sometimesanne



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    The beginning of the process was fairly easy. Ilya turned on the new phone and followed the directions to start the transfer, but it stalled out at the same step as it had for the genius person. Ilya spent some time scrolling through Reddit and checking if it was his photos, or maybe his contacts, until he saw a post from BigPapi27: my problem was with my voicemail lolll never checked it and it was full as hell. had to clear it out and then everything was fine.

    Well. That was probably it. Ilya didn’t think he’d checked his voicemail since he’d played for Boston. He wasn’t even sure where it lived on the phone, so he googled that too, and found out that not all the notifications on the phone call app were from missed calls. A lot of them were, but just as many were voicemails he hadn’t known were taking up all this space, causing him problems. 

    And, he realized as he scrolled, so many of them were from Shane.

    (or, shane starts leaving ilya voicemails. years later, ilya finds them all)

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    18 Jun 2026

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    Ilya was good at noticing things about people, and he was good at understanding them. Shane was not. That was okay. Shane had developed his own way of getting to know Ilya. It involved a lot of inane questions and, more importantly, no longer involved condoms.

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    03 Jun 2026

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    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

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    30 May 2026

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    “Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”

    “Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”

    Hayden stops, so Shane does too.

    “You don’t know who that was?” 

    Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer. 

    “Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious. 

    Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”

    “At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke. 

    “He’s a porn star, man.” 

    “A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?” 

    ---

    Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.

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    25 May 2026

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    After a viral photo outs Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov while they're still busy pretending their years-long situationship is mostly just sex, the fallout gets complicated fast. The world reacts badly. Their teams react worse. Ilya's future in North America starts to look alarmingly fragile, and Shane, who has never met a disaster he didn't try to control into submission, throws himself into fixing what can still be fixed.

    Ilya has spent his whole life being wanted for the wrong reasons and discarded for the right ones. Shane has spent his whole life believing that if he is careful enough, good enough, controlled enough, he can keep disaster from reaching the people he loves.

    A practical solution emerges, then a house, then rings.

    Somehow, by the time they say their vows, both of them are certain they are the only one who means them.

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