Archive of Our Own

The water is way too hot. 

Chuuya knows it is because he feels the way his shoulder blades burn when the water hits his skin. But he grits his teeth and twists the handle farther anyway until the steam fogs everything up, and every breath he takes, brings a heavy dampness into his lungs.

He doesn’t care that it’s too hot.

The pain from the scalding water helps a little in taking his mind off everything else.

Tonight work has managed to wind him up so tightly that he can still feel the remnants of the day buzzing under his skin. Pent up frustration and anger… mixed with an exhaustion so heavy, he feels like gravity is working against him for once.

The water pelts steadily against the back of his neck, as he braces his palms flat against the dark tile, letting his head hang down, and his eyes fall shut. For just a moment. Each inhale makes his lungs feel sore.

He knows that he just needs to shut off his brain. He’s even turned off all the lights aside from the one above the shower, letting just the amber light project the haze around him, making it hard to see anything else than what’s directly in front of him. Like a little cocoon.

He likes his position as an executive of the port mafia… but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get hard sometimes.

Chuuya has… a lot of responsibilities. 

He hears the echo of the bathroom door softly open, and then click shut, making him jolt. Then a second later, the shower door opens with a heavy slide.

He feels the annoyance bubble up immediately.

“Dazai, I— “ but the words die in his throat when he looks over his shoulder. Dazai says nothing as he steps inside to join him. Doesn’t even spare a glance his way at first. He just turns his back to him and steps under the second shower head, letting the water run down his shoulder blades.

There’s no stupid comment hanging off his lips, or a smug grin on his face, just his bare figure silhouetted against the steam. He’s still wearing his bandages, and they stay in place… winding up his arms, his shoulders, and his neck under the water, turning translucent against his skin as they dampen.

Chuuya watches Dazai’s long arm reach past his own chest to adjust the temperature slightly, just enough that it stops the sting between his shoulder blades, before he turns back to adjust his own temperature. Chuuya feels his shoulders drop just a little at the subtle gesture.

Then Dazai reaches for the shampoo bottle sitting on the built in shelf, and for a moment, Chuuya expects him to move closer. If only he would just slide his long fingers back into his hair like he already knows he’d be allowed to. 

But instead, Dazai flips the bottle open and works the soap through his own hair first.

It’s strangely distracting to watch… but also really fucking intimate, too.

Chuuya watches the amber light cascade down his figure in a glowy haze as his dark brown hair falls into his face beneath the spray. When he tips his head back, the light catches the hard protrusion of his adam’s apple, and the hard angle of his jaw. He uses one hand to push wet hair away from his eyes while the other scrubs slowly through it, as the water trails down the sharp line of his throat, and down the contours of his chest and abdomen, before disappearing lower.

Chuuya doesn’t dare look lower, and instead turns his face back toward the tile before he gets caught staring.

Behind him he can hear the soft slick sound of the water, and Dazai moving beneath the second shower head.

He’s giving him space.

Neither of them move to speak, but it’s not awkward or anything… more like domestic? Almost. Chuuya never quite knows what to make of that word.

Dazai always acts aloof in public… it’s just part of the performance he puts on as some kind of protective layer.

But moments like this remind Chuuya how frighteningly attentive he actually is beneath it all, just with him. And Chuuya knows that right now, Dazai’s not gonna touch him until he knows he’s relaxed and receptive first. 

A few minutes ago his thoughts had felt completely out of control, and granted… they still feel too much, but at least they’re starting to dull a bit around the edges thanks to the heat and the grounding sound of Dazai’s steady movements behind him.

He hears more soft sounds, before stiffening as Dazai’s warm hand lands at the base of his spine, sending a tingle up it. His touch lingers until Chuuya starts to melt into the contact, before tracing his fingers upward, and threading them at the base of Chuuya’s lock along his neck.

He tugs on it slightly and Chuuya lets his head fall back, as he sighs at the feeling.

Dazai pauses at the reaction for just a second, before silently continuing to trail his fingertips down the length of it, the motion sending a pleasurable feeling crawling across his shoulder blades.

Chuuya’s grateful when Dazai doesn’t ask what happened, or make a joke out of Chuuya being in a bad mood. He just settles near Chuuya in a way that feels comforting without needing to talk. 

Like just existing together in the same space is the answer. 

Because Chuuya doesn’t mind having him in his space right now when he’s acting so… like this.

Chuuya exhales slowly as Dazai’s fingertips meet the soft skin of his shoulders, and he lets his forehead rest against the tile as Dazai’s fingers push his lock over his shoulder and trail down each notch of his spine until he reaches the sensitive spot at his tailbone. 

He doesn’t rush it.

Dazai’s other hand finds the opposite side of his lower back, as his fingers crawl around his hips and squeeze just a little, making him shiver, before turning him around carefully. 

