Chapter Text
They oversleep.
Shok.wav gulps down the employee who got brave enough to call Vox and wake him up, and another employee brings them both coffee, and Vox is having a meltdown.
“I’m never late!” he cries. “My brand is perfection, and– oh my God, I promised you breakfast! Shit shit shit, think they can deliver in… four minutes or so? fuck, I should call them and ask, or – maybe you wanna eat an intern? Fuck no, I promised venison, do we have deer interns? Oh my God oh my God, I’m sorry–”
“Relax, Vox,” Alastor unhurriedly sips his (quite amazing) coffee and enjoys the show. “They won’t start without us, it’s fine.”
“We’ll be in Heaven for two days! You won’t be able to eat cannibal for two days!”
Honestly, it’s almost cute.
“Takes more than that to make me that nervous,” Alastor murmurs. “You’ll make it up for me later, don’t worry. I won’t forget.”
“I–” Vox whines and hides his screen in his palms. “I wanted today to be perfect! And it’s your fault, actually! I wanted to wake up early!”
“Do you want to register a complaint?” Alastor tilts his head in curiosity.
“Fuck, no,” Vox laughs nervously. “No, no, it was wonderful. And I needed the sleep, probably,” he sighs. “Really, have an intern or something, please? Anyone you want.”
Alastor brushes him off and slowly finishes his coffee – Vox nervously tapping his foot and glancing meaningfully at his watch.
“What the fuck do you mean, we’re out of protein bars? Are you fucking high or something?” he screams at his assistant, and Alastor giggles.
When they do exit the penthouse, Vox hesitantly reaches to take his hand.
Alastor pulls it away and glances at Vox. “None of that in front of people,” he growls. “And nothing in front of my Maman, understood? Or the next time you’ll see your member, it’ll be swimming in formaldehyde in a jar on my fireplace.”
“Got you,” Vox squeakes.
📻📻📻
“I will not be able to go with you, so please please please, say hello to Pen from me? And your mom too! Or my God, say hello to your mom!” Charlie chirps while they both sign the contract – Vox doesn’t even look at his, which, considering Alastor spent quite some time making final revisions, is absolutely stupid (Alastor taught him better).
“I will, darling, don’t worry,” Alastor assures her. “Any reason you aren’t able to join this delightful parade of stupidity?”
She slaps his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be like that! Heaven decided having two beings from Hell at a time is the maximum they can afford,” she sighs. “Don’t forget to say hello, yes? And from Cherry too!”
“Oh yes, because having just me and Vox is definitely safer than having us both and you, darling,” he chuckles. “Oh, the element of unpredictability the third person brings in! It should be studied or something.”
Charlie rolls her eyes and hugs him goodbye – Vox opens his arms wide too, and she approaches him awkwardly and decides against it (smart girl she is), instead giving him a wave of her fingers and an unsure smile, just delightful!
After that, they hurriedly step into the portal.
At the backstage, Vox is pacing back and forth in circles, surrounded by virtual screens with chaotic graphics, data and text, and Alastor observes him in amusement.
“Are you really nervous?” he chuckles. “You weren’t that anxious at that silly protest when I was your prisoner, and that was when you had all the reasons to!”
“I want it to be perfect,” Vox whines. “It’s important! It’s the first time they see me after I threatened to invade Heaven, and now I want them to trust me!”
Alastor sighs. “It’ll go fine, Vincent. You’ve done it countless times before, dead and alive. Spreading propaganda is literally the only thing you’re good at!”
“Thank you,” Vox says, sincere. “That’s sweet of you.”
“I’m bored,” Alastor yawns and peeks through the stage curtains to call for Emily. “May I go outside? I don’t wanna be stuck here.”
“You can go outside!” Emily jumps in eagerly. “When the presentation starts, yes? You just have to always keep an eye on Vox! Not that we don’t trust him, but… you know…”
She shoots Vox a sideways glance, anxious he’ll be offended, and Vox just shrugs, muttering a silent ‘Keep an eye on me, suuure’.
When the presentation finally starts, loud noises and bright lights and Vox bowing theatrically before the whole of the Pearl City, Alastor escapes into the crowd.
The herd of winners parts around him, fear spreading through it in waves – heavy, nervous gazes catching on his staff, his ears, his eyes, his smile – Alastor basks in it, the energy of their panic much stronger than everything he’s felt in Hell for a long, long time – delicious, mouth-watering dread, just like the oldest days, just like–
Someone touches his back, and he turns around sharply.
