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Bertie Wooster is in love again but this time he’s quite shocked to realize the object of his affection is none other than his own valet Jeeves. Being a modern fellow, Bertie decides to throw caution to the wind a pursue his darling. But how to do it?
Bookmarked by dwarf
14 Jun 2026
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hate a fucking chartreuse by FortinbrasFTW
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), Black Sails
20 Apr 2022
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Izzy hates the Spring. He hates how everyone winds up waltzing around with wonder-filled faces, gazing out at the world like it’s suddenly Better just because the sun’s in a slightly different place. He hates how much longer it takes to park the motorcycle when bougie little scooters and e-bikes take up all the spots, how quickly it gets too warm to wear any decent looking jacket without sweating to death, and he especially hates how the color palette of everything from looming adverts to flowerbeds is attacked by a jubilant army of tacky pastels keen on pissing him off personally: all pinks and purples and chartreuse. Izzy hates a fucking chartreuse.
In which a year has passed, Stede still has a pitbull named Venny, Ed still has a terrier named Cat, Izzy Hands is a begrudging babysitter, and it's yet another lovely spring day in Washington Square Park for talking shit with hot strangers.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,271
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 119
- Kudos:
- 627
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 4,442
Bookmarked by dwarf
26 May 2026
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"You go first," Hans said, breathy against his ear. Henry felt like his fingertips might start to prickle from the lack of circulation.
"Shouldn't you?" he heard himself ask.
"My hero. You go first."
Series
- Part 13 of Et Nos Cedamus Amori
Bookmarked by dwarf
04 May 2026
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Merely a friendly request by reagiculimad
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
15 Apr 2026
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“Alright… What would you have me do then, Sir Hans?” Henry’s mind races. He can already see his lord ordering him onto a bath wench on all fours while Hans sits right beside them, taking notes like a scholar. Heat creeps through him, and he masks it with a crooked smile and a joke. “Shall I go fetch a book on arse fucking for you?”
Hans throws his head back and laughs. “Do you think me so cruel as to send you on such a tiresome errand?” He swigs his wine. “Though… there is something you could do to help. You wouldn’t even have to do anything, really.” He swipes his tongue across his lips.
_Or, Hans wants to try it in the butt, but there is no bathmaid in sight. Oh no, what is he gonna do?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,564
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 194
- Bookmarks:
- 27
- Hits:
- 1,378
Bookmarked by dwarf
30 Apr 2026
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The Curse we Made by GoldenGoblin (Kingsman315)
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
02 Mar 2026
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There are easier people to want than Hans Capon. Henry knows this, has known it for a while now. Yet Hans keeps showing up anyway, and Henry keeps letting him, and they almost never say anything about it.
But plague has a way of making cowards brave enough to do stupid things, and the thing about ‘almost’ is that it’s so much worse than nothing.
Bookmarked by dwarf
26 Apr 2026
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pick your poison by lucky_punk for Nerdybirdnerd
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
24 Dec 2025
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While making mischief in the woods, the boys are captured by bandits. They're left bound together, and soon enough Hans is struck down by a certain amorous affliction. Henry decides to help him through it--it's the squirely thing to do, after all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,730
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 18
- Kudos:
- 105
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 803
Bookmarked by dwarf
19 Apr 2026
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Quite a Lot to Take In by macaque for borealis
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
02 Apr 2026
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Henry flushed, crossing his arms. "It's not that! Plenty of girls liked me! It's, er, well my pizzle, it's—"
"Eurgh!" exclaimed Sir Hans, leaping away from him with his finger pointed accusingly. "Your peasant pizzle is diseased! I should have known!" He crossed himself hurriedly, then said, "How dare you get anywhere near me with that, now I've got to go have another visit to the baths—"
"No!" Henry protested, "I'm not diseased! It's too big, it is!"
Or, Henry of Skalitz has never had sex on account of being overendowed. For some reason, Sir Hans Capon decides to make it his problem.
Bookmarked by dwarf
17 Apr 2026
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Take your reward, my faithful hound by zorza (borealis)
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
09 Oct 2025
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Henry wants to put his hands and mouth on Hans' pretty feet. And if takes wearing a collar for it to happen, then who can really blame him?
Bookmarked by dwarf
28 Mar 2026
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At his mercy (he can't resist) by zorza (borealis)
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
11 Jan 2026
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His mind is muddled, but even like that he tells himself he should move. He tries, but can’t. Not his arms, not his legs, he can’t even roll over or lift off.
“You woke up too soon.”
Bookmarked by dwarf
28 Mar 2026
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Peasant courtship rituals by zorza (borealis) for gloriousdisco
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
06 Jan 2026
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Hans doesn't know whether he and Henry are in the courtship dance or not.
Until he lands between Henry's legs, that is.