Their eyes finally meet for the first time, just briefly, and it immediately makes Chuuya feel vulnerable, which Dazai must pick up on, because he promptly turns his attention upward. Then before Chuuya can protest, his fingers slide into his hair, slowly pushing them through his scalp, and guiding his head back under the water. It’s gentle, but firm.

Chuuya’s eyes flutter shut and he lets out a soft sigh as Dazai starts working shampoo through his wet hair gently, letting his nails scrape lightly against Chuuya’s scalp in a way that sends heat straight down into his stomach almost immediately. It’s almost embarrassing because Chuuya knows that Dazai notices the way his whole body starts to relax under his touch.

It’s unfair how good he is at this. 

Taking him apart carefully, piece by piece. 

And it’s not even in a sexual way, yet he feels the moment his body slowly starts to become more responsive to the feeling of each rake of his fingertips across his scalp… and the anticipation for more when he lifts his fingers off his sensitive skin, just to run them through his hair again.

Chuuya feels Dazai’s hand trail beneath his jaw for a second before placing a finger under his chin and tilting his head back under the spray. He does it confidently, like he expects Chuuya to comply… and he does.

He fully lulls his head back and lets Dazai take control as he rinses the shampoo from his hair. He even allows him to run conditioner through his ends afterward, and slowly work the pads of his fingers down into the knots at the base of his neck until he feels the tension start to melt.

There’s something deeply unfair about the way Dazai handles him after days like this. After years, he can read him easily. He can pinpoint exactly where his tension is, and immediately knows just what to do to ease it loose with patience and touch and…

Dazai reaches for something behind Chuuya, and it takes him a moment to register the sound as him lifting the detachable shower head from its holder on the wall. But Dazai doesn’t let him think long enough to protest, as his hand finds his waist again, and he turns him back to facing the tile. 

Chuuya’s palms flatten instinctively against the damp wall, as he dips his head between his arms and exhales.

He really doesn’t have the energy to fight him on this.

Then he feels the warmth from the shower head press against the back of his neck, making Chuuya’s breath catch softly in his throat.

He’s got it at the perfect temperature, and on a strong enough setting that he feels it start to loosen his muscles almost immediately as Dazai drags it slowly down the sides of his neck and across his shoulders. 

Chuuya exhales hard as Dazai takes his time, making sure to linger more in certain areas that Chuuya’s known to get knotted up at.

And god, it feels so good.

Chuuya lets his eyes close as he feels the water trail downward along the deep contours of his body as Dazai continues to move the stream across his shoulders, and push it deep into his shoulder blades. He goes down one arm, and then back up again slower this time, pushing heat and delicious vibration into his triceps and biceps. He feels the heat soak deep enough down that the ache and fatigue that’s settled into his muscles starts to lessen.

He makes extra passes in the small spot between where his neck ends and his shoulders begin, and the small spaces on both sides of his spine that still ache faintly from overusing his ability earlier. And when a small shudder runs through him, or a faint groan leaves Chuuya’s lips, Dazai focuses on that spot just a little longer until he feels him relax.

As Dazai works through every inch of him, each pass of heat and pressure slowly begins making Chuuya more light headed and more hyper aware of his own body.

The buzzing in his head begins to numb out as he turns his focus to the feeling of the warm water dripping slowly down his skin, the thick steam curling in his lungs, and his pulse beginning to kick up… but now in a much different way. 

It almost begins to drive Chuuya a little insane how Dazai stays close with one hand still touching his waist… but nothing more. Chuuya can feel his body heat in contrast to the water, and hear his soft breathing behind him, but he still manages to keep himself just enough at a distance that their bodies don’t brush.

Not even accidental contact… no way to tell if this is affecting him too. He bends himself back a little further, but even though Dazai’s body heat is close, that’s all he gets in return.

The pressure of the water begins drifting lower now… slowly down the center of his back.

He exhales shakily as his own heat drifts down his spine and swirls down deep in his stomach. Dazai takes his time, dragging the water pressure slowly down lower until the water reaches the small of his back and then he lingers there, causing a quiet sound to slip out of Chuuya, because it feels good. Too good.

Then he feels Dazai pause, before he continues… but this time he moves slower. Drawing deep circles into Chuuya’s lower back and tailbone. Chuuya sways his hips a little, chasing the feeling when he moves away too quickly, pressing into it and nodding as he finds the right spots.

Dazai doesn’t tease him, thankfully… and lingers longer on certain areas, when his soft moans slowly turn into lower sounds of relief.

Then the pressure begins to trail even lower, with him dragging the warmth over the sore muscles in his hips, his ass, and the backs of his thighs now. Chuuya lets another deep groan leave his lips, because his entire body is beginning to feel overheated in a more familiar and pleasurable kind of way.

