Work Text:
arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
AC: :33 < *ac gives a furriendly flick of her tail at cg*
AC: :33 < *a mischevious grin takes ofur her expurression, looking playfully conniving as purr usual!*
CG: OH GREAT.
CG: HEY, LET ME JUST DROP EVERYTHING I’M DOING AND LISTEN TO THIS SHIT AGAIN.
CG: BECAUSE GOD KNOWS THIS ONLY HAPPENS EVERY SO OFTEN.
CG: ALL OF ALTERNIA, LEND YOUR HEARING RECEPTORS, LEAVE YOUR HIVES TO GO OUTSIDE AND STARE IN AWE, DON’T EVEN BOTHER PULLING YOUR GODDAMN PANTS UP, BECAUSE NEPETA FUCKING LEIJON IS ROLEPLAYING AT ME.
CG: IT’S LIKE THE GREAT COMING OF SOME LEGENDARY HOLY PROPHET, COME TO TELL US IDEAS AND REVELATIONS THAT THE WORLD COULDN’T POSSIBLY YET COMPREHEND.
CG: GENERATIONS FROM NOW, THE CHILDREN OF OUR CHILDREN WILL JOIN HANDS IN THE GREATEST SPIRITUAL CIRCLEJERK KNOWN TO TROLLKIND, AND TOGETHER THEY WILL READ OF YOUR INFORMED TIPS ON HOW TO ENGAGE IN A FUCKED UP ROLEPLAY RIFE WITH STEAMY DRAGON-ON-POUNCEBEAST ACTION.
CG: DON’T THINK I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU AND TEREZI DO IN YOUR FREE TIME.
CG: BUT ANYWAY, I GUESS I BETTER LISTEN THE FUCK UP, BECAUSE THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE TO LISTEN TO YOUR INSISTENT BLATHERING.
AC: :33 < *ac giggles at karkittys rant*
AC: :33 < *if you didnt want to rp me, i think mew would have already exited out of this confursation by meow!*
AC: : 33 < *ac says*
CG: SHUT UP.
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33
AC: :33 < *come on karkitty! be more fun, ac insists convincingly*
CG: KARKAT THINKS HE’LL BE THE JUDGE ON WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS CONVINCING.
CG: WAIT, FUCK
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33!
AC: :33 < *ac thinks that karkitty can be purretty silly sometimes!*
AC: :33 < *and also very adorable!* <3
CG: ADORABLE, HUH?
CG: AM I AS ADORABLE AS WHATEVER BABY PREYBEAST YOU NO DOUBT TOOK DOWN AND MAULED THIS EVENING FOR A LIGHT BRUNCH?
AC: :33 < at least a bajillion times more adorable than that!
CG: HAHA. (:B
AC: :33 < *ac washes her paws contentedly, but wants to remind karkitty of the mischievous attitude that she mentioned a little earlier*
AC: :33 < *ac is still looking like quite the mischievous rogue!*
AC: :33 < *she looks to purrhaps be planning something supurr secret and exciting!!!*
CG: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT.
CG: I’LL BITE.
CG: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33
AC: :33 < purrhaps mew want to walk ofur to your furront door?
AC: :33 < and maybe take a p33k outside??
AC: :33 < to s33 what surpurrizes are in store fur mew!!!
CG: WAIT.
CG: GODDAMMIT NEPETA, IF THIS IS ANOTHER DEAD SQUEAKBEAST AT MY DOORSTEP, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.
CG: FOR THE LAST TIME, I APPRECIATE THE GESTURE, BUT IT DOESN’T IMPRESS ME.
CG: IT’S JUST KIND OF GROSS.
CG: AND IT MAKES MY LUSUS ANGRY.
AC: XOO < karkitty!
AC: :33 < just look right meow!
CG: FINE, I’M GETTING UP AND GOING RIGHT NOW.
AC: :33 < h33 h33, purrfect
CG: ...
CG: GET OFF MY LAWNRING, YOU IDIOT.
----
You’ve never had a very positive outlook on life. Very few things about your world have ever seemed fair, or right. Your very existence has never seemed fair, or right.
Lately, the only thing you can find any hope in is Nepeta Leijon.
She does things to you. For instance, normally you would be annoyed at the prospect of lying flat on your back after a devastating tackle pounce to the solar plexes. But now….
