Chapter Text
Pomni saw everything Jax needed her to see.
She saw the fight between him and Ribbit. The shouting. The hurt. The things neither of them could take back.
She saw things about Jax that left her confused. What exactly was Jax? Was he transgender? Non binary? Or did he simply enjoy feminine things? In the end, Pomni realized it did not matter. Jax was Jax.
Then she saw the real Jax.
Not the sarcastic troublemaker who annoyed everyone. Not the guy who hid behind jokes and smirks.
The real Jax.
The scared, lonely person beneath it all.
The person who truly believed they were unworthy of love, friendship, or happiness.
Pomni disagreed with every word.
Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.
For a moment, Jax froze.
Then, for the first time since she had known him, he hugged her back.
Pomni felt his arms tighten around her as though he was afraid she would disappear.
"I don't wanna go," Jax whispered.
The words hit harder than anything else she had seen.
Before she could respond, a brilliant light engulfed them.
Everything vanished.
Pomni's vision turned white.
There was nothing.
No Circus.
No Jax.
No sound.
Just an endless sea of white.
Time seemed to lose all meaning.
Then she heard a voice.
"Abigail?"
Pomni frowned.
Who's Abigail?
The voice sounded distant, almost like it was coming through water.
"Abigail?"
Wait.
Is that my name?
The realization struck her like lightning.
Suddenly, her eyes flew open.
Bright lights burned her vision.
A woman was standing over her bed.
Tears streamed down her face.
"Abigail!" the woman cried.
The woman let out a shaky laugh.
"Oh my God! She's awake!"
"Wha..."
Pomni tried to sit up, but a sharp pain shot through her head.
She winced and fell back against the pillow.
Machines surrounded her. Wires ran from her chest and arms. A monitor beside her beeped steadily.
Her mouth felt dry.
"Where am I?" she asked weakly.
The woman's expression softened.
"Oh, Abigail."
She gently took Pomni's hand.
"What do you remember?"
Before Pomni could answer, another woman entered the room carrying a clipboard.
The woman beside Pomni immediately frowned.
"Do you need to be here right now?"
"We need to ask her a few questions," the newcomer replied.
"Now?"
"Yes, now."
The second woman stepped closer to the bed.
"Hello, Abigail."
"Hello?" Pomni answered uncertainly.
The woman glanced down at her notes.
"Can you tell me what you remember?"
"Um..."
Pomni struggled to think.
Her memories felt tangled together.
The woman gave her a reassuring smile.
"Don't worry. We won't think you're crazy if you tell us you were trapped in a game."
Pomni blinked.
"What?"
The woman exchanged a glance with the older woman beside the bed.
"All we know is that an old Creative AI went rogue and trapped you and several others inside a digital environment."
Pomni stared at her.
The woman continued.
"We still don't know exactly how or why it happened. Right now, researchers are studying both the AI and the digital world it created."
Pomni's heart began to race.
So it was real.
All of it.
The Circus.
The adventures.
The fear.
Jax.
None of it had been a dream.
"What do you remember?" the woman asked again.
Pomni swallowed.
"Well... I guess my name is Abigail."
The woman with the clipboard looked surprised.
"You don't remember your own name?"
Pomni shook her head.
The older woman squeezed her hand.
"Do you remember who I am?"
Pomni looked at her carefully.
The woman seemed familiar, but not in the way the Circus felt familiar.
It was deeper than that.
Warmer.
Safer.
"No," Pomni admitted. "But being around you feels... familiar. Safe."
The woman immediately began crying again.
Pomni felt guilty, though she wasn't sure why.
"What do you remember?" the woman with the clipboard asked.
Pomni took a slow breath.
"I remember putting on a headset."
The two women leaned forward.
"And then I appeared in a digital circus with five other people."
The woman with the clipboard quickly wrote something down.
"So you were together?"
"Yes."
The woman looked genuinely surprised.
"We thought all of you might have been isolated from one another."
Pomni shook her head.
"No. We lived together."
The woman paused.