Sex helps. He can’t help himself when the words cut through the haze in his mind. That’s what Dazai usually tells him when he comes home pent up like this. And he’s always been right. It’s not like it fixes anything, but it’s never failed to be successful in dragging him out of his own head and forcing him back into his body. And orgasms also don’t fix anything, but they sure as hell silence the noise in his head, and make things a hell of a lot more bearable.

Especially coming from Dazai, who is way too good at getting Chuuya there every single time. Multiple times.

And Chuuya’s not sure if this is gonna lead to sex… but it almost hits the same way.

Dazai works the warm water pressure deliciously down the backs of his legs now, lingering along the dips in his thighs, behind his knees, and his calves as they flex in response to the attention he gives them.

Everywhere Dazai lingers leaves his skin hypersensitive afterward, and the closer he seems to drift near the now pulsing spot between his legs, the more Chuuya feels impatience begin to bubble up inside him.

He exhales another shaky breath, and finally gives up trying to keep himself steady, surrendering to the feeling and letting small helpless sounds slip out of him now, somewhat hoping he’ll notice. They're quiet, but still impossible to completely hide.

But he can't help himself as the anticipation of where he’s going to move to next builds his arousal even more causing goosebumps to prick across his sensitive skin, even though he feels hot inside. There’s something extremely intimate and also erotic being handled this carefully by Dazai all while he says absolutely nothing at all.

Another soft moan catches in Chuuya’s throat when the pressure drifts upward again along the inside of one thigh before redirecting away at the last second.

His body shivers in frustration. Is he… teasing him? Or is that just what Chuuya is hoping this is.

With Dazai it’s almost impossible to tell.

Water trails down Chuuya’s neck to his chest, as beads of heat roll down slowly over his erect nipples, causing his hands to ball up into fists against the tile with how good the warmth feels there.

Then finally Dazai’s voice gently breaks the silence. “Does that feel good?”

Chuuya swallows hard. “…yeah,” he manages to say after a second. His voice sounds rougher than usual.

He inhales sharply as Dazai drags the heat in slow circles over a tight knot gathered right at the base of his tailbone, and lingers there. It sends a shudder through him almost immediately as the water trails down the center of his ass.

Does Dazai even know that each circle he makes is slowly taking Chuuya apart? 

Fuck.

His forehead presses against the cool of the tile again as another sound tumbles out of him.

He’s sure he knows exactly what he’s doing, because everywhere Dazai touches seems to build the pleasure inside of him more and more. He can feel the heat starting to pool in his stomach, and a familiar ache settling in at the base of his spine.

Another slow pass over the same spot pulls a louder sound out of him this time, and Chuuya knows that Dazai notices by the way the pressure remains there, even as Chuuya’s breath breaks into rougher pants, and his back arches at the overstimulation.

He can feel how hard he is when his knees buckle into each other for a moment before he steadies himself again.

And Dazai probably knows that too. Chuuya can feel the way he keeps returning to the same sensitive spots along his lower back, coaxing reaction after reaction out of him.

He has to be teasing him, because he still doesn’t get closer… or even touch him directly, even when Chuuya pushes impatiently against his ministrations.

It’s maddening.

Heat rushes through Chuuya again when the spray drifts lower, and then Dazai fully takes advantage of Chuuya’s arched back by directing the pressure right between his legs for one brief second before sliding back upward along the curve of his spine.

A broken moan rips from his throat, as his knees buckle at the surprise… but fuckkkk does it feel good. And now it’s gone.

Dazai can be the biggest asshole when he knows he’s got Chuuya completely wrapped around his finger… and his cock. And Chuuya’s quite possibly given him exactly what he wants.

To be able to drag this out. 

But Chuuya’s… impatient tonight… and he needs relief. Now.

Because… well, if Dazai’s not gonna get him off right this second, he’s gonna handle it himself. 

He takes one hand off the tile and slips his slender fingers between his thighs, and he’s so sensitive that just the feeling of his own fingers against himself, makes him toss his head back shamelessly with a moan.

He’s wet. Like really wet.

Dazai exhales softly through his nose… the closest thing to a visible crack in composure Chuuya’s gotten out of him yet. 

He can hear Dazai’s voice now… teasing him… tsking him… telling him how he’s soooo impatient… 

… but instead, Dazai stays quiet, and presses the spray once more against the small of his back… right where he likes it… and the heat begins to curl even more viciously through his stomach.

Dazai has this terrifying ability to be able to drag Chuuya back into his body instead of focusing on the noise in his head, forcing sensation to become the only thing he can focus on.

It’s exposing… him being in this position, but Dazai makes him feel safe to enjoy himself.

He’s giving Chuuya what he wants tonight, and Chuuya is oh so fucking grateful for that.