“Maman!” his thoughts make a complete turnaround, and he smiles. “You came!”
“Of course I did, love,” she pulls him into a tight hug. “The voice’s new,” she tilts her head, laughing, unbothered by his filter. “You didn’t tell me you were planning to come to Heaven! My old heart couldn’t take it when Em announced it! Sounded too good to be true, but here you are!”
“Here I am,” he smiles. “It wasn’t decided till the last moment. I mean, it’s complete lunacy,” he lowers his voice, conspirational. “They wanted to let Vox answer any questions winners might have in real time, and because they are afraid of Vox, they asked me to come too! Talk about counterproductive things! Absolute madness! Now they have two overlords in Heaven, instead of one!” he laughs. “I mean, they should have put exorcists on every corner, but decided against it, not to scare winners or something, and so they made us sign a contract! That I drafted!”
They laugh together. “I don’t care about the flawed logic, I’m just glad you’re truly here! What is the plan? Are you staying for two days?”
“Yes!” Emily jumps in between them out of nowhere, over-excited. “Vox’s giving a presentation now, it’s broadcasted to all of Heaven! And he’ll have two Q&As then, one right after the presentation, and the next after lunch! And then two Q&A sessions tomorrow, so that everyone can ask questions! Isn’t it wonderful?”
“Quite,” Alastor smiles politely.
“I’m so glad you two can spend time together! Oh my gosh, Alastor, it’s all so worth it! Sera is out with the Council now, asking for permission for you to stay outside the cleared hotel premises, and for Vox to stay alone for the night! I’m sure it’ll be alright!”
“Your assistance is invaluable, darling,” Alastor smiles, and Mariette gives him a sidelong glance and eagerly hugs Emily.
“No worries, I’m always glad to help! I’m so happy you’re getting well with Vox now, too! After what happened–”
“What happened?” Mariette narrows her eyes.
“Well, you know, with the Might of Lilith and my wing and everything, and I’m so glad you weren’t killed, makes me so happy! I’m sure Vox would be devastated if he actually killed you, surely he didn’t mean it, I mean–”
Somewhere out there, there’s surely an option to stop that, surely an option to silence her, to prevent the consequences, to stop everything, right here on the brick of the disaster, the unblinking eye of the storm – but Alastor doesn’t. know. how.
Mariette smiles politely and reaches for Emily. “Will you excuse us for a moment? I wanted to talk to my son for a second.”
“Sure, yes!” she says, and Mariette pulls Alastor to the side, and helpless, the last thing he hears from Emily is, “Just remember you have to keep an eye on Vox at all times!” and maybe Alastor would try to say something, but there’s a real, absolute danger in front of him right now–
“Follow me, young man.”
“I– I need to stay here and observe Vox.”
“You have bigger problems than that right now.”
And so he follows, silent. She finds a relatively empty place and turns to him, no trace of smile on her face.
“Explain.”
Father – the animal who contributed roughly fifty per cent to his DNA, the one long dead by his own hand – used to beat him regularly, of course. That was nothing unusual, bruises and bloody noses and – only once, was it? – a couple of broken ribs. Nothing to fuss over about. Nothing that ever stopped Alastor from fighting back.
He was never afraid of father – he surely was afraid of what he could do, to him or to Maman – especially to Maman – yes, he feared it and hated it and wanted to stop it stop it stop it– but otherwise, farther was an obstacle he removed as soon as he was able to. There was nothing to fear in a weak thing like that. He was gone, and the universe would never mourn him.
Maman never once hit him. She never punished him, even when she had all the reasons to do so. Yet her anger sent ice-cold shivers down his spine.
Her disappointment could hurt him properly. Probably even kill him.
His ears are pinned back so forcefully tiny muscles inside them cramp.
“I’m sorry, Maman, I didn’t–”
“Stop that,” she sighs. “How could you, Alastor, not tell me that?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I wanted–”
“Tell me the whole thing. Now.”
He wants her to reach to him, to place her hand on his cheek and tell him it’s okay, but she doesn’t.
You fucked up, old trash. Big time.
He inhales and starts talking. There’s really nothing else for him to do.
