Chapter Text
"This is strange."
"I told you to stop saying that."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I listened to you."
"Since when have you ever?"
"Ah, I don't think it's that weird. It's very common to go on double dates - not that I hang out with that sort of crowd, people in academia aren't the most desirable, you know?"
"All of you," Jungeun says, rubbing her temples hard, "Stop talking."
"You're the one who suggested this," Hyunjin points out helpfully, playing with her milkshake straw. Hyunjin's milkshake order is an abomination unto itself - while Jungeun takes her drinks excruciatingly sweet, Hyunjin ordered a mint chocolate milkshake "without the chocolate". Then she asked the waitress to add bitters. Hyunjin's essentially drinking a tall glass of Baileys right now.
Heejin is, however, wont to agree with Hyunjin. Jungeun's message to her had sounded foreboding - I think Jinsol should meet Hyunjin - before she outlined the rest of her plan and Heejin realized Jungeun was suggesting a double date.
Jungeun still won't admit it. Maybe it's for the better. It takes Heejin's mind off just how weird all of this is.
The double date, in and of itself, isn't half bad. Jinsol has taken a keen interest in vampires, a little too keen if Heejin's being honest, and spends the two hours grilling Hyunjin on everything there is to know about them.
"Why can't you go out in the sunlight?"
"I can, because I'm a superior being," Hyunjin tells her, making no effort to disguise the smugness with which she says it. "All of the Old Ones are able to."
"Old Ones?" Jinsol says, twirling her straw, "I find you quite young…"
Jungeun and Heejin spend the time eating, drinking, and otherwise pretending not to hear Jinsol and Hyunjin's increasingly strange conversation. They don't talk much. They never have, even though Jungeun has a hidden tendency to ramble that rivals Jinsol's. Heejin does spot Jungeun giving her strange looks here and there. Several times, she opens her mouth as if she's about to say something, before closing it with a furtive look at a distracted Jinsol.
When they get up to leave, Jungeun takes her aside, hand on Heejin's elbow, and says, "I have a strange feeling this is the last time I'm ever going to see you."
"What?"
Jungeun waves at Hyunjin and Jinsol (who are now in a conversation about the merits of the sun) to go ahead, and says seriously, "It's just a feeling. You know?"
Heejin doesn't, but she nods slowly, digesting Jungeun's words, "I guess?"
"You're a good person, Heejin," Jungeun chuckles, and pats Heejin on the shoulder. Then she says something curious, something Heejin's only heard Hyejoo and Yerim say. "Even in death, may you be triumphant."
-
"What was that about?" Hyunjin asks her when they get into the truck, Hyunjin in the driver's seat. Hyunjin has been learning to drive Heejin's truck, which is both alarming and endearing at the same time. She supposes you can throw caution to the wind when you're unkillable, but it's just alarming that Hyunjin drives as if Heejin is as invincible as she is. "Jungeun was making weird eyes at you."
"I'm surprised you noticed," Heejin laughs edgily, swinging her takeout bag over her thigh and leaving it nestled between her knees, "With how you and Jinsol were talking-"
"What, were you jealous?" comes Hyunjin's lightly scornful laugh.
"-you seemed too engrossed in conversation, that's all I'm saying."
Hyunjin laughs again, then clears her throat. They weave around a piece of roadkill (why is there roadkill on a city street?), the light from the streetlamps glinting off Hyunjin's hair. Heejin recently convinced her to stop using hair gel - more accurately, Heejin punted the tub of hair gel out of the window, and Hyunjin hasn't been able to find it since.
"Seriously though, did something happen?"
Heejin shrugs helplessly. Jungeun's words are still circling the inside of her head, making her second-guess herself. Will she be dead in a month, when Kahei and Sooyoung come for her? What does Jungeun know, anyway? "I guess."
"Is something wrong?" Hyunjin says casually, knuckles whitening against the steering wheel.
"No," Heejin sighs, deciding to let it go. Jungeun's never been a fan of explaining her cryptic statements, and Heejin is too nervous to ask. Some things are better off unsaid, out of sight and out of mind.
Hyunjin hums, and Heejin looks over to see Hyunjin squinting angrily at another driver in front of them. Her tone is deceptively calm, "Okay. Do you want to watch a movie when we get home?"
"Will it be Frozen 2?" Heejin teases lightly, and Hyunjin lets out an indignant huff, knuckles loosening against the steering wheel.
"So what if it is?"
Heejin chuckles, staring at the takeout bag in her hand, and shakes her head, a sudden feeling of melancholy taking over her. "Do you think you could drop me off instead?"
-
Heejin brings Chaewon food, rapping her knuckles against the (now-repaired - Yerim paid for it in full as a parting gift) door with one hand, the other hand holding a big bag of Chaewon's favourites from the diner. That translates to a milkshake and a platter of cocktail sausages (it's called the Sausage Party at the diner, and they always make you say the name of the dish instead of just calling it a cocktail platter).
The door swings open, Chaewon's face greeting her first, her hair curlers next. She's in a blue blouse and jeans, and Heejin absently wonders if she had been planning to go out. There's something different about Chaewon tonight, none of the languid energy Heejin has become so accustomed to. Something more frantic, more galvanized.
"It's bad," Chaewon tells her grimly, and takes her by the arm. They start walking into the apartment, Heejin struggling to match Chaewon's brisk pace. It's the fastest Heejin has ever seen Chaewon walk, even since they announced the Friends reunion special. "They're executing a vampire in front of the whole hunterdom."
Heejin's head spins. "Why?"
"For Yerim," Chaewon mutters.
"Does Hyejoo know-"
"No," Chaewon shakes her head, and then looks slightly guilty, steering the topic away from their friend. "They asked me to be part of the firing squad, Heejin."
"And you said no?" Heejin croaks out. Hunters hunt vampires - that's true - but this is too much. Trussing up a vampire and executing them in front of a jeering crowd is wrong. It's dishonorable. It goes against everything Heejin stands for (which reminds her - what does she stand for anymore?), and she looks to Chaewon now, in hopes that her friend will tell her she believes the same, and in fear that she will not.
The look on Chaewon's face makes her heart sink.