He feels like he could cum already as his fingers move quickly and desperately against himself, but that thought, as well as all his other thoughts get lost just as quickly as he thinks them, because Chuuya feels himself already halfway gone to pure sensation with the delicious mix of friction, steam, and the relentless drag of the water across his skin. He feels his breathing start to go uneven, and his legs get weak.

Dazai moves behind him and settles a hand around Chuuya’s middle to steady him, as the other hand moves the detachable shower head to trail it across his stomach first… before pausing there and waiting for permission to continue. The water runs down his torso, and his abs clench in response to the heat.

Oh fuck.

Ohhh fuck… yesss.

Chuuya’s other hand comes back up against the tile in response, and a small but frustrated sound escapes his lips, because he’s incredibly worked up. “Plea— .”

Behind him, Dazai exhales softly, and then he moves the direction of the warm water lower, right between his legs before the words even finish leaving his lips.

Chuuya’s entire body all but convulses as an unrestrained sound rips from his throat, and his grip on the tile falters for just a moment because…

“F—fuckkkk…” The pulse of the water mixed with the heat of it, feels so good.

Dazai grips Chuuya tighter around his torso to steady him… and Chuuya is thankful because suddenly his legs are trembling. 

And when he moves closer, his body finally presses up against Chuuya from behind, and it must be an accident, because he hears the groan that comes up his throat, that he tries to stifle immediately by pressing his mouth into Chuuya’s shoulder and biting down. But the sound is beautiful, reverberating against his skin, making his head flick back as he hisses at the sting from his teeth. The fact that Dazai’s very hard causes a whine to leave him, and his body reacts by pushing back against him.

And thankfully Dazai gives in by staying close and letting Chuuya continue to relentlessly brush against him. Even though Dazai stays quiet, Chuuya feels the way his cock throbs with each rut. The way his breath sounds a little more ragged behind him. When Dazai finally speaks again, hovering low over Chuuya’s left side, his voice is raw and hot in his ear.

“Want me to keep going?”

Chuuya swallows hard, and his answer comes out rougher than he means it to.

“…yeah.”

Then Dazai continues… but even more relentlessly now as he adjusts the angle again, finding the exact spot that makes Chuuya fall apart every single time. Chuuya’s fingers curl harder against the tile as he lets out another whine, flicking his hips up into the pressure, and then back against Dazai.

Then Dazai leans further in, caging him between his cock and the wall, and plants a kiss softly against Chuuya’s neck. Soft in comparison with the ruthless way Dazai continues using the water pressure to work him closer to his orgasm.

Chuuya makes a sound he doesn’t recognize as his own. Then another, as he grinds his ass against Dazai’s cock. His mind feels like mush as his breathing quickens and he feels that familiar warmth begin to build between his legs.

He’s close, and Dazai doesn’t stop.

He kisses his neck again, before sucking small bruises into his skin, slowly forcing Chuuya to come undone beneath him.

He feels each circle of pressure come back around as he forces breath between moans and expletives.

Behind him, Dazai’s breath is ragged in his ear as Chuuya flicks his hips against the pressure, and grinds back against him. He cries out when he feels Dazai’s hot mouth brush just under his ear as he speaks.

“Let go, Chuuya.”

And it’s like he says the magic words as Chuuya’s brain short circuits, and he breaks apart the second they leave his lips. The sound he makes disappears into the rushing water as his shoulders drop all at once, the tension unraveling so quickly it leaves him lightheaded in its wake.

Dazai catches him before his legs give out underneath him, keeping his arm firm around his torso, because Chuuya’s orgasms always seem to hit him hard and fast. But tonight, this one seems to linger even after the wave passes. An ache that makes him press his thighs together and groan in frustration all over again.

The pressure at Chuuya’s waist eases as Dazai withdraws his hold on him, also moving his heat away from his back. Chuuya whines at his absence, but before he can turn around and drag him back in, Dazai presses the shower head lightly into Chuuya’s hand.

His fingers close around it on instinct, because Dazai knows he’s not done. Chuuya’s never satisfied with just one orgasm.

Chuuya exhales once, shakier than he means it to be, and angles the spray back down on himself.

He feels a little clumsy at first, as his hand shakes from the way his body feels way too responsive now, but also extremely pleasurable as he rides that fine line of overstimulation. And with every small pulse of water that presses against his erection that is forming again, it sends another ripple of warmth through him.

He moans and buckles his knees as he finds the right spot again, circling it before running the spray up and down the small length of his shaft.

Finally the overstimulation eases, as he eases into the pleasure forming again very fast.

Another low sound slips out of him as he hears Dazai’s voice again in his ear… “That’s it.” Encouraging him.

Even though he’s backed up a bit, Chuuya can feel him there anyway watching him, as he hears him make a soft noise behind him.

