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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    When he was seven years old, Shane Hollander was briefly lost at an airport. Luckily, the kindness of a stranger ensured he made it back to his parents safely, putting an end to a terrifying three hours for the Hollanders. It takes twenty years (and one heated rivalry) for Shane to learn the name of his rescuer. It takes twenty years for Ilya to learn his wish had already come true.

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    26 Mar 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Shane cups her cheek in his hand, running his thumb over the plush of her bottom lip. She looks at him through her fawnish lashes. He roves his eyes over her body. Her shoulders and biceps, her abs… She's so strong, so…

    Incredible.

    "I've never done that before," he admits, "Not with... with a woman, at least."

    "Right, well," she rolls her eyes, "Would probably be better with a real man, yes?"

    He shakes his head, "No. It wouldn't have been the same at all."

    - - -

    or, Shane comes to terms with his sexuality only to get thrown right back into confusion by Rozanov.

    Language:
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    6/6
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    26 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    He’s breathing the same air as Shane Hollander. Carbon dioxide is passing from Hollander’s lungs to his. You should be mine, he thinks of commanding, on the off chance Hollander will obey. You’re the center of my world and you should be all mine.

    In which Ilya has a habit, and an obsession.

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    13 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Have you considered the possibility that Neil has chosen you, but believes you have not chosen him?” Renee says. "Have you ever explicitly told him what you want?”

    “Neil knows what I want,” Andrew snaps. This is not Andrew’s fault.

    “How do you know?”

    Because Neil always knows. He is as fluent in Andrew’s micro-expressions as he is in German and French. He knows which head tilts mean “go on” and which ones mean “shut up.” Without ever asking, he learned what it meant to see Andrew wearing double layers of long sleeves, or taking multiple showers in a day, and learned to hand Andrew the car keys.

    That has always been the most terrifying thing about Neil — his patience to wait, watch, listen, learn. The prospect that if Neil were given enough time, there would be no part of Andrew that was just Andrew’s anymore.

    “He has to know,” Andrew says.

    “Does he?” Renee says. “Have you ever known Neil to assume that he is wanted?”

    Five times Neil tells someone that he and Andrew aren’t dating, and one time Andrew uses his words to set the record straight.

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    13 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    There is a strong scent of antiseptic in the air, the kind that always haunts hospitals and morgues. Ilya thinks it is fitting. He thinks, perhaps, that some vital organ of his is failing irreparably, and he is only waiting for a doctor to call out his time of death.

    “You have lost your memories.” It’s not a question. Ilya’s burning hand drops from Shane’s cheek.

    “Yeah,” Shane says easily. “Wait, shit, did no one tell you?”

    “Is it temporary.” Ilya’s voice is hoarse, pleading. “This memory loss, is it… tell me that it is temporary.” Please, please, God. I know I promised to give anything up, but-

    Shane looks at Ilya with wide eyes. “They don’t know,” he says gently. He seems to be catching onto Ilya’s distress despite the drugs in his system.

    Ilya feels cold all over. Yes, any moment now, they will cover him with a white sheet and take him away.

    Shane's concussion in S01E05 leaves him missing his memories from the last decade. Ilya is now the only person in the world who knows the truth about him and Shane, and is forced to question whether to burden Shane with their complicated relationship or to walk away.

    Language:
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    12 Feb 2026