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If someone were to ask Kevin Day how long he’s been in love with both of his roommates, he would answer “I’m not.”
He would also be lying.
He would probably squint his eyes and rub his right earlobe (coincidentally, both his roommates know that’s his tell for when he’s uncomfortable. If he rubs the left one, he’s horny. He hopes his roommates don’t know that part.) and politely tell you to mind your business. Always a gentleman, he is.
His first love was Neil Josten. Kevin had been holding an open house session for his apartment —which he could afford on his own but made him feel too lonely— where he had two extra rooms available, one for a roommate, one for storage. When Neil walked in, Kevin thought to himself ‘That’s the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.’ After what he hoped was a very subtle once-over later, Kevin spotted the ‘he/him’ pin on his jacket, and adjusted his thought to ‘the prettiest man’. His bright blue eyes lit up Kevin’s dull living room, making him feel slightly embarrassed for how little he had done with the place, but he could already imagine how colorful his home would feel with Neil living there.
His second love was Andrew Minyard, who was only relegated to second because he walked in a few minutes after Neil. He had white-blond hair (still does), dark, thick eyebrows that made Kevin’s insides swoop (again, still does), and a handsome scowl that looked like a challenge to remove.
Everyone else had been sent home, and in a fit of absolute panic combined with anxiety, lust, and what he hates to describe as FOMO, he blurted out “I have two rooms available.”
So, the real answer to the question is ‘Ever since he met them.’
Kevin, who his yearbook described as the ‘bravest’, ‘smartest’ and ‘most passionate nerd’, would only live up to one of those three. He chose to acknowledge his feelings for his roommates, got really, supremely wasted one night, and told the whole sordid tale to his father who laughed in his face and then cleaned his sick up after him, and then shoved those feelings deep inside where no one could reach them. Neil and Andrew are his friends, his closest friends even, and he would hate to ruin that with his greed to kiss them stupid and get them off.
So, they do what normal best friends who happen to be roommates do. They hang out every night, go out to clubs where they dance and drink (and somehow don’t hook up with anyone which always makes Kevin sigh in relief, and then he pushes the thought to the side), order take-out where they switch turns who decides what to eat and 90% of the time it’s pizza, watch tv-shows together, stare at each other meaningfully except Kevin is never able to discern the actual meaning. He just knows sometimes he needs to go jerk off about it (after rubbing his left earlobe).
Luckily, he has something to distract himself. See, his roommates don’t really know about his… second life.
Queen of the night
@queenofthenight
25, he/him, bi?, currently (re)watching: AftT, currently (re)reading: AftT
122 following - 3.681 followers
He might be… famous on Twitter. Specifically, he might be a little famous in the AftT fandom on Twitter.
AftT, or All for the Throne, is a book series that was adapted into a television show and is currently on its fourth season. At first, Kevin would watch the show by himself. He had discovered it accidentally while browsing upcoming book adaptations and found himself hooked. He read all the available novels and binged the already aired seasons and became obsessed by the intriguing storylines of a bunch of young adults in the middle ages trying to survive murders, revolts, war, their own toxic families,...
It wasn’t really something he was able to hide from his roommates for long. Andrew asked him about the books he was reading, and Kevin tried to hide his excitement as he borrowed them. Neil once walked in on Kevin watching a rerun of the latest episode on their shared flatscreen TV and had dropped himself into the couch, his feet in Kevin’s lap, and had watched until the end.
Somewhere in the middle of all that, Kevin had started a Twitter account. The moment he had caught up with the show so he could catch episodes as they were airing, he stumbled upon a whole heap of people discussing his favorite show online. It was a little hard to manage at first considering he had never used Twitter before, but he eventually made a name for himself. Literally. Kevin’s ‘queenofthenight’ account has one of, if not the biggest followings in the fandom, a fact Kevin refuses to think about too much because that’s pressure he doesn’t need. He just likes to share his opinions on the show, his headcanons about the characters, occasionally his predictions, and most of all, the interactions with other fans of the show.
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
What was your favorite part of the episode? Personally, I’m so pleased Melina finally told her uncle off and she managed to escape the castle.
all for the pain amirite @biggiantpupper
the credits, cause they’re loud enough to mask my tears
thom’s next husband @thomsleftnipple
when thom said ‘move im gay’ #isthatnotwhathappened
A.J. Reynolds @ajreynolds
aren’t u married btw whats with the name
thom’s next husband @thomsleftnipple
he’s one of my free passes ;)
A.J. Reynolds @ajreynolds
he’s……fictional
9894651568463218 @978948651948946415
Am i the only one who thinks uncle roberts kinda hot tho
ronny mcdonny @bebitterorbetter
Yes.
ronny mcdonny @bebitterorbetter
Not that I care but how the fuck do you remember your username.
leon - new chapter every sunday! @permasinning
yeah go suck on a massive spikey cock uncle rob
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
You’re always so eloquent.
leon - new chapter every sunday! @permasinning
what can i say i have a way with words, especially when there are dicks involved
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
Not everything has to be about sex…
leon - new chapter every sunday! @permasinning
i meant uncle rob, pervert ;-) get your mind out of the gutter
Kevin blushes and feels like he’s been duped, which wouldn’t be the first time after an interaction with Leon. He stretches out on the sofa while the aftershow is playing in the background, with both his roommates also messing around on their phones or laptops.
It’s become their Saturday night tradition; cook dinner or order in, have some pre-drinks, and watch the newest episode of ‘All for the Throne’ together.
Neil gets up to grab everyone some new drinks and Kevin refreshes his timeline, something he can’t help but do religiously after a new episode has aired. He just loves finding out everyone’s opinions.
leon - new chapter every sunday! @permasinning
guys would u hate me if my next fic had tentacles
leon - new chapter every sunday! @permasinning
I mean more than usual
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
are u thinking plants or octopi
leon - new chapter every sunday! @permasinning
I love your giant fucking brain rick
Leon is one of Kevin’s closest internet friends. The friendship was very slow to start, which is entirely Kevin’s fault, as Leon is a very good fanfiction author for the fandom who specializes in smut, and Kevin was too scared to talk to him outside of leaving kudos on everything he published the same day it came out.
One day, potentially induced by some slight vodka usage, Kevin had tweeted out the link to one of Leon’s fics. Then, because he wasn’t embarrassed enough already, he replied to himself, directly linking Leon’s account and adding ‘wowfuck’.
The next morning while he was pretending not to have a hangover with Neil giggling over his oatmeal and Andrew inhaling coffee like it was one of his ‘five-a-day’, Kevin had had hundreds of notifications. None of them stuck out like ‘leon - wowfuck @permasinning quote-tweeted your tweet: ‘sgsergrqrgser TIL my favorite aftt account reads my porn’.
The chance to delete and deny had well and truly passed, so Kevin owned up to it, told himself it was fine if three thousand people knew he liked reading fics where two men were so in love/lust with each other they had to suck each other’s cocks in every single room in the castle. It was a very well-written fic, okay?
It had gotten him a random wave of new followers, and as Leon tells it, it had gotten him a lot more readers, so Kevin can only be thankful to his own drunk self.
Neil tosses and turns in his bed, urging his body to fall asleep again but knowing it won’t. He heard Kevin waking up, padding softly on the floor because he’s a sweetheart who knows Neil stays up late and needs to sleep in, then starting their coffee machine for when Andrew would wake up, whistling along to a tune on the radio and frankly, Neil had been overwhelmed with some kind of emotion in his chest that made him wide awake and horrified at whatever his body was doing to him. Was he…getting wet? From hearing Kevin’s morning ritual?