"Wait. You said five other people?"
Pomni nodded.
"There are more than six people in the hospital because of this incident."
Pomni's stomach tightened.
"There were others before me."
The room grew quiet.
"What happened to them?" the older woman asked.
Pomni looked down at the blanket covering her legs.
"They abstracted."
The two women exchanged confused looks.
"Abstracted?" the woman with the clipboard repeated.
Pomni hesitated.
Now that she was saying it out loud, it sounded ridiculous.
"They went insane," she explained softly. "They turned into giant black blobs with lots of eyes. They attacked people."
The woman stopped writing.
Pomni rubbed her arm nervously.
"But... they weren't completely gone."
"What do you mean?" the older woman asked.
Pomni remembered Kaufmo.
Remembered the cellar.
Remembered the darkness.
"They were calmer when they were left alone in the dark."
The room fell silent.
Nobody knew how to respond to that.
Then the door suddenly opened.
A man rushed into the room, breathing heavily.
He looked directly at the woman with the clipboard.
"Two more patients just woke up."
Pomni's heart skipped a beat.
Two more.
Please be them.
Please.
"Can I see them?" Pomni asked, suddenly restless.
The thought of the others being awake filled her with nervous energy. She wanted to know who had made it back. She wanted proof that the people she cared about were real.
"Not yet," the woman with the clipboard replied.
Before Pomni could protest, the woman turned and left the room.
Silence settled over the space.
"Abigail..." the woman beside her said softly.
Pomni stared at her for a moment.
Then it hit her.
The familiar voice.
The familiar face.
The warmth she felt when the woman held her hand.
"Wait..." Pomni whispered.
The woman looked up hopefully.
"Mom?"
The woman immediately burst into tears.
In an instant she wrapped her arms around Pomni, pulling her into a careful hug.
Pomni hugged her back just as tightly.
Tears streamed down both of their faces.
For the first time since waking up, everything felt real.
Not the Circus.
Not the adventures.
Not the nightmares.
This.
Her mother.
When they finally pulled apart, neither of them could stop crying.
"I'm sorry," her mother laughed through her tears.
Pomni laughed weakly too.
"Me too."
A little while later, after both of them had calmed down, her mother introduced herself properly.
Her name was Christine.
Then came what felt like a hundred questions.
"If you didn't remember your name, what did they call you?" Christine asked.
"Pomni."
"Pomni?" her mother repeated.
"Yeah."
Christine smiled.
"That's certainly different."
Pomni couldn't help smiling back.
"It wasn't my choice."
"What was it like?" Christine asked quietly.
Pomni's smile faded.
How was she supposed to explain years of fear, confusion, and desperation?
"It was weird," she finally said.
She stared down at the blanket covering her legs.
"Every day we went on adventures."
"Adventures?"
Pomni nodded.
"That was how the AI kept us sane. If we stopped having things to do, people started losing it."
She swallowed.
"We had to keep moving. Keep distracting ourselves."
Christine's face fell.
"To keep us from abstracting."
The room grew quiet.
"Oh, Abigail."
Her mother gently brushed some hair away from her face.
"I'm just glad you're alright."
Pomni looked away.
"I hope the others are ok."
Before Christine could respond, a loud voice echoed somewhere down the hallway.
"WHERE ARE MY KIDS?!"
Pomni's eyes widened.
She knew that voice.
A smile immediately spread across her face.
"I know that voice."
The shouting continued.
"Sir, please slow down!"
"Where are they?!"
"Dad?" Pomni yelled.
Several people in the hallway went quiet.
Then came another shout.
"Pomni?!"
The voice was getting closer.
A nurse sounded completely exhausted.
"Sir! Sir! You can't just get out of bed like that!"
"Pomni?!"
A few seconds later, a middle aged man appeared in the doorway.
His hospital gown was slightly crooked and he looked like he had practically sprinted down the hall.
"Pomni?!" he asked again.
"Kinger!"
Pomni immediately tried to sit up.
"Abigail, please stay in bed," Christine said.