But Chuuya’s already too lost in the building pleasure, to care what he’s doing. He adjusts the angle again, and falls into the familiar rhythm… a little slower this time. His grip tightens around the handle as another groan breaks out of him as he starts to chase another orgasm.

He tilts the shower head slightly lower and his head dips forward to rest against the tile as a louder exhale slips free, shaking at the edges.

Behind him, Dazai presses back into him again. Chuuya shivers because he’s warm and still very hard. Dazai kisses him again softly against his neck, causing him to turn his head to the side to give him more room. And that’s when he sees a small bottle of lube in Dazai’s hand in his peripheral vision.

He’s holding it loosely and has it turned just enough for Chuuya to register what he’s offering. It’s a silent question, because that’s all he really needs.

Chuuya’s breath catches in his throat and he feels his erection pulse between his legs as he looks at the bottle.

Then he is just as quick to nod, as he feels Dazai shift his posture in response.

He sets the bottle down somewhere just out of sight, and presses a palm flat in between his shoulder blades to bend him over just a little further.

Chuuya keeps the shower head angled low, but slows down his ministrations enough to halt his orgasm and edge himself a little more because… Dazai is about to make this even better.

He feels a shiver of anticipation trail down his spine when he feels Dazai move closer behind him, and when his palm trails slowly down to his ass and squeezes, Chuuya moans again, and nods frantically.

His grip tightens slightly on the handle, pushing into Dazai more now that he knows what he’s doing, as his breathing turns into uneven pants that make his head fuzzy. 

Dazai takes his time as he rubs against Chuuya’s entrance with the pad of his slicked finger, causing another moan to tumble out of him, before slowly sinking inside him.

The pressure feels incredible, as Chuuya continues edging himself through Dazai’s slow rhythm of in and out… each time going just a little further into him.

It slowly dawns on Chuuya, through the haze… that Dazai isn’t teasing him like he first assumed.

No.

He’s being gentle tonight. 

He’s almost forgotten he could be this… he slowly starts working a second finger into Chuuya. It cuts off the thought, as well as his breath as he takes a sharp inhale and tenses, before slowly relaxing into Dazai’s soft thrusts.

Chuuya had long ago stopped wondering how Dazai could read him so well. Somewhere over the years, he’d simply just accepted it as another one of those impossible things Dazai could do. 

Maybe it’s the length of time that’s stretched between them… but he’s gotten insanely good at telling the difference between Chuuya’s irritation and exhaustion, anger and fear, between him wanting space and wanting Dazai close to keep the walls from caving in around him.

Tonight, he’d gotten it right again.

Chuuya needed distraction. But not only that… it’s a distraction mixed with something… more intimate. Comfort.

Something that tomorrow they’ll probably never mention.

There won’t be some awkward conversation over breakfast, or an attempt to dissect why Chuuya had needed this tonight. Dazai won’t ask, and Chuuya won’t volunteer it.

Some things between them had long ago stopped needing words.

They’d simply exist for one another in the moments that mattered, then quietly fold them away like they always did.

They've always been good at that.

But Chuuya knows that if another day like this comes, Dazai will be what he needs again without having to be asked.

And that’s enough.

Chuuya pants as Dazai scissors two fingers in and out of him at a more rhythmic pace. He feels comfortably full now, and Dazai’s fingers feel good buried deep inside him. He could take more, and he wants more… desperately… but this will have to do because—

Chuuya cries out as Dazai twists his fingers in him the way he likes, right as he feels himself on the edge of another orgasm.

“Fu— Dazai— “ He manages, as he pushes back into him harder. He’s gonna cum again. The water pressure is in the perfect spot, and Dazai’s moving at a pace that is almost too much.

Dazai just hums in his ear, and braces one fist against the wall in front of Chuuya, before burying his face into Chuuya’s neck and pushing deeper into him. He can feel Dazai’s breath coming out ragged and tinged with arousal brushing against his skin, and his erection pulsing against his ass.

Chuuya’s borderline overstimulated.

But Dazai pushes in one more time as Chuuya feels himself get lightheaded, and he scissors his fingers, pushing them against his sensitive walls, and Chuuya’s orgasm hits him hard as he cries out around Dazai’s fingers, tightening around them hard. 

Dazai’s hand moves from the wall to wrap around Chuuya’s torso, as he feels his legs buckle again, and his forehead dips down as he struggles to catch his breath on the comedown. 

Eventually Dazai removes his fingers, and gently takes the shower head out of his hand to put it back on the wall.

Then Dazai shuts the water off.

The lack of sound leaves the bathroom suddenly too quiet, but the tension lingers as thick as the fog around them.

Chuuya exhales shakily, keeping his forehead still lowered, and both hands pressed to the tile, helping to keep himself upright.

Dazai’s hands find his waist and he turns him in one steady motion. 

