youhavetime



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Yuna: [harrumphing] Well, then, why am I getting phone calls from Rolex and Reebox about tweets under the ‘hashtag hockey boy quitter’ tag because you don’t know how to treat a woman in the bedroom-

    David: [awkwardly] I thought I taught you better than this, son. A woman’s pleasure is just as important as yours, I told you this at sixteen we first had the birds and the bees conversation-

    Shane: [choking] Oh my God, please stop! Will you guys just listen for one second?

    Yuna: I don’t want to hear any excuses-

    David: Don’t raise your voice at me, young man-

    Shane: [he lets out a frustrated yell] JUST LISTEN-

    Yuna: [sounding shocked] Shane!

    Shane: [shouting] I’M GAY!

    (shane goes viral for rude texts to ‘lily’. women from his past come forward with stories of their own. cue the internet on a witchhunt, an embarrassing coming out, and shane having the worst day of his life)

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    30 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    January 15, 2017
    For immediate release.
    (English version)

    The Montréal Metros are devastated to announce the unexpected and tragic passing of our beloved captain, Shane Hollander, at the age of 25.

    -

    or, a canon-divergent au in which shane and rose never met, in epistolary format.

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    25 May 2026

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    “And you’re sure there’s nothing for you?” David says suddenly. “You’re not—you’re feeling okay? You’re not sick? Shane wouldn’t have any reason to think that you’re sick?”

    Ilya blinks and turns to him. “I am fine. Totally fine. Better than fine, even, before today.”

    “It’s just—Shane’s acting like you’re dying, Ilya.”

    “Not as far as I’m aware,” says Ilya. “And I do not think he would learn this before me.”

    The summer before Ilya joins the Centaurs, Shane wakes up nervous. It doesn't stop from there.

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    13 May 2026

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    “Maybe—maybe Lily is sleeping,” she says. Bargaining, she realizes numbly. She’s bargaining for more time. And for whatever is unfolding here to stop unfolding and in fact fold itself back up. Her thumb shifts away from the call button. “And you should be sleeping too, mister.”

    “He’s not sleeping.” Shane flares his nostrils—another gesture Yuna hasn’t seen in so many years. “He’s waiting for me to call a third time. Mom. Please. He’s—he’ll be so worried.”

    Yuna shifts her thumb and lets it drop. Is Yuna a bad mother if she hopes "Lily" doesn’t pick up?

    -x-

    or: Shane needs to call someone the night he's laid out by Marlow, and Yuna reflects on her quietly, obsessively devoted son.

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    09 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane has everything he could ever ask for. A loving family. A devoted husband. The life he'd always dreamed of.

    So why does it feel like his chest is caving in when his mom calls Ilya her favourite?

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    07 May 2026