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Sitting in the meadow was the only actual pleasure I had. It didn’t provide much, anyway. Not anymore. Mother only let me out for a few hours every day because of all the men vying for my attention. They were all simple-minded and not worth my time. I had no interest in it, the sport of love.
Just a few days ago, Apollo had come to see me. He had provided a drop of sunlight but didn’t let me touch it because it would hurt me. I had no interest in touching the thing because it was so bright.
“Will you have the honor of being my wife?” he asked me after a while of pointless chatter between us both. I had taken one step back and closed my eyes.
“You say I will have the honor. Why is that? Why can’t we both have the honor? Tell me, Apollo, what color are my eyes?” I asked him. I heard shifting and grass being crushed under feet.
“Emerald. They are emeralds and just as valuable,” he said and I felt his fingertips brush my cheek, near my eyes. I opened my eyes and gently brushed his hand away.
“Crafty with words, aren’t you? Leave my presence and return when you can love someone else as much as you love yourself,” I said and walked away, dismissing him.
Two days after, Hermes decided to pay me a visit he said was “long overdue”. He spoke of flying and how he could take me places I hadn’t been. How I could meet more of the other gods and goddesses. Once he was done rambling, he had asked me to marry him. I had tuned in and out of his rant but came back just in time to hear that.
I had climbed up a tree we had been near and hung upside-down. I covered my face with my hands.
“What color are my eyes?” I asked, feeling the blood rush to my head.
“The color of ivy. And conceals just as much,” he said touched the back of my hand to pull it away from my face.
“I refuse, Hermes. You speak far too much about things you know nothing about. I do not wish to see the other gods and goddesses, nor do I wish to leave this place. You assume that what interests you must interest others. As well as you seem to only care about yourself, being that’s what you mostly spoke about. Leave me,” I said and dismissed him.
Yesterday, I heard word from my half-sisters that the men were calling me an “ungrateful shrew”. I paid no mind to it. I knew I wasn’t. I simply did not wish to be with a man who could see no farther than his own reflection.
Currently, I was making a crown of flowers I had picked. My time outside was almost up and I hadn’t finished the crown because I had just started. Perhaps I could extend it another ten minutes to finish it.
I felt the ground shake under me and I got to my feet, dropping my flowers. The meadow split and Hades in his chariot emerged.
“Persephone. Come with me,” he said and reached out a hand. His black hair fell in his face and covered one of his black eyes. He stared at me intensely, so much so that I felt heat flood to my cheeks.
“Why should I?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“Please. Will you come with me?” He asked me. He tried very hard to show that he didn’t care if I got in voluntarily or not, but something seeped out. Perhaps it could be called fear of rejection. He didn’t want me to say no.
“Why should I consent to go with you?” I retorted, staring at him.
“Please, Persephone. I would not do anything you do not wish I do. Will you give me a chance?” he responded. He did not give off the same air that Hermes or Apollo did. He gave off a vibe of “why would anyone want me?”. It was refreshing.
I covered my eyes with my hands and asked, “what color are my eyes?”
“Green. No, wait. Dark green. Like grass… or maybe I said that wrong… look, just get in,” he said with more power in his voice once he realized he let a little bit of his insecurities through. I dropped my hands from my face and placed one in his.
“Take me,” I said to him.
“No! Persephone! Don’t!” I heard my mother shriek from behind me. I turned around to see her running towards us. I quickly got in the chariot and looked at Hades.
“Let’s go,” I commanded and he stared at me as if he never expected me to command him. “I’m sorry, Mother! Goodbye!”
Hades pulled the reins so we turned around and went back into the Underworld, my mothers screams being cut off as soon as the ground closed overhead.
I did not interact much with Hades after that. We had meals together and said goodnight, but that was all. I spent most of my time in my room. Hades sometimes left me things to read outside my door but I wouldn’t see him. That only lasted about a month, though. Eventually, I couldn’t take the isolation.
