Chapter Text
—-
grace grace wake up. why does human turn around if it knows that will kill human mate question. grace grace grace grac-
"Eughhh."
Nothing is going through my head.
Except for one thought.
I really need some water.
grace
"Okay, okay, hang on, Rock."
I call out for some water, which Armando graciously gives me.
I take a deep breath, ready to answer whatever question Rocky has for me this morning. He's taken to researching while watching me sleep and always has some question ready for me. Yesterday was about philosophy, and the day before about sociology.
"Okay, I'm ready. Shoot."
why does human turn around if it knows that will kill human mate question
Okay, not the question I was expecting.
"What? Rocky, what do you mean? Turning around doesn't typically kill mates, or any humans."
He pushes the laptop toward me, the screen nearly bumping into my face. I quickly skim the page, gathering that he's reading some kind of story.
here- it says on human thinking machine that orpheus can't turn around otherwise mate eurydice will die but orpheus turns around statement
Ah.
Orpheus and Eurydice.
why orpheus turn if orpheus knows it will kill mate eurydice question
—-
“Mr. Grace?”
I look up from the stack of papers I'm grading to see one of the kids from my morning class standing in the doorway.
“Oh, Rachel! What's up? Anything I can help you with?”
She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, looking oddly hesitant.
Immediately, I brace myself.
She's going to ask what's on the test.
Please don't ask what's on the test.
I literally went over it this morning.
I won't not tell her, but still... a little annoying.
“I'm really sorry to bother you during lunch,” she says, “but I just had a question I reeeally wanted to ask you.”
Please don't be about what's on the test. Please don't be about what's on the test.
“Why do you think Orpheus turns around when he knows he shouldn't?”
...
Huh.
Okay.
That's a first.
Greek mythology from a science teacher.
Then again, I can't exactly say I'm unfamiliar with getting completely random questions. Comes with the territory of teaching middle school.
“Ummmm... good question.” I scratch the back of my neck. “But... wouldn't it make more sense to ask your English teacher? Or even your history teacher?”
“I know, I know!” she says quickly. “It's such a random question! I've just been thinking about it all day, and I figured you might have a good answer. My English teacher kind of drones on and doesn't really give a good answer...”
Ah.
Well.
I can't really blame her if she's not getting an answer that satisfies her.
And if it's been eating at her all day...
“Okay,” I say, turning toward my computer. “Then I guess we'll just have to research a good answer together, huh?”
As I pull up Google, the grin spreading across her face says it all.
—-
grace grace
I hear Rocky calling my name as I slowly come back to reality.
I've been having more and more flashbacks recently.
Most of them aren't anything important. Just little snapshots that surface out of nowhere—a student asking a question, the smell of dry erase markers, the sound of chairs scraping against the classroom floor.
Enough to make me miss Earth a little more than I'd like.
"Sorry, Rocky. I'm back... just another memory."
ah earth memory understand. grace answer rocky now question
I hum absentmindedly, still thinking about Rachel.
Funny.
She wasn't even the only one to ask me that.
A kid from one of my Earth science classes had wandered in after school a few weeks later with the exact same question. Different kid, different class, same puzzled expression.
Why would he look back if he knew what would happen?
I remember spending almost twenty minutes with him throwing theories back and forth until the bell for after-school activities rang. Neither of us had come any closer to an answer.
Maybe that's why the story stuck with me.
"So..." I sigh. "Sorry, Rock. I don't really have a good answer."
"I guess I should explain first that... it's just a story. Nothing that actually happened. Just something humans made up a really, really long time ago."
understand. we have something similar on erid.
"You do?"
yes. old stories used to explain feeling before science explanation existed.
"Yeah..." I smile. "That's pretty much what myths are."
I glance back toward the laptop.
"I think... humans just like trying to explain things that don't have clean answers. And love is kind of one of those things."
Rocky stares at the screen for another few moments.
human thinking machine gives many explanations.
"It does."
none satisfactory statement.
"...No."
I shrug.
"I don't think they're supposed to be."
Rocky tilts his carapace, a habit I guess he's picked up from me.
why.
"Because if there was one perfect answer..." I trail off. "People probably would've stopped talking about the story a long time ago."
Rocky considers that.
Then, after a few more seconds, he quietly pushes the laptop away
understand. grace rocky begin work now statement.
I blink.
"...That's it?"
yes. explanation sufficient enough.
I laugh.
"Somehow I don't believe you."
Rocky doesn’t say anything, just skitters away in his hamster ball ready to go back to work.
I guess I gotta get back to work saving Earth. Stupid Earth, getting in the way of my hobbies.
—-
The next time he brings it up, we're in the lab aboard the Hail Mary, working on the newest generation of taumoeba.
Well.
I'm working.
Rocky is making slow circles around the lab in his hamster ball, occasionally stopping to look over my shoulder as I analyze the latest samples.
I don't even look up when he speaks.
grace question.
I smile slightly.