Actually, you’re still pretty pissed off about that.
But it’s more of a self-destructive annoyance, because as you look up into those grey eyes – no, they’re starting to turn, you can see the slightest glint of forest green if you look for a while – you find yourself losing the will to be angry, and instead of lashing out and yelling, you simply sigh and let your eyes roll back as you close them.
Nepeta straddles your torso, having at least the decency to not gouge you in the stomach with her knees, as she kneads her hands against your chest. You don’t need to open your eyes to know that there’s a huge grin on her face, playful and bright and only slightly smug.
You wait for a moment before you speak. “Are you gonna get off of me anytime soon?” Your voice is quieter than you even intended, and you’re almost surprised to be feeling as calm as you are.
Nepeta giggles, and you open your eyes to glare at her. “Are you surpurrised, Karkitty?” She inquires excitedly, her hands still working restlessly on your chest. She always cocks her head to the side whenever she asks a question, and damn your eyes and damn those giant green-grey pools of cogent temptation that Nepeta tries to pass off as eyes if it isn’t the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.
“Does a fucking incontinent woodsbeast lose control of his intestinal system in the very place his ashamed, weary descendants had him sent after they figured he was just ‘a burden to the forest’?”
“Karkat…”
The puzzled frown on her face makes you snort, and no it was totally not a giggle it was a fucking manly-ass grunt of mild amusement, and the reaction makes her face light up again quickly.
“It took efurry fiber from my whiskers to the tip of my tail not to spoil the surpurrise!” She announces proudly. “Pounce finally gave me purrmission to leave the hive fur a few nights! To visit longer than just to leave purresents at your door.”
You grimace. “Thank god for that.”
As Nepeta giggles again, you take the opportunity to lift your hands up, and you gently lay them on top of hers to still them. Her hands lift up in perfect sync with yours, and it feels so natural as you press your palms together and intertwine your fingers. You pull your clasped hands down to either side of your head, and Nepeta follows you down until her face is just a few inches from yours.
You try your hardest to stay looking as grouchy and pissed off as possible. “So are you going to just sit here and stare at me for the whole time you’re here, or are you gonna let me up?”
A playful smirk curls the corners of Nepeta’s mouth. “Nooooooope.”
“No to staring at me or no to letting me up?”
“An experienced hunter never releases her purrey too early!”
“Fucking let me up.”
“Hee hee, not until you’ve lost your will to be crabby, Karkitty.”
“I can be as crabby as I goddamn want as long as your pelvis is digging into maaaAAAHAHA NO-”
You’re foolishly caught off guard as her face tucks itself into the side of your neck, and you lose it when she blows a raspberry against the skin behind your ear. Your desire to remain surly leaves you quickly, and you laugh as she peppers kisses along your neck teasingly. They’re quick, playful pecks, but soon they begin to slow and turn more tender. You feel your face, already flushed from laughing, grow hotter for an entirely different reason. She presses one last kiss to your cheek, gentle and lingering, before she pushes herself up and looks at you warmly, a broad grin stretched across her face.
And suddenly you realize you’re smiling too. Because there’s something about this that feels perfect, it just feels right. You can’t completely describe how you feel about Nepeta Leijon, but you know that it just feels so natural, that it’s something that simply was.
You don’t know why, but when you’re with her, it feels so effortless, like a habit built up after sweeps of practice.
You don’t even have to say anything for her to lean in and press a kiss against your lips, and you return the action eagerly. You gently pull your hands out of her grip and you take her face with them, pulling her in closer.
After a few minutes, you pull apart slowly, and you open your eyes to see the same warm smile on her face. She giggles and pushes lightly against your forehead with hers before settling down next to you. Her face tucks itself into the crook of your neck again, and she nuzzles into your side, hugging you to her tightly.
You snort again as she attempts to imitate her lusus’s purring, the vibrations of her mouth right against your neck, and it was just as manly as before and still totally not a giggle. “So what, are you just going to settle yourself right here, right in the middle of my doorway, right on top of me, right out in the open with no regard towards being an eyesore to the rest of the community?”
“Mm hm,” she purrs contentedly.
You don’t reply, don’t need to, and you wrap an arm around her without even thinking about it. Because suddenly, that doesn’t sound so bad as it should.
Your name is Karkat Vantas, and nothing could ever feel more right than it does at this moment.