I walked to the throne room where I knew he would be. He was gazing off into the distance, his hand on the side of his face.
“Hello,” I said to him. His head snapped to me, his attention on my face.
“Hello, Persephone. Is there anything you want?” he asked and stood up from his throne.
“Yes, actually. I wish to speak to you,” I responded and met him halfway. He paled a little but looked into my green eyes and nodded.
“What is it you wish to speak about?” he asked softly.
“Why me?” I responded and looked up at him.
“Death is meaningless without life. Just as life is meaningless without death. You are life, light, warmth. A woman brings warmth and beauty to the most barren and desolate places. I am death. Only here to give meaning to life - to you. I wanted you here to know what it felt like to… be with a woman. But I see that you fear this place, you fear me. Do you wish to go?” he spoke softly, as if speaking in any other way would hurt me. I looked into his black eyes. Yes, they were black, but they held a warmth. Not life, but kindness.
“I do not wish to leave. This is a new place I had never seen before. I usually do not like new places, but this one seems fine. Actually, I would like to spend more time with you. Isolation does not please me,” I said and tried for a smile. “I agree, by the way.”
“Agree?” he seemed shocked that I would say anything but “I wish to leave, let me go.” I wonder if he just got used to people thinking he was bad, just because of his position as God of the Underworld.
“Life is meaningless without death,” I said and looked into his face. I hoped he would get the message: that I was meaningless without him.
Hope and happiness filled his expression and made it wonderful to gaze upon his face. Any other woman would look upon his face and recoil. Black hair, black eyes, pale skin, and a scar running from his hairline down his nose, over his lips and down to his chin. But I did not fear him. I could not fear him.
No, he was not a perfect man. He seemed introverted and he feared rejection, but perfect was boring. That was why I had rejected Apollo and Hermes. Perfection was not what I wanted. I wanted this man, Hades.
Months passed, but I did not notice it. We spent our time reading and learning and playing. But mostly speaking. We spoke a lot and that made me happy. He spoke and I listened and vice versa. We were both interested in what the other had to say. Even when we weren’t, we just listened anyway.
We would play hide-and-seek and guessing games. He also taught me how to fight. He was gentle, though. Always so gentle, as if anything other than gentleness and softness would make me fear him.
Yesterday, I was informed that I was away a year. Time passed so quickly here, I noticed. It didn’t feel like I had been gone more than four months.
I had been sitting with Hades in the throne room, resting in the circle of his arms after we had raced. I was faster than him, but he had gotten much better. Then, we had sat in front of his seat, his arms around me and his chin sitting atop my head.
“Persephone?” he murmured, his voice deep. The sound of his voice always relaxed me.
“Yes?”
“May I tell you something?”
“Anything.” He pulled away from me just slightly and sat in front of me. He tilted my face so I looked at his own. A coy smile was playing at the corners of his lips.
“I love you. My heart is yours to do with as you wish. I feel like you’ve known this for a while now, but have been waiting for me to say it. So, I’ve said it. I love you,” he said and inhaled deeply, the smile winning over and lighting up his face. I let out a little giggle and covered my mouth.
“Oh, dear. I’m sorry. I’m just… very happy. I love you too,” I said behind my hand. He reached up slowly and removed my hand from covering my mouth. He stared into my eyes, then slowly down the bridge of my nose, then down to my lips. He bit his own then his gaze locked with mine again.
“Persephone? May I…” he whispered, not seeming to be able to get anything else out. I leaned forward and closed the distance between our lips.
He tasted of sweet wine and pomegranates. His lips were soft and inciting. An arm slowly wrapped itself around my back and his hand found my own. He laced our fingers together as he kissed me.
His kiss was the only thing not gentle about him. It was filled with passion and hunger, as if he could not get enough. Neither could I. We didn’t get enough until he carried me to his room and we consummated our love. I was no longer a virgin goddess.
