xRenx
Fandoms
- K-pop (4)
- NCT (Band) (4)
- SEVENTEEN (Band) (2)
- ENHYPEN (Band) (2)
Recent works
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Summary
Jaehyun knew he was tired when he came to work, and he has been feeling a bit under the weather for a few days now, but he simply though it’s all the stress of finals and his body’s way of coping with the all-nighters. He thought he was just fine to be able to work, but sitting at the table, feeling his ears ring from all the noise on the other side of the wall, and seeing his vision swim slightly, like he would be swaying slightly on his seat makes it evident everything must not be just as good as he thought. He lifts his hand on his forehead just as a precaution, because there is no way he would be sick right?
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Alternatively
It's finally Christmas break and Jaehyun is exhausted from finals and work and does not realise he's sick. It really only dawns to him at work when he starts feeling shitty and almost faints once the cafe closes. Que the rescue team a.k.a Jaehyun's loving boyfriends who come to fetch him from poor Junmyeon's way (he's the best boss) and try their best to pamper him and nurse him back to health.
This is honestly just comfort and fluff with some sickness.
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Summary
"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"
Sunghoon gets compliments about his looks five times a day.
People say he's the visual of the group. He's the ice skater, the ice prince. But is he ever anything else?
The thing with insecurities is that they're wicked liars. They twist every word said and make you believe the opposite and then convince you that's just how people think. That there's no point telling anyone about it, because it'll just make those people admit the truth and it'll dawn to him that there's not really anyone out there that cares about him as a person or even just his looks. That he's just this living, breathing lump with brain that acts by company orders and pretends to be someone called Sunghoon. That he's actually just nothing special. Nothing at all.
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Alternatively, Sunghoon is a little insecure about how people talk about him as the visual, and just wants to prove everyone that he's much more than just visuals. And on the way there he breaks a little, but worry not, his members are there to save the day.
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Summary
Anxiety
It's like a weight on your chest, arms grabbing you from behind and pressing you against an inanimate object, a wave crushing you on the ocean floor. It's an invisible force that makes you gasp in hopes of getting more air in your lungs. It makes you pant and the air feel like there is no oxygen left, just this damp humid air that is never enough.
In these moments Jake hopes someone would notice. Anyone.
But he has locked his door, told everyone half an hour ago that he'd go take a nap and not to bother him for the next two hours. He was waved off by a mischievous smirk from Jay, implying that he'd give up their room for Jake to use for his private business this time. Little did they know his private business was far from what they imagined a guy in his early twenties would do when he got a room for himself. No, he was not jerking off. Instead he was sitting in front of his desk, shivering as he only just closed the window, leaning his head on his hands and trying so hard to just fucking breathe.
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There's a void in his chest, wanting to be filled. Needing to be filled. It’s a caving feeling on his ribcage, a burning heartache, a pang of loneliness, a chill of cold running down his spine.
It’s almost like loneliness, but he doesn't feel alone. It's a complicated feeling.
The void wants to be filled, but what do you fill the void with if not with love and affection from a special someone?
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Or alternatively, Doyoung ponders over his (a)sexuality and the kind of loneliness that comes from seeing your loved ones in love while being alone.
And Johnny being the best friend you could imagine.
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Summary
Part 1. of Silence, based on the lines "I'd rather be a lover than a fighter."
Jeonghan thinks about the end of his relationship and what all went wrong. It's melancholic, a bit sad too, just me getting inspired by a song and rain.
His chest still feels tight, like there’s someone squishing it, making it hard to breathe. The rain feels good, it makes everything slightly easier, but his thoughts are still a mess; colourful strings starting from nothing and ending nowhere, just tangling into a huge mess in the middle, seemingly impossible to sort out. They’re like veins, the more they’re trapped together, the more they lose blood, the more colour seeps out of the strings, the more he forgets, the more the thoughts die and stay as a mess, someday resurfacing as an even bigger mess, and when you start solving it, all the old memories come up again.
Series
- Part 1 of Silence
Recent series
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Author projecting their feelings onto sad boys by xRenx
Fandom ENHYPEN (Band), K-pop, NCT (Band)
18 Apr 2024
Summary
Just me writing about all the feelings and situations I experience, or emotions that I don't quite know how to handle on my own. So yeah, I write about them to understand myself better and to hopefully give others something to relate to.
These stories are almost always written in the spur of the moment, so I just word-vomit everything at once and post it and then might edit it later.
- Words:
- 11,617
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
A series of short fics inspired by the lyrics of Silence by Marshmello & Khalid.
The lyrics parts (that are also the headings) are based on a Tiktok video I saw a while back. It was an edit to that exact song, and there was a video clip of each member with certain lyrics. Video by @minghaohugs on Tiktok!
All of these stories happen in the same universe, so when a character is mentioned in some story, the situation has also happened in "their universe" and might be mentioned in the story that concentrates on them. Still, not all of the characters know about each others existence nor about the events happening in each story.
- Words:
- 2,438
- Works:
- 1
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Summary
A collection of angsts, some are just light angst/hurt & comfort, some are a bit heavier topics :)
From different kpop fandoms (boy groups), since I'm in way too many fandoms :)
You can always send me requests~
I'm currently working on two works for this serie, though I always try to make them short oneshots and they end up becoming a lot longer, so it takes time to post them~
- Words:
- 1,971
- Works:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
After he’s kidnapped by a deranged stalker driven by a perverse desire to make him his, sweet, innocent high school student Huang Renjun is thrust into a living nightmare of torment, obsession and depravity. Hanging by a thin thread as the very fabric of his sanity threatens to unravel and with little hope to escape, he struggles to survive in the claws of a man who will go to any length to possess him.
Back at home, six boys are struggling to piece each other back together in the wake of their friend’s disappearance. With authorities powerless and the tragedy forcing each boy’s most crippling insecurities to the surface, the teens struggle to hold themselves together as a group whilst searching for answers where the police have failed them.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,387
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 272
- Bookmarks:
- 21
- Hits:
- 5,328
Bookmarked by xRenx
10 Apr 2019
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Summary
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of self-harm, eating disorders and bullying, read at your own risk
My first published fic, please vote and leave feedback!Sehun doesn't understand why they all hate him. He tries to hard to fit in, to the point where he's trying too hard. Why won't they let him live in peace? How hard will they push him before he breaks?
"It's your own fault that we all hate you, so don't even try and talk to me. You absolute idiot."
"Nothing. It was no one. Fatty eating biscuits."
"You're useless! We ask you for one thing, and you can't even do that!"
Complete.
Bookmarked by xRenx
16 Mar 2019
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Summary
He ate when and what he needed to. He definitely didn’t enjoy the process, but all he can feel is the sludge that food becomes after chewing, you can’t really blame him.
Series
- Part 1 of It's An Idol's Life For Me
Bookmarked by xRenx
04 Feb 2019