He tells her the full thing, gives it context and perspective and volume – Vincent’s inability to take competition while alive and Alastor’s certainty that the time of betrayal will come sooner or later – the partnership proposal and the whole complexity of his rejection – the seventy years of rivalry and the cacophony of Vox’s obsession – the prisoner’s deal and the last lost marbles of someone who’s spent a whole three minutes being the strongest sinner in Hell to be then demoted to a leader of failed revolution – the Might of Lilith, the fight, the twenty-ton piece of metal packed with high-end biotech – and how close they were to hurting each other, time after time after time, and never did it, never really did it, and the only time when Vox really wanted to–
“And then I brought him his body back.”
“Why?”
“He’d have regenerated by himself at some point anyway, it'd just have taken longer. This way, I got a favor out of it. Well, the original deal didn't work out, not my best work in terms of wording, don’t tell anyone, but we did come to it eventually, and he was able to deliver, wasn't he? I met you in person,” he smiles hesitantly. “And it’s fine now.”
“He could have killed you… forever.”
Alastor doesn’t meet her gaze. “Yeah.”
“And you never told me that.”
“What would be the point? I… I didn’t want it to hurt you.”
“You were complaining about my matchmaking, I wouldn't if I knew–”
“Making you stop talking about Vox isn't fun if it hurts you,” he says. “I'm sorry, Maman, I didn't want you to… Hell is a dangerous place, but I'm doing good, I promise,” he sighs. “He learned his lesson, I know he did. I wouldn't keep him around if I thought he didn't, if I thought him truly dangerous. I’m not suicidal in the slightest, Maman. I enjoy what I have.”
“What if he falls into hysteria again? What if he tries to hurt you again? He’s unstable!”
“Noone in Hell is,” he takes her hand gently and squeezes it. “I’m not stable either, Maman. I’m far from harmless. I control the situation. I… trust him to be predictable.”
She sobs. “I hate him now.”
“You have all the rights to,” his hands tremble slightly. “Please don’t cry. He’s not worth it.”
She ignores him and continues. “But your rejection of him was very harsh. I'm not saying it justifies things but… gosh. It really is a mess, son.”
“I'm sorry,” he says, feeling his useless thing of a tail stuck and trembling between his legs. “Are you mad at me?”
She sighs. “Oh, love. I'm not mad at you. I don’t think I can be mad at you, you stupid fox. Come here,” and hugs him.
He hides his face on her shoulder. “Are you disappointed?”
“No,” she shakes her head slightly. “I’m angry at Vox, yes. Absolutely. And I’m… I'm scared, Ally. You're all I have. And I've just got you back, just barely got you back. The mere thought of losing you…”
“I understand,” he nods, still hiding his face. “That’s why I was mad when you met Vox without telling me, yeah? Scared for you.”
“I'm not mad, but I need you to promise this is never going to repeat,” she takes his face in her hands. “Promise me this, word for word, darling: ‘I'm never going to hide something important about my own safety from you’.”
He clears his throat. “I promise I’m never going to hide something important about my own safety from you, Maman.”
“Good,” she says. “I'll be very mad if you ever break this promise, young man.”
He nods, and she kisses his forehead. “I love you, darling. That's not changing even if I'm mad, you know that. But don't you ever do this.”
“Hu-huh.”
“Why are you protecting him, after all of that?” she asks, quiet.
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
He half-shrugs, not ready to argue. “I don’t know. You’re the smart woman here, maybe you know.”
“Oh, I think I know,” she shakes her head, chuckling. The tears on her cheeks slowly dry out. “Have you thanked Emily for rescuing you? She’s lost her wing because of that.”
“I didn't ask her to,” he says, and her eyes become vicious. “I… there was a time when she offered to be owing me a favor, and I refused. That was gratitude.”
She frowns. “Not enough. You have to say you're thankful and apologize that she lost her wing.”
He growls. “I’m… I have a reputation in Hell, Maman, I cannot just go around–”
“You're not in Hell right now, isn’t it a perfect opportunity? I’m not forcing you, love, but I know I will be thanking her, and I think you should join me. That is how I raised you, if I remember correctly.”
He sighs, unable to hide his smile. “You don't have to do that, I will.”
“I do,” she doesn't smile. “She saved my son. Don't worry, we’ll ask her not to talk around about that.”
“It's physically not possible,” he shakes his head. “She's a bird, it seems they are made to be loud.”
She laughs and nudges his shoulder. “I love you, darling. Let’s go closer to the scene so you can control your darling friend whom I hate now.”
He laughs. “Why am I surprised that you're still into this?”
