Chapter Text
The way you wear your hat
Yuki picked the tuxes. Ma has never had an eye for fashion, neither has Dad, and the boys didn’t really care what they were wearing, so long as they got there. So Yuki picked the tuxes, because she and Ishii and Fuko (Yuki’s girlfriend, coming up on their two-year anniversary) were having a field day with researching everything that goes into a tuxedo, and between the three of them the overall aesthetic of the entire wedding was, as they put it, “wonderful.”
Lavender and Queen Anne’s Lace are the flowers, although nobody bothered to look into the flower language meaning of those two. Yuki picked those as well, with help from Dad, who was able to call a buddy of his from work (Gotou-san) and get some of those particular flowers delivered fresh (Gotou-san, who has been hearing about Ash and Eiji and the rest of Tomoya’s family for years now, called the flowers a wedding present, and insisted that it was “really, no trouble at all, I was landscaping some of them into a senior center under construction nearby”). The flowers sit in cozy, casual bundles bound by burlap purchased in bulk by Ma from a fabric store on the tables that will be used in the reception in the Okumura backyard, and more of them adorn the chairs set up facing the little archway that Tomoya, Yuki, and Fuko hand-built from branches of a tree that fell over during a lightning storm in that little neighborhood park where Ash proposed to Eiji ten months ago. Everyone can see the scars where the lightning struck the branches that make up the archway, and the contrast with the Queen Anne's Lace is breathtakingly beautiful.
The way you sip your tea
Of course, some people have come a long way to see this day– you know, the ones that’ve been waiting, hoping, praying for this day going on five years now. So the spare room that used to be Eiji’s has had the furniture moved to other places to make space for Kong, Bones, Sing Soo-Ling, Max Lobo, and Nadia Wong. In the end, Nadia opts to sleep on the couch, and the boys all grumble in the dark when they kick each other in the middle of the night for a week. The Okumura household is very full that week, and lively and fun– Bones asks if he can stay forever and Eiji and Ash yell over each other that he absolutely may not (“ get your own host family, jackass ”) before Ma can start to say “of course, Bone-san.”
Kong and Bones see Ash the softest they’ve ever seen him, and Eiji as jubilant as he always was when not under the weight of death threats. Sing sees Ash the way he’s been over text the past three and a half years, smiling and joking and healing . Nadia sees what she wishes her brother could have had, and she takes pictures to show the little shrine of Shorter that she has back home (although she pays her respects to her brother at the one in Ash and Eiji’s room too). Max sees Griffin resting peacefully, knowing that his little brother finally got the happy ending he deserved, and he tries not to cry every time Ash laughs loud enough to rattle the flower vase on the Okumura’s kitchen windowsill.
On the wedding day, they all don their formalwear as well. After all, Max will be one of the men walking Ash down the aisle, and Sing is Ash’s best man.
The memory of all that
Both Ash and Eiji got haircuts exactly one week prior to the wedding, before everyone from out of town arrived, sitting side by side in the barbershop chairs. The people cutting their hair were absolutely gushing over the idea of matching haircuts for the wedding (after they realized that Ash and Eiji were the ones marrying, and not, say, groomsmen), but Ash and Eiji balked at that, and went with the haircuts they already had picked. For Eiji, just a trim (he enjoys his long hair, and promised to let Yuki braid it very intricately for the big day). For Ash, an undercut, but leave the top long please, thank you.
When they walked out of the shop, holding hands, feeling gorgeous and loved and whole, a young man (who had likely just heard about the new legislation), glared as they passed him sitting on a bench. Both of them felt sorry for the young man because he must not know what it is to feel loved. To work for love. To almost die for love. To live for love. He will never feel the cold barrel of a gun against his temple, squeeze the trigger with his own finger, and feel the warm peace of a smile for your love before discovering the chamber to be empty. He won’t ever feel the heat of a car gas tank exploding, horror writhing in your gut when the men chasing you don’t stand up, and still the cool relief of knowing your love is with you, safe. He’ll never know these things and so he sneers at their clasped hands as they pass him on the street, and they feel nothing but pity. He’s never known love.
No they can't take that away from me
Everyone meeting for the first time was an absolute event . There was Kong, Bones, Sing, Max, and Nadia meeting Junko, Tomoya, Yuki, Ishii, Fuko, and Touya. They’d had to sit in a circle, like kindergarten, just so everyone could hear each other’s names. The whole evening was a chaotic mix of Japanese, English, and a bit of Mandarin slang from Nadia and Sing (and, surprisingly, Tomoya, who visits certain areas of China frequently for work).
