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It's raining.
This was the first thing Zora processed as she woke up in the church, back aching from sleeping upright in the corner of the south transept, as she didn't really trust the others enough to lie down close to them, let alone sleep directly beside them.
Her eyes cracked open just enough to scan her surroundings, at the perfect angle so as to ensure that her eyelashes were covering her irises.
Everything was how she had remembered it; Jawhn, Grayleigh, Mike, and Rotation were all sprawled out in the crossing of the church, seemingly fast asleep. Zora glanced toward the vestibule, finding it to still be quite late. Or early; she really couldn't tell. All that mattered was that it was still dark.
She'd always had issues falling asleep, even back in Salvation, when she still had Elizabeth to hold her. Back then, it was manageable at the least; she had a group, a large group, to help protect.
Now it was just her most of the time, and she didn't really have the time nor comfort to sleep as much as she had back then.
Opening her eyes fully, she sat up from her curled position against the wall and stretched out her legs before strenuously pulling herself to her feet. Her entire body ached, only marginally worse than it had when she had fallen asleep, but it was enough for her to notice.
'I wouldn't be surprised if it was the infection finally starting to get to me.' She ruminated on the thought for a second, hand running through her hair, eventually deciding it wasn't worth the worry before starting over toward the sleeping bodies just a few feet away.
It probably wasn't a good idea to kill one of them here, since they could probably take a wild guess that it was her. Who else would kill in this situation, Grayleigh?
She let out a soft, nearly inaudible, giggle as she crouched down to look at the sleeping faces of the group. The lot of them looked frustrated, in a way, eyebrows furrowed and lips formed into a slight frown. It was an expression they'd all worn since the day they got here.
She wondered how she looked when she slept, if she looked the same as them.
Zora shifted her gaze to the man just slightly farther away from the other bodies, Jawhn.
The first thing that she noticed was the lack of the signature green scarf he always seemed to wear.
He'd most likely taken it off at some point before he fell asleep, the threat of him (or someone else) choking the brunet in his sleep looming over him.
Or it was just uncomfortable, and she was too murder-brained.
Zora shrugged off the thought, shifting her body into an awkward standing position and scooting to sit next to Jawhn, slightly leaning over him. Even in his sleep, he looked exhausted, his face stuck in a constant expression of unrest.
Jawhn was... an interesting man.
She didn't really know what to make of him at first, and honestly, she still doesn't. If anything, she's gotten even more uncertain, which was, to say the least, worrying, considering she'd like to know what to do with the guy before she succumbs to the infection slowly taking over her body.
She'd been playing with the thought of killing Jawhn ever since she first saw him, pondering on if she should draw him away from his group (which now only consisted of Woogie— it would be so easy) and stab him. Or bludgeon him. Whatever would end up with him dead and her with new, helpful loot.
But, despite being a self-proclaimed killing machine, she could never bring herself to do it.
At first, she had reasoned to herself that killing him when he was way better off in gear than her was a terrible idea, and yet, when she found netherite gear, she still didn't follow through. She had thought he would be useful to her longer-term plans, sparing him yet again.
Now she was dying.
She was going to die soon, and she still could not bring herself to end his stupid, frustrating excuse of a life.
Zora held nothing but contempt for this man— Jawhn has held up her plans so, so many times, and really, she hated him. She hated him so much. It honestly brought tears to her eyes to think about how badly he'd messed her up, always trusting her and helping her and giving her tools and food and even a backpack—
"Zora…?"
Zora's eyes shot open— she hadn't even realized they were shut, really— and darted towards the origin of the sound.
"Zora, what are you doing?" A tired, slightly panicked voice rang out from under her, echoing off of the walls of the church despite how low he was speaking.
It was now she realized that while she had been fretting over how much she hated Jawhn, she had moved herself to sit over him, coming to fully lean herself over the brunet's body, hands resting lightly over his neck.
Her nonexistent response caught in her throat, expelling a pitiful choked noise instead. The sound of heavy rain filled the room, broken only by Zora's own panting and the distant groans of zombies.
Zora couldn't bring herself to look him in the face, even as Jawhn's hands came up to grab her wrists and gently pull them away from his neck, as if she were something fragile instead of something to be feared.
She felt him relax under her as he realized that she wasn't fighting back, before he tensed up again. "Zora? Can you— can you hear me? Are you sleepwalking or something? Or— fuck— is this an infection thing?"
"I can hear you. It's not... an infection thing, I don't think."
She cut off his anxious rambling, cringing at the sound of her own strained voice. God, she hated this. What's wrong with her? Why did she even do this? She's rarely ever had issues with keeping her emotions in check before, so why was it happening now?
"Are you alright? What's going on? Why are you… Well, uh, sitting on me?"
Silence sat between the two of them for a short moment before Zora flushed, clumsily pushing herself off of Jawhn's thighs. "Um... I was just— I wanted to check on you…?" She fidgeted, her speech lacking the soft confidence that it usually had.
It was obvious that the offered excuse wasn't convincing, as Jawhn pushed himself up to be leaning his weight on his right forearm, staring at the blonde with what could only be described as a deeply disconcerted look. His mouth opened, as if to speak, before he closed it again, pausing as if waiting for her to speak first.
Instead of explaining herself, she settled for turning her head to the side, glaring at the bodies still sleeping directly next to them, unaware of the sheer embarrassment and frustration Zora was currently experiencing. She wished she was asleep right now instead of having the worst conversation of her life.
She lifted her arm to wipe at the sweat that had begun to pool at the back of her neck as a result of the… Everything, really. This situation really sucked.
... Honestly, she would not mind if she turned into a zombie at this very moment. Not one bit, actually!
A hand rested cautiously on her thigh, making her jump.
"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I just… need to know if you're okay," Jawhn whispered, having apparently sat up to face her directly.
Zora finally turned towards him, looking the taller man in the eyes, before quickly averting her gaze again to sit on the ambo behind them.
He was patient with her as her mouth opened and closed repeatedly, trying to muster up something in response, something nonchalant, something that was her.
Instead, a soft noise escaped her, effectively shattering whatever dignity she thought she had left.
Despite that, he still waited for her. He was too patient. Way too patient. It was gross and weird.
"I... Yeah. Yeah, I'm—I'm okay. I'm fine," she muttered, nearly inaudible.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to see his face contort in the way she knew it would, looking at her with some sick kind of pity—
"Alright. Okay, I'm glad."
Her eyes darted to look at him, only to find him yawning, plopping back down onto the hard church floors.
"We'd better get back to sleep, Zora. Considering how the past few days have gone- at least for me- it's only going to get more hectic from here on out." He paused to look at her, humming mockingly? softly at what she imagined to be her stupid, shocked expression. "I can tell you haven't slept. At least not much... I think you should try and rest, maybe it'll..."
He let his words trail off, not wanting to finish the thought.
They both knew what he was going to say anyways.
The man stared at her for a beat more, seemingly pondering something, before closing his eyes. "...You can lie down next to me if you want. I know how it feels to be alone when you're having a hard time."
Her blonde hair waved gently with the wind blowing through the doors of the church, deciding not to grace Jawhn with a response. Instead, she let her own eyes close for a moment, focusing on the sound of the rain.
It was a peaceful sound; it was unfortunate that she soon wouldn't be around to hear it anymore.
When she opened her eyes again, she found herself leaning against the pillar next to Jawhn's backpack.
She doesn't trust Jawhn much, and she most likely never will, never get the chance, but she'll allow herself this one comfort for one last night.
When she finally falls back asleep, she has only one thought.
It's raining.