Now Andrew’s awake too, having smelled the coffee probably, and Neil can hear their muffled talking in the kitchen, Andrew’s deep voice really managing to punch through Neil’s walls. Fuck. Neil looks down at his own body with a raised eyebrow. He’s definitely getting wetter.
It doesn’t help that the reason he woke up three hours earlier than usual was that he had a dream about his roommates. Neil kicks the offending pillow he had been humping off the side of his bed, to be dealt with the next time he tidies his room, in a few months or so.
He lies still for a few minutes trying to decide if he wants to try falling back asleep; risk giving his roommates heart attacks by getting up before ten a.m. or to take care of whatever’s going on in his boxers.
His mind is still filled with images from the dream.
They say you dream about the last thing you think about before going to sleep, and Neil should really stop writing explicit fanfiction deep into the night if he wants to avoid dreaming about getting eiffel-towered by his closest friends and longtime crushes.
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!!
@permasinning
im just a twink,, standing in front of a himbo,, asking to be loved
he/they 23 and stoopid - permasinning on ao3! - 18+ only!!
69 following - 597 followers
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
dp sounds fun in theory but at what cost
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
im gonna wait til my roommates are gone and i will update you on said cost
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
gods bless whoever of you it was that showed me the bad dragon website
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
who needs lube when u got a wap amirite ladies
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
What’s a wap?
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
Well Adjusted Person
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
That doesn’t sound right
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
google it if u don’t believe me
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
you’re going to break him leon
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
Ah. I see.
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
*bottom emoji*
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
I still suggest having lube nearby if you’re using two of Bad Dragon’s designs. Especially at the same time.
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
@bigdickrick6969 you were wrong i am the broken one
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
@queenofthenight you’re so right king thank you for your advice
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
Use coupon code ‘queenofthenight15’ at check-out for 15% off.
leon - last chapter this sunday!!!! @permasinning
YOURE THE ONE THAT LINKED ME VVGIFEVFIQSVGVDS
He doesn’t actually DP himself, though only because Andrew is still in the apartment and Neil knows he’s a screamer when he gets going. He does have a few dildos in different colors and sizes in the drawer under his bed, in very creative shapes. He doesn’t need to justify them, but if someone were to ask, it technically counts as research to make his fanfiction more realistic. Well. As realistic as a tentacle dildo can be.
It’s taken him a while to get a better sense of his sexual identity, and honestly, it’s still a big mess most days, but he knows he has a working libido and prefers to quench his thirst with silicone toys rather than to even think of going out and meeting someone, let alone allowing someone else to touch his body.
It’s actually a little ironic Neil made himself a household name in the smut writing game when he’s pretty sure he’s somewhere on the asexuality spectrum. Sex with his toys: hell yes. Sex with strangers: hell no. Sex with his roommates: …
Alright. So he’s a walking fanfiction cliché. ‘And they were roommates.’
It’s not just that they’re hot (but to be clear; they’re very hot), Neil had to go and be stupid and fall in love with them both.
Kevin is a giant teddy bear of a man who forces Neil to drink smoothies but will rub his feet any time Neil pretends they hurt. He’s ripped to absolute shreds from going to the gym daily but he refuses to wear tight shirts to show it off, a fact Neil considers a crime against humanity. He has a sneaking suspicion Kevin has a nipple piercing he’s trying to keep hidden. Neil wants to find out and also get it in his mouth.
He was an amazing listener when Neil was wondering if he wanted top surgery, did tons of research and offered to call hospitals and surgeons for him, and gave him a three-hour-long cuddle session when he decided he didn’t want to do it after all.
Neil thinks about that afternoon often. They had settled on the couch, Neil’s head tucked into Kevin’s stomach, the natural sounds his body made soothing to his ear. Kevin’s big hand was slowly running paths across Neil’s back. Every now and then Neil would look up at him, and Kevin would look back, and Neil would count in his head how long he could do it, how long he could give almost everything away with just his eyes before chickening out.
Andrew had walked in shortly afterward and Kevin had gently deposited Neil on the couch cushion before starting on dinner.
Andrew is a strange character, but then again, Neil supposes you could say that about him too. He’s quiet, but always paying attention, listening, remembering. He memorizes the shopping lists so Neil and Kevin make it a game to add on stuff at the last minute when he’s going out the door to see if he’ll slip up and forget something. Andrew never does.
He’s the worst cook out of all of them, his eating habits are an absolute mess but he eats what you feed him, and so Kevin feeds him a healthy-ish diet. Neil feeds him his favorite ice cream. It’s a good balance.
He has a twin brother he calls every other day but who Neil has never met. Apparently, he lives a few states over with his girlfriend of six years, which is why they’ve never seen him, but Neil suspects there’s a little more to it than that.
If Kevin’s a big teddy bear, Andrew is a ripped kangaroo. Looks unassuming (if you ignore the absolute lack of expression on his face), but is beefy all over. Luckily for Neil, Andrew doesn’t tend to hide away his physique, so Neil knows perfectly well just how thick his thighs are, how big his arms feel, and how squishy his pecs are. (Neil fell on them once. On accident. Promise.)
Falling in love with Kevin had been a slow and gentle drop, but falling in love with Andrew was like a punch to the gut.
He already knew he liked Kevin, thought that was his only problem, but one day Andrew was helping Neil cut his hair just the way he likes it and his warm, sturdy hand had brushed some stray hairs away before landing heavily on the skin between his neck and his shoulder. Chills ran up and down Neil’s entire body and when he looked in the mirror to see his own spooked expression, he realized instantly. “Fuck,” he said, and when Andrew’s thumb rubbed his thumb over his nape, his body shivered. “Fuck,” he repeated and laughed awkwardly. “You did so good.”
Sometimes Neil rubs the back of his neck and gets a little flustered, still.
The feelings, Neil supposes, would also help him write realistic fanfiction when it comes to romance, angst, miscommunication, but why do that when writing about someone getting pegged is so much easier.
Andrew cracks his knuckles, a habit detested by everybody who’s ever seen him do it, but impossible to stop. His pinky doesn’t crack, and Andrew considers it the family disappointment. His twin brother’s pinky cracks. Andrew cracks it every time he sees it out of spite.
Currently, he’s cracking his fingers because he can hear one of his roommates masturbating. Today it’s Neil. Out of Neil and Kevin, Neil is the vocal one, though he doubts Neil knows that about himself, considering the way he just goes at it when Andrew and Kevin are in the apartment. Kevin is more of a grunter. Besides that, he tends to give himself away when he starts rubbing on his earlobe.
Sometimes Andrew wonders if he has a tell of his own, but that thought process has no positive outcome, so he immediately stops thinking about that. He hopes he doesn’t. He tries his hardest (heh) to keep as quiet as possible, to wait until he’s alone, or at the very least until everybody else is asleep. That last one is a little trickier since Neil is a night owl and stays up typing on his computer for hours on end. Lord knows what that twink is up to.
He’s frustrated. In general with life, with his job, with the last episode of All for the Throne killing off one of Andrew’s favorite characters, with the old lady in the grocery store who took the last jar of crunchy peanut butter, which Andrew needed, it was on his list, it’s what Kevin likes to eat and Andrew always makes sure to bring everything on his list, God damn it, woman, what does it take to just hand the jar over to him just once— Andrew clears his throat. Frustrated sexually too. Who wouldn’t be when both your roommates are both your types, are just barely unattainable, walk around half-naked all the time, masturbate without checking if there’s anybody else home.
His phone pings and it gives him the perfect excuse to release all that pent-up anger. Time to obliterate someone online.
not a spam account
@bigdickrick6969
24, gay, he/him, user name is accurate, don’t poke me if you can’t handle the backlash, i give a lot harder than i take it
25 following - 237 followers
Pinned tweet 🧷
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
the transphobia in the aftt fandom is growing and extremely hurtful: a thread 🧵
↳See 94 replies
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
raise ur hand if you have suffered hornily at the hand of @permasinning
leon - brainstorming new fic hehe @permasinning
oh no 😎 not the horny suffering
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
*raises hand tentatively*
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
@kingrobftw delete your account.