"Please tell me this isn't about Orpheus again."
The ball bumps gently against the side of the workstation.
orpheus question.
I let out a laugh.
"Rock."
yes grace.
"You've been thinking about this story for almost a week."
five days.
"That is somehow worse."
Rocky ignores that.
journey demonstrates sufficient love for mate.
I glance away from the taumoeba culture I'm examining.
"Yeah. I would agree with that."
then final action contradicts previous actions.
I set the sample down.
"...Yeah."
"I guess it does."
Rocky's ball rotates slowly as he thinks.
if orpheus willing to risk self for mate then why fail final instruction question.
I lean back against the counter.
"Okay. That's actually a good question."
thank you.
I roll my eyes.
"Don't get too excited."
I look back at the culture dish in front of me.
"I don't think he failed because he didn't love Eurydice enough, though."
why.
"Because if he didn't love her, he wouldn't have gone to the Underworld in the first place."
"He didn't just make one risky choice."
"He made a hundred."
"He walked into the land of the dead. He faced things no human should have to face. He convinced the ruler of the Underworld to even consider giving her back."
I carefully adjust the settings on the microscope.
"You don't do all of that for someone you don't love."
Rocky is quiet.
then why make final decision.
I sigh.
"I don't know."
I look down at the taumoeba sample, watching it move under the lens.
"I think humans like to believe love means you'll always make the right choice."
"But it doesn't."
why not.
"Because love doesn't turn off fear."
"It doesn't make you stop doubting."
"It doesn't suddenly make every decision obvious."
I move to the next sample.
"Sometimes when something matters that much..."
I pause.
"...that's when it's hardest to think clearly."
Rocky's hamster ball slowly rolls closer.
love increases importance. increased importance increases fear of loss.
I glance over.
"Yeah."
"Exactly."
I smile a little.
"You're getting very good at human emotions, you know."
statement unexpected.
"You're analyzing them like they're another science problem."
they are problem.
I laugh.
"Fair."
Rocky goes quiet again, clearly storing the information away.
then orpheus loved eurydice sufficient amount.
I look over at him.
"I think so."
"Actually..."
I look back down at my work.
"I think that's why the story stuck around for so long."
because humans enjoy unresolved problems.
"Maybe."
I carefully record the results from the taumoeba sample.
"Or maybe because humans understand that loving someone doesn't guarantee you'll never make a mistake."
Rocky's ball makes one slow circle around the lab.
understood.
A few seconds pass.
grace.
"Hm?"
taumeoba sample seven requires new nitrogen exposure trial.
I stare at him.
"...You really know how to ruin a moment."
statement incorrect. moment successfully concluded.
I laugh quietly.
"Sure, Rock."
—-
The numbers don't change.
I know they won't.
But I write them down anyway.
The whiteboard is already covered in calculations. Equations layered over equations, old numbers crossed out and rewritten, different possibilities boxed and unboxed.
I step back.
Earth.
Rocky.
Fuel.
Time.
Distance.
Every possible route.
Every possible outcome.
I grab the marker again and run through it one more time.
Maybe I missed something.
Maybe there's a variable I didn't account for.
Maybe there's some solution hiding in the mess of numbers staring back at me.
There isn't.
I circle the final calculations.
I have enough.
Just not enough for both.
The route home.
The route to Rocky.
Two paths.
One choice.
The logical part of my brain keeps trying to turn it into a math problem.
Maximize survival.
Minimize risk.
Choose the option with the highest probability.
But the problem is...
I already know the answer.
There isn't a decision.
Not really.
Because I know what I'm going to do.
I pick up the marker.
Slowly, I erase the coordinates that lead home.
For a moment, I just stare at the empty space on the board.
Then I write the new ones.
Rocky's coordinates.
The path away from Earth.
The path toward him.
And as I put the marker down, I realize something.
I laugh quietly.
Because after all this time...
I finally understand Orpheus.
The story I couldn't explain.
The question Rocky kept asking.
Why would someone turn around?
Why would someone make the one choice they were told would ruin everything?
I thought the answer was that humans were irrational.
That fear got in the way.
That love made people do things that didn't make sense.
But I was wrong.
There was never a question of whether Orpheus would turn around.
Not really.
If Eurydice was behind him, he was going to look.
Because she was the reason he went into the Underworld in the first place.
Because every step he took was already a choice.
He had already chosen her.
I look back at the whiteboard.
At the calculations.
At the route I erased.
And I think about Rocky.
The alien in a hamster ball who somehow became my family.
And suddenly the story makes sense.
The tragedy was never that Orpheus loved Eurydice too little.
It was that his world demanded he do the opposite of what love demanded.
Don't look. Don't turn around.
But this isn't Earth. Or the Underworld.
Out here, everything is opposite.
Up is down.
Left is right.
And in space...
turning around saves Eurydice.
I look at the new coordinates written on the board.
"Well, Rocky."
I put the marker down.
"Looks like we're taking the long way home."