Chapter Text
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, July 16th… bears no significance to him whatsoever. This young man is you. Your name is Scout Jemmings. You’re 17 years old and live in Boston, Massachusetts. You love nothing more than going fast. Speed is everything to you. You have seven older brothers, each dumber than the last. Well, other than your oldest one. He’s cool when he’s not busy hurling baseballs at you that you left in areas he dubs his territory. Together you all live in 3 large adjacent apartments that you share the rent for. Your mom lives a few miles away and your dad is usually on business trips, so you don’t see him much. You’re really good at baseball, partly because of your swiftness and partly because you carry the bat with you after you hit the ball and attack any opponent who dares to get near you. For some reason, every single damn umpire always makes unfair calls against you and kicks you out of the game. You aim to get into the Red Sox no matter what. Although you would never ever let anyone know about this, you have a severe fear of rainbows. You enjoy playing first person shooters with your friends, even though most of you tend to get a bit overly enthusiastic about it. You absolutely LOVE hats.
You suddenly get the urge to inspect your room. Coating the walls are various posters of Red Sox legends. You give a bro-fist to Babe Ruth, hurting your knuckles in the process. That was kinda dumb. In the corner of your room is your awesome computer. It’s hella fast. It’s mostly for chatting with friends, playing games and shopping for random shit that catches your eye. You don’t ever look up baseball stats because who needs to once they’re all memorized? Okay, you made that up. You’re not some weirdo supergenius like some of those knuckleheads rivals friends you know. In another corner sits your soda collection. You love spending your money on weird, unheard of sodas that are rather unhealthy, and can often cause dangerous side effects. In another corner is the door to your room and in the last corner is… aww HELL no. One or more of your brothers left some Yankees shit with writing about how great they are right on your baseball card collection just to piss you off. Well, they succeeded but now they’re in a lot of fucking trouble. They better know to stay out of your sight for today. After tearing up the offending material, you go back to your chair and sit down, satisfied with the exploration of the room you already know. Okay, now what?
Oh, well you guess that answers the question. Someone has been messaging you during your voyage of the residential room. Better check out what he has to say.
criticalUrine [CU] began pestering umpireAbsconder [UA]
CU: Oy.
CU: Scout.
CU: You there?
CU: Message me when you get back, k?
criticalUrine [CU] ceased pestering umpireAbsconder [UA]
umpireAbsconder [UA] began pestering criticalUrine [CU]
UA: oh hey
UA: whats up witchoo
CU: Good, you’re back.
CU: Listen, will you do a favor for me?
UA: hmmmmmmmmmmm......
UA: MMMMMMMMMMMMM......
UA: nah
CU: Can you cut out your little 4-year old behavior for just a moment and here me out?
UA: hmmmmmmmmmmm......
CU: Stop.
UA:MMMMMMMMMMMMM......
CU: No.
UA: alright
CU: K, thank you.
CU: So you heard of that new Suburb game or whatever it’s called?
UA: uhhh
UA: no
CU: Oh, bloody hell, I knew you’d be useless.
UA: no wait
UA: i think one of my brahs got it
UA: its logo is a green house puzzle or something right
CU: I really have no clue, I don’t bother with most games.
UA: ya
UA: youve said that so many times that i dont even waste my time talkin about most a them with you
UA: WANKER
CU: K, whatever. It sounds like you can probably get your hands on it which is good.
CU: The thing is, TU’s acting obsessed with the damn game and won’t leave me alone about playin it with him.
CU: I think it has something to do with building or architecture.
UA: pfft
UA: huuuge suprise
CU: I’m not interested, so will you humor him and play it? He won’t leave me alone.
UA: iunno
UA: it sounds hellz of borin
UA: if all im doing is building a lil doll house for a guy who wheres a hard hat to bed
CU: Yeah, I know.
CU: But I don’t think that’s all there is to it.
CU: TU has got GU playing, and I don’t think a game about playing house would tempt ‘im.
UA: alrite
UA: i guess ill talk to gu and see wut this is all about
UA: you can tell tu that i might play
CU: Fine that.
CU: Thanks for being helpful for once.
UA: yeah yeah
UA: you dont need to tell me im awesome
UA: i already no that
CU: Oh, shut your bloody, disgusting windpipe.
UA: love you to <3
umpireAbsconder [UA] ceased pestering criticalUrine [CU]
Well, this is interesting. You’re kind of pissed off about not being told about it. What’s so great about stupid CU that you would be unwanted? You are about to send a message to GU to ask what this dumb game is about and why you weren’t invited. However, it seems that he’s offline at the moment. You’re REALLY stoked right now and are not in the mood to talk to Mr. Chucklelut McHardhat. You might as well just go down stairs and look around for those idiots who vandalized your beautiful collection. You better be careful. Even though you’re one of the most adept at fighting in the family, it’s not uncommon for you to get jumped by multiple brothers at once. Your apartments are a very crazed environment, where natural selection chooses who is dominant. You step outside of your room ready for whatever awaits you.