel's shoulders again and rocks forward, wincing a little as he lifts himself up off Axel's cock, and Axel wraps both hands around his waist to steady him as he lowers himself in a sort of controlled fall to the bed.
Axel reaches out and pulls Roxas close, both arms wrapped around him loosely. Roxas arranges his limbs carefully -- he's probably a little sore, at least -- and lays a hand on Axel's waist. "Axel?" he says.
"Mmm," Axel says, nuzzling at Roxas's hair to show he's listening.
"I think," Roxas says. "I think I like you, too."
Axel smiles, and he's trying hard not to think about how warm he feels inside and how much it feels like he's been waiting for that, and. "Yeah?" he says, keeping his tone as light as he can. "That mean you'll stick around for a while?"
Roxas nods, his hair brushing ticklishly at Axel's throat, and Axel thinks his badass score is probably taking another massive hit for this, but he's grinning from ear to ear.