📻📻📻
The Q&A takes four whole hours, and Alastor spends all of them dutifully fulfilling his part of the contract – having more or less constant understanding of (1) where Vox is and (2) what he does – (1) on the stage; (2) talking; what else is there to observe? – but more importantly, he spends all this time talking to Mariette, surrounded by whispering voices of winners and low-level angels.
It’s wonderful.
They meet Vox behind the stage after he’s done.
“Hello Miss! So lovely to see you!” he bounces as he walks, full of energy and happy on his own cloud nine.
“I hate you, you know,” she readily tells him.
“What? Why?” his antennae drop immediately, and Alastor barely stops himself from laughing.
“You tried to kill Alastor."
“What? Fuck, you told her?” he turns to Alastor. Accusations, accusations! “What did I do? You promised–”
“It wasn’t me, pal. Blame the little angel’s long tongue, not me.”
He turns back to Mariette. “Are you against us now?”
Alastor growls a quiet, ‘There’s no “us”', but Mariette sighs, “Not really, no.”
“Alright,” Vox blinks, confused. “How was my speech?”
“It was adequate,” Mariette says politely, having not listened to a single word.
“Are you–” Vox stops himself and takes a deep breath. “Okay, high praise, why am I even surprised you both do that? Fine.”
Emily saves the conversation from the endless loop it is doomed to fall into, and Alastor is almost thankful for that. “Hi everyone! So, we cannot let you go anywhere on your own, unfortunately, emmm sorry for that, and Sera’s busy containing the Council today – they are quite mad, haha! – so I'll be the one to accompany you! Where do you wanna have lunch?”
“Don’t care,” Vox shrugs. “I’m not gonna enjoy being babysitted by an angel anyway. Cannot believe that’s my fucking life.”
“Can I come?” Mariette asks.
“Of course! I imagine you'd like to spend more time with Alastor! Feel free to!”
“We can go to my favorite place,” Mariette suggests.
“My treat?” Vox lights up.
Alastor rolls his eyes. “Do you have Heaven's money?”
“Oh, fuck.”
“I’ll pay!’ Mariette proposes.
“No need,” Emily says. “All expenses are covered by Heaven's budget!”
“How come Heaven isn’t into some communist dystopian shit?” Vox asks.
Alastor sighs. “Please just ignore him. Let's go before I try to escape all that and return to Hell prematurely.”
Unfortunately, on their way to the restaurant, Vox, an absolute child he is, sees the building.
“Holy shit, what is that?”
“That's a–” Emily tries to explain, not yet aware of the inevitability of her destiny for the next couple of hours.
“Is that an aquarium? Oh fuck it is an aquarium! Let's go in! Pleeeeease I wanna see! Let’s go!” Vox presses his screen into the glass wall and whines.
“Okay, but… It’s probably full of kids, so you have to be really–”
“Oh, he’ll behave,” Alastor chuckles. “You’ll see.”
The building is ten floors. Noone but Alastor knows yet how hopelessly they’re doomed.
While they walk in, Alastor helpfully informs Emily and Mariette that they won’t be having lunch today.
“We’re stuck here now,” he sighs theatrically. “He’s not gonna leave voluntarily. What time is the next event? We’ll probably be late for that, too.”
Emily tries to argue that it cannot be that bad, and that’s exactly the time Vox chooses to scream.
“IS THAT REAL FISH FROM EARTH?”
“Ehh… yeah, yeah it is,” the receptionist nods, side-eyeing their little delegation. Alastor gives her a polite wave of fingers. “Entrance’s free for educational tours and–”
“OH MY FUCKING GOD, THIS IS HEAVEN!” Vox runs to stay in the line, Emily pays (they’re not on an educational tour, no matter how hard Vox wants to believe otherwise), and they follow him.
Inside, Emily hesitates. “Ehh… Alastor, I can go bring something for you both to snack on later, if you promise he'll be good?”
“Al, look! Look look look! It’s Betta splendens! ALIVE!”
“He will be,” Alastor nods. “I’ll appreciate it, my dear. I also wanted to say,” he clears his throat. The fact that Vox’s currently on another planet completely and cannot overhear makes it slightly easier. “I’m sorry you were hurt in that mess, and I’m grateful you saved my life. Thank you.”
He manages not to gag, so that’s a good one. Mariette reassuringly pats his elbow.
