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“Jesus, I forgot how tiny your bathroom is,” Dex says as he steps out.
Dex had shown up at Nursey’s apartment a couple hours ago unannounced, already ranting about a coworker before Nursey could even fully open the door. He and Dex weren’t supposed to meet until tomorrow evening when the second day of the convention he was in New York for was over. But Nursey didn’t mind; he had just stepped aside to let Dex in, laughing at how red and angry he was.
And now, here he is, looking a lot calmer and standing in Nursey’s basketball shorts and Samwell hoodie as he towels off his damp hair. Nursey’s heart hammers wildly at the sight, thankful that Dex forgot to bring clothes to sleep in.
“ Chill. I'm offering you free lodging, Dexy,” Nursey says from the couch as he folds a blanket — it’s his favorite one, but Dex can have it for the night — and puts it aside. “I don't wanna hear any complaints.”
“Fair. Uncomfortable couch does beat sharing a hotel room with my douchebag coworker,” Dex says as he walks over to him, hanging the wet towel over the back of a chair on the way.
Nursey points at him with a grin. “And don't ya forget it.”
Dex sits next to him, crossed-legged. “No, but really. Thanks for letting me crash last minute.”
“It’s chill,” Nursey says as he bumps their shoulders together. His eyes land on the corner of Dex’s mouth. “Oh, you got uh-” He lifts his hand then stops halfway, leaving it stuttering in the air.
“Toothpaste?” Dex asks, already wiping at the wrong side.
“Yeah. Other side, dude.” Nursey laughs. “No, still there, just- Ugh, okay, let me…”
He lets himself touch Dex's face now, his fingers curled underneath Dex’s chin as he rubs his thumb over the spot. Nursey thinks that his attempt to express exasperation might be enough for him to get away with it.
Being this close — close enough to count freckles and smell shampoo — makes Nursey ache with how much he's missed him.
After they graduated, Nursey was half-tempted to just move to Boston where his friends — his family , really — all were. Living with Dex, Chowder, and Farmer and getting to see the rest of the team all the time was almost enough reason to forfeit his slot in the MFA program he'd gotten into. Or at least it felt like it at the time.
He could still remember when he first voiced that thought as he watched the three of them look at apartments online. Farmer punched him in the arm, Chowder’s face dropped in horror, and Dex threw a balled-up table napkin at him before they launched into a chorus of You're joking, right? Promise us you're joking? and You’ve wanted this for so long! and We're not going anywhere! You can still move in with us in two years!
And they were right. Of course they were.
Besides, he loves New York. Loves studying and writing poetry. Loves his job at the indie publishing house. Loves the crappy shoebox apartment he got because he wanted to be independent. (And loves that it's an easy enough commute to his moms’ that he gets to visit and sleep over whenever he wants to anyway.)
His life is good in New York.
But with the end of grad school approaching and his lease almost up, he’s getting more and more impatient about finally living with his friends again. The finish line is so close that it's getting more frustrating. He just wants to get there already.
Because the finish line looks like waking up and being greeted first thing in the morning by Chowder beaming at him and telling him he's gonna have a great day. And writing all afternoon in the quiet of their warm home and stopping just in time to pour a glass of wine for Farmer minutes before she arrives from an exhausting but fulfilling day of teaching kids. And sitting on the kitchen counter, handing Dex ingredients while insisting that it counted as helping him cook dinner.
And Dex would roll his eyes and hold back a smile while Nursey laughs and bites his tongue before the words spilled out: I’m in love with you. And I'm pretty sure you love me back.
Then again, the finish line also meant Nursey could finally tell him. Meant that there would no longer be miles between them to complicate the words further. No more letting a linger of a hand on the back of Dex’s neck during goodbyes after visits speak for this thing that has grown restless in his heart.
It's an open secret at this point, really. Nursey saw the soft smile Dex shot him after smacking the back of Holster’s head for chirping him and Nursey for acting like a couple. Nursey noticed the way Dex glanced at him to make sure he heard Dex’s Uh...Not if it's new...Even if I really liked them to Ford’s Do you think you could ever do long distance? And whenever Nursey's knuckles brush Dex’s under the table? Dex's fingers always stretch to hold the fleeting touch a bit longer.