"You didn't say no," Heejin realizes, the words dropping like poorly-skipped stones. "Chaewon, how could you not have said-"
"Yerim is dead ," Chaewon hisses, her face morphing to wear a livid expression Heejin has never seen on her best friend. She doesn't yell. She doesn't have to. This is frightening enough. Heejin begins to get an unsettling feeling she's only gotten around vampires - the feeling that you are trapped, and that you can do nothing about it.
Her fist clenches and unclenches by her side as she speaks, as if she might hit something - or someone, "Have you seen Hyejoo? She's a mess . I need to do this, Heejin. If nothing, then to honour Yerim's life."
Every mention of Hyejoo and Yerim feels too much like a cheap shot, but Heejin takes the bait, foolishly, mindlessly, idiotically. She shakes her head, "You're not thinking this through. This is crazy."
"Excuse me?" Chaewon says, voice raised, fist clenched into a hard ball now. She wonders what it would be like if Chaewon sunk her fist into her cheek, how they would fare against each other. Chaewon is small, but deceptively so. Somehow, she knows she does not want to fight her.
She chooses to use her words instead, "Have you not considered that the vampires may fight back ? What happens when they find out what you did?"
"Vampires are solitary creatures," Chaewon retorts coolly. She sets down the food Heejin gave her like it's poisoned, like she wants nothing to do with it. Heejin recognizes it for what it is, and her heart squeezes, torn between righteous anger at Chaewon and all-encompassing grief for Yerim. "They don't communicate."
Stubbornly, Heejin insists, "They'll know."
Chaewon snaps, raising her voice, and Heejin takes a step back at how novel this is for Chaewon, "And so what if they do? I know you and Hyunjin have something going on, but it doesn't change the fact that the vampire who turned Yerim is still alive! We're going to kill him, and that's that!"
"No, he's not," Heejin says softly, feeling cold all over.
"What?"
"You got the wrong man. The vampire who turned Yerim is dead. I saw Hyunjin kill him."
That earns her a deep exhale of air through Chaewon's nose, a frenzied look in her eye like she might punch Heejin if Heejin gets too close, and Heejin's heart shatters. This isn't the Chaewon she knows, and she wonders if everything has changed this much - if loving Hyunjin has to come at the cost of her friendship with Chaewon.
Would she give all of what she has with Hyunjin up, to mend her friendship with Chaewon if nothing else? Why does it feel like she has to choose in the first place, like she is at an impasse between Hyunjin and the rest of the hunterdom? Why does Chaewon have to be part of this?
She wants to have a concrete answer waiting for her, but finds that she does not.
"It doesn't matter," Chaewon finally says, hands flitting to her head to rub at her temples. She repeats, "It doesn't matter. Get out of my house."
"Chaewon-"
"I said get out if you know what's good for you," Chaewon snaps brokenly, and as Heejin walks out like a kicked puppy, she thinks she hears a sob.
-
She walks the whole way home again, breaking into a run when rain starts pouring down. A part of her feels like she deserves it - the other part knows that she deserves this. She feels like a wet dog when she shows up back home, hair and clothes dripping rainwater onto the carpet, eyes red from the rain that'd smeared into her eyes. She wonders if some of it is her tears.
The house is warm, and it smells good, like freshly-brewed coffee - Hyunjin's obviously been up to something. Heejin takes her time, though, stripping off her overcoat and pooling the rest of her clothes in a sopping wet pile of fabric, all the while feeling the most anger she has in a while. She hurls the whole pile in the laundry basket, tempted too much to just fling it back outside and let it rot.
Standing in nothing but her underwear, she knows she must not cut a very formidable sight, but God if she doesn't feel like it. If Chaewon saw her now…
She sinks her fist into the drywall. It crumples under her knuckles, and the skin stretched across her fist splits where it meets the wall at the same time, spreading burning, stinging pain across her hand. Holding back a cry of pain, she withdraws her fist, tears pricking her eyes, and cradles it in her left hand, staining it thoroughly with warm blood. She can see the appeal it has to Hyunjin, she supposes.
"Heejin?" comes Hyunjin's voice, alert and attentive, and Heejin begins to cry silently, her brain at war with her body. This happens all too often now, but Chaewon throwing her out of her house feels like the last straw, just what was needed to push Heejin over that edge.
She begins to get that familiar cloying feeling again - that she'd rather be anywhere but here. She doesn't want to deal with hunter politics. She doesn't want to be at odds with her best friend. And she doesn't want to kill Hyunjin.
"Heejin, are you okay?" comes Hyunjin's voice again, now rimmed with panic. Footsteps echo from the kitchen, and Heejin clears her throat roughly before speaking. She has to be calm. She can't lose herself in front of Hyunjin, not again.
"I'm fine," she calls back, and then stares at her bleeding knuckles, the faintest edges of a plan growing sharper.
Hyunjin appears in the doorway, apparently not convinced, and Heejin locks eyes with her. The expression on her face must border on crazed, with the fact that she's standing next to a pile of her own clothes, but if Hyunjin finds it strange, she doesn't comment. She freezes when she sees Heejin's fist, bleeding and smearing blood all over her torso, and her eyes track over to the hole in the wall, before she shakes her head hard, as if trying to dispel a particularly unpleasant dream.
Hyunjin turns around and walks back to where she came from, and Heejin lets out a shaky breath, head spinning. Her fist throbs against where she's cradled it against her stomach, but she feels no inclination to clean it up. Not when she knows what she must do now, not when there is a plan that she intends to carry out.
She doesn't know how long she stays like this, staring into the depths of her own home, knuckles bleeding and staining the floor, mind working with more resolution and determination than she's felt in a long while. Heejin feels no need to change anything about this, not when this is what she needed to reset her brain and make it work again.
It must not be a very long time, because Hyunjin returns as fast as she'd left, carrying a first-aid kit with her left hand and a towel and a change of clothes in her right.
She doesn't speak. They don't need to. She nudges Heejin into a chair, the backs of Heejin's knees hitting the chair before she knows it, and kneels down in front of her. She raises Heejin's fist to her eye level, and before Heejin can do anything, kisses her knuckles.
