CalicoKitty402
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Recent works
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One Night in Riften Makes a Hard Man Humble by CalicoKitty402, TheFearsomeJabberwock, yelloskello
Fandoms: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Elder Scrolls
04 Jul 2026
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Summary
He needed to run. He needed to escape. The floor came up to meet him a second time as he tried to get forward momentum. He was going to have to try his chances in Riften proper, try not to get his throat slit. He couldn’t stay here though, he couldn’t...
His chest burned as he sucked in a breath and shoved himself up again, stumbling slightly to the right.
The beast howled inside of him.
Slowly, as his senses returned, he realized that pounding in his ears was the pounding of boots.
“Well,” Beatrice said, heaving a sigh. “Haven’t gotten much smarter, have you, Ashborne?” He looked over his shoulder, eyes wide–vision blurry. He could just make out her figure. Could make out as she raised the warhammer once again. “Nice try, though.” Xantos twisted, falling on his ass and trying to scoot backwards- his arms coming up to try and block his head... one of them, at least. The other was screaming with agony, doing little more than twitch at his side every time he tried to move it.
And she brought down the warhammer–
And was stopped.
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The gang heads to Riften to catch Mercer unawares, and Xantos' past comes back to bite him in the ass.Series
- Part 26 of You're Gonna Go Far, Kid
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The Ashmoore Family Reunion by CalicoKitty402, TheFearsomeJabberwock, yelloskello
Fandoms: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Elder Scrolls
25 May 2026
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Summary
Murray ducked down on instinct, yelping in alarm and shielding the package of fish like it was his child. The righthand wall of Vilemyr Inn blasted open, Xantos bouncing not once, but thrice down the road. He rolled a little, ending up face down against the stones. Murray stared after him with wide eyes, then jumped, his head snapping around when he heard the crack of thunder and saw a bright flash of light out of the corner of his eye.
Something was following the dunmer out.
A veritable stormfront preceded the Telvanni wizard, billowing clouds and zaps of stray lightning shooting out, scorching the ground and building alike. Aremi staggered out of the hole, almost stumbling on debris–but never looking away from Xantos, her face contorted in a furious snarl–or… What Murray could see of it, anyway. She was clutching the side of her face with one hand, and swaying a touch.
“You thick-skulled ingrate,” she growled, her voice ragged. Lightning was pouring out of her hands, skittering across the ground. “How dare you?!”
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The Gang catches up with the Winterhold School Kids. Wilhelm's Inn might not survive the encounter.Series
- Part 25 of You're Gonna Go Far, Kid
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Xantos Gets Yammed by CalicoKitty402, TheFearsomeJabberwock, yelloskello
Fandoms: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Elder Scrolls
03 May 2026
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Summary
It had hit her just after she’d gone to patch up Franc in his room–when she’d gone to see how Alinor was faring with Xantos, and the old bandit had been looking so gods-be-damned pleased with himself and his latest row with his ex-second. She didn’t know how she’d missed it before: the wide smile, the devil-may-care countenance, the relaxed slouch in the way he held himself… These damn fights were Xan’s way of blowing off steam. Of fucking course that’s how he’d go about it. Wouldn’t want to put more on her or the lad, right? Trouble them with his issues? Assuming he was thinking that much about it in the first place.
But it wasn’t working, was it?
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In which Xantos and Osprey get down and dirty, at least Alinor put them in the room with the thickest walls.Series
- Part 24 of You're Gonna Go Far, Kid
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All Good Roadtrips End In Assault. by CalicoKitty402, TheFearsomeJabberwock, yelloskello
Fandoms: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Elder Scrolls
17 Apr 2026
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"She bROKE my HAND!” Ancano pointed, emphatically, at Osprey.
“AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN!” Osprey yelled again, ever more emphatically, almost stepping out from behind Xan.
“And y’ put your hands on my damn son!” Xantos snarled, taking another step forward. This time all of the Thalmor took a step back. “Of course m’ damn wife defended him!” Xantos roared.
That distracted Osprey for a moment. Wife? …Right. The cover. …Seemed like an odd time to be sticking to it, but, sure.
The whispering amongst the faculty did not go unnoticed, and Osprey could feel judgemental eyes on them. “Of course that would be the woman who raised Sybil.” Faralda whispered to another man. “I don’t know why I was surprised.”
“Step back, or get thrown!” Xantos said, voice tight.
“Now, Ashborne” The Archmage started, but one of the thalmor stepped forward, as if he thought the mages would be on their side. Osprey hardly even heard the intake of breath before the words rang out, echoing off the walls of the chamber:
“FUS RO DAH”
-The Gang touches on some quests that may become relevant later while looking for Sybil.
