Archive of Our Own

Majima was losing his everlovin’ shit. It wasn’t every day you woke up with a fuck load of new limbs, but apparently today was one of those days.

Fresh outta bed with a sexy Kiryu dream-induced boner, before he’d even taken his morning piss, and suddenly he’d sprouted a bunch of tentacles like he was in one of those hentai that Minami got all hard up over. Four of ‘em, growing from right below his shoulder blades, like he was a bonafide Spider-Man villain.

And like any sane, rational person, Majima had absolutely flipped his lid and ran his ass over to the family office as fast as he could. He covered up in the biggest sweatshirt he had (which sure, maybe he’d swiped it from Kiryu-chan, but he was a criminal and stealing counted as a crime so everyone could shut up about it) and tried to ignore all the wriggling as he fuckin’ bolted.

Majima burst right through the door, hooked his arm around Nishida’s neck, and dragged him, chair and all, right into his office.

‘Cause Nishida would sort it out. It was his job to figure Majima’s shit out. That was, like, his whole deal.

“Nishida, what in the fuck am I supposed to do about this?!” Majima screeched as he tried to wrestle his way out of the sweatshirt.

Nishida, all doubled over in his chair and taking deep, gasping breaths for some reason, was not paying close attention to him quite yet.

“Nishida!” Majima repeated, just as he finally managed to escape the sweatshirt.

And then his tentacles were free, and they were all wiggling up in the air like an army of those inflatable tube guys he’d seen outside Smile Burger one time.

Nishida finally looked at him, and all the color seemed to drain right out of his face.

“Oh god, I’m hideous!” groaned Majima. “You can’t even look at me! All my good looks, snatched away just like that!” One of his tentacles patted him on the head, like it was trying to comfort him or some shit.

“N-no, oyaji! No! Those are very fetching… tentacles? Very fetching tentacles you have!” chirped Nishida as he slowly rolled his chair backwards.

“Yeah, maybe if yer a freak like Minami! Ya can’t look at me and tell me with a straight face that this isn’t the worst, Nishida! A fuckin’ disaster! How am I supposed to walk around, tiddies floatin’ in the breeze, if I got all these extra things noodlin’ around, huh?”

“M-maybe we need to go see Dr. Emoto,” said Nishda.

Majima gripped the arms of Nishida’s chair and rolled it back and forth roughly. “Are you outta yer fuckin’ mind?”

Nishida flopped limply, this way and that, but Majima was pretty sure he was shaking his head.

“They’d cart me away, Nishida! Off to the super secret alien base, and they’d cut all my secrets out! I’d be Majima-sashimi and they’d know everything! I got very sensitive information locked up in here, Nishida!”

Nishda frowned, “I wouldn’t call your Garbage Pail Kid card collection sensi-”

“Shut up! No doctors!”

Nishida was looking a little green around the gills, which was kinda rude of him considering Majima’s current aquatic predicament.

“Okay, okay, sorry, oyaji! We don’t have to go see him! We can figure something else out!”

“Like what!?”

~*~*~

Majima was starting to think Nishida might not be qualified to help him figure his shit out.

Because people on the street were laughing at him.

And he wasn’t even doing anything particularly hilarious. He was just minding his business, walking down the street and looking for a good fight. His tentacles were so perfectly camouflaged, nobody would suspect he was actually some kinda freaky monster!

Except people were laughing at him, hiding their mouths behind their hands as they walked by, and what the fuck was that all about?

He stood in front of the window of Smile Burger and gave his reflection a once-over.

His tentacles were safely tucked away, strapped down to his back under several strips of tape that wound all the way around his chest.

And to keep all the suspicion off, because it would be weird to be walking around all covered in duct tape, he’d donned a shirt on top with fake muscles printed on it. Nishida had even painted it up with his irezumi to make it look convincing!

So that couldn’t have been it. He turned around to look at his back – maybe some brave idiot had pinned a kick me sign on him. But nope, no dice.

Weird.

But he hadn’t made it this far without growing some thick skin, so with a shrug, he turned down Nakamichi Alley.

And maybe he was the luckiest guy in the whole world, because he stumbled upon Kiryu-chan having a fight.

The goons were in his way, so he punched one in the throat and kicked another in the nards, and then Kiryu was all his.

Majima squared up and cackled. “Kiryu-chan, funny I’d run into ya here!”

But Kiryu was not getting ready to punch him across town, which didn’t make any sense at all. He was just standing there, arms by his side and looking at Majima with a dumb frown on his face, his brows all pinched together like he was thinking really hard.

Majima frowned. He lifted his arm and took a whiff – nope, fresh as a daisy, so that wasn’t it. He ran a hand across his face in case he had any paint on it (‘cause maybe he was a little impatient and left the office before his shirt dried), but his hand came away clean.

“What’s the deal? Where’s my hello punch?” Majima finally asked when it was clear Kiryu wasn’t going to say anything.

“Nii-san…” Kiryu said but did not elaborate. Kiryu was looking at his stomach.

Majima slapped his perfect fake abs. “Been workin’ out. Like what you see?”

“I don’t know how to answer that question,” said Kiryu.

Majima cackled. “I knew it! I knew ya had the hots for me, Kiryu-chan!”

Kiryu glared, and Majima was gleeful about it. “That’s not what I said!”

Majima squinted. “Mmm, pretty sure that’s what you said.”

“It was not!”

Majima sighed. “Kiryu-chan, I know I’m a smokin’ hot babe, but it’s not polite to go all googly-eyed. I’m more than my hot bod, ya know? I got layers.”

And that did the trick. Kiryu reeled his arm back, and even though Majima saw it coming from 84 miles away, he bodied that first punch to the stomach like it was a breath of fresh air.

Their fight didn’t last long.

Majima’s center of gravity was all fucked up with the extra weight on his back, and his reactions were slower as he tried to find a stance that worked for him.

Kiryu didn’t give him a chance, and just a few minutes later, Majima was flat on his back on the pavement. There was blood running out of his nose and his vision was kinda blurry, but damn if he didn’t feel like a million bucks.

Kiryu held his hand out to help Majima up.

“You’re being weird,” said Kiryu as he pulled Majima to his feet.

“Did ya know bullying someone means ya have a big fat crush?” asked Majima.

Kiryu ignored him, and they fell into step next to each other on their way to their usual post-fight bowl of ramen.

But Majima felt a wriggle and jolted. One of his tentacles had apparently escaped containment and tickled his side as it tried to slip out the bottom of his shirt.

Majima let out an involuntary squeak, and Kiryu looked at him sharply. He scrutinized Majima’s face.

Which turned out to be a good thing, because he was so focused on Majima’s face that he failed to notice the tentacle hovering over his shoulder.

Majima’s tentacles seemed to have inherited some of his joie de vivre, and while Kiryu wasn’t paying attention, they decided to play one of the most elite pranks of all time.

His tentacle tapped Kiryu on the shoulder and then quickly retracted, hiding itself back under his shirt.

Kiryu looked over his shoulder with a glare.

And Majima really must have been the luckiest guy in town, because wouldn’t you know it, there was a goon walking right past him.

“Hey!” said Kiryu.