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
@melinahatersquad u wanna explain why i did one casual search and found 14 racist tweets on your account
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
@hotaftttea don’t make me write an essay on the aftt fandom’s rampant bi-erasure problem istg
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
im ready to piss some people off and do some fandom spring cleaning ✌
leon - brainstorming new fic hehe @permasinning
doing the lords work biggus dickus
Andrew is pretty sure this isn’t what his therapist meant when she told him to find a coping mechanism, but telling people they’re trash and giving them an itemized list pointing out exactly why they and their opinions belong in the garbage is fun and freeing and it makes Andrew happy. Isn’t that the goal, really?
He adores finding shitty tweets and giving himself about an hour to think of exactly how to take them down in the most poetic way, and sure, he doesn’t mind the attention it gets him sometimes.
At first, he was just defending his favorite tv show. People are entitled to their own opinions, but not when they are wrong . Then, they started attacking his favorite characters, so obviously he had to take them down a notch. That evolved into finding some like-minded people online, people who he could theoretically call friends if he was into parasocial relationships, which he isn’t. That being said, if anybody talks shit about those people who aren’t technically his friends, Andrew won’t hesitate to take a bitch down. He prides himself on it.
When he first discovered queenofthenight, Andrew wasn’t sure how to feel about them. They were a popular account, so the punk in Andrew was already revolting and buzzing with distrust, but his opinions were solid, in line with Andrew’s most of the time, and when they weren’t, queenofthenight wasn’t afraid to give as good as he got in a discussion with Andrew. That’s almost a little hot, Andrew would say if he was into parasocial relationships. Which he isn’t.
His idol, next to queenofthenight, though, is a fanfiction author he has been following since he discovered them a few weeks after he first watched All for the Throne; permasinning.
He’s not the most popular author in the fandom (which Andrew's inner punk appreciates), but the way he writes his stories, the way he describes the characters and their emotions, despite the fact that the story usually consists of heavy explicit sexual scenes and little world-building, Andrew is addicted to them.
For some reason, permasinning falls under scrutiny a lot, and Andrew found himself drawn to them, and insistent on defending him online. He didn’t expect the person themselves to reach out and thank him, to write him a pornographic fic of his favorite two characters in highly compromising positions, but here they are. Friends for life. If you believe in parasocial relationships.
“I don’t understand why we have to clean the entire apartment when Kevin’s dad is coming over,” Neil huffs, carrying a box of recycling to the front door.
Andrew watches Neil’s dramatic acting of almost falling while carrying the heavy thing before grabbing it out of his hands easily, suppressing his smirk at Neil’s proud look.
“We wouldn’t have to clean the entire apartment if we just kept it tidy regularly,” Kevin shouts from the pantry, where he’s… Fuck if Andrew knows, painting the skirting boards or something.
Andrew watches Neil scratch his stomach, his shirt riding up to show off his small waist and the freckle right next to his belly button. There’s scarring too that Andrew never asked about, which seems mostly healed but a sensitive topic nonetheless, and considering his own scars that his roommates never even looked twice at, he keeps quiet about them.
“So,” he says, thankful his voice isn’t as gruff as he expected it to be. “Is it time to tackle the garbage fire that is your room?”
“You’re gonna help?” Neil asks.
“Can I? Or do you need time to hide your secrets?” It was mostly a joke when it left Andrew’s mouth, but the not-so-distant memory of Neil’s masturbatory sounds ring in his head, and Neil looks like he’s remembering the same thing.
“Give me five minutes. No, ten.”
Andrew swallows a scream. “Sure thing.”
He makes everyone an iced coffee, chews on an ice cube, and savors the crunch. Kevin barely looks up from where he’s cleaning a mark underneath the sofa, so Andrew pokes his butt with his big toe before leaving his drink on the coffee table. He almost doesn’t use a coaster, but then figures Kevin might actually have a breakdown if he notices a fresh stain.
Neil returns, hair messy and cheeks red, says, “Radical” before downing his drink in one and clapping his hands.
“Let’s do this.”
Neil’s room looks like something exploded in it, which isn’t a surprise, Andrew’s seen it before, but this is really the most apocalyptic it’s been. There’s pillows thrown around the room, a duvet on the bed and one hanging off the door of his wardrobe, towels everywhere, laundry which Andrew can’t decipher if it’s clean or dirty, books, a million chargers that don’t even look like they’re for a phone or laptop. He’s actually shocked it doesn’t smell like a high school locker room, but instead, there are hints of sandalwood and vanilla. Fuck, Andrew loves vanilla.
There are some cardboard boxes pushed underneath Neil’s bed, so for Andrew’s own sanity, he ignores that they exist. He sets about shoving what he knows to be dirty laundry in one specific corner, takes the duvet covers off of both duvets as Neil really can’t explain what the difference between the two is.
It’s when he starts taking pillow covers off that Neil starts laughing hysterically. “Wait, haha, no, don’t mind those.”
“What.”
Neil grins ruefully and takes the pillow Andrew’s still holding out of his hands. “I’ll do the pillows.”
“Okay…” Andrew says. “Should I carry on with the laundry?”
Neil’s eyes grow wider as he takes in everything that’s on the floor. “Uh…”
Andrew looks around the room and attempts to find a spot that won’t make Neil freak out. “The desk?”
Neil seems to think about that for a minute. “Sure, the desk is good.”
Andrew nods, starts piling up the books on his desk and dividing them into fiction and non-fiction, throws the garbage away, and dusts the crumbs off. He’s almost finished when he decides to open the curtains more and open up the window when he sees it.
Right there, on Neil’s window sill.
He’s not sure what he’s looking at at first, a row of twenty or so figurines in different shapes and colors. They don’t look like people, or animals, Andrew really can’t tell what they’re supposed to be when some of them start looking…phallic. And then all of them start looking phallic. And then there’s some with obvious balls. At least two are shaped like a tentacle. They’re dicks. They’re all dicks.
Neil has a whole window sill of miniature monster cocks, just out there for decoration. Andrew thinks. Hopes. They’re really tiny, how else would they— He can’t breathe for a hot minute. He opens the window and gasps as quietly as he can.
He clears his throat before turning around and hoping his Minyard genes that usually turn him as pink as possible aren’t working today before saying “Desk’s done,” and fleeing to the living room.
He opens up the windows in the living room for good measure too. He debates sticking his head under the kitchen tap, but Kevin put some sort of cleaning spray on it so he can’t even do that.
“Kevin,” Andrew hisses. He has no idea where the fucker is, but he refuses to talk any louder. “Kevin!”
Kevin’s head pops out from behind the bathroom door. “Yeah?”
Andrew doesn’t run , but he does almost slip on his socks, barely holding on to the doorframe in time.
“Kevin, I need you to take me the fuck out of this apartment right this second.”
“What? Why are you whispering?”
“Give me an excuse, I swear I’ll owe you.”
Kevin looks at Andrew, looks at where Neil is humming some annoying pop song in the wrong tune in his room, looks at Andrew again. “What did you find?”
Andrew starts hitting Kevin, striking gold when he slaps him in the left tit and Kevin winces. “Fuck you, you little gremlin shit, fucking fine!”
“We’ll go do the laundry, go grab Neil’s piles,” Andrew says after his mind brings him the perfect excuse to leave. “And look at his window sill. Subtly.”
He waits while Kevin goes inside. He can tell when Kevin notices them because he can hear the way his voice cracks and he squeaks out, “We’ll be back in an hour. Or two.”
