5 Works by psychoSlaughter
Listing Works
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Summary
Harry embarks on a self-appointed quest across the Scottish Highlands. Maybe it’s dangerous to not tell anyone about his plans (especially with an escaped convict on the loose and the giant spiders and the graphorn...) but Harry needs to do this!
Kick-started by a sudden love of fiction, it’s become clear that if he wants a chance of defeating Voldemort, Harry had better get a head start on this character development business that all adventure novel protagonists go through.
Sure, he can’t use magic over the holidays, but he’ll loot all sorts of helpful treasures (like a sword!), finally get the hang of potions via crafting bombs, pick up some hobbies, and make new friends and animal companions to help him along his journey.
(first draft completed, will update regularly)
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Summary
Harry is "rescued" from the Dursleys by a necromancer with glowing acid-green eyes and strange tattoos. His new mama isn’t the most affectionate, but she makes up for it by teaching Harry all sorts of exciting dark magic like crafting horcruxes and speaking to the dead. Despite this, he reckons he turned out just fine.
In which the adults don’t hang the weight of the world on one child’s shoulders, Harry gets to be a perfectly normal Hogwarts student (with only a few near-death experiences, a reasonable amount of murder, and his mass-murderer godfather hiding in his trunk), and the author spends a good portion of his time ignoring the plot for exploring magical theory and the power of friendship.
Series
- Part 1 of harry gets a little murder as a treat
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Summary
Another goblin rebellion is brewing, and Harry Potter is going to fund it. They’ll cut the boy a fair deal. He hands over the Potter fortune, and in exchange, they’ll do some simple tasks for him like revealing his countless Lordships, resurrecting his dead parents, and destroying Voldemort's horcruxes.
Luckily, the goblins have Burlik Big-Sword, the perfect goblin for the job. Serving as the fragile connection between beings and beasts, perhaps friendship, empathy and communication can heal the prejudiced roots deep in magical society. Or swords. Burlik would prefer to settle things with swords.
(A crack subversion of the OP!Goblins trope)
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Summary
“You have traps that hurt the body, but not ones that hurt the spirit,” Snape said in a somber tone. “The Dark Lord is arrogant, to defeat him you must break him. He has insecurity within, buried deep under many masks. Humiliate him, and he will falter. Emasculate him, and he will perish.”
James threw up his hands in defeat. “By pranking him with bloody schoolyard jinxes!?”
“It is the only way."James had no idea how things had gotten so out of control, but there was an obstacle course and a haunted house in their front yard, three different boggarts in their bathroom, and tripwire on every stair leading up to the nursery. Yeah… this will definitely keep out Voldemort.
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Harry Potter and The Muggle Postman by psychoSlaughter
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Aug 2022
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Summary
Ordinary muggle postman Edmund's day starts with pondering over a suspicious letter addressed to "the cupboard under the stairs" and ends with him single-handedly defeating the dark lord Voldemort.
Starts serious, ends very much crack