And then Majima had to join forces with Kiryu to fight a totally random, totally innocent goon just to cover his tracks.

He couldn’t stick around after. The wriggling under his shirt was getting more wild, and it was just a matter of time before they probably wrapped themselves around Kiryu-chan and squeezed him super hard.

So as soon as the goon was down, Majima needed to leave.

“Oops, think I left my curling iron on! Gotta go!” Majima said.

And then he was running.

~*~*~

“That was a shit plan, Nishida!” screeched Majima once he returned to the family office. He kicked the door to his office open and knew Nishida would follow.

“What happened?” Nishida asked, rushing in behind him and closing the door.

Majmia shrugged his jacket off and reached for the hem of his shirt. His tentacles helped pull it off the rest of the way.

Majima paused, his arms hanging stupidly by his sides. He felt kinda bad for them. What was the point of arms if his tentacles were just going to do his arm-related tasks? “Well, as you can see, these little shits have a mind of their own. They played a shoulder tap on Kiryu-chan! I narrowly avoided disaster!”

Nishida hummed. “That sounds like they have your mind.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t thinkin’ it at that second! I was too busy!”

“Too busy doing what?”

Dreaming about how drop dead gorg Kiryu-chan was when he was all sweaty fresh off a fight, Majima did not say. “Taxes!” he said instead, which was obviously the next best choice.

Nishida blinked. “I do your taxes.”

“And yer doin’ a shit job! That’s why I had to do ‘em again!”

Nishida nodded. “Right. So… the shirt didn’t fool anyone?”

Majima sighed. “It wasn’t the shirt. Apparently tape only holds ‘em down for so long.”

“Well,” said Nishida, trying his best to be cheerful. “At least we learned something!”

Majima rolled his eye and held his arms up. “Rip this shit off, Nishida. It’s chafin’ my nips.”

Majima’s tentacles rose into the air, mirror images of his arms.

And that shit hurt as Nishida started to peel it off his skin. Majima was in the middle of a particularly dramatic yowl when the door to his office burst open.

Nishida was all up in Majima’s armpit, trying to gingerly detach the tape from his pit hair. Majima still had his arms and tentacles up in the air like a fuckin’ toddler.

And Minami was freaking out. “Boss, emergency! We’re runnin’ outta Mountain Dew Livewire and word on the street is they’re gonna discontinu-”

He ran out of steam when he saw the goings on. He took in the scene with wide eyes, and his mouth fell open a little bit.

“Close the fuckin’ door, dumbass!” shrieked Majima.

Minami robotically reached behind himself to swing the door shut, but he did not take his eyes off of Majima.

Or more accurately, he did not take his eyes off the tentacles hanging over Majima’s head.

Majima groaned. “What am I, a piece of meat? Close yer mouth!”

Minami’s mouth snapped closed. It was another moment before he spoke. “Oyaji, did you get some kinda plastic surgery?”

Majima sighed and pushed Nishida away. “Yeah, chose the freaky deluxe package and everything just cause I knew you’d get yer rocks off. No, ya dumbass! I did not get plastic surgery!”

“Then these are…” Minami tilted his head.

“Real tentacles! Certified fresh! Straight from the fuckin source!” Majima slapped himself on the back.

“Wow…” Minami breathed. “They’re beautiful, boss.”

Oh, well… if they were beautiful.

“Do ya think so?” Majima preened just a bit. His tentacles waved a flirty little toodle-loo.

“Yes! Definitely! Wow, this has gotta be the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Majima frowned. “Happened to you? Nothing’s happened to you! I’m the one out here with a case of the wriggles.”

Minami took a step closer, and Nishida, ever galant, angled himself between them. “Are they sensitive? In the movies, it’s like-”

“I do not wanna hear about yer cartoon pornos, Minami!”

Nishida gasped. “Oyaji, wait. What if we should hear about his cartoon pornos?”

Majima blinked at Nishida. What kind of ship was he running here? With a sigh, Majima rounded his desk and collapsed into his chair.

“I am kinda the expert on this kinda thing,” added Minami as he and Nishida sat in the chairs on the opposite side.

Which… wasn’t wrong.

“Fine! Fine, Minami. Tell the class all about your weird fish fetish.”

“Octopi aren’t fish,” said Nishida.

“I’m gonna burn this place to the ground,” said Majima.

Minami continued bravely. “Are they, like, extra sensitive? Kinda like your dick?”

Majima hadn’t really touched them. He was still wigged out, and when Nishida was strapping them down, he was mostly still panicking.

Majima reached out and one of his tentacles slithered up his arm and into his hand. He gave it a thoughtful stroke and then immediately shuddered, the feeling of his fingers against it going straight to his cock.

“Nishida, I can’t believe you touched my bonus cocks!” he shrieked.

Nishida paled. “You asked me to!”

“I’m callin’ HR!”

“I am HR!” Nishida said, shaking his head frantically.

A tentacle scrubbed itself over Majima’s face as he sighed. “Okay. Okay. Minami, in yer videos, how do they make ‘em go away?”

Minami frowned and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “Well, I dunno. It’s different every time. Sometimes they can just like… suck ‘em right back into their bodies and walk around all normal. Other times they’re just there forever. Sometimes they go away once someone gets off.”

Majima nodded and then clenched his fists. He yelled and tensed every muscle in his body, doing his best to activate whatever reflex he could to suck the tentacles back under his skin.

In response, they flailed wildly, knocking a bottle of booze off of Majima’s desk and slapping both Minami and Nishida across the face.

“Ow!” they both said before tumbling out of their chairs and huddling on the ground.

Nishida fell on top of Minami and shielded him, which Majima thought was kinda stupid, but far be it from him to try and find sense in what was shaping up to be the most nonsensical day of his life. If Nishida wanted to shield Minami with his soft, bruisable body instead of letting Minami take the hits, even though he was better at taking hits than anyone, that was fine.

Majima did his best to relax again, and after a few moments, his tentacles calmed down and rested themselves over the arms of his chair.

Nishida and Minami climbed back into their seats. Nishida watched him like he was a ticking time bomb. Minami just looked like he was about to pop a boner.

“Well, guess I dunno how to suck these puppies back in,” said Majima with a shrug.

But that got him thinking about the other method Minami mentioned. He’d not actually had the opportunity to get off since the whole tentacle debacle started… maybe Minami was onto something here.

He needed to get home and do an experiment.

He pushed his chair back and grabbed Kiryu’s sweatshirt from where he’d discarded it that morning. “I gotta go to a very important business meeting,” he said, fighting to get the tentacles under the fabric. “Don’t call me for the rest of the day.”

“There’s nothing on the calendar…” said Nishida, peering over the back of his chair like he was peeking out of the trenches.

“It’s not my problem if you can’t manage a simple calendar, Nishida!”

“Wow,” Minami breathed as Majima swept past him and flung the door open.

Majima spun around and pointed at him. “Do not get yer rocks off to me tonight!”

Minami saluted, his hand trembling. “I’ll do my best!”

~*~*~

The walk to his apartment was a nightmare.