It can be more than that soon, Nursey knows. Just not now.
For the moment, for now , in this small apartment, he has this:
Dex blushing to his ears and down his neck at Nursey’s touch. Dex leaning in closer, gorgeous amber eyes blown wide. Dex trying not to smile as Nursey lets his fingers linger — long enough to communicate an I want you. I want this. I know we can't have it just yet, but I want you to know that. as he does every time he touches him — before pulling his hand back.
And, for now, it's more than enough.
“Thanks.”
“You sure you good here?” he asks, patting the couch. What he’s really saying is Just say the word, and we can share the bed.
“Yeah, it's chi-” he freezes. “It's no problem.”
Nursey’s face breaks into a grin. “What was that, William? ”
Dex rolls his eyes, the twitch of the corner of his lip too obvious for his annoyance to look convincing. “I said fuck off.”
“You miss me so bad it's maaaaddddd embarrassing, bro.”
Dex opens his mouth — another pissy retort, Nursey expects — but then he closes it, his face going slack with fondness. “I do.”
Nursey can feel the smugness on his face fade into a small smile, his heart feeling like it could burst from the riot in it that he had named Will Poindexter. “Well. I miss you too.”
Dex smirks. “I know.”
Nursey laughs. “God, I’m-” He catches himself before he can say it. I’m in love with you. “ I'm glad you're here. Even if it's just for the weekend.”
Dex sighs, an unsure smile on his face.
“What?”
“Having to wait sucks, I guess.”
Nursey raises his eyebrows. “You mean, like...Waiting for me to move to Boston?”
Dex shrugs, but his fingertips that are now brushing against Nursey’s are enough of a sign that that's exactly what he means. And, at that the same time, that it isn't all he means.
Which makes this the closest they've gotten to acknowledging this thing they've been dancing around for the past two years.
“So,” Nursey starts tentatively, “to be clear, you do want me...to move to Boston?”
His freckled cheeks get redder. There's a tremble of hesitation as he says, “Are you kidding? These past two years I've just been waiting for you to...you know, move to Boston ,” he chuckles out nervously.
Nursey smiles, looking down at their hesitating hands. Their fingers are touching, but just barely. “Honestly? Me too.”
And saying it out loud, giving it the tangibility of words no matter how vague, makes Nursey feel like his entire body is building to a crescendo that's driving him insane to put off any longer. They could only speak in code for so long before Nursey breaks and closes the gap between them — but he can’t do that. Not now.
So, he takes a sobering breath and looks at Dex. “But not yet, right?”
Dex smiles sadly. “Probably for the best.”
“Three months.”
Dex nods slowly. “Yeah...I can't wait.”
Nursey lets out a breathless laugh. “Same.” Before he can help it, his eyes flicker to Dex’s lips. Every part of Nursey is screaming at how close he is.
“Do I still have toothpaste on my mouth?”
Nursey shakes his head, slowly lifting his gaze. “No.”
“Oh.”
He clears his throat. “I should…I should go to bed. I'd stay up and talk more, but I have a meeting with my advisor first thing tomorrow...Sorry.”
There's a version of tonight where they are already together. The sleepover would be planned, and maybe Dex would remember to bring his own clothes but still decide to wear Nursey's. They'd talk about Nursey’s graduation and moving to Boston in between distracting kisses and maddening touches and teasing but reverent whispers. Then, when Nursey says I should go to bed, it's with an outstretched hand, an invitation to wake up tangled in each other's limbs when the morning filters through the glass.
But fantasies that look too close to what they could have right at this second are still fantasies as Nursey makes sure the pillows on the couch are soft enough and thinks with a thrill about how they’ll smell like Dex. The I want you and I want this and Yes, but not now hangs heavy in the air, unspoken but still there . And when Dex finally puts a hand over his and mutters an, “It's okay. We've got all the time in the world to catch up,” Nursey hears the bigger promise hidden in the words.
“I know,” Nursey says as he gets up, grinning. “I'm counting on it.”