Her lips come away bloody, and Heejin exhales threadily. But Hyunjin just pulls cotton balls from the kit, wets her knuckles with iodine, and starts cleaning Heejin's wound. Heejin hisses at the sting, but holds her hand steady, with the uncomfortable exception of an exhausted tremble. The only time Hyunjin speaks is to ask her Does this hurt? in a low murmur, when she wraps the gauze across Heejin's hand and secures them.
Outside, the rain pours. Heejin ends up staring at Hyunjin as she works, admiring every part of her face as she painstakingly cleans the blood off her skin and disinfects the wound. And, God - Heejin doesn't need saving, not from a wall, but it registers that Hyunjin's done it again. Pulled her back from the edge, saved her when she was barreling towards something dark and painful.
Her shoulder aches in tandem with the thought, and the sight of Hyunjin, blood on her lips, contrasted with the memory of fangs in her shoulder, pushes her closer to an edge Hyunjin cannot pull her back from.
They have to run away, she thinks. There isn't a world that could tolerate anything else.
When she's done wrapping Heejin's hand up, Hyunjin casts a thoughtful eye over Heejin's body, the blood smeared across her torso, and frowns. She comes back with a small basin and a warm cloth that she wipes over Heejin's skin, getting rid of the blood and drawing comfortable sighs from Heejin.
Wordlessly, she hands Heejin her clothes to pull on, and when Heejin is done, she leads her by the hand to their bedroom. Hyunjin is single-mindedly focused on Heejin, and Heejin? Heejin can only think about running away with this woman.
-
"Do you want to talk about it?" Hyunjin asks, facing away from Heejin. The lights are off, but neither of them are asleep. And a pity that is too, because it's a magnificent night. There's rain pouring outside, cold wind blasting through the house, and it should be beautiful like this.
Heejin blinks, the arm she has draped over Hyunjin's waist pulling back.
Even in the dark, Heejin sees Hyunjin shrug. "You look like you want to."
"I was just thinking," Heejin finally says, after running through enough scenarios in her head and deciding that Hyunjin should know now. At the very least, Heejin should say it, because it will spread the raging fire in her heart. And if it burns everything down in its path - well, Hyunjin's invincible, isn't she?
The thought makes her sit up, her heart pounding in her ears, stomach tight with anticipation. "Let's run away."
Saying it makes it real - and for once, it doesn't scare her. This is real, and this is what she wants, and this is what she needs.
Heejin has begun to conflate duty and desire more and more as the days pass, but she knows now that this is both . It couldn't be anything else, not when her heart beats so steadily to the beat of the thoughts buzzing in her head.
Hyunjin's voice is nothing like the confidence Heejin feels. It comes out a tenuous whisper instead, one of, "Are you sure?"
"More than anything," Heejin promises. "I'm not doing it. I'm not killing you."
That's two things - two things Heejin has spoken into existence, and two principles Heejin will die for. Her breath catches at Hyunjin's silence - why isn't she talking? Why-
Hyunjin finally turns around, and looks up with her with mournful eyes, before laughing softly, sadly.
By the light of the moon and stars, Heejin's heart breaks again.
Softly, she asks, "Are you okay?"
"No, it's nothing," Hyunjin says, but her eyes are wet, tears cresting over her waterline. "It's just that- all this time, I thought you were going to kill me. I'm not disappointed, don't get me wrong, but this, Heejin - I thought I was going to die. The stake-"
"I'm going to get rid of it," Heejin promises reflexively, because she can hardly bear to imagine the stake in the garage, that terrible killing thing she's given the past year of her life to. It reminds her of who she was - a misguided killer, a mindless drone following the doctrine of the hunterdom. She doesn't quite know where she lies now, but all she knows is that she is different now.
"That's not what I meant." Hyunjin stretches, lanky arms going over her head, before telling her, "There's nothing I want more than you. And the thought that it was all going to be taken from me, by you- I would have let you kill me, Heejin, if it satisfied you."
Oh. Oh.
"And then I got around to thinking- How long have I been without you?" Hyunjin chuckles lowly under her breath, and turns her eyes to Heejin, those hard eyes that seem to soften too often for her own good, "And if I lose you now- How long until I have you again?"
"Hyunjin," she says, more for the sake of speaking than anything, as if just saying the word will quell the movement of the world beneath her feet.
"This is a good thing," Hyunjin smiles, her composure returning to her, "All of this was good. So let's run away, Heejin."
Heejin's eyes prick with tears. Hyunjin says her name so reverently , and Heejin wonders if she can ever express that same reverence back, give back something she was never owed. Hyunjin has lived a selfish life by her own admission, killing and taking as she saw fit. Why does she act so differently with Heejin? From the beginning, even - why did she come to her, and why did she let Heejin try to kill her?
Hyunjin's looking for an out too, an escape from that immortal life she possesses. Running away will be the most selfless thing they've ever done. Because they aren't so different after all - they've both spent their lives killing and taking, without pause or care. Leaving is good. All of this is good.
If I lose you, how long until I have you again?
Something in Heejin snaps. She realizes now that she's tired of this - of feeling weak when she knows she isn't, of retreating when she knows she should charge forward, of hanging back when all she's wanted is here.
And so she presses herself against Hyunjin and kisses her. Their teeth click at first, in the stray moments where Hyunjin is bewildered, but that gives way to Heejin licking past the seam of her lips and into her mouth.
It should be too much, but Heejin can handle it. She breathes steadily through her nose as she kisses her, Hyunjin's hands coming to grasp her by the forearm, and she whines a little when Hyunjin licks at the roof of her mouth, when she chases her lips like she can't bear to be away from her for even a moment. She's a woman possessed, too eager for her own good, but she refuses to stop. She's spent too much of her life holding back and being afraid.
Hyunjin gives a broken sigh, and it occurs to Heejin that that may be the same for Hyunjin, too.
It's almost sweet, how languid and simultaneously frenzied they are. Hyunjin moans when Heejin kisses her over her soaked underwear, and her fingers are interlaced with Heejin's, deceptively gentle. That grip gets that much tighter when Heejin's tongue makes contact with her core.
Heejin is a woman possessed, edged on by need, by want, by the voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Hyunjin's, the one that tells her Heejin, I want to do this. Heejin, please, let's do this. Heejin, I know what I want.