They remain in complete silence until the first two loads of laundry start spinning around, and Kevin says, “Well.”
“Hm,” Andrew says.
“Do you think—”
Andrew looks up and waits for the rest of the sentence Kevin is struggling with.
Kevin grimaces. “Do you think he knows what they are?”
“Do you know what they are?” Andrew asks, eyebrow lifted in surprise.
“Penises,” Kevin whispers, which at any other time Andrew would mock him ruthlessly for. “Tiny miniature Bad Dragon dildo replicas.”
That’s a lot more info than Andrew was hoping to get, honestly.
“How do you— You know what, never mind.”
“I mean, how else would he—” Kevin keeps thinking out loud. “ Surely, he knows.”
“He’s a grown man,” Andrew reminds him, and frankly himself as well. “If he wants a window sill full of miniature dildos, that’s his right.”
“Do you think he—”
“Good fucking God, Kevin, finish a sentence in one go.” Andrew’s a bit twitchy, maybe. He hasn’t smoked all day, and can’t with Kevin around because he likes giving him this very disappointed look which doesn’t work on Andrew, it doesn’t , but it’s not exactly fun to look at, so he smokes when Kevin’s not around.
“Does he use them?” Kevin’s voice peters out at the end, and Andrew has to pretend he didn’t think about the same thing earlier.
Andrew pulls a series of faces he’s not sure about, and Kevin must understand the sentiment and conveys his own feelings just as confusingly until they’re just gesturing and shrugging like a pair of clowns.
“Do we need a roommate meeting?” Kevin asks, seemingly out of nowhere.
“About?”
Kevin blushes. Ah. “Rules for when you should… uh. How much noise— Like, when you’re allowed to...”
Andrew’s a little on edge still, so he wants to fuck with Kevin a little. “You want to decide when we get to come?”
Kevin turns delightfully pink. “No! Fuck, that’s not what I meant—”
He looks kinda cute all flustered, Andrew has to admit. He’s been biting his own bottom lip ever since they left the apartment, which left it plump and red, and Andrew’s finding it hard to look away.
Andrew pops a hard candy in his mouth and starts sucking on it, thinks Kevin is tracking the movement.
“I think you should be careful with that,” he says around the lemon drop.
“Hm?” Kevin says when he pulls his gaze off of Andrew’s mouth.
“Those same rules would apply to you.”
Kevin stares in confusion, so Andrew grins and rubs his left earlobe. Kevin turns a darker shade of pink. Andrew wonders how hot his skin is right now, wants to test the temperature of his cheek with his mouth, wants to bite it and suck a little mark on it.
Fuck, he’s horny. He clears his throat when the washing machine goes off, and they stand up to start putting everything in the dryers.
When everything’s ready, Andrew nudges Kevin who had been dozing off a little. “Come on, ten bucks says Neil fell asleep while cleaning up.”
He did not fall asleep.
When they come back into the apartment, Neil is sprawled out on the living room floor with the windows open.
“What are you doing?” Kevin squeaks.
Neil blinks at them. “Stroking a kitty.”
Andrew’s not really sure what answer Kevin expected, since that is what Neil’s doing, but surely he knows he didn’t need to say it like that.
“I can see that,” Kevin squeaks some more. “Where did you get it?”
“I got it from outside.”
“You stole it?”
“Kevin, fuck, mind your pitch,” Andrew winces.
Neil sits up and tugs his excuse for a shirt into place. “I didn’t steal him, he walked in.”
Kevin’s having a conniption, but a small one, so Andrew’s enjoying it for now.
“We can’t have pets!”
“Says who?” Neil asks while scritching the cat. It’s a pretty cat, Andrew won’t lie. He’s eager to join Neil on the floor and gain its affection.
“Our landlord!”
Neil scoffs. “So sic your dad on him if he complains. You know he’s eager to start a fight with the guy with the way he looks for any flaws in the apartment he can sue him over literally any time he visits.”
“That’s not why he visits,” Kevin says petulantly. Not cute. Not.
“It’s part of why he visits,” Andrew says, making Kevin roll his eyes.
“We are not keeping the cat!”
“What’s their name?” Andrew finally gives in and sits next to Neil, making little kissing noises at their new pet. “I know you already named them.”
Neil smirks proudly. “Sir Fat Cat McCatterson.”
Predictably, it only takes another ten minutes before Kevin joins them too, appalled at the idea of being left out, and a secret slut for fluffy animals.
They’re momentarily distracted from the big spring cleaning (in summer) they were doing, but once the light in the apartment starts to change to the golden hour they get back to work, leaving Neil to tackle the rest of his room and Andrew to his thoughts.
What Neil decides to do during his private time, or the things he buys for it is none of his business, and while he’s intrigued, interested, fascinated, he won’t mention it as long as Neil doesn’t.
What does keep him busy, though, is the fact that Kevin knew what they were. Instantly. Brand name and everything. Why does Kevin ‘being half-naked in my own house is improper’ Day know with just one glance where these tiny monster cocks came from?
It’s hot outside. This is an understatement, as it is the height of summer and their apartment’s aircon unit is broken (Kevin’s dad is writing up a scathing letter of complaint as we speak), every single store has run out of fans to sell, and their ice cube trays haven’t refrozen from when they made iced coffee earlier.
So. Neil is dying. He didn’t want to go fully tits out today, but a crop top over some athletic shorts (Mesh. Breathable. Cute.) was manageable.
He’s lying on the floor in what he hopes is the most shaded place, convinced that heat rises and thus if he stays on the floor he’ll always be safe, no matter the fact that their entire apartment is scorching hot and even Andrew escaped to go have ice cream with one of his friends.
Neil is very jealous, but he’s also lactose intolerant and Renee scares him a little.
Kevin has been locked up in his room all day, which is very rude because Neil is lonely and would like some attention, daytime tv stopped being interesting hours ago. Even Sir has retreated to his hiding spot underneath the sofa where the sun won’t reach. Neil wishes he could join him.
Sweat slides down his back, itching against the fuzzy baby hairs. This is bullshit. Neil sits up and squints in the direction he knows the sun is but is too blinded to accurately pinpoint. He knows how to read the light, he knows where the shade would be hitting by now, and he realizes that Kevin, that bastard, is enjoying a nice shade in his room right about now. That fucker has the smallest window too, he wouldn’t even be suffering that much.
He sits up with a grunt and sends a death-stare towards Kevin’s door. Pretty soon after he realizes it would be much more effective if Kevin was around to see it, so, with a lot of grunting and groaning, he pushes himself to his feet.
For a brief second, he thinks about knocking, but then a drop of sweat goes down his asscrack and he leans his forehead on the door, regretting being alive even.
As he’s whisking the door open, his mind provides him with the possibility Kevin is jerking off, but before he can decide if he’s absolutely against “accidentally” walking in on that, he’s already opened the door and Kevin is squinting at the influx of light.
“Close the door, stupid,” Kevin says from his starfish position on his bed.
Neil shuts the door behind him but remains speechless because. Kevin. He’s. Not wearing much of anything.
“You’re naked,” Neil says in a totally normal pitch, sounding very cool and collected, not at all affected by this state of events.
“I’m not naked ,” Kevin says, using air quotes very annoyingly, which Neil would comment on if he wasn’t too busy just staring at Kevin’s very nude body. “I have underwear on.”
Sure. It’s underwear. They’re also black briefs on a very nice muscular body, so like, barely.
Neil knew he was ripped. He knew it. Not only does Kevin give off ‘muscled but shy’ energy, he also gives off ‘secretly pierced’ energy and Neil knew it, he knew Kevin had a nipple piercing!