As we lay on the bed, he had held me close to his body as if someone were going to take me away from him. We both fell asleep and when we had woken up, he had been caressing my arms and face, as if he didn’t believe it had actually happened. That I was actually his and his alone - because I wasn’t.
“Your mother wishes for you to return,” he had said into my hair. My mother… I hadn’t thought of her in ages. Nor about my half-sisters.
“I do not wish to return. I wish to stay with you… and be your queen,” I said to him, my hand sliding from his chest to the side of his face. I looked up at him pleadingly.
“You must. I know how you hate being told what to do, but please do this. For me,” he said and smoothed my red hair. It had gone from a warmer copper to a bright fire-red in the time I’ve been here. My skin color was white cream and the freckles over the bridge of my nose and my cheekbones stood out more. My eyes were now a bright, lucid green. I had gone from having girlish beauty to being an exotically beautiful woman. I no longer belonged in the world above us. I belonged here, in the Underworld, as Queen.
“What is my mother doing, Hades?” I had asked him.
“It’s winter, up above. But it’s a never-ending winter. For a year now. Too many things - people - are dying… you mother wants you to return. And unless you do, the winter will never end. Please, you must go,” he whispered into my hair but his arms tightened around me. He stroked my back and my arms and kissed me lovingly. He did not want me to go either.
“I must, mustn’t I?” I sighed against his lips. Tears filled my eyes. What if she were to keep me above and I would never see him again? Never be where I belonged again?
“Yes… do not think that I want you to leave, my love. That is not the case. Do not cry,” he said and kissed the place where a tear had fallen. I placed both hands on his face and kissed him, pulling him close to me. I pushed him away after a few minutes and sat up.
“Hades, I will return.” I looked at him and he looked up at me from his position on the bed. He ran a hand down my hair and caught a strand at the end.
“How?” he asked, looking into my face. He looked determined, his jaw set.
“Give me a pomegranate,” I said to him and ran a hand up and down his bare chest.
“No, Persephone! You’ll forever be tied to the Underworld! If you don’t come back, you’ll die. A part of your soul will be stuck here,” he said, sitting up. He grabbed my hands tightly, fear in his eyes.
“I’ll return. I’ll always return for you,” I said and kissed him. Tears slid down his face.
“You can die. I can never see you again. You’ll be lost to me,” he whispered against my lips.
“Only if I don’t return. And I will return. I promise you,” I said and kissed him hard. He had nodded and he made love to me again, then we both fell asleep. He did not let go of me the whole night.
Now, I was in our room. I had my different robes - all various shades of black, grey, purple, and navy - packed away and I had my crown. It was silver made to look like intertwined vines with sapphire and amethyst stones set like flowers. It had been made months ago, but he gave it to me today as a parting gift and to officially state that I was his queen and the Goddess of the Underworld.
I walked out and stood next to the Acheron with Hades to wait for Charon to arrive. He had his arms around me from behind, as always, his hands on my stomach. His chin rested on my shoulder.
“I will wait for your return,” he whispered. He dropped one arm and reached behind him for half a pomegranate.
“How long should I be away?” I asked him and lay a hand over his, resting on my stomach.
“Eat three. Winter you will be with me only and autumn you will be with us both. Spring and summer, you will be with your mother,” he said softly as I laced our fingers together.
“Only three?” I protested, turning to face him. I looked up into his face, trying to sway him otherwise. Sorrow was evident on my face and he took my face in his hands, setting the half on a table he conjured up out of shadow. He pressed his marred lips to mine and sighed into my mouth.
“Yes, only three. Do you wish for more things to die unnecessarily? No, you do not. I know you do not,” he said and looked into my eyes. I looked at the scar that ran down his face. He had never told me how he got it.
“How did you get your scar, my love,” I asked softly. I knew Charon was behind me but I wished to be with Hades just a little longer.
“Fighting off my father before he devoured me,” he whispered and looked away. “It’s hideous, I know.”