She doesn't do vices, but this comes pretty damn close.
"Heejin," Hyunjin cries out as Heejin's working her fingers into her, and the way Hyunjin says her name drives Heejin insane, "I don't-"
She pauses. Looks up at Hyunjin, whose eyes are wet with tears. "Are you okay?"
"I am," and Hyunjin whimpers when Heejin curls her fingers in her, "I just need to know that you're not going to regret this."
The question sounds downright ridiculous at first, because how could Heejin regret any of this? Never, not when Hyunjin has become every breath she takes into her lungs, not when she has Hyunjin under her like this. But then she remembers how many times she's left Hyunjin confused and alone in the cold, uncertain of where Heejin stands, and she understands.
She tightens her other hand's grip on Hyunjin's hip, earning a groan, and smiles a secret, vicious smile to herself.
"I won't regret a thing," she vows, "I promise."
And she wonders - Heejin, since when do your promises mean anything?
-
Updates from Vampire Mountain come in sporadically. Sooyoung keeps visiting, but only to give hard looks to both Heejin and Hyunjin. She is never accompanied, but it doesn't take much to deduce that Sooyoung is having Heejin's home watched, which makes any efforts at running away that much harder. Packing any of their things would send alarms ringing, driving Sooyoung straight back to her.
Jinsol is in Heejin's garage today, helping her smelt one of the last bits of silver. (She'd explained it as such: Jungeun is doing something special for their anniversary, and as such, kicked Jinsol out for the whole day.) It's more fun than usual, because of the Damoclean sword hanging over Heejin. Also because they're singing along to music, but that's secondary.
"I have to say," Jinsol mutters, pulling the welding mask off with one hand and peering appreciatively at the stake, "This is a piece of art. What was it again? Sixty-six percent silver, thirty-three percent gold by molar mass?"
Heejin bites her tongue to stop herself from reflexively correcting Jinsol on the decimal points. "Yeah."
Jinsol whistles lowly. "That's fascinating. And this can kill Hyunjin, when Jungeun says nothing else can?"
"Yeah."
"Well then." Jinsol straightens up, wiping the sweat off her forehead, "You'll be glad to know it's finished."
"What?" Heejin says, leaping up, "What do you mean?"
"Those last bits of silver? They've been added," Jinsol explains, "And I'm guessing you'll have to christen it with holy water before, ah, going about your business, right?"
Heejin nods, the cogs in her brain turning. Jinsol is gazing at the stake in a mix of adoration and admiration, and she says, "You said you'd love to study it, right?"
"I would," Jinsol agrees, hugging the welding mask to her front. She has a dreamy look in her eyes, and Heejin wonders if this is the right thing to do, to give away something she has worked on tirelessly. But then - hasn't Jinsol done the same, given days of her time to help Heejin with a project she didn't even understand until recently? This is Jinsol's as much as it is Heejin's.
But what if Jungeun takes it, and comes after Hyunjin with the stake?
She stares at Jinsol steadily, remembers that Jungeun agreed to go on a double date with them, and decides that the stake will be in safe hands.
"Then take it. Hide it in your bag and take it," Heejin mutters, dropping her voice - she and Hyunjin went through the house and destroyed all the obvious bugs, but she can never be too careful when it comes to Sooyoung. "Keep it at Jungeun's, that place is a fortress."
Jinsol, true to the very end, doesn't ask questions (at least, not any more questions than Heejin can answer). She grins, and says, "Jungeun was right. This is the last time I'm seeing you. I don't believe in predestination, Heejin, you know that."
"Please don't give me an ominous speech," Heejin says weakly, smiling when Jinsol laughs.
Jinsol claps a hand on Heejin's shoulder, giving Heejin one of those smiles that make you feel like all is well in the world (and in this moment, Heejin understands why Jungeun is so taken with Jinsol - maybe she'd be enamoured with her in another world). "All I was going to say is, I'm happy I met you, kid. And, well, I wish you luck wherever you need it. I'm a little sad we never got to give you a goodbye present, though."
Jinsol's hugs are like her smiles - they make you feel as if nothing could ever go wrong, and as if all the injustices in the world have been righted. She squeezes Heejin tight, and murmurs, "I'll get your present to you soon. Jungeun and I will think of something."
Heejin watches Jinsol step away and lift the stake from where it's been for the past year. She looks it up and down, then stuffs it unceremoniously into her hiking backpack. Heejin watches it disappear into the confines of the bag, and feels almost immediately as if a weight's been lifted off her chest. This is the culmination of a year's worth of effort - and it has ended with this little fanfare.
Somehow, she thinks she likes it this way.
-
With the stake gone and quasi-safe with Jinsol (and by extension, Jungeun, which reassures Heejin - no one is getting past Jungeun's steely gaze and still-massive armada), Hyunjin relaxes, even if she thinks Heejin doesn't notice. She smiles more, kisses Heejin even more than she already does. She starts whistling - it sounds very bad at first, but Heejin teaches her how to shape her lips. It's still bad after that, but Heejin figures the thought is what counts. Hyunjin even joins a Reddit forum dedicated to people who suspect they're vampires, and spends some time counselling panicked would-be vampires who just turn out to be anemic humans.
"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" Hyunjin asks, peering at Heejin's phone. She's on a webpage for Twenty Questions to Ask a Girl , and has entertained Heejin with sixteen of those questions so far, including but not limited to -
Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or ten duck-sized horses? (Heejin thinks the one horse-sized duck is enough. Hyunjin wants as many foes as possible.)
Tell me about your ex. (That vague entanglement she'd had with Jiwoo doesn't count.)
What are you too hard on yourself for? (Everything.)
What are you too hard on yourself for? may as well be What do you regret?, and Heejin knows the answers to that all too well.
She misses Chaewon. She misses Yerim. She fears for Hyejoo. She'd do anything to talk to Jiwoo, but she's never where you expect her to be, and Heejin has been looking for her for weeks, to no avail. She envies Jungeun and Jinsol. She fears Sooyoung and Kahei, and what they will do to her when they find out that she has betrayed all of them.
More and more lately, it just seems Heejin lives a life of regrets.
"I always thought I'd be dead by the time I was thirty," Heejin tells Hyunjin, picking at a loose thread from the couch.