They treated it like a party in the Okumuras’ house. There were all kinds of snacks, homemade and store-bought. Everyone from America was simultaneously mystified and not very surprised with Ash’s newfound cooking skills (“ new!? ” Yuki had cried at Nadia’s comment, “ he’s been cooking since, like, a month after he got here– ya know after he got sick that one time –” at which Kong had interjected incredulously, “ Ash got sick!? ” and the conversation derailed into what kind of supervirus could possibly get the number one tough guy of New York City sick).
Ma and Dad made it a point that everyone should call them just that, Ma and Dad (in whatever language they preferred, but Junko really pushed Ash’s pronunciation of “ókaa-san,” because she thinks it’s so endearing). They also made a special point of pulling Nadia aside late that night. “ We never got to meet your brother, ” Tomoya enunciated in careful English that he’s been practicing for four years now, “ but we know that he saved our sons’ lives many times. Please, accept our deepest thanks, and our most sincere condolences. ”
Nadia’s eyes watered. Nobody back home talks about Shorter’s death. Anybody who lives in the light of the sun knows what went down that day wasn’t right, wasn’t legal, and wasn’t sane. Anybody in any gang respects Shorter’s memory too much to dig into it. So right there, in the Okumura kitchen, she broke down in tears and let Junko– no, “Ma–” hold her like no mom has held her since her parents died.
The way your smile just beams
Eiji’s biological parents will be walking Eiji down the aisle, but Touya and Max are the men who will be walking Ash down that same aisle on the other side. Their first meeting is blundering and awkward, because that’s just how those men are, but after that and hopping over the language barrier as best they can with their limited knowledge and a translating app, they get along great. Their relative knowledge of Ash and Eiji is markedly different, however, since Max remembers them both gripping guns and scared for their lives and Touya knows them humming while they cook and taking goofy pictures with expensive professional cameras. But they can guess at each other’s experiences with the young men getting married anyway. Max can see the relaxed tilt of Ash’s shoulders, the way Eiji doesn’t look over his shoulder except when you call him from behind. Touya thinks of the way Ash had stumbled in, terrified and dissociating, when Tomoya had announced that he was coming home and the way Eiji had frowned morosely sometimes, seeing Ash hold a knife, before realizing it was to cut up chicken.
“You are the person who takes care of Ash working?” the translating app relays from Max to Touya.
“ Yes, ” Touya replies with a smile and a thick accent, “ He works at my restaurant with me. He is a good boy .”
Max smiles, nods, and says, “Yes, he is,” in Japanese before typing the rest into a translator. Unlike Touya, who has had almost four years now to pick up on Ash’s English and practice with it on customers during tourist season, Max has had two months to learn Japanese (after the invitations were sent out), so the translator speaks for him when he says, “Thank you for taking care of him all this time– I was very worried for him.”
“ We can speak English, Max-san. I understand most of it .” Touya offers placidly. He smiles too, in hopes of mitigating any unintentional condescension in his tone.
But Max doesn’t notice any accidental rudeness from Touya because he’s so relieved. “ Oh thank fuck, ” he replies, grinning back sheepishly, “I was startin’ to feel like an asshole– er, pardon my French. ”
“French?” Touya clarifies. He didn’t hear any French words (and he’s no expert in American metaphors).
“ I mean, the swearin’ and everything–… ” Max explains.
“ Oh! Don’t worry about that, Ash swears very often. I don’t mind .”
And they exchanged phone numbers, and a beautiful friendship was born.
The way you sing off key
Ash saved up for months and months– and that was with Touya throwing a few extra yen into his paycheck every two weeks (what can he say? He loves these boys, and he knows where the money is going) before it was enough for the ring he wanted. Technically, it’s from a pawn shop three doors down from Touya’s, but it’s real gold and gorgeous and the only ring that has ever made Eiji stop and look in a window with sparkling eyes like that. So it has to be that one. Besides, if Eiji wants an expensive ring, with the diamonds or whatever, they can get that for their wedding rings– this is just an engagement ring.
He keeps it in a satin box in his pocket for a week, waiting for the right time. The right time ends up being walking home from a date at Sakura Maid Cafe. Nobody was taking any lewd pictures this time (which is honestly hit or miss at this point, and the maids really like Ash and Eiji eating there because they’ll always be willing to call a customer out for being indecent– they call Ash their “ tall American friend ”). It was relaxing, and they have cute little heart cutouts that they colored in with crayons while they sipped their drinks. Honey-hued highlights filtered through the bare branches of winter trees, and Eiji thought they should take a picture.
“ I think you like that new camera more than you like me ,” Ash teased.
Eiji replied, “ Keep making fun of my camera and you can find yourself a boyfriend who doesn’t like taking pictures with you. ” They both laughed, and Ash relented to one picture, with his gloved fingers reaching into his pocket already.