Every few steps, one of his tentacles wiggled under Kiryu-chan’s sweatshirt impatiently like it was trying to get comfy all cooped up in the fabric. Or maybe it was trying to escape its prison to play a prank or do a crime? Who fuckin’ knew with these things?

Majima kept both hands jammed in the front pocket and glared at anyone who looked at him too long.

By the time he made it through his front door, he was pissed off at how insanely inconvenient this whole thing was. And kinda turned on, because once Minami had pointed it out, the way his tentacles wiggled against his body felt fucking good.

He kicked the door shut behind him and stood there in the quiet of his apartment as he caught his breath. The tentacles went still too.

Majima frowned down at himself. “Oh, so now ya behave?”

They seemed to tighten around him with a little squeeze of encouragement.

Majima sighed and stomped into the bedroom, shedding Kiryu’s sweatshirt as he went. As soon as the tentacles were free, they stretched out around him like they were just waking up from a nap. One curled up toward the ceiling. Another slithered over the dresser and knocked one of Goromi’s earrings to the floor.

“Hey!” Majima snapped. “No touchin’ my shit!”

The tentacle froze.

Majima stared at it.

It very slowly nudged the earring further under the dresser.

Majima threw both hands up. “Great! That’s just peachy. My back meat has a personality.”

This was stupid. This was all so stupid. But god dammit, he had scientific research to do. So he sat on the edge of his bed and unbuckled his belt.

He palmed himself through his pants before reaching for his zipper.

But this was all just… just awkward. Not the jerking off part. Majima was world class at that. He’d always had a real can-do attitude and plenty of practice wringin’ his cock out.

It was the audience. Majima wasn’t a stranger to putting on a little show, and he’d fantasized about fucking Kiryu in an alley enough times that the threat of eyes on him could really get his motor running.

But his tentacles didn’t have eyes, and they hovered around him like they were curious. Like they’d never seen his dick before, which sounded like bullshit considering they were attached to him and should have inherited some kind of basic personal history.

“Back up,” Majima hissed as he pulled his cock out.

They did not back up.

One curled loosely around his wrist and Majima’s whole body jolted at the sensation.

“Oh,” he breathed.

Well. That was something.

The tentacle tightened just a little, guiding his hand up his cock in a slow stroke. Heat punched through Majima so fast it knocked the air out of his lungs, and he collapsed back onto the mattress.

It crept past his wrist and snuck under Majima’s hand, taking over to tease Majima’s cock with another slow stroke.

It felt so fucking good. Good on his cock, and the friction against the tentacle itself felt good too, like some kind of freaky hand job feedback loop. His own want reflected back at him, slick and warm.

“Fuck,” Majima groaned, clenching at the sheets under him.

Another tentacle slid down his stomach, careful and exploratory. It swirled around his belly button, and Majima bit down on his lip because the sound that tried to come out of him was embarrassing as hell and absolutely nobody needed to hear it, not even his tentacles.

One of them got to work stripping his pants the rest of the way off his legs before it curled its way around his thigh and spread him out.

And Majima was panting now. They were still just teasing him, and they wrapped around him like they knew exactly where to touch. Which they probably did, Majima realized, as one of them slipped between his cheeks and started massaging over his hole. They could apparently lubricate themselves, and this one’s slick glide over his entrance stole his breath away.

God, it felt unreal. It felt so bizarre and so good, and he couldn’t hold the noises back, not anymore. He whined and squeezed his eyes shut.

And because his brain was a traitorous piece of shit, the image of Kiryu popped into his mind.

Kiryu’s dumb face, and his big hands, and the way his voice got all growly when he said “nii-san” during a good brawl. The star of almost all of Majima’s jerk off fantasies ever since their first fight, when Kiryu punched Majima so hard that he simultaneously broke a rib and popped a boner.

“No, ugh, shit,” said Majima, opening his eyes. Because it was a little bit painful, and not the fun kind, to get to do all this shit with Kiryu in his imagination but also have to deal with the reality that Kiryu would probably never want to suck his dick or hold his hand in real life.

And to his dismay, every tentacle stopped moving. Majima’s hips jerked up, trying to get the friction on his cock and his hole back, but his tentacles were ginormous bastards.

He thunked his head back against the mattress and forced himself not to scream. Fine, fine.

He closed his eyes again, and Kiryu was back. Kiryu pinning him to the ground and punching him in the face hard. Kiryu all sweaty and fucked up, holding out his hand to help Majima to his feet.

Something twisted deep in Majima’s chest. Stupid, kind, asshole fucking Kiryu-chan.

The tentacles started to move again, like these insane Kiryu-chan fantasies were exactly what they wanted.

“Fuck off,” Majima huffed. He wasn’t sure who he was talking to. The tentacles. His stupid brain. Kiryu, who wasn’t even there but still managed to fuck him up anyway.

But Majima let himself fantasize.

He let himself picture what it’d be like if Kiryu pulled him from the ground and slammed him into the wall. If instead of yelling, Kiryu put those sweet lips to use by pressing them to Majima’s own. How would Kiryu’s hands feel on his body not to hit him or grapple, but to pull him closer? What would his fingers feel like inside him? His cock?

It all happened so fast once he let it.

As Majima pictured exactly how Kiryu would take him apart, his tentacles played out the feeling on his body. The one on his cock gripped him tighter and began stroking him harder. The one massaging over his hole pressed in, just a little bit, and Majima cried out.

Another one crept over the side of his face and prodded at his lips, the image of Kiryu fucking into Majima’s mouth blasting to the forefront of his mind at the same time. Majima’s jaw dropped open, and he closed his lips around it and sucked.

His moan was muffled, and the vibration of it against the tentacle seemed to reverberate through his entire body. Majima liked the weight of it on his tongue, almost like it really was Kiryu’s cock in his mouth, velvety and wet with something slightly salty. Is that what Kiryu’s precum would taste like?

Heat was building in Majima’s core and his legs began to shake. It was too much. He was surrounded, filled, and each movement seemed to amplify over and over.

When one of them crept over his chest and tweaked his nipple, hard, it was over.

It was like an explosion went off, like his whole entire body was having an orgasm, white hot and so good it almost hurt. Kiryu’s name was muffled by the tentacle in his mouth.

And suddenly, the tentacles were gone. Majima was alone, panting on the mattress like he’d just run a marathon, all sticky and covered in his cum.

He lay there for a few seconds as he recovered. He’d never in his entire life jizzed so hard, and for just a moment he was a little sad that he’d probably never get himself off so thoroughly again.

But he had to check. So with a groan, he pushed himself to his feet and stood in front of the mirror. He twisted as far as he could, craning to see his back in the reflection.

They were gone.

He was cured!

Majima started laughing. It came out shaky at first, then louder, until he was cackling like a maniac with his dick out, all covered in his own jizz. He pressed a hand to his chest, the relief rolling through him so hard he was almost dizzy with it.

“Fuck you, science,” he screeched, throwing two middle fingers up to the ceiling like the concept of science itself was his upstairs neighbor.

The tentacles were gone, and the apartment was quiet.

Everything was normal again, thank god.

On his way to the bathroom to shower the entire weird day off his body, he caught sight of Kiryu’s sweatshirt on the ground.