Neil wants to touch it. With his finger, his tongue, his pussy, God, he doesn’t care.
He’s staring. In an attempt to look away from Kevin’s obviously pierced and perky nipple, he considers Kevin’s underwear, and what lies beneath it, and good lord, this was a terrible decision, he doesn’t even remember why he came in here, he’s hotter and sweatier than before.
Kevin’s looking at him like he’s been talking, like Neil was meant to reply at some point and Kevin is giving him time, and since Neil’s brain is a) melted and b) under extreme duress, he decides to just lie down on the floor beside Kevin’s bed. This helps because it is a) the coolest place he’s found all day and b) he’s no longer able to look at Kevin’s cock outline.
He starts staring at the ceiling and praying to whoever’s listening that his cute, breathable, mesh shorts aren’t prone to showing any stains or wet spots.
The heat of summer settles down some, bringing much-needed breezes on Neil’s afternoon runs, where he can enjoy the sun, the wind, and the lack of his roommates' dick outlines.
He’s listening to his loudest, angstiest playlist on his headphones, trying to get inspiration for his latest story as he walks into the apartment. He kicks his shoes off, then sighs and puts them in the shoe rack because he knows Kevin will… not yell, but be disappointed in him if he leaves them there. And that sucks. Even without Neil having feelings for the guy, a disappointed look from Kevin will leave Neil down for a week.
He scritches Sir when he pops up to do a little twirl around Neil’s shins before moving towards his room, music still blasting in his eardrums.
Maybe he’ll start leaving subtle hints that he wouldn’t mind getting a second cat. Sir is lovely, an icon, the most important member of their household, but he definitely could use a buddy for when none of them are home. Getting Andrew and Kevin to accept Sir had been easier than expected, but this seems a little harder to achieve.
He takes off his running clothes, keeping just the boxers and a loose crop top for modesty’s sake on before grabbing a towel and an outfit to chill in, then heads to their bathroom. Before he can so much as move his items to one hand to open the door, it opens before him, and out walks Andrew.
A naked Andrew.
Right into Neil.
They collide in the middle of the hallway, so hard that Neil falls back on his ass, so when he looks up he can see everything hanging out (and good lord, it is a lot). It takes him a minute to look further up, to see Andrew mouthing words while looking…angry? Embarrassed? Very, very red?
Do not look back down.
Oh god, he still has his headphones in. He finally tugs them out and he’s met with the complete silence of the awkward situation hanging over them.
“Uh,” Neil says.
Andrew straightens and Neil can’t help himself, he does what he hopes is the fastest once over just so he can check out Andrew’s pecs, his chunky but clearly muscled middle, his fucking huge dick—
“When the fuck did you get home?!” Andrew asks, hands on his hips, which is really not helping the situation.
“I—” Neil can feel a squeak coming, so he refuses to say another word.
“Fucking…” Andrew puts his face in his hands. “Announce yourself!”
Neil frowns. He might be shooting himself in the foot here but… “Why are you naked?”
Andrew flushes and seems to notice the state he’s in. “Fuck!”
He walks over to his room, giving Neil a glorious view of his ass, which is also muscular, and the dimples in his lower back that Neil would like to dip his tongue into. He’s barely left before he returns wearing gray sweatpants and nothing else, so Neil almost swallows his tongue.
Andrew reaches out a hand, making Neil realize he’s still on their hallway floor on his ass, with the outline of Andrew’s cock printed on his eyelids. He takes a second to remember he probably felt it when he walked into Andrew, it must have pushed up against his own hips and he can’t remember it, god damn it .
That thing looks like it’ll hurt but honestly, Neil likes it when it hurts a little, he likes to push his own limits, and most likely, he is what the kids call a size queen .
“Are you gonna… get up?” Andrew’s still waiting to help Neil up, so Neil finally wakes from his daydream and stands.
He’s sweaty, wet (pointedly ignoring his own hard nipples that are clearly visible through his shirt), and he’s still carrying all the stuff for his shower, so he grimaces but hopes it looks like a smile and shrugs. “Haha, I’ll just…” He points behind him, which is not where the bathroom is. He tries again. Slightly closer.
“I— Yep,” Andrew says. He points towards his bedroom.
He waits long enough to watch Andrew disappear into his room, starts up the shower, and thinks about the fact that Andrew was just in here, naked. On a whim, he steps outside the bathroom, closes the door to minimize the sound of the water, and tiptoes towards Andrew’s room. He clenches when he can hear stifled grunting.
Kevin complained about all the hot water being gone when he got home, but honestly, Kevin can go suck a dick, Neil is going through a crisis.
abram 🔒
@asexualslut
follow requests will be ignored, irl besties only
7 following - 5 followers
abram 🔒 @asexualslut
why do both of my roommates have enormous cocks
abram 🔒 @asexualslut
the lord is actually testing me
Twitter group chat with ‘abram 🔒 @asexualslut ’, ‘wild thing 🔒 @umakemyheartsing ’ and ‘matt 🔒 @biggiantpupper2 ’
abram: ive been thinking maybe my username is kind of a lie
wild thing: oh no! u wanna talk about it bestie?
matt: is it about the cocks u saw
matt: u can be honest this is a safe space
abram: thanks matt
matt: anytime buddy
wild thing: what happened?
abram: im just uuuuugh
abram: all this time ive just been working under the motto that im a slut in theory right
abram: if im horny i use toys cause thats enough, i dont like people
matt: yeah?
abram: but i fucking like SOME people now
abram: and not just in a ‘haha wouldnt it be funny if i got an embarrassing crush on my roommates’ way cause i would be able to ignore that just fine as i could just fuck myself if i got too horny
wild thing: you can’t fuck a crush away
abram: what does it mean if i want sex with them
abram: like i figured myself out and i found a label that fit and it was all Fine
abram: but what now that i like both of them and want them to fuck me and then kiss me afterwards and fucking, idk go out for dates that are actually called dates and like, be together
abram: then what does that mean
wild thing: why does it have to mean anything?
wild thing: it’s not like you’re suddenly sexually attracted to everybody just because there are two exceptions
matt: buddy you’re in love? that’s nerve-wracking and stressful but also beautiful?
abram: ew
matt: i know, boys stink
wild thing: they really do
matt: hey
abram: hey
wild thing: not sorry for being right!
abram: valid
matt: do you think they like you too?
matt: they should, to be clear, if they know whats good for them
wild thing: i know you’re having a little freak out in ur pretty little head
wild thing: but think about it
wild thing: you know they care about you, you’ve told us what they’ve done for you
wild thing: if you feel like going for it, and telling them to try and get something started, you should
wild thing: if they’re not interested, they wouldn’t hurt you or be weird about it, because they obviously care
wild thing: but it’ll help you to know, probably
matt: and if they do hurt you i will beat their ass
wild thing: that too, we will absolutely beat their ass
abram: :( thanks guys ilu
wild thing: love you too bub
matt: plus think about it, if you end up together, there’s so much less manual labor for you cause you won’t have to fuck yourself anymore
abram: you’re a treasure in my life matt
matt: < 3
leon - new fic tomorrow @permasinning
hope u guys like fics about unrequited love haha
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969
or is it
all for the pain amirite @biggiantpupper
or is it
thom’s next husband @thomsleftnipple
or is it
Queen of the Night @queenofthenight
or is it
Kevin has been on fandom twitter for long enough to learn what love languages are and that his is ‘acts of service’. He’s prone to physical touch, and personally loves getting words of affirmation, but he can recognize it in himself. He’s a giver.
Right now, he’s in their kitchen, cooking up a storm preparing Andrew’s favorite meal in the whole wide world, Jajangmyeon. The ingredients aren’t easy to get, he will often have to go out of his way to get to their nearest Asian supermarket, but frankly, it’s worth it. It’s tasty food and Andrew always enjoys it.