“No. It’s not to me. It’s part of who you are. Just as your hair and your eyes are. I love every part of you,” I said softly and he smiled.
“Persephone… it’s time to go,” Hecate said from behind me. I hadn’t known she was the one sent to bring me back.
Hades took the half of the fruit and took out three seeds. He placed them on his tongue but did not swallow.
“Take them from me… Goddess of the Underworld,” he said, his words held a subtle lisp because of what was on his tongue. I kissed him hard, his tongue exploring my mouth as mine did his. He left the seeds on my tongue as he pulled away. I looked at him somberly.
“I love you,” I said and swallowed the seeds and got on the boat. Hecate placed an arm around my shoulders as Charon led us out.
“You look different, little one. Whether it be the air around you or your looks or perhaps your new position as Goddess of the Underworld, I will not know. Which do you think it is? Considering your mother wanted you returned as you were taken. Consequently, that is not the case being that you seem to be an entirely different person, outside and within,” she said and gave me a fond smile. I did not return it.
“I am different and I am the same. But I am not who she wishes I was anymore. I don’t think I can be the daughter she wants ever again,” I said to her, feeling drained.
“That is obvious, young goddess. But she wishes to see you,” she said and dropped her arm.
“Get one thing straight,” I said to her, looking at her face.
“Say it.”
“I am no young goddess. At least not mentally anymore. And I do not belong in the world of the living.”
“You see, that last bit I am sure is wrong. Because you belong to both worlds,” Hecate said as we got to the end of the river. We both got off and I paid the ferryman. He did not take my money, though.
“I take no wages from the Goddess of the Underworld,” he said to me and turned the boat around and rowed away.
Hecate and I walked out into the daylight. Everything was white and dead and everything seemed barren.
“Mother?” I called out and looked beside me. Hecate was gone. “Mother!”
I saw a figure emerge, hair the color of wheat framing a beautiful face. One that was clearly grieving.
“Mother!” I called out and ran to her, my hair coming lose from the knot I had put it in. It fell down my back in waves and curls as I ran to her. The cold burned my lungs and made it painful to breath, but still I ran. My mother took me into her arms and buried her face into my neck, sobbing my name. Slowly, the air warmed up and the white snow melted.
“Oh, that horrible man has finally let you go!” she sobbed into my neck. I pushed her away so I could breath.
“He’s not horrible. I never would’ve come back had he not asked me to,” I said, looking at her. Her eyes searched my face, perhaps for any remains of her daughter?
“He took you from me!”
“Because my father told him he could! And I went willingly!”
“What has happened to you?” she whispered and brushed her fingertips over my cheek.
“I grew up. Something you were trying to stop. I became who I was meant to become, the Goddess of the Underworld.”
“You mean he… took you?” she looked pale and swayed as if she were about to faint.
“Yes. Because I allowed him. He’s gentle, Mother. And kind. He loves me, just as I love him. And he’s selfless. That was proven when he chose the lives of the people you were killing with the cold over keeping me for himself. But I made the choice to go back.” I said, trying not to show how annoyed I was by the fact that she was speaking about my husband this way.
“Go back…?” she asked, seeming to be confused.
“Three months, I will spend days here and nights with him. Then three months after, I will be only his. You may keep me for the six months prior to that,” I said calmly and she looked about ready to have a conniption.
“You’re going back!? To him?” she shrieked. I flinched.
“He’s my husband, so it’s only right. The deal was made already, so accept the fact that you get me at all,” I snapped and she straightened, accepting what has been done.
“Fine. You may keep him as your husband,” she said, resigned.
“I would even if you said I couldn’t,” I said, setting my jaw. She led me inside to eat and I realized I missed the Underworld already. It was my home. But this was my mother and the deal had been made. I had to keep my end up. And I would. I had promised Hades and I was a woman of worth. We kept our promises to the people we loved.