He stared at it for a second. And then he kicked it under the couch.

“Nope,” he said, and went to wash fantasies of Kiryu-chan out of his hair.

~*~*~

Majima was not cured at all.

Which was a load of bullshit because he’d done the scientific research! He’d gathered all the data and made observations and came so hard that he briefly saw the face of god himself, and sure, he might have looked a little like Kiryu-chan, but still.

Everything was all fine and dandy, not a tentacle in sight.

Right up until the next time Kiryu punched him in the face, and Majima felt the telltale wriggle under his skin.

At first, he thought he was maybe just imagining it. After all, getting hit by Kiryu-chan always got his skin buzzing. But then Kiryu caught him by the front of his jacket and slammed him into the side of a parked car, and something hot and squirmy twisted just below Majima’s shoulder blades.

Majima froze.

Kiryu stopped mid-punch and stared at him. “Nii-san?”

Majima answered with a headbutt hard enough to put Kiryu on his ass.

And then he ran away.

It was probably the bravest thing he’d ever done.

But it was also pretty stupid, because running away from Kiryu-chan felt like a moral failure and was also kinda terrible for his reputation, but sometimes a guy had to make sacrifices so nobody would see the tentacles bursting out of his back like the world’s horniest jump scare.

He made it home, slammed the door, and ripped his jacket off.

“You fuckin’ assholes!” he yelled as he stumbled into his bedroom.

They did not seem sorry, not even when they wrung another mindblowing orgasm out of him before poofing out of existence.

The second time, he almost made it through the whole fight.

Kiryu had blood on his lip and that cute little wrinkle between his eyebrows, and Majima was having a grand old time. A totally normal, extremely heterosexual time with his favorite guy in the whole world.

But then Kiryu grabbed him by the waist to throw him, and the tentacles went absolutely batshit.

Majima squeaked. He fuckin’ squeaked. And Kiryu was so startled that he stopped moving.

“Leg cramp,” offered Majima with a panicked little shrug.

The wrinkle between Kiryu’s eyebrows got deeper and he frowned. “Are you serious?”

“Shut up, Kiryu-chan!” yelled Majima. And then he kicked Kiryu in the shin and ran away.

Again.

The third time was the worst, because Kiryu didn’t even hit him. He had sought Majima out himself and cornered him in a little alley in the Champion District.

And then he just looked at Majima, and from the expression on his face, Majima was pretty sure Kiryu was worried about him.

Majima felt the muscles in his back spasm.

“Nope,” Majima said, trying his best to step around Kiryu.

Kiryu caught him by the wrist before he could take two steps. “Nii-san.”

Majima looked down at Kiryu’s hand around his wrist. It was big and it was warm and it made his wrist look kinda tiny. Nice.

“Are you avoiding me?” Kiryu asked.

Majima laughed, and it came out all sour and wrong. “Me? Avoidin’ you? Kiryu-chan, baby, sweetheart, I’d never!”

Kiryu’s grip on his wrist tightened, and Majima’s tentacles gave a dangerous little wiggle under his jacket.

“But you keep running away.”

Majima nodded and gingerly tried to pull his arm from Kiryu’s grasp. “Cardio’s important.”

“You hate cardio.”

“Yeah, well… shut up!”

But even after that devastating comeback, Kiryu didn’t let him go. His gaze bounced around Majima’s face like he was trying to see Majima’s thoughts with x-ray vision.

Majima stared back and desperately tried to think of any way to get out of this that didn’t involve embarrassing himself further.

But then he felt his jacket move, and he saw Kiryu catch the movement.

Kiryu looked down. And Majima did too.

One tentacle had apparently decided enough was enough and had slipped out from under his jacket to curl its way around Kiryu’s wrist.

It was all slow with it, too, like it was giving Kiryu-chan a cute little snuggle like a huge asshole.

Kiryu blinked.

And Majima was pretty sure he was going to throw up or pass out or spontaneously combust right on the spot. “So, funny story.”

The tentacle squeezed Kiryu’s wrist.

“Nii-san,” he said carefully. “What is this?”

Majima pretended not to see, like maybe he could gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss himself right out of all of this. “What’s what?”

Kiryu lifted his arm. The tentacle came with it, wrapped around his wrist like a horny little bracelet.

“Oh, that? Could be anything.”

Kiryu frowned. “It’s attached to you.”

“Lotsa things are attached to me, Kiryu-chan. Including you, apparently, followin’ me around all day like a lost puppy. You got a big fat crush on me or somethin’?”

Kiryu sighed. “Nii-san, seriously.”

Kiryu’s stupid little face looked so frustrated, and it was cute. And Majima was weak. “Fine! It’s a tentacle! I have tentacles. Happy now?”

Majima braced himself for what was surely to come – the yelling or the grossed out recoil, or for Kiryu to fling him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and deliver him straight to the doctor.

But Kiryu didn’t do any of that.

Instead, he touched the tentacle. Just ran his thumb over it, all slow and careful, like he wanted to see what it felt like.

Like this wasn’t the weirdest thing that had happened to either of them in at least the last seven to ten business days.

The sensation of Kiryu gently petting his tentacle had Majima weak in the knees. “Oh, fuck,” he gasped.

Kiryu’s eyes snapped to his face. “Did that hurt?”

Majima let out one hysterical laugh. “Nope.”

Kiryu’s eyes dropped back to the tentacle and he rubbed his thumb over it once more.

A sound escaped Majima’s throat that was, unfortunately, not even a little bit cool.

The tentacle tightened around Kiryu’s wrist like it had decided all on its own to ruin Majima’s life right then and there.

“Are they sensitive?” Kiryu asked quietly, transfixed by his new horny accessory.

Majima was fucking standing there, trembling in his boots with a boner that could cut glass, and Kiryu was looking at him with quiet, devastating interest, which Majima had only been wanting for the last thousand years. And he had the nerve to ask if they were sensitive?

“What do you think?” snapped Majima.

Kiryu stroked it again, and Majima clutched the front of Kiryu’s jacket with both hands. “Kiryu-chan, I’m gonna need ya to make a decision real fast here.”

Kiryu hummed. “About what?” He stroked it again, and Majima shuddered so hard it rattled through his teeth.

“About how cool you are with makin’ me come in my fuckin’ pants if you don’t cut this shit out right now,” huffed Majima, squeezing his eyes shut as another wave of heat rocked through him.

Kiryu froze. “Oh.”

Majima laughed weakly. “Yeah. Oh.”

Kiryu-chan, bless his soul, never was one to dilly-dally over a decision. Which Majima was eternally grateful for, because it was only a moment before Kiryu stepped closer.

Majima’s back hit the wall behind him, and Kiryu crowded in close, all broad and solid and warm. One of Majima’s tentacles slipped out from under his jacket completely. And then another. And then they were all out, curling around Kiryu’s thick arms and running over his perfect tits.

Majima was definitely going to pass out. “Have some decorum, you needy fucks.”

Kiryu looked at the tentacles draped over him. “They seem friendly.”

“Kiryu-chan, they’re not friendly. They’re horny.”