“How was work?” Kevin asks while cutting the cabbage into neat strips. There’s a pile of sliced carrots beside it that keeps shrinking while Andrew’s sitting cross-legged on their countertop, stealing bites.
Andrew snorts and steals another carrot. “You don’t wanna know about my work, don’t ask about it.”
Kevin rolls his eyes and accepts the light punch Andrew delivers to his bicep in return. “Fine, how was your day?”
The house is pretty quiet when Neil’s not there, but he was hanging out with friends today and told them he would be staying the night so it’s just Andrew and Kevin in the apartment.
Andrew shrugs.
Kevin doesn’t really get worried when Andrew doesn’t reply. He gets into these very quiet moods, but Kevin knows they’re okay because he wouldn’t stick around otherwise, would hide out in his room or go out for a drive where he’ll inevitably smoke half a pack of cigarettes Kevin pretends not to know about.
When the carrot pile dwindles even more, Kevin chuckles and grabs a few more carrots out of the fridge to cut up. Andrew grabs one and sticks the whole thing in his mouth, and Kevin’s slightly worried he’ll choke on it before he bites a chunk off. Honestly impressive to see how deep that went.
He’s hoping the heat from the cooking will mask the redness in his face, and he turns to stir his sauce while Andrew crunches behind him.
“You excited about the final episode of the season?” Andrew asks, sliding over closer so he can see what Kevin’s doing.
“Obviously,” Kevin grins, too giddy if he lets himself think about it. He’s read the books, and so has Andrew, but it’s still exciting to be able to see the scenes happening on screen. There’s bound to be an amazing cliffhanger since season five is confirmed to start filming this fall. “Do you think we’ll get to see Melina on the throne?”
“They might keep it for next season. I just wanna see Robert’s murder scene if I’m honest.”
Kevin hums. “Would they show who does it?” It’s kept very vague in the novels on purpose, but the show might use it for a storyline.
“I’m betting it’ll be Thom.” Andrew points with what’s left of his carrot as Kevin tastes his sauce.
“Thom wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Kevin frowns.
“He would if the fly admitted to abusing his best friend.”
“Oh god,” Kevin starts imagining the implications of Thom finding out. “You’re right, he would kill him.”
“Deserved, too.” Andrew starts grinning. “We might even get a sex scene if Thom and Isaiah get reunited.”
Kevin flushes. He would enjoy that, but he’s not so sure how much he’ll enjoy that with Andrew and Neil right next to him on the sofa.
He finishes cooking in amiable silence, while Andrew makes faces at him, plays with Kevin’s ear, pokes his toe into Kevin’s right butt cheek. When it’s all served up after a final taste test, Andrew grabs his plate and says, “Hey, come here.”
When Kevin does, Andrew reaches out and swipes his thumb across his bottom lip. A brief glance shows him there was a hint of sauce before Andrew sucks the finger into his mouth.
“Tasty,” he smirks. “Thanks for dinner.”
Kevin licks his lip as Andrew moves to the living room. Tasty.
The library Kevin works at stays open twenty-four hours for one weekend a month, and this time Kevin has the absolute displeasure of having to work the six A.M. to two P.M. shift. He sleeps through his first two alarms, but this is why he has five, so he shuts them all down and does his morning stretches. He slips on some shorts to go and plug in the coffee maker when he notices the light coming from the living room.
Sir is asleep in his cat tower, his fluffy tail drooping over the side, but across from him on the couch, there’s someone else resting. Neil’s face is lit up by his laptop screen, which has haphazardly been left on their coffee table, almost like he shoved it aside while half asleep.
His head is almost falling off the side of the couch, one of his legs over the back of it, and Kevin’s sure he’ll be sore all day when he wakes up.
“Neil,” he whispers, trying not to trip over Neil’s accumulated mess of stuff. He pokes a finger at his shoulder. “ Neil. ”
“Mmno,” sleeping Neil says and slaps Kevin’s hand away. “Mmcomfy.”
“It’s the morning.”
“Mmno it’s not, it’s dark out.”
“Your eyes are closed.”
Neil blinks one eye open. “It’s still dark out. You tricked me.”
“It’s five A.M.” Kevin smiles. “Go sleep in your bed.”
Neil closes his eye again. “Can’t. Shan’t. Not able to move so I will perish here.”
Kevin sighs. “I’m going to turn on the coffee maker, which makes a lot of noise.”
Neil grumbles. “Hate you. Give me coffee too then.”
“You need sleep, babe.” Kevin winces at his own slip of the tongue and hopes Neil is too sleepy to have noticed.
Neil raises his arms in the air and predictably says, “Carry me.”
Well. Kevin knows he’s not getting out of this one easily, he does still need to have coffee and shower before heading out to work so, he relents.
“You wearing a binder?”
Neil pats himself down before confirming, “Nope, all good.”
He picks up Neil easily, a bridal carry under his shoulders and knees while Neil’s sleep-slow hands curl into his chest. He pats him once clumsily with his head leaning against Kevin’s shoulder and says, “Good boy.”
Kevin turns bright red, he’s sure. “I’m a man, not a boy.”
Neil pats him again and smiles, eyes still closed. “Good man-boy.”
He’s already fast asleep by the time Kevin has carried him to his room, avoiding about a dozen pillows around the floor, and he tucks him in. He gently tucks the hair that fell into his face to the side and watches Neil smack his lips in his sleep.
When he gets back to the living room after making himself a much-needed bowl-sized cup of coffee, he starts tidying up the space. Blankets get folded (he counts an alarming six of them), candy wrappers tossed into the trash, and water cups and tea mugs dumped into the kitchen sink for later (a respectable two of each, which is a definite improvement on Neil’s part).
Lastly, he goes to close Neil’s laptop but he stops in place when he spots a familiar website logo. It’s definitely the fanfiction website Kevin frequents. It is absolutely that website and Kevin spends far too long looking at it before he closes the laptop forcefully.
It’s none of his business. Neil is allowed to read fanfiction too. Hell, they probably all do, Kevin knows Andrew’s favorite character who died a few weeks ago appears in a ton of fanfiction, he’s bound to have found out fanfiction exists. It doesn’t mean anything.
He can only thank his lucky stars that the power goes out on a Friday because if this had happened tomorrow, and Kevin had missed All for the Throne’s season finale, he would have rioted in the streets.
As it stands, those same surrounding streets are dealing with a complete black-out, possibly even further out than that but Kevin isn’t willing to go outside and check. Luckily they’re all home and safe, but unluckily, they have no idea what caused it or how long it’s going to take.
Neil’s currently getting his scented candle collection out into the living room, Andrew’s pointing his phone’s flashlight at the fridge to consider which items will go bad if left uncooled (that can be eaten raw, to be clear) and Kevin’s snuggling Sir who is extremely unbothered, but Kevin needs the emotional support, thank you very much.
When all the candles are lit and the living room smells like a Bath and Bodyworks exploded in it, Kevin might even go as far as to call it cozy, homey, not terrifying.
Alright, so he’s not a huge fan of the dark. Mind your business.
There’s an extremely random collection of food out on the table, some tequila that Kevin knows can survive this black-out but will assist in drinking anyway, along with some chips because, according to Andrew, they paired well with the tequila.
So, they get a little drunk, get a little crunk, a little wasted. They’re having a blast playing board games in the semi-dark and Kevin forgets just how anxious he was, hanging out with his two best friends who he’s madly in love with. He also gets a little dramatic when he’s drunk.
There’s a lull in the game when Neil leaves for a bathroom break, so Kevin opens his phone for his self-assigned once-an-hour check since he has to save his battery life.