Neither Pomni nor Kinger seemed to hear her.
A hospital employee finally caught up to Kinger, breathing heavily.
The man looked seconds away from giving up.
Instead of responding, Kinger stared at Pomni.
Relief flooded his face.
His eyes were watery.
Pomni had never seen him look so worried.
"I'm alright, Dad," she said softly.
Kinger let out a shaky breath.
"Glad to hear it."
He wiped at his eyes.
"I hope all my kids are ok."
Pomni smiled.
"Me too."
For a moment neither of them spoke.
The reality of the situation hung in the air.
They had actually made it back.
Then Pomni looked toward the employee standing behind Kinger.
"Who else woke up?"
The man checked a tablet in his hands.
"Someone claiming to be named Ribbit."
Pomni froze.
"Ribbit woke up?"
The man nodded.
Christine looked confused.
"Is she a friend of yours?"
Pomni hesitated.
"Not really."
She rubbed the back of her neck.
"She abstracted before I arrived."
"Oh." Christine said.
Pomni's thoughts immediately turned to everything she had seen in Jax's mind.
The fight.
The guilt.
The regret.
The things Jax never said out loud.
"I need to talk to her," Pomni said.
"About... Jax."
Kinger's expression changed instantly.
The concern on his face deepened.
"Did you get through to him?"
Pomni smiled softly.
A small, bittersweet smile.
"I did."
Kinger waited.
"He hugged me."
Kinger's eyes widened.
"Whoa. Really?"
"Yeah."
Even now it felt impossible.
Jax had hugged her back.
Not because he was forced to.
Not because he was scared.
Because he wanted to.
"I need to tell Ribbit how sorry he is."
Kinger nodded slowly.
Something clicked behind his eyes.
"You two know something about him that the rest of us don't, don't you?"
Pomni laughed quietly.
"Smart as always, Kinger."
Kinger grinned.
"Or as smart as I've been for the last few weeks."
"You're smart too, Pomni."
His smile softened.
"Getting through to Jax couldn't have been easy."
Pomni looked down at her hands.
"No."
She remembered the tears.
The loneliness.
The self hatred.
The fear.
"It wasn't."
Kinger waited patiently.
"I hope everyone's ok," Pomni said.
Then she frowned.
"There is something I learned that everyone should know."
"What is it?"
Pomni hesitated.
Part of her hated sharing anything about Jax.
It felt wrong.
But this was important.
"Jax gets panic attacks."
Kinger's expression immediately grew serious.
Pomni continued.
"He hides them really well, but he gets them."
She looked toward the window.
"I don't think he's going to handle the real world very well either."
"What makes you say that?"
Pomni thought about everything she had seen.
The memories.
The pain.
The way Jax talked about himself.
"Something happened to him before all of this."
She lowered her gaze.
"Something bad."
Kinger nodded slowly.
"Then we make sure he isn't alone."
Pomni looked back at him.
"If he wakes up."
"When he wakes up," Kinger corrected gently.
The confidence in his voice caught her off guard.
"We'll be there for him."
Pomni wanted to believe that.
She really did.
A nurse finally stepped forward.
"Alright, sir. Back to your room."
Kinger sighed dramatically.
"They're treating me like I'm forty eight."
Pomni laughed despite herself.
"You are forty eight."
Kinger pointed at her.
"That's not the point."
A few moments later he allowed himself to be escorted away.
Before disappearing through the doorway, he looked back one last time.
"Hang in there, kiddo."
"You too."
Then he was gone.
The room suddenly felt much quieter.
Pomni stared at the doorway long after he had left.
Ribbit was awake.
Kinger was awake.
People were coming back.
Which only made one question hurt even more.
Where was Jax?
"Sweetie?" Christine asked gently. "Who is Jax?"
Pomni froze.
That should have been an easy question.
Instead, she found herself staring at the blanket covering her lap.
"My..." she began.
Her face grew warm.
"My, um... friend?"
Christine looked unconvinced.
"You don't know what he is to you?"
Pomni groaned.
