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Rudo shifted to the side with a groan, red eyes fixed on the ceiling. Days like these were the worst, and Regto wasn’t around to help him this time. The image of Regto’s lifeless eyes flashed across his mind and threatened to send tears to his eyes.
He blinked for a moment, letting the cold from the floor seep through his clothes and send shivers through him— he just couldn’t bring himself to care.
The whispers had been present for a while now, you’re just a piece of trash. Worthless. Broken. He’ll be a murder just like his father. RUN RUDO! Murderer. Throw the filth out!.
None of those voices hurt half as much as the quiet whisper of his own voice, Regto would be alive if it wasn’t for you. You could have stopped it if you had Just. Moved.
Rudo knew that this would be the consequence for avoiding to change his bandages, he just thought he would have more time before he needed to deal with it. Ignoring the shooting pain, he raised an arm up to the ceiling and assessed the state of his arm.
The bandages were covered in filth, stained brown with dried blood in some places and turning red in others. That was going to be hell to peel off. A sharp, almost crippling, pain shot up his arms. He bit his lip to hold back a groan and squeezed his eyes shut. Damn, guess he was out of time.
Steeling himself, Rudo slowly sat up with his back against the wall and reached for the bowl of water. Once when the bandages had dried to his arm like this, Regto told Rudo to soak his arms in water to help loosen them.
He did the best he could, and eventually began to work on peeling the bandage off of his left hand. The water helped some, but it was still slow going and painful. At every groan, he bit down on his lip a little harder.
He needed to keep this quiet, otherwise Riyo would probably bust in through his window, locked or unlocked. Rudo startled when a drop of fresh blood hit the bandage.
He gingerly opened his mouth and let his tooth slide out of his now-bloody lip. Damnit. He unwrapped the last of the bandage and looked at the mess that was his arm. The area around the cuts looked slightly inflamed. Hopefully they weren’t getting infected. Fresh blood was sluggishly welling from the scars and dripping onto the floor.
It was okay though, he could clean it up later. Rudo just needed to finish unwrapping his right hand, wash both his arms, find bandages, and then he’d be done. He would have to figure out the bandage part later though.
***
When both hands were finally unwrapped and a pile of dirty bandages were on the floor, Rudo shakily let out a breath. The pain in his hands had intensified, and was throbbing mercilessly.
The cuts felt a little hot to the touch, hopefully it was just from the irritation and not an infection. The water in the bowl was a murky brown and no longer clear. His hands really needed to be washed.
After what felt like an hour, Rudo made it to his feet and over to the water spout. Gingerly he twisted the handle and watched the water pour out. It was still amazing to have such a precious resource available in such an enormous quantity.
Rudo watched the water run and waited for his panting to slow. When he had regained his breath, he blew it out in a huff.
That was a trick he’d picked up over the years. If there isn’t air in your lungs, you can’t scream.
Rudo froze for a moment, feeling sweat trail down his back and bead on his forehead. It was now or never. With that, he stuck both arms into the stream of water.
Immediately, it felt as though his arm was set on fire. He clenched his teeth and willed himself to bear it. It was necessary, and it had to be done.
At least the pain would serve as a good reminder if he ever considered ignoring his hands again. With that thought, his vision went white and he was out before he hit the floor.
***
“...o, Rudo, Rudo.”
Rudo felt a light tapping sensation on his face and tried to place the voice.
“Hey kid, time to wake up now.” Oh, Enjin. He clearly cracked one red eye open and met the concerned look in Enjin’s yellow ones.
“There you are, kid.” The tapping stopped and Enjin drew his hand away from Rudo’s face and crouched.
Rudo looked around. He was still in his bathroom, back up against the wall. Heart in his throat, he risked a glance at his hands. Thankfully, he was still wearing the blue hood that the cleaners had given him. It was large enough that the sleeves covered his hands completely.
His arms still burned, but it was no longer the crippling pain he had felt before. Rudo forced his eyes back up to meet Enjin’s.“...Enjin, wha-?”
“You tell me. Here I was, ready to take our resident Spherite trash picking, and he decided to show me up. I waited for about half an hour, then figured you got sidetracked and came to see what was up.” The tone of his voice shifted from casual to serious and the always present smirk dropped from his face. “Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to find soiled bandages and blood on the floor.”
Rudo broke eye contact and ducked his head. It did nothing to shield him from Enjin’s searching gaze. Rudo felt as though holes were being drilled into the top of his head. It felt like Enjin could read his mind in that moment, and it reminded him of Regto. Damnit, stop thinking about him. Rudo hastily blinked the tears away. He refused to cry in front of Enjin.
Enjin sighed. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
“I’m fine, you can leave now. I-”
Enjin held a hand up and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m gonna stop you right there. Here's what’s going to happen. We are either, one, going to take a field trip to the med bay and have Eishia check you out, or,” Enjin moved his head, trying to catch Rudo’s gaze.
When Rudo pointedly ignored him, Enjin just paused, waiting for Rudo to meet his eyes. When he finally did, Enjin continued, softer than before. “Or two, you can tell me what’s going on and I’ll help you take care of it right here.”
Rudo stayed silent for a second, before asking meekly. “Is there a third option?”
“Nope,” Enjin said, popping the ‘p’. “It’s one or the other kid, make a choice.”
Honestly, neither option sounded appealing to Rudo. But the less people involved in this, the better. He muttered the choice under his breath.