(last chapter updated with new ending, see note for details)Series
- Part 23 of You're Gonna Go Far, Kid
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Draugr Don't Make Good Tour Guides (A Winterhold School Kids Adventure) by CalicoKitty402, TheFearsomeJabberwock, yelloskello
Fandoms: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Elder Scrolls
14 Mar 2026
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Summary
The ruined city of Saarthal was an archaeological marvel, if one was into that sort of thing. It was the site of the first city built by Atmorans on the whole of Tamriel. That had to count for something, right? Sure, nowadays it was little more than the stones peeking out of the metric fuck ton of snow and the ruins of a city that had been burned out of spite, but… The history. The gods-be-damned history. Carved into every fucking stone, or whatever. Oh, all the pieces and shards of pottery, oh the old rusted cutlery, oh the... really old rocks.
Unfortunately, Murray couldn’t really appreciate all that history at the moment; he was too busy freezing his testicles off.
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Sybil and Aremi drag Murray and Lydia on an adventure.Series
- Part 22 of You're Gonna Go Far, Kid
Recent series
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You're Gonna Go Far, Kid by CalicoKitty402, TheFearsomeJabberwock, yelloskello
Fandom Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
04 Jul 2026
Summary
The great doors of Dragons Reach swung open, pillars lining a massive mead hall with great arching ceilings and balconies above. Once upon a time, in Skyrim’s more peaceful days, it would be host to every Jarl in the province, great moots held to determine the fate of Skyrim’s people.
As it was, the hall was empty save a single older man sitting upon a carved wooden throne and the court wizard in sleep clothes who went to stand behind him. His eyes had drifted closed, his breathing gentle and soft as he leaned hard against his palm. Ireleth took the steps up the dais two at a time, coming over.
“So the dragon has been driven off?” he asked quietly as the guards pulled Xantos up the last flight of stairs. One pattered up further, moving behind the throne while holding Xantos’ sword.
“Killed, my jarl, and I have brought the ones responsible- you’re... you’re not going to like it, my jarl.” Irileth looked over her shoulder to where the collected misfits were standing. "One of the heroes is a companion, the other is a dunmer girl, and a small breton mage-”
“And the last one is Xantos Ashborne.” Balgruuf finished. “How in oblivion did he end up fighting the dragon?”
- Words:
- 1,135,914
- Works:
- 26
- Bookmarks:
- 8
Recent bookmarks
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The Accidental Mandalorian Empire by Triskellion
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton
05 Apr 2024
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Or "Oops, Kyr'tsad was supposed to be the empire builders."
Obi-Wan Kenobi knows he is meant to be a Jedi Knight. He has been telling everyone else this, following the will of the Force, and still getting stomped on by life. Well, the Senate of all krififng things sending him as tribute to the Mandalorian Empire, leaders unknown, sounds like another swift kick to the balls. But maybe, just maybe, Obi-Wan is about to end up where he should have been.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,092
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Comments:
- 362
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- 2,761
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- 1,058
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- 40,348
Bookmarked by CalicoKitty402
05 Jul 2026
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- Words:
- 387,420
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 2,930
Bookmarked by CalicoKitty402
04 Jul 2026
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Summary
Two days after Obi-Wan Kenobi returns home from his year-long mission to Mandalore, he and his dear friend Quinlan Vos go out for a night of drinking and shenanigans. And Quinlan is certain, absolutely certain, that after all Obes has gone through, he has to have at least some of his Knight Trials in the bag. He harps on this. It is annoying.
Obi-Wan thinks he’s full of shit, naturally.
The next day, sober and full of chaos, in most Universes Senior Padawan Vos shakes it off and just complains to his master. In this Universe, Senior Padawan Vos has a quiet word with the Master of Shadows. This is the single, changed snowflake whose destiny is to become an avalanche.
This is how Quinlan Vos saves the Galaxy.
Series
- Part 2 of The Red Thread That Binds Us Together
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 91,870
- Chapters:
- 14/21
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,348
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- 1,240
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Bookmarked by CalicoKitty402
26 Jun 2026
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The Last Gate Found by ArchOfImagine
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
03 Jul 2026
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Summary
Jaskier never planned on being a father. Especially not to his best friend’s child.
Now he’s running from the ashes of Cintra, keeping a tiny princess safe, muddied, and full of energy, all while navigating tavern gigs, tricky magic, and a druid who thinks he knows best.
With a cheeky, distant presence whispering in his mind and a city full of questions, he has one goal: keep Cirilla alive and out of danger…
...and maybe find this Geralt of Rivia guy who is definitely not in Rivia. (Jaskier checked.)
A tale of soulmates, found family, and the chaos that comes when life doesn’t go according to plan.
Bookmarked by CalicoKitty402
12 Jun 2026
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- Words:
- 156,477
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 27
Bookmarked by CalicoKitty402
12 Jun 2026