"And now?" Hyunjin probes, lips pursed.
Heejin shrugs. "I still think I'll be dead by then."
She feels bad for bringing the mood down, because the immortal vampire clearly doesn't know what to make of that. How many decades has Hyunjin had to fritter away, anyway? Heejin has one life, and she's given it to the hunterdom, never asking for more, but Hyunjin has lived enough lifetimes to fill a country.
Does she envy Hyunjin, too? Heejin looks at Hyunjin and decides that she doesn't. She likes her too much to be jealous.
"Can I ask you something?"
Hyunjin nods.
"What happens after we leave?"
"We find a nice place to spend all my money," Hyunjin responds. "You can keep hunting if you want to, but-"
"No," Heejin interrupts, "I mean, what happens when those ten years are up? Are you going to leave again?"
"What?" Hyunjin looks aghast.
"Because I'm going to get older," Heejin continues, trying to keep her voice from wavering, "And then I'm going to get old . What happens then? I'll have left behind my life and I might not have anything at all, and you'll move on and live forever."
She blinks, not realizing that she'd started hyperventilating while talking, and has to take a moment to calm down and breathe.
Meanwhile, Hyunjin crosses the room and folds her arms across her chest, staring at Heejin with those wide eyes, before she says, "Do you know where I see myself in ten years?"
"Where?" Heejin croaks out, feeling as if the life has left her heart.
"We're in our home," Hyunjin replies. "We're sitting in front of the TV. It's cold out, or something, I dunno. And do you know what we're doing?"
Apparently having had her vocabulary downsized to monosyllables, Heejin says, "What?"
"We're eating rose pasta." Hyunjin's eyes soften when Heejin bursts out laughing. "You love it so much that you ask me to order more. You won't stop pestering me about it. And I think about my past."
Heejin raises an eyebrow, asking an unspoken question, Your past?
"Decades pass by so fast for me. I never feel like much time has passed. Doubly so when I spend those decades feasting and having fun, most so when I'm happiest. And I think to myself," Hyunjin hums, continuing this imaginary scenario, "This is the fastest a decade has ever passed. And the only decade that'll pass faster is the next."
Hyunjin breathes out slowly, then asks, in the most plaintive tone Heejin's ever heard out of her, "Is that okay with you?"
"Come here," Heejin sighs, voice breaking, and pulls Hyunjin into a kiss. It feels like it stretches into eternity.
She can only wish it would.
-
It is not wise to alert the sentries keeping watch on their home, but Heejin does it anyway, because not seeing Chaewon before she leaves will tear a hole in her. Even if she doesn't know if Chaewon ever wants to see her again. Even if it means she may be hurt by Chaewon's response, she has to go.
She finds herself outside Chaewon's home on a clear, perfect night, the day after the emergency Council session ends, and watches Chaewon's car pull into the parking lot. It's a Bugatti Chaewon stole from a vampire she killed a long time ago, and Heejin has never stopped being envious of it.
She watches Chaewon crack the door open. She gets out of the car, oblivious to Heejin watching her from inside a bush, and proceeds to throw up beside her car. Her face has taken on a deathly white pallor, and Heejin winces at the sounds of Chaewon throwing up twice more. Then Chaewon straightens up, swipes the back of her hand over her eyes, and climbs up the stairs to her apartment.
The sight of it unsettles Heejin, who has only ever known Chaewon to be stable and strong. It's enough for her to decide to come back the next night.
The next night is another perfect one. She pulls up to the same bush, a doggy bag in hand, and waits for Chaewon to appear. Her car isn't in its lot, but she comes home soon enough, with bottles of gin to boot, and disappears into her apartment shortly after. Heejin stays awake throughout the night, and manages to catch Chaewon carrying the same, now empty bottles to recycling.
She doesn't know what to make of it, but she thinks the sinking feeling in her stomach tells her all she needs to know.
Heejin doesn't make herself known the next night, or the next, opting to watch as Chaewon brings increasingly large quantities of alcohol into her home. One time, she has to make two trips, arms unable to carry everything at one go. She always comes out by dawn to stuff the bottles in the recycling, though, and Heejin cherishes the rare moments she sees her, feeling more distant from her best friend than ever.
Maybe she doesn't even want to see you. Maybe she meant it when she threw you out. Maybe she wanted that to be the last time she ever saw you.
She feels braver a few nights in, and deserts her post in the bush to creep up the stairs, safe in the knowledge that Chaewon doesn't leave the apartment this early in the night. The stair boards creak when Heejin puts her weight on them, one foot in front of the other, as if they're trying to warn Chaewon of her arrival. The paint is peeling from the walls, alabaster plaster and paint chipping, and all Heejin can think is that someone should really let the landlord (read: Jiwoo) know. She'll get it fixed.
She makes her way up two flights of stairs, chides herself at how unfit she feels, and finds herself outside Chaewon's door.
Despite herself, she presses her ear against the front door. It's made of a considerably sturdier material than whatever the previous door was made of - paid for with Yerim's money, of course, which ensured that whatever went up here would be quality - which also means that it's thicker. This is good for any would-be burglars, but bad for Heejin, who tries her best to listen in on what's going on within, but walks away with nothing.
It's just… silent. She strains her neck trying to listen in for hints of music, or gunshots from that game Chaewon and Hyejoo like so much, but where she was expecting sound, she finds nothing.
She doesn't mind, though. She checks her watch and sits here, waiting for dawn to break before she gets up to leave, satisfied to be as close to Chaewon as circumstances will permit. She watches Chaewon head to the recycling bin with an alarming number of bottles from the same bush, watches her walk back to her apartment. This time, she closes the door with a slam, and Heejin sighs.
She misses Chaewon. She does, and sitting outside her door is no replacement for having Chaewon with her, peaceful and happy and not angry with her like Heejin imagines she must be. Her instincts nudge her closer to the door, ask her to knock, and then- and then what? She imagines falling to her knees in front of Chaewon to ask for her forgiveness, to ask for her blessing, to make sure that Chaewon's alright, even though all the empirical evidence suggests otherwise.
Somewhere along the line, Heejin realizes she's already forgotten what they'd fought over. All she knows is that Chaewon is hurt and scared, and she will do anything to make things better.
