Chapter Text
TU: Where do you want me to deploy the devices?
GU: Put em in the living room
TU: Doe?
TU: Are you aware that your living room is full of dead raccoons?
GU: Dont worry those are just my pets
GU: Wait DEAD?!?
You are Jane. You charge out of your room and dash into the living room to find that all of your beloved raccoons have somehow perished. They are lying on their backs; tongues lolling out of their mouths. You drop to the floor in front of Sergeant Nibbles and lament what has happened. Around you, various instruments are dropped by Dell, but you ignore him. He starts poking you with a card in an attempt to get your attention. You still don’t care. A noise comes from upstairs, and then you see your laptop levitating over to you.
TU: Doe, we need to get you out of here as soon as possible.
TU: Dagnabbit.
TU: You better not spend the next hour crying.
TU: I know that this is sad, but you can worry about it once you’re through.
TU: Do I really need to bring you your computer just to contact you?
GU: SHUT UP
GU: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
GU: YOU ALL UNDERSTAND
GU: I MEAN DONT UNDERSTAND
TU: I’m sorry you lost your pets.
TU: But please don’t give up because of some raccoons.
TU: You know, you can still bring one back to life and talk to it if you throw it into your sprite.
TU: I’m not sure if I would recommend that, but you’re the one choosing.
GU: I can?
GU: Wait I can!
GU: THANK YOU DELL
You run over to the cruxtruder, that device Scout used to get his sprite, and grab the handle. With your well-above average strength, you break it open and release your sprite in a green flash of light. The cruxtruder displays the time 2:30.
The kernelsprite hovers in front of you but you give it no time to do anything as you grab Sergeant Nibbles and hurl him into the orb. With a bright flash of light, the raccoon is absorbed. The sprite now has the head of a raccoon in the center of it along with a tail.
JANE: Sergeant Nibbles?
RACCOONSPRITE: ⍌⍇⍚⍙⍦⍸⎍⎐⏀⎵⎶⍾⍿⍹⍱⍰⍝⍒
JANE: What
RACCOONSPRITE: ⎏⎿⏃⏂⏓⏖⏔⏕⎔⍴⍾⍵
JANE: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN
JANE: YOU ARENT MAKING ANY SENSE
GU: Dell
GU: Nibbles is making gibberish sounds
TU: Yep.
TU: It won’t be able to talk to you until you’re in the medium.
TU: WHICH IS ALL THE MORE REASON TO QUIT GOOFING AROUND AND ENTER ALREADY DAGNABBIT.
GU: Fine
GU: Ill do the stuff
GU: So
GU: Uhhhh
GU: Where do I start again
TU: *sigh*
TU: I’m gonna give you a sylladex card.
TU: I’ve already deployed it on that table over there.
TU: You stick it in the punch designix.
TU: Take the cruxite dowel from the cruxtruder and put into the punch designix.
TU: Take that and put it in the alchemiter and then destroy whatever comes out.
GU: All I understood was blahblahblahblahblah
GU: In other words
GU: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
TU: Wait, how much time do you have left?
GU: Uhh
GU: 6 seconds
TU: WHAT?!
TU: DOE YOU’RE GOING TO DIE!!!
As you realize what the timer means, your eyes widen.The clock goes from three to two to one.You hear a fiery sound outside and brace for impact. Suddenly, a red wave of light passes through your house as the sound of clockwork flows into your ears and everything. Just. Stops.
You open your eyes, realizing you’re alive. In a daze you walk to the window and look outside. A giant meteor hangs right above your house. Suspended. You don’t understand any of what’s happening, but you sure as hell don’t question it. Instead, you take the card and complete the tasks necessary to escape, remembering what Scout did. The alchemiter creates a small barrel which you break with your shovel.
Your house starts to glow, and then you leave the face of the Earth.