Chapter Text
Girls, Gays, and Theys
January 1 2024 9:17pm
Criminal Added Hanbin, Hao, Matthew and 4 others to the chat
Criminal: Hello my sweet baby gays! Welcome to the world of queer. You may not be here for a good time but you'll be here for a long time so enjoy your stay.
MonsterMuscles: Should I be concerned as to how you found out that many people are gay at once
Kwonnie: Not to mention that they are all from the same group?
Criminal: I have my methods ;3
ManKisser: He caught Bin and Hao making out in a supply closet
Hanbin: Jiwoong!
Matthew: I mean hes not wrong
Hanbin: That's true
Gunwook: Is no one going to mention that Jiwoong was already in this chat?
ManKisser: I was in another group before ZB1 so I was added then
Matthew changed Hanbin’s name to Motha
Matthew changed Hao’s name to HaoULikeThat
Matthew changed Matthew’s name to CanadaOppa
CanadaOppa changed Ricky’s name to Boss Baby
Ricky changed Gyuvin’s name to RatDad
CanadaOppa changed Taerae’s name to Taeraefic
CanadaOppa changed Gunwook’s name to Gunderella
Motha: Thank you Matthew -_-
HaoULikeThat: Is this because we were in Kill This Love together?
CanadaOppa: Yes
RatDad: Really Richard?
Boss Baby: Oh yes really you’re stuck with that now
MonsterMuscles: I get it now
WoongkiBoi: OMG
WoongkiBoi: Besties!!!!!
WoongkiBoi: Taerae my beloved has come back to me!
Taeraefic: Hi Woongki
Gunderella: I feel like we are witnessing something we shouldn't
WoongkiBoi: I’m so glad to have my friends here with no negative implications
HaoULikeThat: They caught us making out in a supply closet I would hardly call that no negative implications
WoongkiBoi: It’s Taemin
WoongkiBoi: What’s he gonna do? Report u?
WoongkiBoi: Just report him back
Motha: He does have a point
Bark: CANADA? I like Canada
Veggieboi: We know Mark
CanadaOppa: Mark
CanadaOppa: As in Mark Lee
CanadaOppa: MARK LEE
CanadaOppa: OF NCT
Veggieboi: He’s not that cool
Veggieboi: You get used to it when you live with him
CanadaOppa: Oh to live with THE Mark Lee
HighonLife: No you don’t want to
HighonLife: I’ve been stuck with him for too long
HighonLife: I thought getting put into a group with so many subunits would be great but we kept debuting together
Bark: We’re literally dating
HighonLife: And?
CanadaOppa: Oh to date THE Mark Lee
ManKisser: ?
ManKisser: You’re dating a very pretty actor named Kim Jiwoong
Criminal: HE’S WHAT?!
ManKisser: Oh No-
Jimochi: YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US
CanadaOppa: Were you ashamed of me?
Jimochi: YEAH WERE YOU ASHAMED OF HIM?
Criminal: KIM JIWOONG I THOUGHT WE RAISED YOU BETTER.
MonsterMuscles: Ooh you got punctuation… that’s how you know it’s serious
ManKisser: Goodbye everyone i'll remember you all in therapy
RatDad: Wait how did you know Ricky and I are dating-
Criminal: Gaydar
Criminal: That's how I got Key and Minho together
Criminal: It's a great Story
Jimochi: NO
MonsterMuscles: You are NOT allowed to tell that story and you know it
Taeraefic: I wanna hear the story
bbygorl: You really really don’t -Suga
Jimochi: Hi Suga-Hyung
9:45pm
Jimochi: Oh
Jimochi: Okay
bbygorl: Don’t take it personal he does that to everyone who isn’t me
Jimochi: You’d think being in a group for ten years would change things, but it doesn’t
Jimochi: Let that be a lesson to our new youngins
Motha: We only have a 2.5 year contract…
Jimochi: GOOD BECAUSE THEN YOUR FRIENDS CAN’T BETRAY YOU
MonsterMuscles: I think it's Jimin’s bedtime
Criminal: Ooh you still have a bedtime
Criminal: Weak
Kibum: Taemin it’s bedtime for you as well
Criminal: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME
Criminal: YOU’RE NOT MY DAD
Kibum: No but I can get your dad to call you right now
Kibum: Or I can send Jinki-hyung to your house
Sunmi: And this is why i'm a soloist
Chungha: Amen
WoongkiBoi: Men?
Taeraefic: No men
WoongkiBoi: Men?
Taeraefic: No men
WoongkiBoi: Awwwww
WoongkiBoi: You’re no fun
Holland: Everyone go to sleep before I kick you all from this chat
Jan 2 2:14am
Somi: Hey guys!
Somi: Booooo you’re all asleep
Somi: :(