Kiryu’s ears went a little red, and Majima watched with abject delight as a little blush bloomed over his cheeks.

“Oh my god,” Majima breathed. “You’re like… into this.”

Kiryu swallowed. “I-I didn’t say that.”

Majima thunked his head back against the wall. “I cannot believe what I’m seein’ here. Kiryu Kazuma, all flustered and hard up over my back noodles!”

Kiryu growled, and that should have sent every single alarm bell off in Majima’s brain, but there was simply no time.

Because then Kiryu’s hands were on him and he was pulling Majima into a kiss.

All the thoughts in Majima’s head spilled right out his ears, because Kiryu was kissing him! On the mouth! On purpose!

It was red hot and Majima made a tiny sound into Kiryu’s mouth when he felt Kiryu’s tongue against his lip. Kiryu’s hand slid up the side of his neck to tilt Majima’s head for better access, and the whole thing turned hungry.

Majima clutched at Kiryu, reaching into his jacket and pulling his shirt open to get his hands on that body.

But his tentacles wanted more.

One curled around Kiryu’s waist and yanked him closer. Another slid up the back of Kiryu’s neck and around his jaw, like it wanted to get in on the mouth action. The one around Kiryu’s wrist tightened, and Kiryu groaned into Majima’s mouth like maybe the tentacles weren’t the only needy fucks in this alley.

Majima was going to die. He was going to die right there next to a pile of trash with Kiryu-chan’s tongue in his mouth and his tentacles doing their best to bind them together from head to toe.

Not the worst way to go, honestly.

But he could feel what the tentacles were feeling, and it was all-consuming. Kiryu’s skin was so warm and the friction was so good, and Majima was hanging on by a thread.

He could feel Kiryu’s cock against him, hard in his pants.

Kiryu gasped when a tentacle wiggled its way down the front of his shirt and rubbed over one of his nipples. He pulled back just enough to take a breath.

Majima wanted to eat Kiryu up, with his shiny wet lips and his hair all fucked up and his chest heaving up and down. Kiryu rocked against him and Majima was delirious with it.

Without breaking eye contact, Kiryu opened his mouth, and the tentacle near his face took its chance. It nudged Kiryu’s bottom lip, and with quite possibly the most evil expression Majima had ever seen on that dumb face, Kiryu took the tip of the tentacle into his mouth. And sucked once, hard.

Majima came in his pants.

There was no build up or chance to say something clever or terrifying or sexy. One second he was looking at Kiryu’s mouth around the tentacle and the next his whole body seized up and he was crying out like Kiryu had fuckin’ tiger dropped him to the moon.

He could hardly even see, and he went boneless against the wall behind him as his cock twitched underneath hot leather.

The tentacles vanished and Majima began to slide down the wall until Kiryu caught him under the arms.

Kiryu didn’t say anything as he watched Majima catch his breath. Majima felt like he’d been hit by a fuckin’ truck.

“Well,” Majima finally breathed when his brain returned from its trip to space, “that whole suckin’ my innocent tentacle thing was rude.”

Kiryu’s mouth twitched, and Majima was ninety-five percent sure that Kiryu was trying not to laugh at him. Which was also rude!

“Oh, I blow my load in my pants one time and suddenly I’m a clown to you?”

Kiryu frowned. “Nii-san, you’ve always been a clown to me.”

And then Kiryu did laugh, and Majima was struck because he wanted to hear Kiryu laugh like that all the time. He’d come in his pants for the next thirty years straight if it meant Kiryu would share one of those rare, real laughs with him again.

But he couldn’t let Kiryu-chan know that. “Not nice, Kiryu-chan! Not nice at all!”

Kiryu smiled then, and it cut right through Majima’s innards like a knife.

Majima looked down. Between them, Kiryu’s cock was still rock hard, tenting the front of his pants. Majima wanted to put it in his mouth.

“Want me to take care of this for ya?” Majima asked, rocking forward against him a little.

Kiryu sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed his eyes shut. After a moment, he shook his head.

Majima tried super hard not to burst into tears. How mean not to let him take even the tiniest taste! But maybe Kiryu was only into the tentacles, and now that they were gone, he just wasn’t interested anymore.

Which was the absolute worst thing in the world, but if Kiryu wasn’t buying what Majima was selling, he wasn’t going to push his luck.

“Can you stand on your own?” Kiryu asked.

Majima wiggled a little in Kiryu’s arms. “Mmm… depends on the motivation.”

“You hungry?”

Majima stood up straight and pushed past Kiryu.

“Ramen,” he called over his shoulder. “Let’s go. You’re buyin’.”

Kiryu caught up to him easily, and then they were off towards the restaurant together like they’d just had a dynamite fight. Like there wasn’t cum drying in his pants and like Kiryu wasn’t a big freak just like Minami.

Which was fine. It was great, actually.

Because if Majima thought about what had just happened for more than three seconds, he’d probably have a whole menty b, one so bad that Nishida would have to activate one of those protocols he was always talking about, the ones he kept locked up in the safe in Majima’s office.

So he didn’t think about it.

Not even a little bit.

~*~*~

After that, Kiryu just kept appearing.

It was the worst.

It was also the best thing that had ever happened to Majima in his whole entire life, but mostly it was the worst.

Because the only reason this was all happening was because Kiryu-chan was a freak. Which was fine. Amazing, honestly, because Majima could work with freaky. Majima had been freaky long before the tentacles, and now that he was using them in all kinds of ways, well… they were just really doing this whole match each other’s freak thing super well.

Majima wouldn’t deny Kiryu the chance to get his hands on what was quite possibly the only set of bonafide real-life fuckable human tentacles in the whole of Japan. He was a generous man, practically a public servant.

So after a fight, or sometimes just because, Kiryu and Majima would end up pressed together in some alley or would stumble into Kiryu’s apartment, and the tentacles would come out to play.

The second Kiryu kissed him, there they were, wriggling out from under Majima’s jacket. They’d tug off Kiryu’s clothes and wrap around his arms. They’d fuck Majima if Kiryu was too slow to get his cock inside him. And to his delight, sometimes they’d fuck Kiryu while Kiryu was fucking Majima, and wasn’t that just the most batshit amazing thing that had ever happened?

They’d curl around Majima’s wrists to hold him down if he got too twitchy when Kiryu did something extra evil, like press a soft little kiss behind his ear or look at Majima with a smile so gentle it made Majima feel like he was worth a damn.

It was the worst.

And it got really bad when Kiryu started doing shit that was super rude. Like when Kiryu would bring him a glass of water after a particularly hardcore fucking, or when he’d clean Majima up with a warm washcloth all sweetly.

One time, when Kiryu had to leave right after they fucked, he pressed a little kiss to Majima’s forehead.

Majima had to roll over and scream bloody murder into his pillow about that one.

And Kiryu had the gall to look down at him all worried and ask, “What?”

Majima told him to mind his business.

Because, Majima was coming to realize, the sex was one thing. Sex with Kiryu was easy, the best, literally zero complaints possible on that one. It made sense. Kiryu was sex on legs, and Majima was currently equipped with a ton of extra horny, semi-sentient sex toys for Kiryu to play with.

But everything else. That was fucking hard.