"It's complicated."
"Oh?" Christine asked with a knowing smile. "Is he your boyfriend?"
"I don't know."
The answer came out faster than Pomni expected.
Christine blinked.
"You don't know?"
Pomni buried her face in her hands.
"He's complicated, so our relationship is complicated."
She lowered her hands and sighed.
"I don't even know if we're friends."
Christine looked even more confused.
"Do you want to be his friend?"
"Yes."
The answer was immediate.
There was no hesitation.
"He's actually really cool once you get past all the self sabotaging behavior."
Christine tilted her head.
Pomni noticed the confusion on her face.
"He's kind of an ass," Pomni admitted.
Christine laughed.
"But he's also the definition of 'hurt people hurt people.'"
The laughter faded from Christine's face.
"Oh."
Pomni stared out the window.
"I just learned a lot of really personal stuff about him."
Images flashed through her mind.
The tears.
The fear.
The loneliness.
The way he had clung to her during their hug.
The way he had quietly admitted he did not want to go.
"I just want him to be ok."
Christine's expression softened.
Pomni swallowed.
"I want everyone to be ok."
Her voice became quieter.
"But I'm worried about his adjustment more than anyone else's."
She thought about waking up in an unfamiliar world.
New people.
Old memories.
Old trauma.
Jax was already struggling before the Circus.
What would happen when he woke up and had to face everything again?
Christine squeezed her hand.
Pomni appreciated the gesture, but it did little to ease the knot in her stomach.
A little while later, several nurses entered the room.
They checked her vitals, tested her reflexes, and asked a few more questions.
To Pomni's relief, everything looked good.
Eventually, one of the nurses smiled.
"Looks like you're doing well. You're cleared to get up and walk around for short periods."
Pomni sat up immediately.
"I need to talk to Ribbit."
"I'll come with you," Christine said.
"Alone."
Christine's smile faltered.
"Abigail..."
"I'll be fine."
Her mother visibly gulped.
Every protective instinct in her body seemed to be screaming at her not to let her daughter out of sight.
Reluctantly, she nodded.
"Alright."
A few minutes later, Pomni was carefully walking down the hallway.
The hospital felt strange.
Everything was bright.
Everything smelled sterile.
People passed by carrying clipboards and equipment.
It felt more unreal than the Circus.
At least the Circus had become familiar.
This place was entirely new.
After asking a staff member for directions, she was pointed toward a room farther down the hall.
"Thank you."
The employee smiled and continued on their way.
Pomni stopped outside the room.
Taking a deep breath, she knocked lightly against the door frame.
The woman sitting inside looked up.
For a moment they simply stared at one another.
"Who are you?" the woman asked.
Pomni stepped into the room.
"I'm Pomni."
She hesitated.
"Or Abigail, apparently."
The woman frowned.
"I came to the Circus after you abstracted."
Understanding flashed across her face.
"Samantha," she said quietly.
Pomni blinked.
"What?"
"My real name."
A small smile appeared.
"Apparently I'm Samantha."
Pomni smiled back.
It felt strange hearing everyone's real names.
"Why are you here then?" Ribbit asked.
Pomni's expression became serious.
"Jax."
The reaction was immediate.
Ribbit sat upright.
"Is he ok?!"
Pomni's stomach twisted.
"He abstracted."
The color drained from Ribbit’s face.
"No..."
"I went into his mind to try and help him."
Ribbit stared at her.
"You what?"
Pomni slowly stepped farther into the room.
"I saw your conversation."
Ribbit froze.
"The one about his life."
Her eyes widened.
"He let you see that?"
Pomni nodded.
The room fell silent.
"I wanted to talk to you about how sorry he is."
Almost immediately, tears filled Ribbit’s eyes.
Pomni continued before she could stop her.
"He was scared."
The tears spilled over.
"He pushed you away because he was scared."
Pomni sat down in a nearby chair.
"He tried to push all of us away."
Ribbit wiped at her eyes.
"Why would he tell you this?"
Pomni looked down.