Heejin gets her chance the next night - or rather, the chance comes to her.
She's sitting cross-legged outside Chaewon's door, content with not hearing anything but knowing Chaewon is inside. She starts dozing off, doesn't hear the footsteps until the door swings open gently.
Chaewon stares down at her, face flushed from the alcohol and certainly from Heejin's appearance on her doorstep. Even as Heejin's field of vision swirls, she knows Chaewon looks a wreck. She doesn't even have her hair curlers in, a detail Heejin picked up the first night, and she's in a white blouse and jeans, something she would never wear unless held at gunpoint.
"Chaewon," she says drowsily, and then she chokes up, "Chaewon, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-"
"No," Chaewon interrupts, her voice shaking tremulously, "You were right. It was a mistake. We shouldn't have killed him. There was so much- They're coming after us now, Heejin, it was a mistake."
She offers Heejin her hand to pull her up, and Heejin jolts at the touch, suddenly awake and cognizant of the fact that this is real, this is happening. Chaewon is in front of her. Trembling, and telling her that she was right.
It doesn't matter. None of that matters any more.
"I'm sorry," Heejin tells her, "I'm so sorry."
Chaewon stares at her, and says, "I forgive you."
And this moment of forgiveness - Heejin wants to jump into it, drown in it, breathe it into her lungs like it's the last thing she'll ever feel.
Chaewon's throat bobs with a swallow.
"I'm going to miss you so much," she sighs, wrapping an arm around Heejin, "We need you, you know?"
She doesn't have to ask how Chaewon knows. Word must have spread fast, and after all, why else would Heejin be apologizing so much? Chaewon, above anything else, just looks sad and defeated, and Heejin finds herself wondering how she can want to leave when her best friend must need her now more than ever.
Does Chaewon need her? Does anyone? Who is Heejin to presume her eminence, anyway?
"Chaewon," she fiddles with her own fingers, not daring to look Chaewon in the eye.
"I'm not asking you to stay. I think you should leave," Chaewon murmurs, "We'd win if you were on our side, but I don't care about winning, not any more. I just don't want to lose another friend."
They both lapse into silence, and Heejin knows without asking that Chaewon is thinking about Yerim, too. This is the life of a hunter - losing your friends, and not even having the time to grieve them properly. Hyejoo has lost herself to the halls of Vampire Mountain, and was forcibly pulled from the Hall of Park Jihyo. Eyewitnesses say she was spotted with a hammer and chisel, according to Chaewon, and Heejin has to fight back tears at the thought. Hyejoo has done nothing wrong - and neither did Yerim, neither has Chaewon - but they are all paying the price now, for decisions made without their consultation.
And at the same time, even as she feels a crushing guilt about leaving - she feels like a rug's been pulled out from under her. If anything, this solidifies her resolve even more - she has to leave. She can't stay, not when it would mean compromising her morals so wholly and utterly.
At the same time, she understands why Chaewon will not leave. This is still all Chaewon has, and a part of Chaewon still believes in the mission of the hunterdom. A part of Chaewon will still follow the hunterdom anywhere, to the grave, and then beyond.
"This isn't your fight, Heejin," Chaewon says, and pulls her into a full-body hug, burying her face in Heejin's shoulder. Heejin hugs back hard, eyes widening when she feels her shoulder grow damp. Reflexively, she wants to pull away to stare at Chaewon, but Chaewon mumbles, "Don't you dare," and they both laugh.
Chaewon - her first friend, her closest friend, at that - is giving Heejin her blessing to run away.
"Thank you," Heejin says, and blinks hard to get rid of the tears in her eyes. "For everything."
Chaewon pulls away, and smiles weakly at her. "You were never alone, Heejin. You always had me. You always will."
Heejin walks home after spending the day with Chaewon, happy and flushed with the knowledge that Chaewon is safe. She wants to say so much to Hyunjin - that they must leave as soon as they can, because all the loose ends have been tied up now, and because her promises will count for something now. She wants to make love to Hyunjin, kiss her and wait for the day they spend the stretching decades together. She comes home to unconscious sentries in the front yard, Sooyoung's car in her garage, and Hyunjin yelling at her to run.
-
And just like that - the sun sets on their time together in this home. And just like that - Sooyoung comes to them once more. She's visibly angry this time - probably because her sentries have brought her no useful information -
"The stake," Sooyoung growls, sweat matting her hair, "Where is it?"
"It's gone," Heejin replies. A part of her is still wary about speaking to Sooyoung this way, because old habits die hard, and Heejin doesn't think she'll ever not respect Sooyoung. She hasn't done anything wrong, other than be on the wrong side of things.
"I saw you building it," Sooyoung says, accusatory. Her eyes flash with a righteous anger, "You should've known better than to betray us, Heejin. You know better. When did all of this change?"
It's the most she's ever heard Sooyoung say at one go, and it throws Heejin off for a moment, almost pushes her into apologizing reflexively. But then she catches Hyunjin's eye again, and breathes out shakily. Says what exactly has been on her mind.
"I thought you said I was only answerable to myself," Heejin croaks out.
"True," Sooyoung nods, sweeping Hyunjin aside with her arm, putting considerable force into the movement, if Heejin's eyes are to be believed. Hyunjin is so surprised that she topples out of the way, stumbling backwards (and Heejin wonders if she let herself get pushed back, because she knows Hyunjin could kill Sooyoung in one fell swoop), "But Kahei doesn't feel the same way, and I serve her."
"Aren't you tired of serving her?" Heejin asks softly, knowing that it is a useless question, because Sooyoung will never tire of serving Kahei. She feared that Chaewon would turn into Sooyoung, once, but she doesn't think anyone could be like Sooyoung.
"No," Sooyoung says curtly. Her eyes flash again, dangerous, like a predator staring down its prey, like a vampire seconds before pouncing. "Tell me where the stake is."
"Or what?" Hyunjin grins, and Sooyoung leaps forward, grabbing Hyunjin by the neck and trapping her in a headlock.
An inhuman sound explodes from Hyunjin's throat, but before she can reach out and (most likely dismember) hurt Sooyoung unimaginably badly, Sooyoung produces a syringe filled with a luminous golden liquid. Half of the syringe's contents empty into Hyunjin's neck before Hyunjin breaks out of the headlock.