Chuuya barely has time to process the shift before his back meets the cool tile with a soft thud, and Dazai’s hand guides his chin up into a kiss. 

The kiss is slow and controlled… but the intention is obvious. Still, the contact feels amazing as Chuuya feels more arousal buzz underneath his skin.

Dazai presses his body flush against Chuuya’s, holding him there between his chest and the wall as his tongue pushes past his lips. Chuuya moans into his mouth as he feels the way Dazai’s erection presses between his legs. He grips his hands around Dazai’s biceps.

Dazai’s still hard and Chuuya’s still blissfully horny, so instinct takes over and he rocks into him as he sucks on his tongue… relishing in the friction of his warm cock against his own erection. He’s slick from what Chuuya assumes is pre cum, as he takes advantage of what’s in front of him.

Dazai tightens his fingers at his waist, as Chuuya hears his breath huff into his mouth in time with each thrust of Chuuya’s hips. And Chuuya could cum again with how hot this is… with the remnants of his own cum mixing with Dazai’s as he pushes himself against the soft ridges of his pulsing cock.

Dazai pulls his mouth off of Chuuya’s just enough to speak.

“Bed?” Dazai asks, utterly breathless.

Chuuya’s answer comes out immediately, rough at the edges.

“…yeah.”

That’s all it takes for Dazai to lift Chuuya into his arms with ease, something he’s done many times. Chuuya doesn’t resist, he just wraps his arms around his shoulders and his legs around his waist, and lets him be carried out of the shower. 

The warmth of the shower is replaced by cooler air as they leave the bathroom and go into the conjoined bedroom, but the heated feeling in his body still sticks around.

Sex helps. That's what Dazai always says to him on days like this… and he’s absolutely right.

Chuuya is used to being in charge in his day to day life… so surrender feels… needed.

Dazai bends down to lower him down carefully onto his back on the mattress, before standing back up to his full height. Chuuya looks up at him as his hands begin to move… undoing the bandage around his neck first, and then tossing it on the floor, before moving to the ones around his arms. He watches Chuuya as he pulls them loose with his teeth. 

The motion is instinctive and unhurried… and insanely intimate as he winds them upwards, not breaking eye contact at all while he does it.

Chuuya doesn’t look away… not because it’s hot… it is… but because it’s raw and vulnerable, something Dazai doesn’t do a lot of. Except in rare moments like this. Dazai knows that Chuuya needs softness tonight, and this is Dazai being soft.

It’s a beautiful gesture really.

Dazai gives him a look that is equally intense as it is sincere, and Chuuya feels something tighten in his chest at the look alone… it’s one that Dazai only ever drops when there’s nothing left to hide behind.

Chuuya smiles softly at him when he finishes, because no words are needed.

Even with his scars, Dazai is beautiful. Each curve, sharp line, and contour on his body is hard and flexed… and each soft area is almost begging to have Chuuya pass over with his fingertips. 

He swallows, hard.

Chuuya is still half-drunk on sensation, and his body feels oversensitive from everything that just happened, yet every nerve still seems to buzz excitedly under his skin in anticipation for more.

Dazai must feel it too, because he places a palm on Chuuya’s chest to push him back down before spreading Chuuya’s legs and slotting himself between them. 

There’s no ambiguity about what he’s choosing to do now. 

Chuuya’s breath catches, and his hands twitch slightly against the sheets, but he doesn’t stop him.

Dazai pauses for a fraction of a second, checking for the smallest sign of hesitation, but there isn’t one. Chuuya just tips his head back against the mattress as anticipation flutters low in his stomach, and Dazai exhales softly through his nose, as he disappears between Chuuya’s legs. 

The first pass of his tongue is soft and warm, and—

“F-fuuuuck.” Intentional… as he begins swirling it gently around Chuuya’s shaft in small controlled circles, before licking all the way down over his dripping folds, and shoving his tongue inside of him. Then dragging it back up and doing it again. And again.

Chuuya feels and hears how wet he is, and he finds it wildly erotic when he hears Dazai moan when he dips his tongue inside him and tastes his arousal. 

It makes a moan rip from Chuuya’s own throat, as his head arches back, and a sharp, immediate ripple shudders through Chuuya’s body that makes his breath break apart in a way he can’t quite control anymore.

Dazai keeps moaning as he continues eating Chuuya out… and it just makes him wetter, and that familiar sensation begin to push against his bladder.

And if Chuuya thought he was overstimulated enough, it gets even more intense when he feels Dazai push two fingers inside him and drag them up his g spot. Chuuya’s fingers curl into the sheets as he cries out.

Above him, Dazai doesn’t stop… he goes faster. Chuuya thrusts his hips back into him and chokes out another moan… and then another, as Dazai sucks him off now. He’s building fast, but with a different kind of intensity this time.