“What was that? Didn’t quite hear you.”
Rudo gritted his teeth. “The second one.” Rudo saw a slight flash of triumph in Enjin’s eyes before it disappeared.
“Alright, kid, tell me what’s going on.”
“I-well. You see-” Rudo cut himself off, hating that he could feel his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. People were always disgusted by his scares. They weren’t natural and were honestly horrible looking. People had always treated him like he deserved it, just because of who his father (a man Rudo hardly remembered) was.
Enjin placed a gentle hand on Rudo’s head and ruffled his hair, pulling Rudo from his thoughts. “It’s okay Rudo, it’s just me. I wanna help.”
Rudo took a breath, then began. “It’s-I didn’t change the bandages.”
“Okay, that’s a start.” Enjin looked thoughtfully at Rudo before prompting. “You didn’t change the bandages from…where?”
Rudo felt his face grow hot and his shoulders hunch a bit more. If Regto was here, Rudo wouldn't even have to explain anything, Regto would know just by looking at him. Why was this so damn hard? Rudo ground out “...’s my hands.”
“Can I see them?” Enjin asked gently, hand still moving in Rudo’s hair.
In answer, Rudo lifted his right arm out to Enjin and picked a spot on the floor to stare at.
“I’m going to pull up the sleeves now,” Enjin warned, taking Rudo’s arm gently in his hand. Even the gentle touch hurt, and Rudo found his tooth in his lip again, fresh blood dribbling out. “Hey, hey, don’t do that.”
To Rudo’s surprise, Enjin pulled out a cloth and held it to him. “Here, bite on this instead’a your lip if it hurts.” Rudo put the cloth in his mouth without a word, and Enjin once again turned his attention to Rudo’s arms.
When the sleeve was pulled back, the only sound of surprise from Enjin was a soft exhale and a quiet “Damn, Rudo,”. Quickly, his other arm was given the same treatment. “How long did you have those bandages on?”
Rudo shrugged and stared at his ruined hands. “I don’t know, a few weeks.”
“Ah hell,” Enjin cursed softly, carefully inspecting Rudo’s left hand. “Those cuts are definitely infected bud.”
“Shit.”
“‘Shit’s right.” Enjin agreed, carefully releasing Rudo’s arms then standing. “I’m gonna grab a few things, then I’ll be right back. Got it?”
“Got it.”
***
As soon as Enjin left the space, Rudo found himself staring at the wall. It was mocking him.It would be so easy to just…get out of this situation.
He could feel his mind start to slip as the pain in his hands worsened again. He really didn’t want to end up suffering a full attack. It was bad enough when he had to deal with it by himself. Enjin being there would just make things even more unbearable.
He turned to the side a little and gently tapped his forehead against the wall experimentally. Regto hadn’t been happy with him last time he had done something like this.
He thunked his fore-head into the wall a little harder, and then again, hoping to numb the pain in his hands. With a final thunk, Rudo finally began to feel a little fuzzy. One more time would do it. Just as his head hit the wall for a final time, the door swung open again.
“Guess who’s-Hey, HEY! Rudo what the hell are you doing!?” Hands grasped his shoulders and spun him away from the wall. He followed the arms up to meet Enjin’s slightly blurry eyes.
“Jesus Rudo.” The man took Rudo’s chin in his hand and tilted it to get a better look at his face. Enjin looked tired, which was the first time Rudo had seen this particular expression on the man’s face.
“Looks like you didn’t manage to concuss yourself. Why would you do that kid?” Rudo broke Enjin’s gaze and looked away with a small shrug. “I want an answer bud. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
Rudo stubbornly maintained his silence until Enjin sighed. “Okay kid, you win for now. We will be talking about this at somepoint.” With that, Enjin turned to the bag he’d brought into the room and pulled out medical supplies. “This is probably gonna hurt a little.”
***
Rudo was sitting on his bed now, back pressed into the corner, hands cleaned and wrapped. Enjin was sitting at the foot of the bed, waiting for Rudo to finally answer his question. “Why did you try to concuss yourself?”
Well, there was no getting out of it now. “It helps dull the pain.” He admitted, better to tell the half-truth than the whole truth in this situation.
Enjin turned to stare at him like he was a parasitic alien worm, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “I brought pain killers, those are the pills I brought ya. There was no need to bash your own head in.”
Rudo shrugged and muttered something vague about never having heard of those before. “Jesus, you kids are gonna be the death’a me.” Enjin groaned dramatically, putting the back of his hand against his forehead.
Rudo examined the little white cylinders Enjin had brought. “How can these help?”
“Well, they-” Enjin cut himself off, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well, I actually don’t know. You just take them whole with some water and then bam! You’re feeling a hellofalot better in a little while.”
Although Rudo was still skeptical, he didn’t think Enjin would lie about something like this. He took two pills in his hand, placed them in his mouth, and swallowed them.
Enjin made a face. “It’s much easier to take it with water,”
Rudo shrugged, eyes feeling heavy.. It didn’t bother him. He’s eaten much worse. Now that he thought about it, he was exhausted. “What time is it anyway?”
Enjin gave his watch a quick glance. “It’s almost seven thirty.” When Rudo yawned, he just smiled a little ruefully. “I guess you’re pretty tired huh. Go ahead and sleep, I’ll wake you up in the morning.”
Rudo needed no further convincing, and was out the second he closed his eyes.