SpoonDeficiency



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Words:
    50,973
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    185
  2. Summary

    “Me finding out that instead of mysterious and cool, people think I’m autistic and lesbian.”

    Ilya and Shane get Reddit’s advice under the aliases Lily and Jane. Things spiral from there….

    Words:
    35,142
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2,457
  3. Words:
    123,534
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    23
  4. Words:
    5,988
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    3

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya knew, right from the very moment he met Shane Hollander, that he would never be good enough for him. He’d seemed so…pristine, when they first met. Untouched. And Ilya knew his unclean hands would only dirty him up. He’s always been selfish, though; his father used to tell him that.

    So it’s no surprise, really, that Shane has finally gotten tired of it. Of him, always needing more from Shane than he deserves - always begging for more than he has earned.

    Ilya would leave himself, too, if he could.

    (Or, five time Ilya thought Shane would leave, and one time he knew he wasn’t going anywhere.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    384
    Kudos:
    7,859
    Bookmarks:
    1,568
    Hits:
    66,979

    20 Jun 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “I’m here. I’m here,” comes through, finally. “Sorry, just- I’m here. What do you need?”

    “Just talk,” Ilya begs, not even caring how pathetic he sounds. “Please.”

    “Okay, okay,” Hollander breathes. “You know. I keep thinking. This isn’t right. There’s something fucking wrong.”

    “Of course there’s something wrong, Hollander! Your building is on fire!”

    “I fucking know, Rozanov!”

    Or:

    Pre-tunamelt, in peak situationship era, Hollanov’s building catches fire… with Ilya still inside.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,544
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1,227
    Kudos:
    4,520
    Bookmarks:
    762
    Hits:
    64,627

    20 Jun 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The first time Shane had sensed it, they’d been three goals up, winning a game they didn’t really deserve to win.

    ‘Rozanov - ‘ something on his face must have given away how truly terrible he feels, because Hollander is stepping closer, a look of concern etched over his features. He bites back his words - Ilya sways, just barely, dizzy all of a sudden - and Hollander gets out ‘Ilya,’ the name low and far too intent. Hollander smells worried, rain-charcoal-loam, a thick miasma. 

    Ilya chokes back a noise of pain as his stomach cramps, deep pain low in his pelvis - another wave of heat flushes over his cheeks - and it’s then that he feels the first trickle of slick and realizes, horribly and suddenly, what must impossibly be happening. What has been happening.

    He's going into heat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,901
    Chapters:
    9/11
    Comments:
    173
    Kudos:
    681
    Bookmarks:
    189
    Hits:
    19,159

    20 Jun 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark 75

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    Summary

    After realizing his long term slutty situationship will never love him back, Shane (with encouragement from friends) decides to start sleeping with other people...like... a lot. And Ilya Rozanov notices.

    or

    Shane ends things with Ilya, embarks on his slut era while Ilya crashes out and makes it everyones problem (and also Reddit's)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,223
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    246
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    2,916

    20 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    What if, instead of saying Ilya’s name in Boston, Shane says the truth?

    or;
    Shane says 'i love you' when Ilya makes him a tuna melt and neither of them is ready for what comes after.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,432
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    138
    Kudos:
    4,377
    Bookmarks:
    693
    Hits:
    46,238

    19 Jun 2026