Archive of Our Own

As the patriotic season rolled around once again, Matt Murdock faced the dreaded question: Are you coming to watch the fireworks?

Obviously Matt wouldn’t be watching anything. That’s not really what the invitation was for. He understood it was just an excuse to hang out, and everyone was only doing their best to include him, and he did appreciate that, but it wasn’t just the lack of visuals that deterred him from going.  

Fireworks had always been a struggle for Matt. His heightened senses made most things 10 times more terrible than they really were, but even before he lost his sight he’d never been particularly interested in them. For an activity mainly consisting of loud noises and crowds of people, he wasn’t actually sure why everyone thought they were so great. 

Now, in most previous years, he had always found a sneaky way to get out of going. A headache or upset stomach can really come in handy if you know when and how to utilize them. And it’s not like you can get all that much out of the experience as a blind man, so Foggy had usually let it go. But this year, he was adamant that Matt join. 

“Come on man, you miss them, like, every year.” Matt smirked. “Stop. You know what I mean. I just want you to hang out with us. Come with. Please?” Foggy begged. “It’ll be good for you to get out. And we can get mini donuts!”

The mini donuts were tempting. The fireworks were not.

Matt shrugged. “I dunno Fogs, I’m really tired and I-” He began to reply but foggy cut him off with a shushing finger. 

“I don’t think you heard me correctly. Mini. Donuts.” He reiterated, “Pretty please?”

Who could resist the charm of Foggy Nelson. Certainly not one Matt Murdock. 

Matt stiffened, taking a deep breath before replying, “Alright.”

“I knew I could get you to give in. Karen is going to meet us there. Thanks for agreeing to come, Matt.” 

“No problem..” Foggy didn’t seem to notice the hesitation in his tone. Matt could practically feel the excitement beaming off of Foggy—maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Right?

—-----------------------------------------------

Wrong. Matt could already feel his skin itching as they walked into the park. Foggy insisted they show early to avoid the crowd and find a good spot, but they were already beginning to form.

The portable lawn chair he was carrying was digging into his side as he carried it woefully up the grassy hill. He could feel the intruding gazes of the people around them, wondering why someone would bring their blind friend to watch fireworks. It was difficult to carry to chair and utilize his cane at the same time, which he had been needing to do more as people filled the area, clouding his senses. Each instance added to his frustration, but he pushed through.

He breathed a sigh of relief when they finally reached a spot that Foggy declared adequate for viewing the fireworks. The grass was cool, albeit a bit itchy, but generally pleasurable. He smoothed out their blanket and opted to sit on it instead of the chair. 

Karen arrived with a quick wave and smile. 

“Hey Foggy, Matt.” She greeted them and sat on the chair that Matt had left. 

The anticipation filled him with anxiety and dread—especially not knowing exactly when it was going to happen was making him worry. Also, Foggy and Karen are here, what would they think if he were to freak out, or cover his ears? He shivered a little on the blanket. 

“You alright Matt?” Karen checked. 

“Peachy.” He replied, putting on his best fake smile. 

And with no warning, the fireworks began. 

Deafeningly loud pops assaulted Matt’s ears, one after the other. Sizzling noises, and explosive, bomb-like bangs crowded his senses. His hands flew from his sides immediately, and tears pricked at his ears as the fireworks continued on. Each blossom of chemicals hurt more than the last, testing him. 

He pressed his palms as hard as he could against his ears, no longer able to worry about what others would think. It didn’t take long for full on tears to begin flooding his eyes dripping down his face. He didn’t even try to stop it. It was too much. 

He tugged on the hair around his ears and fidgeted, whining softly as the experience worsened with each infiltrating explosion.

“Matt?” Karen noticed his discomfort, and put a worried hand on his shoulder. Matt flinched away from the touch, not needing another sensory input added to the already overwhelming plethora of sounds. 

Karen got the attention of Foggy, who was previously caught up in the light show and bucket of donuts to notice Matt’s distress, and his heart immediately dropped to his stomach when he noticed Matt. He should have known this would hurt Matt’s ears—no wonder he had always insisted on staying home. 

He shared a worried glance with Karen before facing his friend.

“Matty? We’re gonna go, okay? I know it’s too loud—I’m sorry.” He comforted.

Somehow his words got through to Matt, who was now standing, still crying and holding his hands over his ears, and obviously ready to be taken home. 

The three began to trudge back through the park, leaving the fireworks behind. Matt would still be able to hear them for blocks, but right now he was just trying to stifle up enough energy to get as far away as possible. He hiccupped sobs as they walked along the path, trying to ignore the questioning stares of passerbys, who were peacefully enjoying the fireworks. 

Matt didn’t say a word as they got into a taxi back to Hell’s Kitchen. The driver shot a confused glance at Matt, which was quickly fixed by Foggy’s signature shut up and do your job glare. 

He had finally begun to calm as Karen waved goodbye to Foggy and him at the entrance of his apartment. Foggy had explained to Karen how Matt could get overwhelmed quickly, and they both agreed it would be better for Matt if Foggy could help him alone, because he had more experience comforting Matt when he was like this, and because multiple people could cloud his senses more. 

Foggy rubbed Matt’s back in soft circles as he guided him up the stairs. Matt usually needed more assistance when he was like this, because it was impossible to focus on his surroundings when he needed so badly to shut out the world and regain his bearings. Foggy was more than happy to oblige—it reminded him of their college days, when he guided Matt everywhere, before he knew about his super senses. 

Matt fell onto his couch, sniffling softly, but still pulling at his hair and ears. He was beginning to hyperventilate now. Had he really just freaked out in public like that? In front of Foggy and  Karen? He stopped them from seeing the fireworks and they were never going to forgive him now, and god, why did he always have to be such a burden, and—

“Hey! Hey. Matt. Breathe. I’m right here.” Foggy soothed. “Everything’s okay. Nobody’s matt at you.”

Matt’s panicked sobs slowly began to wear off as Foggy whispered reassurances and pulled his hands away from his hair. His breathing slowed back to normal, and he let his body sink into the couch, tired.

“Hey buddy.” Foggy smiled.

“Hi.” Matt croaked, now able to speak and mostly recovered.

“I’m sorry, Matt. I didn’t think about how loud fireworks must be for you. I never should have begged you to come.” he said.

“No, Foggy, it’s not your fault. You just wanted to include me. I thought I could handle it.” Matt interrupted, “ I’m sorry. For ruining the fireworks for you both. I know I tire you out with all of my shit, and I try not to make you guys responsible for all of this–but–” His breath hitched. “It’s–I can’t–” Matt was starting to panic again. 

“Woah, no. Take another breath Matt.” Foggy edged closer to him and pulled him into a hug. This seemed to comfort one anxious and tired Matthew Murdock. 

“You’re not a burden. I promise.”

Matt tried to protest, but his eyelids were beginning to feel heavy and his mouth was all slow. He yawned deeply. A few sentences started and stopped as he failed to gather the words in his sleep-addled mind. Foggy shushed him each time.

“And I didn’t even get a mini donut..” he finally trailed off.