Because every little thing that Kiryu did outside of sex hurt so bad. Like when Kiryu would show up at his door with his arms all full of Majima’s favorite takeout. Or when he’d take Goromi out for a big night on the town before she took him home and fucked him within an inch of his life. Or that one time, when Majima caught the flu and Kiryu set up shop at his bedside like his own personal sexy nurse.

Majima just didn’t know what to do with all that, because it made him want.

Sure, he wanted Kiryu’s body. Duh.

But that kinda shit also made him want to plunge his tanto right into Kiryu’s chest and pull his heart out so he could keep it safe right in his own pocket. It made him want to hold Kiryu’s hand and take him on a date and have his babies.

Majima was used to hurting. He was kinda great at it. But this hurt was different than the kind that came with heavy fists and cracked bones, and Majima didn’t know how to deal. Kiryu didn’t want Majima, he just wanted the tentacles because he was a big pervert.

So Majima did what any wise, mature, emotionally well-adjusted man would do.

He kept his fuckin’ mouth shut.

And if each time they met, his heart broke a little bit more?

Well, at least he was too dehydrated to cry about it.

~*~*~

Majima’s breaking point came in the middle of the night, some time between a Tuesday and a Wednesday.

And it was outta the blue, no warning at all. A guy deserved some kind of notice before his life went tits up, like a storm cloud or a plague of locusts.

But no.

Majima woke up in his own bed, and it smelled like Kiryu-chan. He must have passed out after Kiryu and Goromi blew the absolute roof off this place.

He couldn’t have been sleeping for that long. He could hear Kiryu out in the kitchen, digging around in his kitchen cabinets.

Majima blinked at the ceiling. His tentacles were still tucked away, all nice and hidden. Which was good.

He sat up slowly, rubbing the heel of his hand against his eye. His body felt all loose and wrung out, sore in all the best ways.

But Kiryu was out there in the kitchen, probably getting ready to do something horrendously evil like bring him a cup of coffee.

Majima wanted to leave. It was the smart thing to do, even if this was his own apartment. Get up, throw on some pants, and climb out the window to scamper down the side of the building like Spider-Man before Kiryu had the chance to ambush him with a soft little kiss on the forehead.

He threw the blanket off and prowled to his dresser to liberate a pair of pants.

But before he could hop into them and slip out, he saw Goromi’s dress hanging from his closet door.

His tentacles gave a tiny, miserable twitch under his skin.

Earlier that night, one of the straps had torn. It wasn’t even during anything fun – some drunk goon had pushed past Goromi too hard on their way home from the movies, and the strap gave way. Goromi bitched about it the whole way home.

But there it was, hanging up with the strap fixed. Majima dropped the pants in his hand and took a step closer.

He reached out and ran a finger over the stitching. It was kinda bad, which wasn’t a surprise because Kiryu’s hands were ginormous and the strap was thin and delicate. But what in the actual fuck, Kiryu-chan?

Majima pictured Kiryu sneaking out of bed after he passed out, hunting down his sewing kit, and hunching over to repair that fucking strap all secret-like.

It was so fucking cute. It was too much.

And Majima’s heart shattered into a bajillion pieces.

The tentacles pushed out from his back so fast that it knocked the air out of him. They drooped limply by his side, like they were also heartbroken.

One of them gingerly reached up to nudge the strap.

Majima could not hold back the wounded noise that bubbled out of his throat.

From the kitchen, Kiryu called, “Nii-san?”

Panic flared up in Majima’s chest, suffocating and thick. He snatched the dress off the hanger and hid it behind his back, like maybe this would all go away if Majima didn’t see anymore.

Kiryu appeared in the doorway a second later, a mug in each hand. He frowned when he saw Majima, standing there in his birthday suit, with his tentacles all limp and hiding Goromi’s dress behind his back.

Majima could feel himself coming apart like the stitches on Goromi’s dress.

“Ya fixed it,” he said, and his voice sounded all wrong.

Kiryu frowned and set the mugs on top of the dresser. “It was broken.”

“I fuckin’ know it was broken, Kiryu-chan. Why did you fix it?”

Kiryu stared at Majima like he didn’t understand a word coming out of his mouth. Majima didn’t even know what to do with himself. He wanted to leave. He wanted his tentacles to go away forever. He wanted them to wrap around Kiryu and pull him in so close, or maybe throw him out the window.

Instead, one of them plucked the dress from Majima’s hands and hung it back up before joining the others as they wrapped around Majima’s waist like they were giving him a big hug.

Kiryu got that little fuckin’ wrinkle between his brows and he took a tentative step closer. “Are you… mad? That I fixed Goromi’s dress?”

Majima laughed, and it sucked because it also kind of sounded like a sob. “You can’t just fuckin’ do that shit, Kiryu-chan!”

“What are you talking about?”

Majima growled. “That shit!” He pointed to the dress. “Fixing my dress and bringing me coffee and nursing me back to health! It’s fuckin’ killin’ me!”

Kiryu blinked.

Majima pressed both hands over his face, like that’d keep the words from coming out. But it was too late – the dam broke and they all came tumbling out of him.

“I know you’re just super into this limited edition deluxe monster package I got goin’ on, but if ya keep doin’ this shit, how the fuck do ya expect me not to fall in love with you? Jesus, Kiryu-chan, you fucked me up so bad that all I wanna do is hold yer hand and go on dates and have yer fuckin’ babies.”

Majima dropped his hands from his face and looked at Kiryu.

He was staring at Majima, his mouth open. Majima could see the gears turning in his head before Kiryu finally said, “You can’t have babies.”

Majima shrieked. “That’s all ya have to say?! After I just spilled my guts out?”

Kiryu took another step closer, his hands out like he was calming a wild animal. “No, nii-san, no. I’m just confused. I just thought… well, I thought we were already dating.”

It felt for a moment like all the air had been sucked right out of the room, and that maybe Majima would start floating in the air all zero-gravity style.

“Haw?”

“We go on dates all the time,” Kiryu said, taking another step closer. “We went to the movies yesterday.”

Majima’s heart felt like it was beating so hard that maybe Kiryu could see it thumping out of his chest like a cartoon. “Well, yeah! It was dark in there, so nobody could see my tentacles jerkin’ ya off behind that giant popcorn bucket!”

Majima was only a tiny bit satisfied to see color bloom high on Kiryu’s cheeks. “That is not why I took you to the movies, nii-san. I took you because we’re dating.”

Majima swallowed. “So the dress, and the forehead kisses, and the rest of this shit… it’s ‘cause we’re what? Boyfriends.”

Kiryu shrugged. “I mean… yeah, I thought so.”

“And you’re not just in this because I’m an absolute firecracker in the sack with extra utility attachments?”

Kiryu finally closed the distance between them. He gently rested his hands on Majima’s hips. “No. I wanted to date you before I even knew those existed. You punch really hard, nii-san.”

And despite everything, Majima felt a smile crack across his face. “Yer a fuckin’ pervert, Kiryu-chan.”

Kiryu nodded. “Maybe. But the tentacles could disappear forever tomorrow and I’d still want to see you come in your pants.”