Ohhhh no no. 

It’s too much.

But also not enough. 

He looks down and meets Dazai’s heavy gaze below him as he watches him work his cock with his lips and fuck him with just his two fingers.

Chuuya can’t. Like physically can’t hold it together. His hands fly down to twist hard into Dazai’s hair as he feels himself clamp his thighs down around him and cum. 

His back arches off the mattress as he flicks his hips against Dazai’s face and rides out another orgasm, and it’s not until he finally begins to come down that Dazai pauses for a moment above him.

Chuuya, still trying to steady his breathing, can feel exactly what he’s thinking before anything is even said.

But he says it anyway.

“You’re holding back.”

Chuuya’s breath catches, as his hands tighten slightly against the sheets again.

Dazai exhales once through his nose, slowly.

“I can tell,” he adds, softer. “You’ve been holding it the whole time.”

He rubs circles into Chuuya’s inner thighs with his thumbs, and it feels comforting. “You don’t have to.”

Chuuya feels his face flush, and his chest tighten up at the fact that Dazai’s having to give him permission to let go. He knows it’ll help, he can feel the urge to just release all this pent up… tension from the day.

It’s just… a little more complicated than that, and his head is being difficult.

“Come on… it’ll feel good.” He murmurs before shifting again between his legs, and he doesn’t even give Chuuya a moment before he settles straight back into a steady rhythm that makes him choke out a cry and arch his back again. 

The warmth of Dazai’s tongue, the attention to his cock, the relentless precision of his fingers curling up into him… all of it builds him back up in an almost overwhelming way that makes it impossible to focus on anything except pure fucking sensation.

Then his free hand presses down into his stomach, and it makes Chuuya’s breath break into a loud gasp.

Then he cries out.

Then another gasp for an inhale, and a moan.

His fingers twist in the sheets trying to anchor himself to something solid, but it’s no use… it’s already too late for that. The way Dazai moves inside of him, keeps pulling him further out of himself, pulling his tension loose in slow, deliberate waves until there’s nothing left to hold onto.

Until all that’s left for him to do is let it happen.

“Dazai— “ He cries out in warning.

But to be honest, he couldn’t even stop it if he wanted to at this point because he fucking feels it building.

Dazai doesn’t respond verbally, he just hums against Chuuya as he continues relentlessly taking him way past his breaking point. His hum creates more vibrations throughout his body. It feels sooo good, but it doesn’t fucking help.

With another cry, Chuuya’s body arches without permission, as everything gives way all at once. He feels a rush of warmth between his legs, and he feels like he could pass out as his orgasm tears through him. He’s not sure if it’s a long one, or two or three that just tumble into each other, but he just lets it happen. Lets the warmth pour out of him, and it’s dizzyingly intense.

It feels like it lasts forever.

He keeps his eyes closed as he finally feels himself come down, and then he registers Dazai tracing circles into his thigh again.

Chuuya feels heavy… like he’s fading… and all he’s aware of is just overwhelming warmth, more lingering pressure, and the closeness of Dazai below him. 

There’s warmth underneath him that he tries not to focus on, but there’s also a different kind of warmth that still lingers under his skin even after the moment itself passes

It’s frustrating.

Dazai stays where he is as his voice cuts through the post orgasm haze.

“That feels better, doesn’t it?”

Chuuya barely manages a breath in response.

Then Dazai sits up and Chuuya finally opens his eyes to look up at him. Liquid glistens as it trails down his throat, before he wipes it away with a towel and then presses it against his face for a moment, wiping away more cum.

There’s a lot.

Chuuya’s face heats up again, but he’d be lying if he didn’t find the sight absolutely erotic.

Dazai softly runs the towel between Chuuya’s thighs next, and the gesture feels grounding.

Chuuya exhales shakily into it.

Then Dazai tosses the towel onto the floor and reaches for something else out of view.

Chuuya’s gaze tracks him through the haze of still heightened sensation and still clouded thoughts, but Dazai doesn’t rush the moment… or him. 

He also still doesn’t speak.

He just produces something shiny in his hand, and shows it to Chuuya.

It’s a wordless question.

Chuuya swallows, and nods before taking the curved blown glass rod from him. It’s a pretty one… heavy, and lined with round protrusions for texture. 

Dazai’s expression doesn’t change, but something in his gaze sharpens as he exhales softly through his nose and sits up on his knees.

“Now that you’re doing that… this is gonna feel way better.”

Then he moves, placing his hands at Chuuya’s waist first, and guiding him up. Chuuya’s breath catches as he’s adjusted into a different position, on his hands and knees… more open and more exposed, as the mattress dips beneath him as Dazai settles back into place behind him.

More anticipation curls in his gut as his hands fist into the sheets below him on instinct. His body still feels oversensitive from everything, and every touch from Dazai feels like it lands deeper than it should.