“ Alright, where are we standing for this one? ” Ash asked, looking around. Of course, Eiji already had a spot in mind and pointed to a tall hickory tree in a neighborhood park across the street. There were no leaves to accessorize the branches, and nothing was particularly interesting, to Ash, about the tree itself, but Eiji has the artist's eye. Maybe it was the shape of the branches, or the cast of the shadows, or the color of the bark. If Ash applied himself, maybe he could see what Eiji saw, but he’s learning more and more that he doesn’t have to apply himself all the time, and that he and Eiji will always see different details in the same picture. What Eiji sees as a gorgeous canvas or breathtaking view, Ash sees as a potential picnic spot or a supply of hickory nuts in the fall. Loving someone doesn’t mean seeing eye-to-eye with them, it means appreciating the bigger picture together.
And that’s all Ash could think about while Eiji lined up his perfect shot and started the camera timer and positioned Ash how he wanted him: he wants to spend the rest of his life with Eiji, appreciating the same tree together even if they see it so differently.
So while Eiji scoops up his camera from the bench where he’d set it to take the photo, and checked the picture for quality, humming with approval and turning to show Ash his work, Ash went on one knee, pulled the satin box from his pocket, and opened it to reveal a woven gold band.
Eiji recognized the ring and turned bright red, gasping and shouting, “ Yes! Yes! I will, yes!”
“No, stupid, you gotta let me ask first .”
“Oh, shit , sorry, go ahead,” Eiji said, cooling enough to contain his excitement, “I’ll turn back around and we can try again.” And he turned around, spun in a full circle, and reigned himself back enough (despite a second wave of fresh excitement) to just gasp again, without shouting.
“Eiji, sunshine , will you marry me?”
“Yes!”
The way you haunt my dreams
Max has Griffin’s picture in his inside jacket pocket. Because let’s be honest, Griff shoulda been the one holding Ash’s arm today. But Max’ll do as a replacement. He’ll havta, anyway. Touya is on Ash’s other side, where some other member of Ash’s family shoulda been. Technically, Ash’s dad (Max doesn’t remember the name– guy’s an asshole anyway, who gives a shit) received an invitation to the wedding. He shoulda at least bothered to show up. But the man– for all his heroics that one time at Ash’s old house– had the audacity to return the RSVP with “will not attend” shakily circled in pencil. Max actually called him. Planned to give the bastard a piece of his mind. But he got a slurred “ hullo? ” and realized that the man was too drunk for any tongue lashing to get through. Max should know, he’s been that drunk before. And, of course, who the fuck knows where Ash’s mom went. So it’s Touya on one side, and Max and Griff on the other.
Next to the little platform serving as the altar is Sing on one side and Yuki on the other. They’re the best man and maid of honor, respectively. Unbeknownst to almost everyone, Shorter is present in three separate locations today: Sing’s jacket pocket, Nadia’s dress pocket, and Ash’s pants pocket. Kong and Bones are just next to Sing, both of them bawling their tough-guy eyes out. It’s a little bit funny, but mostly it’s making Kong’s eyeliner smear every time he wipes his eyes. On the other side of the altar, Eiji’s parents are walking him towards that little lightning-struck wooden archway, both of them grinning almost wider than the grooms themselves.
In the little chairs accented with some flowers Max can’t name is everyone else. Nadia, Touya’s wife, Yuki’s friends, one set of Eiji’s grandparents, Eiji’s aunt, two uncles, and two cousins, Ash and Eiji’s friends from Eiji’s college days, Ibe and his wife, and empty chairs for everyone who isn’t about to say some sappy shit and kiss.
Max hears a sniff from next to him and his eyes dart to see Ash, smiling, looking at Eiji, and crying harder than Kong or Bones or even Eiji’s crocodile-teared aunt. “ Thanks for being here, Max ,” he whispers, “ it’s– ”
“ Hey, hey, don’t cry on your wedding day, Ash, ” Max replies, and mobilizes the hand that isn’t on Ash’s arm to wipe his tears with a thumb. “ I wouldn’t miss today for anything .”
Ash sniffles again, nods. “ Thanks for bringing Griff, ” he says, “ I didn’t get a chance to bring anything with me, so I– ”
“ How about you take this picture with you then? ” Max suggests as they reach the altar, “ I’ll make a copy to take home. Call it a wedding present. ”
No, no they can't take that away from me
“Eiji,” Ash says, “ i n all our time together, there has never been anything that I wouldn’t do for you, nothing I wouldn’t give, nothing I wouldn’t take. I have given you my heart, my mind, my soul. I’ve given you my feet when I was too tired to run, and you carried me. I’ve given you my arms when I couldn’t find the strength to pull myself up, and you lifted me from the depths. I’ve given you my eyes when I couldn’t bear to see another thing, my ears when everything was too loud, and my lips when the words wouldn’t come. I gave you my bones and my skin and my every cell– but today I give you the last of me. Today I give you the only thing I’ve held back, the only thing I couldn’t give you before. Sunshine , I love you, and today I give you my left hand. You’ve held this left hand through so much, and I want you to hold my left hand forever. I give you my left hand, and with it all of myself. I love you, Eiji.”