The answer felt embarrassing when spoken aloud.
"I guess..."
She rubbed the back of her neck.
"I wouldn't back down."
Ribbit listened quietly.
"I showed him I wasn't going anywhere."
Pomni smiled sadly.
"I wasn't going to let him push me away."
She remembered every second of it.
The walls he built.
The excuses.
The attempts to make her leave.
"I was always going to be there for him."
Her smile softened.
"And eventually he just... broke down."
Ribbit started crying harder.
"I wish I would've done that."
"You tried," Pomni said gently.
"I saw."
Ribbit shook her head.
"Then why didn't it work?"
Pomni thought for a moment.
"I don't know."
Maybe timing.
Maybe fear.
Maybe years of pain.
"Maybe he just wasn't ready."
Before Ribbit could respond, another voice spoke from the doorway.
"Pomni? Ribbit?"
Both women looked up.
They instantly recognized the voice.
"Ragatha?" they said together.
Standing in the doorway was a woman in her early thirties with bright red hair and familiar blue eyes.
The moment Pomni saw her, she rushed forward and wrapped her in a hug.
Ragatha hugged her back.
For a second, it felt like being back at the Circus.
Only this time they were real.
"Good to see you too," Ragatha laughed.
Pomni finally pulled away.
"Were you able to get through to Jax?" Ragatha asked.
Pomni nodded.
"Yes."
Relief washed over Ragatha's face.
"Kinger told me you said Jax has panic attacks."
Pomni nodded again.
"He also said something bad happened before all of this."
Ragatha's expression became concerned.
"Something that's going to make adjusting difficult when he wakes up."
Ribbit immediately crossed her arms.
"You told them?"
Pomni shook her head.
"I didn't tell them what happened."
Ribbit relaxed slightly.
"I told them something happened."
Pomni's voice grew firm.
"But that's all."
She looked between them.
"If Jax wants people to know the details, that's his choice."
Both women nodded.
"I just want everyone to be aware of his mental state when he wakes up."
"Oh."
Ribbit looked relieved.
"Ok, I guess."
The mood lightened a little.
Ragatha smiled.
"So, what's everyone's real names?"
"Samantha," Ribbit answered.
Pomni still found it weird hearing that name.
"I'm Abigail."
Ragatha grinned.
"Amanda."
Pomni smiled.
"Nice to officially meet you, Amanda."
Ragatha laughed.
"And I just found out Kinger's real name is Sean."
"No way."
"Way."
Pomni chuckled.
"That's actually perfect."
Ragatha's smile widened.
"And guess what?"
"What?"
"Kinger's wife is awake."
Pomni's eyes lit up.
"Really?"
Ragatha nodded.
"So are Zooble, Kaufmo, and Gangle."
A wave of relief washed over Pomni.
"Good for Kinger."
Then another thought struck her.
Her smile slowly disappeared.
"But Jax isn't awake yet?"
The room became quiet.
Ragatha's expression fell.
"No."
Pomni looked away.
"I think everyone except Jax is awake."
The words hit harder than she expected.
For several seconds, nobody spoke.
Then Pomni forced herself to smile.
"That should narrow down who he is, shouldn't it?"
Neither Ragatha nor Ribbit returned the smile.
Finally, Ribbit climbed out of bed.
"Come on, Pomni."
Pomni looked up.
"Let's go check on him."
Hope flickered inside her chest.
Even if he wasn't awake.
Even if he couldn't hear them.
They could still be there.
Just like she had promised.
Ragatha stepped aside and gestured toward the hallway.
"I'll leave you two alone."
She smiled softly.
"I'm pretty sure you were talking before I interrupted."
"Yeah," Ribbit said.
"We still have a few things to talk about."
Pomni nodded.
"We'll catch up with everyone else later."
"Alright."
Ragatha gave them both one last smile.
Then she headed back down the hallway.
A few moments later, Pomni and Ribbit stepped out of the room together.
Both moving toward the same destination.
Toward the one person who had not come back yet.
Jax.