“Relax.” Dazai’s voice sounds reassuring behind him, as he massages his lower back.

Then Dazai brushes his lock over his shoulder, and kisses the now exposed area between his shoulder blades.

Chuuya shivers before dropping his head and letting out a slow, uneven breath through his nose. Luckily his body is already doing most of the work for him at this point, responding before his thoughts can catch up, as the leftover tension starts to give way in small increments.

Dazai’s hand settles at his hip again, and Chuuya’s eyes slip closed as he inserts the glass rod into himself with a deep sigh. It feels so good. He starts slow as he begins working it in and out of himself, taking his time to feel every round bump drag deliciously against his walls and underneath his hardened cock.

And then Chuuya slowly starts to feel himself get lost in it again, because every thrust feels overwhelming in the best way. He moans and dips his head down, and then Dazai leans in slightly closer behind him, pressing in just enough that Chuuya can feel him there in every breath he takes, and every twitch of his cock at his entrance.

And when he pushes into him slowly from behind, fuuuuuuuck does it feel good being filled up with Dazai. His walls wrapped tightly around his cock. The heat and pressure that comes from each slow slide into him and out of him.

Dazai groans as his fingers press hard into Chuuya’s hips, and he slowly begins rocking into him. Chuuya fucks himself with the glass dildo, as Dazai fucks him from behind, and the overwhelming fullness presses on that spot against his bladder again.

Chuuya feels his brain go hazy once more as everything centers to just heat, and closeness, and broken sounds between them, and the wetness trickling down his thighs, and the steady, deliberate pace of Dazai’s thrusts.

Chuuya’s breath stutters as he’s fucked by Dazai’s cock, and as he fucks himself with the heavy glass toy. And soon enough, more heat starts rising sharply through him as all of the combined sensations become more and more intense in a way that blurs everything together. 

Chuuya feels himself getting close, and he assumes Dazai picks up on this when his thrusts become harder, more impatient and needy. Dazai must be close too, with the way he’s been hard almost all night.

Chuuya moans as he fucks himself harder and harder, feeling the build up bubble in his gut. “H—ha— “ The words come out in a mess of sound, but it’s enough as he cries out again when Dazai slams into him.

“Harder? Harder?…” Dazai huffs out with a laugh, and Chuuya knows he’s grinning… thoroughly fucking enjoying this.

Chuuya just whines again, as Dazai continues. He’s close. He’s soooo fucking close.

“Dazaiii— “ he groans.

And then Dazai’s hand reaches around to wrap around Chuuya’s and grinds the toy hard against his g spot. 

And that fucking does it. 

Chuuya snaps.

He cums hard… so hard that he feels another rush of warmth underneath him. So hard that when he hears Dazai moan and still inside him, as he feels his cock throb with his own orgasm, he cums again.

He feels the tension from the day leave his body all at once. Actually. Chuuya practically feels his whole entire soul leave his body as he collapses against the mattress with Dazai helping him down comfortably.

Dazai lies down next to Chuuya, and for what feels like a long time, neither of them move as the space around them settles into silence, aside from the sounds of their uneven breaths gradually finding the same rhythm.

Chuuya lets his eyes drift shut as the pleasant heaviness settles into his limbs. 

The frantic static that had followed him home from work is simply… gone.

As though Dazai had reached into his chest and turned the volume down.

A quiet laugh of relief escapes him.

“What?” Dazai murmurs against his neck, his voice already rough with exhaustion.

“…Nothing.”

Chuuya feels… light.

Dazai’s arm settles loosely around his stomach, and Chuuya finds himself leaning into Dazai without thinking. Neither of them make any effort to move despite the cool air of the bedroom and the fading heat between them from earlier. 

“You feel better,” Dazai hums.

It’s not a question.

Chuuya opens one eye just enough to glance at him.

“…Yeah.”

Comfortable silence settles in between them again at that.

Chuuya sighs as fatigue begins sinking into his bones. Tomorrow, Dazai will undoubtedly be insufferable again.

He’ll steal Chuuya’s coffee, call him short… find some new, creative way to test his patience before it even hits noon.

And Chuuya will yell at him like he always does.

Neither of them will mention tonight though… they never do.

They don’t need to.

Some things between them live more honestly in quiet gestures than they ever could in words.

Chuuya laces his fingers together with Dazai’s, almost absentmindedly, and Dazai squeezes his fingers in return.

It’s enough that it says everything without him even needing to say anything at all.

The knots in Chuuya’s chest that had him wound impossibly tight only a couple hours ago, have finally all unraveled.

He lets out one last slow breath.

“I love you,” he murmurs, the words already half lost to the sleep threatening to take him.

He doesn’t have to wait for an answer, because the gentle kiss pressed into his hair is answer enough.