We may never never meet again, on that bumpy road to love
“ Ash ,” Eiji says, “ nothing has been easy in the time I’ve known you. People have tried to kill us, we’ve been kidnapped a few times each, hurt many times over. It has been hard. But nothing has brought us down, and we are standing here, alive and in love and loved because of you. You kept us alive– you kept me alive, angel. And I’m so glad you did. Without you, I never would have been able to make it home. I never would have been able to say “ I love you” to anyone else. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Ash. I want you. I want the parts of you that you don’t like, and the parts that the world finds gross, and the parts you hide. I want all of it. I want all of you. I love you, Ash, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you .
Still I'll always, always keep the memory of
“And the grooms may now kiss.”
It’s soft and it’s public and it’s quick, but it feels like a lightning storm in every fiber of their bodies and it feels like it’s just them in their own little world like they’ve never been before and it feels like lifetimes of love lived out to their fullest. There is nothing that hurts except the flashes of Eiji’s parents’ cameras in the corners of their peripheries. There is nothing to be afraid of except Yuki’s eyeliner smearing off of Ash’s face. There is nothing to wait for except each other. It’s like the last gear clicked into place, and everything settles. The last vestiges of America finally hoisting their anchors and floating away. Even after the kiss, they hold each other for a long minute and Ash cries and Eiji rubs his back and they both smile and kiss again– knowing they’ll have a lifetime left for the rest of it.
The way you hold your knife
“Congratulations on the marriage,” a smooth voice hums.
“ Why am I not surprised to see you here? ” Eiji grumbles into his cake.
Ash places his plastic knife discretely at Yut-Lung’s brain stem and asks, “ Are you here to hurt anyone? ”
Unperturbed, Yut-Lung scoffs, “ On your wedding day? Of course not. ”
Ash removes the knife, “ Then why are you here? ”
Yut-Lung smiles a placid (if mischievous) smile and shrugs daintily. “ To pay my respects to a retired veteran ,” he answers, “ and to make sure a competitor is staying gone .”
“Well, we were going to visit New York for our honeymoon,” Eiji murmurs. When Yut-Lung visibly angers, Eiji laughs, “ I’m kidding, I’m kidding! You could not pay me money to go back there .” Ash agrees with a matching smile and a nod.
“ Really? ” Yut-Lung says simply, tucking his bobbed hair behind his ear, “ I’m glad to hear it– although Blanca will be disappointed .”
“ Tell that asshole to stay five miles from everyone at this reception, ” Ash growls.
“ Why do you think he didn’t come with me? ” Yut-Lung points out. Then he grabs a piece of cake and a plastic fork and sashays out the front door of the Okumura residence, like he lives there or something, with a parting message, “ Blanca says ‘Congratulations.’ Happy honeymoon. ”
The way we dance till three
There’s no orchestra or anything. Just Yuki’s speakers plugged into the outlet outside and her mp3 playlist hooked up with an aux cord. The dancefloor is a rented one for the occasion. But the whole thing seems absolutely magical to everyone when Ash and Eiji take the floor and the speakers begin to sing “They Can’t Take That Away From Me” by Ella Fitzgerald. It’s an American song, but this version is sung half in Japanese, half in English. It’s gorgeous, and it was picked by Eiji.
This is their son, their brother, their old leader, their nephew, their cousin, their grandson their friend, now a husband to the most deserving man on the planet. It’s a happy ending for the two men who deserve it more than anyone else in the world.
The way you changed my life
The day after the wedding, they leave for their honeymoon at a hot spring in Hokkaido. They take a plane, and the altitude makes both of them nervous. They haven’t been on a plane since they touched down in Japan for the first time, four years ago. But the taxi to the resort is more relaxing and they arrive just after sunset. After dinner, they take a quick bath before heading straight to bed (they’re going to spend more time in the baths tomorrow, but tonight, they’re tired). The sheets are soft, the mattress firm, and the air is still just a little cold at the edge of spring. They can smell the new grass growing outside, spreading roots into rain-soft soil and uncurling blades gently into welcoming fresh air.
Eiji watches Ash sleep, wondering if his first time sleeping in a foreign bed will awaken old fears, tremors in the night, terrors in sleep. But no. Ash’s body finally, finally has the limp, boneless characteristics of sleep. He’s comfortable and relaxed. His brow unfurrows with unconsciousness. His shoulders slump contentedly as he drifts off. His fists fray apart as he rests. Sleep, true, nurturing and without a fight, comes at last.
When Eiji, too, settles in for the night, and they pull each other close, snuggle in, and fall asleep to the rhythm of their combined breathing, they can both finally rest.
No, no they can't take that away from me