ataripearl
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“You saved me,” Cas says.
Dean wants to crawl inside that low rumble of a voice and curl up there forever. Delirious, he says, “Yes.”
Then Cas says, “You kissed me.”
Dean swallows. “And?”
Cas kisses him. Something burns at the hem of Dean’s shirt and his eyelashes flutter darker and it’s much, much later when he realizes he’d felt a spark from the lightbulbs blowing out.
*
Dean barely talks since Cas died. Even once they save him, it's too damn hard. In which fucked up coping styles leave both Cas and Dean convinced the other doesn't really love them. Cas thinks Dean is offering to sleep with him out of the goodness of his heart, or so Cas won't leave. Dean is trying to be less of a dick and ends up crying all the time. Cas just wants Dean to let him be the big spoon. They get to heal and be in love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,096
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 68
- Kudos:
- 1,991
- Bookmarks:
- 358
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- 27,726
Bookmarked by ataripearl
05 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Mind you, the vast majority of Enochian doesn’t directly translate into your language, so I’m doing it all an injustice. But it truly is one of my kind’s most delicate processes. Very fast - a star takes a minimum fifty-thousand earth years to reach its smallest stage, which is just a blip in the void - but precise and perfect. ‘Mechanical’ would probably be the closest English equivalent, but that’s far too dull to really describe it.”
Dean blows out a puff of air and says, almost whispers, “The language barrier ain’t the thing keeping me from getting this, Cas.”
Cas squeezes his hand. “Stay with me.”
✭
In which back-from-the-empty Cas and Dean have a heart-to-heart about stars in a snowy field in the middle of nowhere.
Bookmarked by ataripearl
05 Jul 2026
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Summary
Even though Chuck has been defeated and the world has been saved, there's no going forward for Dean with Cas still trapped in the Empty. After pulling off a rescue, Dean hopes that he'll be brave enough to take the necessary step and tell Cas how he feels. But, convinced Cas no longer feels the same way, he stays silent. With everything they've ever wanted close enough to taste, will Dean and Cas be able to face one more moment of vulnerable honesty before it's too late?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,075
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 227
- Bookmarks:
- 54
- Hits:
- 2,961
Bookmarked by ataripearl
03 Jul 2026
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Summary
Dean Winchester hadn't wanted anything in a long time. When he was young, he’d cried himself to sleep wanting his mother back, and when he was older, he'd wasted time wishing his father wouldn’t leave for another month-long hunt. It didn’t take long for Dean to learn that wanting was just the shortest route to disappointment. So, from an early age, he learned to focus on what he needed instead: to keep Sammy safe, have food in his belly, and always obey his father.
As he got older, the needs changed, but the pattern remained the same. He needed to hunt monsters, save the world, and drink himself into a stupor more often than he’d care to admit. When other needs arose, he satisfied them with whichever woman would have him for the night, always careful never to want anything—or anyone—beyond what was necessary for survival. Needs were simple—uncomplicated, instinctual, and painless. Wanting, on the other hand, was for suckers, for lucky bastards naïve enough to believe life was fair. Dean knew better; he knew the darkness, and the monsters in it, were real.
So, whenever Dean’s subconscious betrayed him by dreaming up the things he wanted, he dutifully ignored it.
Series
- Part 1 of What's Left
Bookmarked by ataripearl
03 Jul 2026
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Summary
It isn’t fast, all rushed confessions and desperate kisses, tumbling into a bed and crashing into each other with frantic relief like meteorites.
What happens after Cas is taken from him isn’t fast at all.
***
Dean won't let Cas die that easily.
After a knee-jerk, slightly reckless rescue mission, Dean finds himself without aim and without conflict for perhaps the first time in his life. Is it possible for him- for them- to grow after all this time?
And of course, in the centre of it all (hasn't he always been?) is Cas. Maybe the after wouldn't be so bad with him.
(OR: Dean and Cas come together in fits and starts, over a thousand firsts.)
Bookmarked by ataripearl
03 Jul 2026