His timeline instantly refreshes, and he notices permasinning just tweeted.
leon - FINALE TOMORRO @permasinning
stuck in a blackout with my two hot bangable roommates isnt this how porn starts haha unless
Kevin blinks. Blinks again. Puts down his phone, looks around the room, and picks it up just to read it again.
Then, the funniest thing happens. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Andrew grabbing his phone. He recognizes that famous twitter blue. And how Andrew reads his timeline and brings his phone down.
Oh. Oh no.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Someone spoke. Apparently, it was Kevin.
“What?” Andrew’s gruff voice sounds distracted until he looks over and sees Kevin holding his phone. “What happened?”
Kevin can only hold up his phone. Andrew rolls his eyes before coming closer to read but as soon as he’s close enough to spot the username he backs off again. “Fuck.”
He turns around before immediately coming back to grab the phone out of his hand and tapping around. “ You’re queenofthenight?”
“Uh. Yeah. You know me?” Kevin feels like he’s frozen. “Why, who are you?”
“Nevermind that.”
“Andrew,” Kevin starts.
Andrew raises his finger to silence him, but Kevin has had alcohol and can’t be silenced.
“Do I know you?”
Andrew falls face-first into the sofa, smothering his own groans into a pillow before admitting in a muffled voice. “I’m bigdickrick.”
Kevin will blame the tequila for this one. “Six nine six nine?”
Andrew turns his head just to glower. “No, a different bigdickrick, Kevin, what the fuck do you think?”
“Don’t yell at me!”
“I’m not yelling!” Andrew yells. “And it’s sixty-nine sixty-nine, obviously!”
“Oh,” Kevin says. “Like the sex thing?”
Andrew rolls his eyes and throws a pillow at Kevin. “Yes, like the sex thing,” he says, using air quotes to mock him.
Their hissing match is broken up when they hear the squeak of the bathroom door.
“What are you guys yelling about?”
“I wasn’t yelling,” Andrew says.
“Were too,” Kevin says under his breath and gets another pillow thrown at his face.
In all of that chaos, he forgot that his phone, along with Andrew’s phone, was lying face-up on the coffee table, the incriminating evidence of their Twitter timeline right there in the open.
Neil looks at both of their faces, and can most likely feel the tension in the room because he doesn’t talk at all, just walks over to check out both of their screens.
“Ah,” he says. “Looks like my secret is out.”
“You don’t, uh…” Kevin winces. “Want to know who we are?”
“Shut up, Kevin,” Andrew hisses.
“Sure,” Neil says.
Kevin takes his phone, and types out a reply.
Queen of the night @queenofthenight
I can relate
Neil’s phone buzzes, and he swallows thickly when he reads his notification.
“And you?” He asks Andrew.
“Fuck you, Kevin,” he scowls before grabbing his phone.
Kevin’s own phone buzzes with the notification:
not a spam account @bigdickrick6969 replied to your tweet:
same tbh
He slowly turns to see how Neil’s taking it.
“I see,” Neil says.
The power comes back on.
“So let’s get things straight.” Neil hesitates before changing his statement. “Let’s get things clear.”
They’re sitting around the coffee table because the kitchen was too bright, the sofas seats were all facing the same way and Neil wanted them to be in a little circle.
“I’m into both of you,” Andrew starts. “Sexually and romantically.”
Neil nods and feels relief washing over him. “Yeah. I want us to be boyfriends.”
“Okay,” Kevin says, seeming to hype himself up for a second. “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you both.”
“Jesus Christ, Kevin,” Andrew says. “This isn’t a competition.”
Neil guffaws. “I mean… I mean, same, I think.”
They both look towards Andrew, who swears again. “Fuck, don’t look at me like that, I can’t handle that from both of you.” He bites his fingernail before finally admitting, “The reason you haven’t met my brother is that he won’t stop clowning me about my feelings for you guys.”
“We’re so stupid,” Neil says. “Oh my God, you’ve seen all my embarrassing tweets.”
Kevin pulls a face. “They’re not embarrassing.”
“My name is bigdickrick sixty-nine sixty-nine,” Andrew deadpans.
“You’ve both read my porn.”
“It’s good porn.”
“I told everyone I wanted to get dp’d.”
Andrew’s face says ‘ Well, yes, I can’t really find an excuse for that one, ’ while Kevin says, “Maybe not tonight, but someday.”
Neil chokes on his own spit. “Maybe we can start with a kiss?”
“Just one?” Andrew asks. “Come here.”
He pulls Neil’s chin closer with a single fingertip, waits for Neil to say no, and when he doesn’t, he leans in.
Neil gasps when their lips finally touch, and he’s so glad Andrew swallows the noise before really committing to his movement, kissing until Neil’s out of breath because he forgot how to breathe.
Andrew moves to give him some space, but Neil gets his hand in Andrew’s hair, pulls him closer, says, “No, come back here,” and dives back in. This time, he tentatively licks Andrew’s bottom lip, and sensing his hesitation, Andrew takes control and licks inside Neil’s mouth. Neil very quickly gets used to the feeling of wet, hot tongue, and when he opens his eyes, he can see Kevin looking at them.
He’s not sure what’s taken over him, but he crawls his way over and sits on Kevin’s lap before grinning and saying, “Hi.”
Kevin’s hands land on Neil’s waist, which really brings an unprecedented level of heat between Neil’s legs, so he just leans in and kisses Kevin, brushing their tongues together, strangely giddy about sharing the spit he and Andrew just shared.
Andrew’s hand lands on Neil’s neck, so Neil pulls away briefly only for Andrew to go, “My turn,” and kiss Kevin right in front of him.
Oh. He can feel himself going wetter by the second, and judging by Kevin growing harder underneath Neil’s ass, this is really doing it for all of them. Especially with Andrew’s hand still stroking Neil’s neck, Kevin’s hands around Neil’s waist, and the sight of both Kevin and Andrew’s lips sliding together.
His own hands don’t really know what to do until he decides to land one on Andrew’s lap, instantly reminding himself of when he witnessed him naked, of just how honest and fitting his Twitter name is, and he hates to interrupt the glory that’s happening in front of him but, “I want to suck your cock.”
“Me too,” Kevin says, and he swears when Andrew stands up to drop his sweatpants. “That’s not fair. What the hell, Andrew.”
Despite never having done this before, he figures he should just go for it, licking thick stripes across Andrew’s shaft and seeing how he responds to it. He notices Andrew likes it more when Neil’s messy with it, and pretty soon after Kevin joins him, occasionally brushing tongues across Andrew’s cock.
When Andrew’s nice and wet, Neil leans in to take just the head into his mouth, which is already quite the feat. He closes his eyes and moans around it, softly sucking and licking the underside.
When he slips off, Kevin takes his place, taking Andrew just a little deeper, and Neil watches as his tongue sticks out as it’s licking the underside. They switch off like that, taking him just slightly deeper on every turn until finally, Andrew says, “Fuck, you have to stop before I come already.”
Neil is a little disappointed he won’t get to taste Andrew’s come yet, but he also knows he wants that thing inside of him at one point tonight, so he can be patient.
Andrew pulls him to his feet and pulls Neil’s shirt off, leaving him topless and out of breath.
He strangely feels like covering his nipples until Kevin turns him and puts his hands on him. “You’ve been torturing us with these for so long.”
He thumbs his nipples, making them stand up, reacting immediately to the stimulation because they’re sensitive as hell. It’s distracting enough for Neil not to notice Andrew moving behind him, reaching his arms around him and dipping his hand into the front of Neil’s pants.
His knees threaten to give out when Andrew slides into Neil’s underwear, but he’s supported by Andrew’s body behind him, Kevin torturing his nipples in front of him, he’s not able to go anywhere.