“You wanna date me and hold my hand and have my babies?” Majima asked. Because he really had to know for real.

Kiryu squeezed his hips. “Yes. But again, we can’t have babies.”

Majima raised his eyebrows. “I dunno, Kiryu-chan, tell that to the fuckin’ tentacles that burst outta me when I was just mindin’ my own business. Apparently bodies can just make shit up.”

Kiryu tilted his head like he was thinking super hard. “Well, we probably have to live together before you knock me up.”

Majima’s tentacles flexed around him so hard that the air was squeezed right out of his lungs. “We what now?” he wheezed.

Kiryu smiled, and this time instead of slicing Majima to bits, it filled him up with all kinds of warm fuzzies that he, in any normal circumstances, probably would have puked about.

His tentacles slowly unwound from around his waist and started tentatively reaching for Kiryu.

Kiryu pressed closer and wound his arms around Majima’s middle. He leaned forward, dropping his forehead to Majima’s. “Move in with me.”

Majima was feeling all buoyant and stupid, like Kiryu had cracked his chest open and filled it with fizzy champagne. He huffed out a laugh. “Damn, buy a girl a drink first.”

“Already have. But I’ll buy you more if that’ll help.”

Then Kiryu kissed him.

And for once, the tentacles didn’t go absolutely feral. Instead, they just curled around the both of them, all gentle and warm, holding them there like this was their grand master plan all along.

The kiss heated up slowly, almost sweet at first. Majima wound his arms around Kiryu’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Kiryu came easy, pressing him back with the solid weight of his body until Majima’s knees hit the edge of the bed.

Majima fell back with a laugh, dragging Kiryu down on top of him.

Which was when he realized, with a sharp little thrill, that neither of them had a single stitch of clothing on.

“Kiryu-chan,” Majima said against his mouth. “You just said all that shit with your cock out.”

Kiryu bit Majima’s bottom lip. “So did you.”

Majima decided to ignore that. He kissed Kiryu again, harder this time. Kiryu licked into his mouth like he was starving for Majima’s taste.

Majima arched up under him, already getting hard. And when Kiryu hauled him up towards the middle of the bed, those big strong hands on his waist, his cock was fully ready to join the party.

Majima’s tentacles followed, sliding over Kiryu’s shoulders and down his back. One curled around his thigh, and another pressed him close. They may have been a little calmer than normal, but they were still little greedy bastards, running over the sharp planes of Kiryu’s body like they owned it.

Kiryu started placing little kisses along his jaw, and then he sucked a mark on Majima’s throat. Majima tilted his head back with a groan. He could feel Kiryu hard against him, heavy and hot, and every little shift of Kiryu’s hips made sparks shoot down his spine.

“Nii-san,” Kiryu said against his skin.

Majima shivered. “Yeah?”

Kiryu lifted his head. His face was flushed so prettily, and his hair was all fucked up from where Majima had run his hands and his tentacles through it.

“I want to ride you,” he said.

Majima’s entire soul briefly left his body, and so did those in his tentacles if the way they all suddenly went still meant anything.

“Holy fuckin’ shit, Kiryu-chan,” Majima breathed.

Kiryu smiled down at him. Majima wanted to cry.

His tentacles were quicker to get the message. One of them helpfully slithered across the bed to grab a bottle of lube from the nightstand. It dropped the bottle into Majima’s hand and then flipped the cap open for him.

Majima laughed. “Look at you! Finally contributin’ to society.”

Kiryu took the bottle from Majima’s hand and then raised that same hand to his lips. Majima could only watch, wide-eyed, as Kiryu slipped his fingers into his mouth. Majima wasn’t sure if his hands had also gained some new tentacle-adjacent sensitivity since this whole thing started, but when Kiryu swirled his tongue around Majima’s fingers, Majima writhed.

Kiryu smirked around his fingers and then pulled them from his mouth. He dumped lube on them and then guided Majima’s hand back to his entrance.

Majima took over from there. He twisted one hand in Kiryu’s hair to pull him closer, and with the other he massaged Kiryu’s entrance with one finger.

Kiryu exhaled hard against his mouth.

“Relax,” Majima murmured, because apparently being in love turned him into some kinda tender asshole. “I gotcha.”

Kiryu nodded and kissed him again as Majima slipped one finger inside.

The sound Kiryu made was filthy, all low and needy.

Majima grinned against his mouth. “Awfully greedy, Kiryu-chan. Look at you. Just a single finger and you’re already like this.”

Kiryu pushed his hips back against Majima’s hand.

“Fuck,” Majima wheezed.

As Majima worked Kiryu open, his tentacles worked on taking them apart. One wrapped around Kiryu’s thigh and spread him wider. Another slid over his chest, teasing over one of his nipples until Kiryu gasped against his mouth.

A third curled around Majima’s cock, loose and slick and maddening, like it was just keeping him warmed up for the main event.

The last one nudged between Majima’s legs. It pressed against him, rubbing over his entrance all slick and careful. Majima’s hips jerked.

By the time Majima had worked Kiryu up to three fingers, Kiryu was panting over him, red and sweaty and trembling with the effort to hold himself still. Majima wanted to devour him. Wanted to crack his chest open and crawl right inside.

The tentacle between his legs kept teasing him open, pressing in just enough to make Majima gasp.

But Kiryu couldn’t handle it anymore. Which was good, because the way Majima’s tentacles were teasing him had him ready to snap.

“Ready, I’m ready,” Kiryu said, pushing himself up. He reached back and wrapped his fingers around Majima’s cock.

“Fuck,” Majima moaned. “Yeah, c’mere.”

Kiryu rose up over him, strong thighs bracketing Majima’s hips. The tentacles helped steady him, curling around his hips and thighs as he lined Majima up.

Majima reached for Kiryu’s waist and held on tight.

As Kiryu sank down, the tentacle between Majima’s legs pressed inside him, and Majima’s brain shorted out for a second.

Kiryu was tight and hot around him, and the tentacle was stretching him open, and another was wrapped around Kiryu’s cock, stroking him slowly. Both of them moaned, and the sound of Kiryu falling apart above him made Majima’s vision go fuzzy around the edges.

“Holy shit,” Majima choked out.

Kiryu braced one hand on Majima’s chest and started to move.

It was all Majima could do to watch. Kiryu’s thighs were powerful as he rode him, muscles flexing with every lift and drop. The tentacles helped, curling under him and guiding him up and down, spreading him wider so Majima could see exactly how well Kiryu took him.

His chest bounced with each movement and Majima could not stop staring.

“Kiryu-chan, your tits are fuckin’ incredible,” he said, reaching up to squeeze them roughly.

Kiryu made a strangled sound. “Nii-san.”

“So perfect, baby, perfect fuckin’ tits,” Majima said, pinching Kiryu’s nipples before rubbing over them with his thumbs.

“S-stop,” Kiryu breathed, squeezing his eyes shut.

But Majima couldn’t stop. Not with Kiryu so pretty on top of him, and not with his tentacles touching them both. Not with the whole entire world narrowed down to the heat and pressure around his cock and inside of him.

Majima babbled on, filth and praise, telling Kiryu how perfect he looked, how good he felt, how nicely he was taking him.