Hyunjin snarls, "You thought that could-"
And then she crumples, fingers scrabbling at the syringe in her neck. Heejin watches on in horror as she dry heaves, hugging her knees to her chest and crying out in pain, before she goes still, eyes closed. The syringe hits the ground, glass shattering, and some of the golden liquid trickles out.
"From Jungeun's lab," Sooyoung says viciously, smiling with too many teeth, "We seized this a few weeks ago. It strips vampires of their superhuman power, makes them very human. On Hyunjin, this might not work well, but…" She steers Heejin's attention back to Hyunjin, who's still trembling on the floor, and smiles pleasantly.
Heejin draws her dagger.
"You can't beat me, Heejin," Sooyoung says, casually stretching to show the belt of throwing knives strapped to her chest. "So you'll tell me now if you know what's good for you. Where is the stake?"
Her heart ricochets against her ribcage, until her heartbeats are all she can hear in her ears. She glares hatefully at Sooyoung, all that brimming respect and awe of the Overblade's most loyal lieutenant disappearing in an instant, and tries to think of a way out of this. She's gotten out of more scraps than she can count - this can't be where her luck runs out.
She can't tell Sooyoung the stake is with Jinsol - she can't put Jungeun in danger like that, not when Jungeun is still a hunter. This is a battle she has to fight alone, and really alone, because Chaewon and Hyunjin will not get her out of this.
Hyunjin. She tightens her grip on her dagger. She has to do this for Hyunjin, because she has saved Heejin too many times.
Hyunjin sits up, looking woozy and nauseated, and Heejin's heart pangs. She retches again and reels away to throw up - Heejin sees the gold liquid trickling from her lips.
"I just don't understand," Sooyoung mutters, "Why would you do it? Because you've fallen in love with a vampire? After everything you've lost? After what happened to your parents?"
Her voice is mournful instead of malicious, and it startles Heejin enough to break out of her reverie. Sooyoung gives her a long, disappointed look, and says, "I saw you as my protégé."
"Please," Heejin croaks out, watching from the corner of her eye Hyunjin try to stand.
"I'm sorry, Heejin," Sooyoung says grimly, "I can't let this slip between my fingers."
She turns around, "Not while she's defenseless."
The next moments happen like this: A loud honk sounds from the front yard. Heejin tears her eyes away from Sooyoung and from the very real prospect of imminent death for a moment, rubs roughly at her eyes to make sure she's not seeing things.
Sitting at the end of the driveway, parked precariously close to the daffodil patch, is a shiny red pickup. Heejin thinks she catches sight of a figure sprinting away from the open driver's door, but she doesn't have to look that far to know who sent this car, if the gaudy way the custom fenders form a J shape are any indication.
She laughs, really laughs, smiles until her cheeks hurt, head spinning. And then Sooyoung is stalking towards her with those mournful eyes, mouth resolutely shut, and Heejin tears her eyes away from the truck.
Hyunjin gets to her feet and clobbers Sooyoung in the back of the head - with what looks like subpar strength, if the fact that she just got poisoned is anything to go by. True to form, Sooyoung sets her jaw and slides a throwing knife out from under her jacket.
Heejin's head is spinning too much to think of the danger that is Sooyoung. Jungeun didn't send a message, but the intent behind her gift is clear. This is the present Jinsol was talking about - this is their way out. So she ducks Sooyoung's attack, shoves her hard into the wall, and screams at Hyunjin to run.
Heejin gets to the car first, and she looks back, blissfully happy, half because she's gotten away from Sooyoung, and half because this is the first time she's beat Hyunjin in a dead sprint (and trust her, they've done this before. It's always ended with Heejin sulking and Hyunjin boasting of her superior vampiric powers).
Hyunjin is in the passenger seat and swinging the door closed when the arrow buries itself in her chest, Sooyoung glaring triumphantly as she gasps and collapses into the seat.
-
They drive for what seems like hours, Hyunjin spluttering in her unconscious state as Heejin screeches the truck away from the house. She can hear Sooyoung getting into her car behind them, but she knows Sooyoung will not track them down - Heejin knows these streets too well. It might just be the only bit of leverage she has over Sooyoung now.
It takes a while to get used to the controls of the car, what with half of Heejin's mind preoccupied on making sure she's losing Sooyoung and the other half terrified of what may happen to Hyunjin, but she does it somehow. They pull into a secluded parking lot, the lights shrouding more than illuminating, and she shoots a look over at Hyunjin, heart hammering in her chest, almost too afraid to look.
Hyunjin is deathly pale, and her breaths are short and shallow, eyes fluttering open periodically to fixate on nothing in particular.
"No," Heejin whispers, the word coming out as a sob. "No, you're going to be alright."
"Heejin," Hyunjin chokes out, "I-"
"No," Heejin repeats, more forcefully this time, and clambers into the back seat, looking listlessly for the first-aid kit she's sure Jungeun would have included. A hidden compartment springs open as she runs her hands over the leather seats, revealing a whole host of vials and first-aid implements. Her eyes go over test tubes full of glowing antidotes for vampire bites, bandages, iodine, and she lets out a shaky breath as she gathers most of them into her arms.
Moving back to the front, she lowers Hyunjin's seat gently, wincing when Hyunjin splutters and coughs up a splatter of blood directly into her face. (For some reason, up to this moment, Heejin wasn't sure Hyunjin even had blood.)
"Heejin," Hyunjin moans out again, "Get it out of me."
She runs a nervous eye over the scene in front of her. She knows Hyunjin can heal herself just fine, but with Sooyoung's poison coursing through her veins, she's not too sure of that magical healing factor right now. This means she'll have to take it into her own hands. And as she lays her hands on the fletching of the arrow, all she can think about is how she could press down harder, kill Hyunjin for good this time, and how it would kill Heejin herself to do it. Her head spins when she thinks about it too much, and so she decides not to.
Hyunjin screams when Heejin starts pulling the arrow out, hands clawing at the sides of the seat and nails leaving deep gouges in the leather. She urges Heejin to continue, though, and Heejin sees the wound begin to close up, that vampiric healing factor slowly but surely kicking back in.
