DerpyMcMerky
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Recent works
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im your play doll, baby, push me to my knees by DerpyMcMerky
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
20 Feb 2026
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Summary
"Seriously? I can’t believe you! You know what, I don’t care!” Gideon just laughs at his brother’s scoff, which sounds miles and miles away. “Right well, see you at home.”
“Yes, home! Bye!”
Gideon waves his brother off grinning and as soon as Fabian leaves, Sirius is right there, all his attention is on him, and Gideon can’t believe it. He’s entranced by him, fighting every urge in himself to not run his hands all over him, sink his teeth into him. Maybe this is the muggle drug kicking in, but Sirius is the only thing he can see and he never wants to look away. As they dance he’s never felt like this before, like he’s on another planet where gravity doesn’t behave as it’s supposed to and there are clouds under his arms and puppet strings tugging up his cheeks. He dances with Sirius as if it’s just the two of them, and his smile tingles his cheeks and whenever he catches Lupin’s eye, he sends him a smug, beaming grin because he has his arms wrapped around Sirius, he’s dancing with Sirius, he’s high with Sirius.
or: its James Potter's stag do and Gideon Prewett is still in love with Sirius Black (his sort of ex), Remus Lupin is so jealous it hurts, and James has one too many groom-to-be-shots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,188
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 38
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MAKING OUT (while the world collapses) by DerpyMcMerky
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Feb 2025
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“I just want to go out and have fun,” and forget, Sirius wanted to add. “You don’t have to come–hell, no one has to come, but that’s what I’m doing.”
Sirius lifted his head to glare, unblinking, at Remus as he stood like a lemon in the middle of the room. He wasn’t going to throw away celebrating his birthday, not because of this war. Not because of what happened on Halloween. He couldn’t—he needed something to look forward to. Maybe it was stubbornness, but Sirius didn’t care.
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Or: a fic of the First Wizarding War, of stolen young adulthood, of Sirius Black’s hedonistic thirst for fun and hunger for partying in spite of the collapsing peace in the Wizarding World, from the Marauder’s last day of Hogwarts, to the 31st October 1981.
Title taken from Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl by Chappell Roan
Enjoy XX
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FULLY FINISHED, and will be uploading a chapter bi weekly (aiming for thrusdays and monday!)
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“Remus… Remus, wake up!” A sing-song voice pulled Remus from sleep. “It’s Christmas! Wake up…”
His eyes focused on Sirius’s grinning face and matching snowflake pyjamas, and he couldn’t help but grin back. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up, his hip not in too much pain.
“Happy Christmas, mate.”
Sirius was glowing with excitement. “Happy Christmas, Moony!”
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OR a muggle au where Sirius and Remus are the only two in their house staying at school over the Christmas holidays. Sirius is almost too excited for the big day itself, and Remus is in chronic pain (yippee!) and can't keep up with him.
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"We're going to dance!" Sirius looked at Marlene to confirm this, and she was gulping back her drink. She grinned and nodded, placing the empty glass on the bar. "Moony, will you dance with us?"
"Absolutely not," Remus said.
"Later! You won't escape me!"
The Marauders and girls on a night out, where Sirius wants to get shitfaced and Remus is very concerned for his general wellbeing.
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Summary
Wolfstar! That's it. With a fat helping of jily.
They get better as you go, I've written these over several months. And they're all unconnected unless stated.
General warnings:
Theft, underage drinking, underage smoking/drug usage, internalized homophobia, talk about sex a lot, swearing
(will add as I go if needed, and there will be TWs and CWs at the beginning of each one shot, if it needs one!"Enjoy!! x
Recent bookmarks
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that something lovers call fate by rainbow_nerds for allbloomgold
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
13 May 2026
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Summary
Clark was in love. Deeply, pathetically, in love with someone whose name he didn't even know. But what was a name, really? What was a face, even, when he knew everything else there was to know about him?
When he had held Batman in his arms, felt his blood soak through his clothes to his skin, brought him back from the brink of death?
He was alive, and Clark couldn't stop thinking about him.
Clark loved him.
And he needed to move on. Find someone new, just to flirt with. Shake Batman loose from his mind.
Where better than a charity Gala he didn't want to work to find someone who might fit the bill?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,537
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
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- 37
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- 511
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- 64
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- 3,624
Bookmarked by DerpyMcMerky
23 May 2026
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i’ve been scared of crowded places by astralsunshine
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Nov 2025
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The villagers think Sirius is ill. Remus just thinks he’s worth fighting for.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,636
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 40
- Kudos:
- 99
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- 16
- Hits:
- 782
Bookmarked by DerpyMcMerky
10 Apr 2026
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“What do you want me to do?” Remus says, tiredly. All he wants is to curl up on his bed. Smoke a pack of cigarettes. Get drunk. He can’t stop looking at Harry.
“Remus...” Dumbledore is gentle. Remus hates when he has that tone. Hates that he knows it will hurt. “There is no one else left.”
A bitter laugh escapes him. “So you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,459
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 59
- Comments:
- 5,366
- Kudos:
- 50,518
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- 15,943
- Hits:
- 1,035,366
Bookmarked by DerpyMcMerky
18 Feb 2026
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My Love Language is Bringing Down the Government by Firesandfamily
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Jul 2025
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Summary
Remus never went to Hogwarts, due to anti-werewolf laws. Living an isolated life in Wales, he is forced to meet with a Ministry official once a month about his condition, as is required of all werewolves on the registry. Enter Sirius Black, the new officer in charge of his case.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,923
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 400
- Kudos:
- 1,115
- Bookmarks:
- 294
- Hits:
- 10,598
Bookmarked by DerpyMcMerky
17 Feb 2026
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Summary
Too Drunk To Drive — Hey, Nothing
It's a brand new year and the same old crowd
Guess it's what you get when you stick around
And you're so sick
Of acting like you really wanna be hereA party maybe wasn’t Remus’ first choice for New Year’s Eve festivities. Maybe second, so long as Sirius is by his side.
Bookmarked by DerpyMcMerky
27 Jan 2026