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And Don't Let a Whimper Out by zorza (borealis) for OhTee
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
17 Feb 2026
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It started as a drunken challenge, a simple ‘think you can keep quiet?’ that Hans then carelessly escalated, all puffed up with pride and brazen bravado. He wouldn’t be able to keep quiet? Who did Henry think he was? No, he would manage to both keep himself quiet and composed, ‘you can fuck me against this window and I will prove it to you!’
or:
Hans tries to keep quiet as Henry fucks him against the window of their bedroom- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,381
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 248
- Bookmarks:
- 37
- Hits:
- 1,988
Bookmarked by dwarf
27 Mar 2026
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Henry missed the sound of Hans standing up. He only registered it when he felt Hans take his arm and rotate him, before his hands came up to encase both sides of Henry’s face.
“Tell me then.” Hans looked at him, sheer determination shown on his burning face. “If this is a sin.”
OR
Henry can't sleep. Hans can't sleep. They discuss sin, and commit some of it.
Bookmarked by dwarf
27 Mar 2026
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Forever Yours, Nocturnal Me by gloriousdisco
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
28 Jul 2025
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Hans wanted nothing more than to grab him, hold him, keep him close until the Praguers broke the walls down and took them both into Hell together. He wanted Henry’s face in his hands, to feel his pulse beneath his fingers whilst the man was still alive.
The thought did nothing but scare him into simply watching Henry go.The words in his chest went unsaid, even to himself.
Perhaps that’s how God intended it to be.
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or: hans never confessed at suchdol, and now finds himself torn between his responsibilities to rattay and jitka, and the way his heart beats solely for henry.
(…a lot of yearning and sleepless nights ensue)
Bookmarked by dwarf
26 Mar 2026
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Biding My Time, Drinking His Wine by gloriousdisco
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
08 Aug 2025
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“Henry! Do you doubt my bedroom prowess?”
His page set him with a withered look, though his eyes dropped down Hans’ body quicker than the snap of a branch; skimming the outline of him through his attire, peeking at the bottom of his pourpoint as if to assess his claim. Hans let his legs open a little wider; confident, smug. Henry blinked and brought his gaze back up in an instant, cheeks a faint shade of pink.
“I think you exaggerate.”
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or: hans learns henry is inexperienced. hans considers himself something of a sexpert. cue a very involved and highly heterosexual discussion of intimacy.
intimacy with a girl.
obviously. -
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Summary
He wishes he didn’t know. Oh, fucking hell, how he wishes he didn’t know.
His life would be so much easier, so much more straight forward and less goddamn distracting if he didn’t know.
But no. Oh, no, he just had to ask the bloody smart-mouthed, rat-arsed peasant, to join him in the fucking baths.
And now Hans is being fucking haunted.
- In which Hans makes an unexpected discovery about Henry, and it throws him for a loop.-
Bookmarked by dwarf
13 Mar 2026
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The great pizzle yanking tournament by MarlinGot
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
28 Dec 2025
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Henry accidentally catches Hans masturbating. Hans declares he'll get his revenge by catching Henry at it next. It takes a while for Henry to realise Hans is serious, and that it's maybe - not exactly - about revenge either.
Bookmarked by dwarf
12 Mar 2026
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5 times Henry of Skalitz told Sir Hans Capon what to do — and one time Sir Hans Capon begged for it by MarlinGot for PinkCherryBlossoms
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
16 Jan 2026
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The first time Henry tells Hans what to do – no ‘you should’, no ‘please’ – they are about six cups of wine deep each, so he forgives him.
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And five other times, until Hans finally gets what he apparently wants.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,233
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 231
- Bookmarks:
- 48
- Hits:
- 1,512
Bookmarked by dwarf
07 Mar 2026
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in gratia cantantes [ART] by wild_pale_yonder
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
05 Jan 2026
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A collection of all KCD related artworks from my NSFW Giftember 2025 challenge.
[!] This is not written work!
Series
- Part 2 of My NSFW KCD art
Bookmarked by dwarf
07 Mar 2026
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Blue Canary by AdequateGreenDress for Good_old_fashioned_lover_girl
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
06 Nov 2025
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"These days, I can’t get through a single petitioner meeting without some great oaf barging in and whisking me away.”
Sir Hans is right, Henry has to admit. He’d done it just earlier today: Knocked twice on his chamber door, and charged in without bothering to wait for a response. He’d interrupted a meeting between his lord and two of the town’s burghers, both notorious pinch-purses. They seemed to be in the middle of quite the heated debate. Something about one maliciously undercutting the other on the market price of salt.
When Sir Hans caught his eye, he’d smiled so sweetly, what was the captain to do but tell him he was needed urgently in the training yard?
AU: An older Henry, now Rattay's Captain of the Guard, and Sir Hans Capon, a jaded bachelor who, until this strange peasant barreled into his life, preferred to be left very much alone, spend the day together. Inspired by Birdhouse in your soul by Good_old_fashioned_lover_girl.
Bookmarked by dwarf
01 Mar 2026
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first time posting to ao3 omg hiiii....
i got a request to share my hansry stuff (mostly comics) which i post on bluesky on here so that people impacted by the highly unethical age verification laws being passed may still have access to it, so this is just me reposting the drawing from there.
this is a wip as in i will update it whenever i draw more; also if you have any requests for drawings or wanna see my sfw stuff too my tumblr is @gnightly as well - feel free to send me an ask ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )~✧
i love drawing horny artBookmarked by dwarf
28 Feb 2026