"Do it," she growls at Heejin, the words animalistic and wounded, "Just do it, before I-"
Heejin interrupts that train of thought by pulling it out further, and she bites down on her own hand to muffle her scream.
Heejin's dealt with her fair share of wounds in the past, like when Chaewon got impaled by a werewolf's nails and had to get stitches in her abdomen. (It's the one thing Chaewon still won't talk about.) She should be used to this sort of thing, but somehow, it feels worse when it's Hyunjin, someone who she was depending on to never be hurt, lying underneath her like this.
The ghost of the words I'm sorry flutter past her lips as she pulls the arrowhead out, the wound gaping at her, blood oozing slowly out, much slower than it would in a human, but concerning nonetheless. Hyunjin must think that the screaming bothers Heejin - either that or her senses are coming back to her now that the arrow's out of her - because she quietens down after a while, breathing still ragged. She's pale as all hell, and her eyes keep losing focus, so Heejin keeps up a steady mutter as she works, blood smearing over her hands as she rinses the wound the best she can. The wound is so deep, but she has to try.
She sits back after a while, when Hyunjin no longer struggles to keep her eyes open as much as she had in the start, and stares at the wound. It's closing up fast, but Hyunjin can still barely breathe. She's still frighteningly pale, fangs still sprouted and lips parted with words she can't speak.
Heejin's shoulder aches again, with that memory again, and her heart falls into a resolute march once more.
She guides Hyunjin into the back seat, pulling her gently from the passenger seat and setting her down in the back, and whispers to her, "Take from me."
Hyunjin is never gentle. Not unless it's with Heejin.
Distantly, as Hyunjin feeds from her, as the strength fades from Heejin's body and pours back into Hyunjin's, Heejin knows she can only be sure of two things - that she has saved Hyunjin now, and that she is the reason Hyunjin breathes.
"Want to go to the blood bank?" Heejin suggests later. They're on the road again, and Heejin's neck bears two small holes, evidence of her devotion to Hyunjin now more than anything, but it feels like nothing has changed otherwise. That, and Hyunjin's in the driver's seat now.
Hyunjin grins, and revs the engine. It growls accordingly, and Heejin resists the urge to roll her eyes. Jungeun has always has a penchant for the dramatic. "Sure."
The trip to the blood bank may be an excuse to see Haseul for the last time on Hyunjin's part, but Heejin spends the ride looking out of the window, eyes tracing over every building in this city. The rose pasta place Hyunjin likes so much. The Museum of Weapons, in all its hulking glory. The bank (and by God is Heejin relieved that they're not coming back here), with their collections officers and angry bankers threatening to repossess Heejin. Distantly, she's aware that they could repossess her house, and it would mean nothing to her.
She wonders how they will build a new life. Hyunjin has that portfolio of hers, and has promised to liquidate enough so they live well, but that's still only the tangible parts of life accounted for. There is something more nebulous they must forge together.
Together. That's all that matters, does it? She looks over at Hyunjin, leaning over the steering wheel and yelling some 1800s swear words (which, while not sounding very serious, were apparently punishable by death for uttering back then) at a car in front of them, and thinks: What would I do without you?
She doesn't have to ever find out. She settles back into her seat, smiling. They should go look for Jiwoo before they leave for good, though Heejin's half-sure Jiwoo already knows exactly what's going on. She's omniscient like that.
She's right. As it turns out, they don't have to look for Jiwoo, because they find her pressing Haseul up against the wall of the back room, kissing her fervently and thoroughly horrifying both Heejin and Hyunjin.
"Christ!" Hyunjin yells (Heejin crosses herself), "Since when have the two of you-"
Heejin finally pulls Jiwoo off a blushing Haseul, and fixes both of them with a stern look. Or she would, except she can't look into Haseul's swirling eyes for too long. (Last she heard, Haseul hypnotized a right-wing politician into giving his bone marrow. His bone marrow's serving a much nobler cause now than keeping him alive.)
"Jiwoo," she says as sternly as she can manage, "I expected better from you."
"Did you?" Jiwoo laughs, running into Heejin's outstretched arms for a hug.
Heejin has to blink tears away again, fight back that creeping sensation and intrusive suggestion that she doesn't deserve to be treated with such kindness from everyone in her life. Her shoulder aches when Jiwoo squeezes a little too hard, and she yelps, causing Jiwoo to let her go.
"Haseul and I, ah," Jiwoo grins, "Have become romantically entangled."
"Physically, too," Hyunjin grumbles.
"What do you want, Hyunjin?" Haseul sighs, running a hand through her hair in a futile attempt to comb it down. "We were busy , so if this isn't about you running away then-"
Haseul grins a smile that has much too many teeth when Hyunjin's mouth opens and closes. "Of course I knew."
"Don't hug me."
"Wasn't going to."
They stare each other down with unconcealed hostility before breaking out into laughter.
And that's the end of it. Jiwoo gives Heejin a few pointers for the road ("Don't talk to the deer, they're hungry and they will overpower you, and oh, always carry mace!"), and Haseul gives Hyunjin an alarming number of blood bags to tide her over.
"Thank you," Heejin says sincerely as they're leaving, taking one last look at the blood bank, at Haseul, and at Jiwoo, "I'll miss you."
"Oh, Heejin," Jiwoo grins, "Don't you know I'll always find you again?"
-
And at the end of the day, as they pull away from everything they have ever known for the past year and a half, Heejin thinks to herself that--
The hunterdom faces a war they cannot possibly win, at least, not without copious loss. Their leaders will bring them to extinction - and if not that, then to the brink of it. Heejin is not done losing friends. She stands to lose more, and it tears her from the inside out. Yet she knows this is no longer her battle. She must stand aside, and alone.
Not quite alone, though. She will stand with Hyunjin at her side, waiting for her, and spend the next decade with her. And the next, and the next, each of them passing faster and faster, until the turn of the years outpaces the beats of Heejin's own heart.
It won't be easy. Sooyoung will send people after them with all she's got, chase them to the ends of the Earth, execute every plan Kahei throws at her, and make their lives as difficult as possible to live.
But they'll survive - this much, Heejin knows. And then, they will run.
To the grave, and then beyond.