“Don’t even think about it!” Emily laughs, easy. “It’s nothing! I have five more, it’s fine. I’m just glad you’re alive and well! I’m so happy for you!”
He gets really scared his teeth might get glued together from all this sweetness, but Mariette and Emily exchange a couple of pleasantries, and then she’s gone.
The thing finally done, they walk together with Mariette, following Vox’s steps.
On floor two, Vox is now reading a lecture on coral reef ecosystems to a bunch of winner children.
“This one is Diploria labyrinthiformis. Looks a bit like a brain, no? But it doesn’t have any thoughts, because it’s a coral. Corals have no thoughts! And look, this one, that’s a staghorn coral! It looks a bit like deer antlers! Trust me with that, I know a thing or two about deers!”
“Ridiculous,” Alastor shakes his head.
“And this is Sparisoma viride, they change sex during lifespan, and change color with it too! Not sure whether your parents approve of it, but that’s part of life! Tons of fish do that, and humans too,” he continues. The one parent accompanying the group blinks in a mild shock, and Alastor gives them a wide smile.
“That beauty is Diadema antillarum, look how spikey they are! They’re poisonous if you step on them, but you can eat them, if you’re into seafood and stuff. And that’s Amphiprion ocellaris,” he takes a deep, sad breath. “You know, Nemo? I won’t explain the plot, no, I don’t want to cry now, go ask your parents about that, I can’t.”
“That is actually adorable,” Mariette pulls Alastor by the sleeve to crouch slightly down so she can whisper directly into his ear. He laughs.
“Sphyraena barracuda keeps its mouth open so that those tiny fishes, it’s Labroides dimidiatus, can floss it! That’s why they don’t eat them, you wouldn’t eat your dentist, right? I mean, makes me think about someone–” he chuckles ans winks in general direction of Alastor. “And Rhincodon typus lives in corals, too! That's a whale shark! It's not a whale actually, whales are mammals, and sharks are cartilaginous fishes. And the whale shark is the biggest fish of all! But it only eats plankton, which is a loss, honestly.”
“Those are actually the moments I find him the least annoying,” Alastor confesses. “Even though the rest of the time, he keeps being extremely annoying with almost admirable consistency.”
She nods. “He’s quite passionate about those fishes, isn't he?”
“Oh my GOD!” Vox abandons the kids and runs to the next floor, and they follow him leisurely.
“Shark installation,” Alastor reads and sighs. “I’m sorry, Maman, it seems we’re never leaving this place ever again.”
“This is the best fucking day of my life!” Vox shouts. “Al, Al, look! This is fucking great white! How did they manage to capture him? They don’t survive in captivity! Do you see that? Heaven is awesome!”
“He might actually become interested in redemption for that?” Mariette asks jokingly.
“Carcharodon carcharias can swallow a human whole!”
“Or not,” she chuckles. “Although I suppose that's for the best. You both need each other.”
“You’re so cute! Yes yes yes, you are the cutest!” Vox coos, face pressed flat into the glass next to the ‘Do not touch glass please’ sigh. The shark circles around him, just as interested in the strange thing jumping in front of it.
“I might tell your dogshark thing you’re cheating on him,” Alastor hums.
“No!” Vox turns away from the shark and looks at him, horrified. “No, Shoky is my child! He's the best shark in the world! Don’t tell him!”
Alastor and Mariette laugh, and Vox frowns and reaches to take Alastor by the coat but stops mid-air.
“What is it?” Alastor asks, annoyed and nervous to be followed by Mariette’s all-knowing smile.
“Look how cute he is,” Vox says softer and moves closer and tries to place his head on Alastor’s shoulder. “I’m having so much fun.”
It really is just like having a pet.
“Go see the others, then.”
“Do you know whether he was like that when he was alive?” Mariette asks when they move to the next aquarium, accompanied by Vox’s continuous stream of whatever he considers interesting facts about their inhabitants.
“Yes, I believe. He killed one of his victims by letting a shark out of the aquarium. It's the only one he regrets.”
“Really?”
“Yes, the shark died too. They don't usually survive outside of water, which is really something he should have consisered before, no? Anyway, he regrets that.”
She sighs. “I wonder why didn't he become a marine biologist or something when he was alive? He was white, he could do things like that?”
“More difficult to organize a cult in this environment, I suspect?”
She nods.
They walk, surrounded by sharks from all sides, and Alastor thinks he almost doesn’t mind any of that.