Kiryu’s legs began to shake, which was fine because Majima needed more. He needed to be closer, to fuck into Kiryu deeper.

He gripped Kiryu’s hips and flipped them over.

Kiryu landed on his back with a grunt, and Majima was on him immediately, pressing him into the mattress and fucking into him hard.

The tentacle inside Majima moved too, thrusting into him as the same pace he fucked Kiryu. Majima nearly collapsed at the force of it.

Majima hooked his arms behind Kiryu’s legs, hoisting them up so he could thrust into Kiryu even harder.

“F-fuck,” Kiryu gasped.

A tentacle gathered Kiryu’s wrists and pinned them above his head, giving Majima an unobstructed view of Kiryu’s body all stretched out underneath him.

Majima grinned. “Yeah? This what ya wanted, baby? Wanted me to fuck ya like this?”

Kiryu nodded, breathless and sweaty and absolutely wrecked.

“Say it.”

Kiryu looked up at him, his eyes all unfocused. “Want it. Want you.”

Kiryu’s head tipped back, and another tentacle slid up his chest, over his throat, and prodded at his lips. Kiryu opened for it immediately, taking it into his mouth with a muffled groan.

Majima almost lost his rhythm entirely.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he breathed. “Look at you. Greedy, so greedy for your nii-san, Kiryu-chan.”

Kiryu looked up at him with the tentacle in his mouth and Majima’s cock inside him, and Majima thought, very seriously, that he might actually die. That he was going to drop dead right there because Kiryu was too good and so warm.

It was too much.

Kiryu under him, around him, sucking on his tentacle like he’d been born for it. The tentacle inside Majima kept fucking him deep and steady, and another one was curled around Kiryu’s cock all slick and tight. All of it fed back through Majima’s body on an endless loop until he couldn’t tell where his pleasure ended and Kiryu’s began.

Kiryu made a filthy sound around the tentacle, low and muffled, and he clenched down hard around Majima’s cock.

That was it.

Kiryu came first, spilling over the tentacle wrapped around him, shaking under Majima with a broken moan.

The sight of it ripped Majima apart.

He came so hard inside Kiryu that he was pretty sure he died. His orgasm was overwhelming, exploding from his core and radiating out over his skin like lightning.

Then the tentacles disappeared.

Without them holding him up, Majima dropped onto Kiryu’s chest so hard the air wooshed right out of Kiryu’s lungs.

“Oof,” Kiryu grunted.

“Sorry,” Majima wheezed, not moving at all.

They stayed like that for a long time, sweaty and sticky, with Majima’s cock still in Kiryu’s ass, Majima all sprawled out uselessly over Kiryu while Kiryu’s heartbeat thumped steadily under his ear.

Kiryu moved first.

He wrapped both arms around Majima and hugged him tight, like maybe he also wanted to crawl right under Majima’s skin and live there forever.

“Holy shit, Kiryu-chan,” Majima breathed.

Kiryu tipped Majima’s chin up and kissed him. It was chaste, so sweet. Then he dropped another kiss onto his forehead.

“Hey,” Kiryu said softly. “Nii-san.”

“What?”

Kiryu’s thumb brushed under his cheek, just under the edge of his eyepatch. “Love you.”

Majima squawked and buried his face directly between Kiryu’s perfect tits.

Kiryu laughed, and it jostled Majima enough that his cock finally slipped out of Kiryu.

They both grunted, but Majima knew that Kiryu wasn’t going to let him hide for long.

So he took a breath and pushed himself up to his elbows. His arms were shaking from exertion and he probably looked like hell.

But Kiryu was looking up at him like he was some kinda treasure.

Unbelievable.

“Love you too,” Majima said. And because this was all really just a lot, and he was overwhelmed not only from the fucking, but also by the weirdly not scary warm feelings inside his belly, he followed it up with, “You fuckin’ pervert.”

Kiryu laughed, and it was the best.

~*~*~

Majima woke up slowly.

He was warm, too hot, actually. But he was so comfy, and his pillow was kind of shaped like it might be the most perfect tit in all the land.

Majima cracked his eye open.

Yes, a pillow of perfect tits was right under him. And he was sprawled out halfway across a body so bangin’ that he couldn’t help but smile. Kiryu-chan made the best pillow.

Kiryu-chan was his boyfriend.

Kiryu had an arm around his waist, holding him there like that was just a thing they could do now, like this was all just business as usual. Which was insane.

But then he noticed what Kiryu was doing.

And that was flipping through a little stack of Garbage Pail Kids cards that Majima had accidentally left on the nightstand.

Majima shot upright so fast that Kiryu almost dropped them.

“Kiryu-chan, ya weren’t supposed to see those!”

Kiryu blinked and then started laughing. “Your collection of weird gross trading cards? Nii-san, I’ve known about these forever. You’ve been into them since the ‘80s.”

Majima swallowed.

Kiryu looked back down at the cards in his hand. He studied one and then held it up for Majima. “This one looks kind of like Minami.”

Majima leaned closer and squinted. New Wave Dave stared back at him.

Majima scrunched his nose and pushed Kiryu’s hand away. “I can’t believe ya’d bring that asshole up while we’re here butt naked in our marriage bed!”

Kiryu placed the stack of cards carefully back on the nightstand, and then Majima was all caught up in an ambush.

Kiryu tackled him back down to the mattress and pinned his arms above his head. He nosed against Majima’s jaw. “Thought I said we should live together first.”

Majima writhed, absolutely delighted by this whole new having a boyfriend thing. “Naw, you said that was just before I knocked ya up.”

Kiryu hummed, and then he was pushing his arms under Majima to haul him closer, his hands warm against Majima’s back.

They both froze.

Kiryu pulled back a little and looked down at him before gently running his fingers between Majima’s shoulder blades.

Nothing happened. There was no wriggling under Majima’s skin. All Majima felt were Kiryu’s perfect fingers tracing the place where the tentacles should have been.

Majima swallowed hard, and for a second, he kind of wanted to cry.

“Are… are they gone?” Kiryu asked, watching Majima’s face very carefully.

“Yeah,” Majima said, his voice rough. “Think so.”

“Are you sad?”

Majima frowned. He didn’t think that was it. Not exactly. Sure, they’d been a hell of a good time. But they had also been absolutely infuriating and inconvenient. And because they had apparently been directly connected to his Kiryu-motivated boners, and Majima pretty much always had a Kiryu-motivated boner, it really was for the best that they were gone for good.

So he wasn’t sad they were gone really. Especially not now that he knew Kiryu was all sappy and gross and in love with him for him, not the tentacles.

But Majima was starting to think that maybe they wouldn’t have ever found themselves here like this, all gooey and sweet and disgusting, if the tentacles hadn’t forced them together.

Majima laughed suddenly. “Fuck.”

Kiryu frowned down at him even harder, and it was so fucking cute that Majima wanted to punch him right in the head.

“Not sad, I’m not sad. I just can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think I’m kinda grateful for those fuckin’ bastards.”

Kiryu hummed, and then he dropped another of those evil, precious kisses to his forehead.

“Me too.”