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Everything I Wanted

Summary:

"I had a dream... I got everything I wanted. Not what you'd think, and if I'm being honest... it might have been a nightmare."

Chat Noir has a nightmare about Chat Blanc.

Inspired by Billie Eilish's, 'Everything I Wanted'.

Notes:

hello!!!!!!!! finished miraculous ladybug season 3!!!!!! at the same time i started listening to this song and it gave me MASSIVE chat noir/chat blanc vibes and now here we are! it is currently 5am... i didn't do any editing on this so if there are mistakes... i'm sorry. OK ENJOY <333

Work Text:

Marinette and Chat Noir were snuggled up on the lounge chair on her balcony, pillows and blankets surrounding them on the cold night. That didn’t bother the sweet Chaton however, he was fast asleep and purring.

Marinette was reading a book, not paying any particular attention to it as she pat Chat’s head, making sure to scratch his his favourite spot - behind the ears - while she was at it.

Chat started… crying? But before Marinette could even react, he started shaking and sobbing. She dropped her book, and put her full attention on him. Continuing to pat his hair as she softly said his name in hopes to try and wake him. When that didn’t work she got louder and louder, shaking him awake.

He woke up out of breath to his heart beating out of his chest. Marinette was wiping tears away before he even noticed his face was wet.

The memories of the dream started to set in, Chat looked around suspiciously… everything seemed normal. How can a dream feel so real?

Marinette held onto him while he composed himself, trying to offer him as much comfort as possible before he was ready to talk about it.

However, Chat brushed her off. “I- I have to go.” he said before standing abruptly.

“Go where?” Marinette questioned, confusion and concern written all over her face.

“I…” he hesitated, “I have to go see Ladybug.”

“Will you come back?” she asked, placing a hand on his cheek.

He offered a small smile and placed his hand over hers, “Yeah.”

Marinette let him go, watching until he disappeared in the distance.

As soon as he was out of sight she started pacing her balcony, biting her nails out of habit. Once Tikki knew the coast was clear, she came into sight. “What’s wrong, Marinette?” she asked.

Marinette stopped pacing, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach, and sat on the edge of the lounge chair with her head in her hands. She wanted to say she was relieved she wasn’t the only one having nightmares but… her nightmares revolved around Chat Blanc.

What if he was having the same nightmares? It seemed impossible, sure, but so did everything else that has happened since they met.

“I have to go see Chat Noir, as Ladybug.” was all she offered Tikki in reply. Tikki knew something had been bugging Marinette, but she knew better than to ask outright. Marinette would tell her when she was ready.

Once Marinette had transformed, she checked her yo-yo for a message from Chat Noir. He told her to meet him at their favourite spot in Paris - the Eiffel Tower.

As Ladybug made her way there, she let herself get caught up in being Ladybug. The running, the jumping, the views… it was something that would never get old.

When Ladybug reached the highest spot of the tower, she saw Chat leaning on the railing, overlooking the city.

“Hey Chat Noir… what’s up?” she asked as casually as possible.

“Ladybug…” he said, the sadness in his voice bringing back the pit in her stomach. He rarely called her by her full name, usually favouring one of the many nicknames he had given her.

She made her way over to the railing to stand next to him, staring at the city and all the lights.

“I had a dream… or… I think it was a nightmare?” Chat starts, voice cracking. “I- I mean I got everything I wanted. We were together, we were in love. We knew each other’s identities.” he lowered his head, the guilt clear as day on his face.

The tears start pouring out, they aren’t sure who started crying first. Ladybug can’t get herself to move, though, feet glued to the ground. She wanted more than anything to comfort him but the story sounded all too familiar.

“But we also… we knew Hawk Moth’s identity and of course, he used it all against us. He… I was akumatized. I destroyed Paris. Our love destroyed Paris… almost the entire universe.” Chat was shaking at this point. “I… I hurt you.” he said, barely above a whisper.

“Chat…” Ladybug says quietly, wanting to move towards him but choosing to wait.

“I remember… I remember jumping off the Eiffel Tower.” he mentions as eyes go wide and he backs away from the railing. “No one was there, no one cared. I was… all alone.”

And that breaks the dam. Chat starts sobbing, shaking - Ladybug being the only thing that stops him from falling to the ground. She lets them down gently and just holds him in her arms. His head rests on her chest while hers rests on top of his, while she rubs circles on his back and tries to calm him. Giving him time to get it all out of his system.

Ladybug had tried so hard to block the memory of Chat Blanc from her mind… but everything was coming back now, and she had to hold back her tears. She wouldn't let him see her cry.

A million thoughts raced through her head… How could he have that dream- that nightmare? Am I just meant to casually drop on him that that would be our future if we ever revealed our identities to each other? He knew… or at least thought he knew… who Ladybug was… who Hawk Moth was… Am I just supposed to ignore that?

She shook her head to break her from her own thoughts. That future was not their future anymore. Not if she had any say it in.

Ladybug lifts his head so he's looking up at her, “Chat Noir… as long as I’m here, no one can hurt you.” she declares, and places a kiss upon his forehead. He was not all alone, and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure he knew that.

Chat gives her a small smile, which is about all he can manage right now to try and offer her some comfort.

“Ladybug… I’m sorry.” he says as his head drops again, the guilt creeping in again.

“Chat, it was all just a dream. I’m right here, see?” she assures, lifting his head again so he can see the funny face she was pulling in an attempt to make him laugh. She gets a small giggle out of him so she calls it a success. “What happened there… will never ever happen again. We are here to make sure of that. You aren’t alone in this, okay?”

Chat nods in reply, finally gaining the courage to sit up on his own. When he looks at her, he is filled with the memories of his nightmare. Tears threaten to spill from his eyes, but he repeats what his Lady just said to him as he tries to blink them away.

Ladybug stands first, and reaches out her hands to help Chat stand too. He pulls her into a tight hug once he’s up, and places a kiss on her forehead too. They stay like that for a while, simply just swaying in the wind.

Once they parted, Chat offers her the biggest smile he can muster before they nod at each other. They both understand that it’s probably time to get back. Just before Chat jumps off the railing, Ladybug grabs his belt to stop him.

“Chat… I…” she starts, but she can’t find the words. Even after the emotional conversation they just had, words were hard for the both of them. Besides, they didn’t need words. They were partners, and that came above everything else in the book.

Of course, Chat knew exactly what Ladybug wanted to say. “I know.” he says with a wink before jumping off.

As he makes his way back to Marinette’s, jumping and weaving through building after building, he wonders about his… dream. Wondered if any of it was true. Wondered if he wanted it to be true. Wondered…

Would I do it again?