Andrew cups his mound, slides down further, and rubs his fingers over Neil’s already wet lips. Neil whimpers.
Kevin’s teasing his nipples, pinching and rubbing them, leaving small kisses and licks before deciding to torture Neil even more by kissing his neck and attaching his mouth there indefinitely.
Andrew’s finger slips inside and Neil squeezes Kevin’s bicep, failing to swallow his moan as Andrew’s thumb slides across his clit. He can feel Andrew’s hardness pushing up against his ass, and when he notices Kevin’s only playing with one of his nipples anymore, he looks down and sees he’s pushed his sweats down and started jerking off slowly.
“Fuck, Kevin,” Neil moans at the sight. “I’m so wet right now.”
“You are?” Kevin asks before sucking a hickey behind his ear.
“He is,” Andrew responds, and it’s kind of hot the way Andrew says that like he’s not even there. “You should feel it, Kevin, just how hot and wet he is inside.”
Neil’s nipples get a respite, but soon after, he can feel a different set of fingers push his pants down, making Neil step out of them before they join Andrew’s and slide in between his lower lips.
“You are,” Kevin confirms. “You’re so wet, we could slide right in, couldn’t we?”
“Fuck,” Neil swears, his head landing back on Andrew’s shoulder, his arm lifted so Andrew can lean over his shoulder and watch what Kevin’s doing. “We should, should move to a bed, or the floor, or something.”
“Bed,” Andrew says right next to his ear, making him shiver.
They end up in Andrew’s room, but not before Neil takes a small detour to grab his lube, which he paid a pretty penny for because it was highly rated and jumbo-sized.
Andrew also has the biggest bed, proven by the way Kevin’s currently on hands and knees, kissing Andrew who’s sitting next to him and jerking himself off slowly, leaving room behind him for Neil to start fingering him. The lube leaves an oily sheen, and if it was any other day Neil would want to plant his face in there and lick the living hell out of Kevin’s ass, but as it stands, he settles for working him up to four fingers.
He takes them beautifully, and Neil spares a thought to remind himself later to look up strap-ons.
“You look gorgeous like this, Kevin,” he says before biting his left cheek. It’s so squishy.
Neil ends up lying down first, his legs spread open for Kevin to settle between them, and he gasps when Kevin slowly slides his dick in. “Fuck,” Neil laughs. “Fuck, that’s huge, okay.”
Kevin kisses him, dipping inside with his tongue to distract Neil as he slides in further in one solid push, their hips aligning with an audible slap of skin. He gives a few shallow thrusts to get him used to the feeling, and Neil wraps his legs around his waist, his arms around Kevin’s neck.
“Are you ready?” he asks, and when Kevin says yes, he watches Andrew get into place.
He can tell when Andrew starts pushing in when Kevin releases a heavy breath into Neil’s neck, a groan comes next, and Neil can feel himself being pushed up the bed just a little as Andrew slips further inside of Kevin’s hole.
Remembering how much he enjoyed it earlier, Neil asks, “How does he feel, Andrew?”
Kevin whimpers. Andrew swears. “Tight. Hot.”
“Hmm,” Neil moans. “Are you deep? Because he’s deep in me.”
“Not yet,” Andrew says. “Can you feel this?”
When Andrew thrusts, Neil can feel it in his pussy. Kevin’s cock pushes deeper inside of him, reaching a place Neil’s toys usually don’t even reach and when Andrew starts moving, his body gets shoved higher and higher up the bed until he has to grab hold of the headboard and push back.
Eventually, Andrew pulls out halfway and urges Kevin to start thrusting, so when he pulls out of Neil, he’s pushing himself back on Andrew’s cock.
It’s a whole myriad of sensations that’s so overwhelming; the deep and hard fucking, the heavy weight of both of these muscular men on top of him that’s equally comforting as it is a sweaty, hot mess, the idea that he can have this every single day and night, for the rest of his slutty little life.
It gets a little too hot, and Kevin is on the brink of orgasm when they decide to take a break to drink some water and switch positions.
Kevin’s sitting up against the headboard when Neil walks back into the room, so he crawls up the bed on his hands and knees, and licks Kevin’s left nipple, flicking it with the tip of his tongue until it’s standing perky and proud, the piercing clicking against his teeth. He sucks it into his mouth and tongues over it, groans when Kevin’s hand latches on to his head to keep him there. When he’s tortured him enough, he kisses his way down over Kevin’s muscles, until he reaches his glorious cock and starts leaving teasing little licks across it.
The mattress dips behind him and he looks back to see Andrew lean in before he can feel his hot breath across his pussy, and then his tongue licking a long wet stripe over it, dipping in to get a taste.
It makes Neil’s eyes roll to the back of his skull, makes him so horny it’s all he can do before he simply sinks his mouth down on Kevin’s cock, stretching his lips, letting it push against his throat, making him gag as Andrew slides his cock into his pussy easily. There’s slick sliding all down his thighs, some spit drooling out of his mouth and onto Kevin’s divine cock, a hand in his hair keeping him down to test his limits. He’s finding out, he doesn’t have that many.
This is exactly like that dream he had, where Kevin was fucking his face, and Andrew fucking his hole, moving him forwards and backward onto their cocks and Neil has to admit, the reality is even fucking better than he could ever imagine.
He wouldn’t have been able to predict how hot it was when Kevin pushed his head down to take him down more, wouldn’t have guessed how big Andrew’s cock was and how deep he’d be able to feel it, giving himself the ludicrous idea that if he could feel Andrew this deep, would Kevin, fucking his throat, feel it too?
He comes at least once, can’t keep track since neither Andrew nor Kevin gives him a break while he’s being moved like a rag doll, so who’s to say? All he knows is his brain is beautifully empty, but his holes are filled.
Kevin releases his hand from Neil’s hair, moves him off with the gentlest touch, and says, “I’m gonna come.”
“Fuck, me too,” Andrew says, pulling out.
Neil’s exhausted at this point, so he drops himself on his back on the mattress, points down his body, and says, “Go ahead.”
He has his own fingers in his pussy, his thumb on his clit, working himself up to another orgasm while both Kevin and Andrew are on their knees next to him, jerking off over him. He sucks a few fingers from his other hand into his mouth as he fucks himself to his last climax as both Andrew and Kevin come in stripes over his stomach.
He doesn’t remember most of what happened after that if he’s honest, but the next day he wakes up nestled between both his boyfriends, feeling like his body was used as a sledgehammer.
He’s not eager to wake up, to even look at the time, but he can’t help but feel horny again, especially with Andrew’s dick pressing in between his cheeks.
“Mmsore,” he complains, his lips at Kevin’s pulse point.
“Alright,” Andrew says, kissing Neil’s neck, making his insides buzz. “Kevin, are you sore?”
Kevin stretches and Neil enjoys the view immensely. “Not yet. What are you thinking?”
Apparently, Kevin’s still somewhat loose from last night, and with a small helping of lube and two of Andrew’s thick fingers, it’s not long before Andrew slips inside his hole, fucking in hard, fast thrusts that have Kevin groaning into Neil’s pussy where he’s eating him out.
This time, with Neil sitting up against the headboard with Kevin’s face in between his legs, he has the perfect view of Andrew fucking Kevin, and especially Andrew’s face that’s focussed on him while he has a hold of Kevin’s hips. Neil can only imagine all the things they’ll think of to do together, all the different combinations, the toys he can introduce everyone to, the sexy mess they’ll make.
An hour and one very crowded shower later, they’re all lounging on their couch when Neil has to hold in a laugh.
leon - FINALE TODAY @permasinning
don’t perceive me when my porn starts being way more factually correct 👅💦💥