Chapter Text
1
Sokka’s fascination with fire creeps up on him slowly and sneakily.
Spending as much time as he does undercover in the Fire Nation definitely works to unknowingly ebb his hatred towards the element (and the people associated with it). But the first time he sees fire and genuinely feels a sort of awe rather than any kind of contempt doesn’t come until he’s watching Aang learn firebending, closer to when the comet is set to arrive.
Zuko is teaching him some form or another; Sokka hadn’t bothered enough to listen to what they were actually saying. He is just here to watch Zuko occasionally lose his patience and hopefully singe himself a little in the middle of a meltdown.
Sokka gets kind of bored at the tedious process of Zuko teaching Aang how to hold a form correctly though, so he starts doodling in the sand with a twig. He regrets that later, because when he glances up again after a few minutes Zuko is leaping into the air with his leg rotating in a high arc. Flames trail off of his foot like he is drawing them right in the air with his toes.
Two months previous, it’d be the kind of move that would have had Katara pull the entire ocean up right then to smother Zuko, which would be a shame. It is a very pretty outcome, especially as the flames spark out into embers that dance in the air for just long enough to be appreciated. They flicker around Zuko in a way that makes Sokka feel just a bit jealous that he can’t firebend. If he could do moves like that, he’d have no problem scoring dates.
Sokka doesn’t bother trying to hide his staring, and when Zuko shoots him a look he just shrugs. “That looked really cool.”
Aang stands from his spot in the sand. “My turn!” And although Aang can’t pull the move off as well as Zuko did, Sokka still finds himself watching more closely than he had before. He can’t really bring himself to stop watching from that point forward.
2
In the one month since he’d been reinstated as Crown Prince, Sokka doesn’t think Zuko’s had any downtime whatsoever.
For about a week Sokka has been in the palace as an ambassador of sorts, working closely with other advisors and occasionally Iroh himself, but he rarely catches a glimpse of Zuko, which is kind of depressing. He’s only supposed to be in the Fire Nation for another two weeks before he makes the trip back home with hopefully some more solid trade deals and general tokens of good-will between the two peoples to present to his tribe.
It means a lot to Sokka and the South that Iroh and Zuko have been so generous in their support of the tribe, especially now that they’re trying to rebuild. Still, all work and no Zuko is starting to make Sokka a bit grumpy.
Nothing against Iroh, but all of these old Fire Nation dudes are really starting to get to him.
Luckily, tonight it ends up being easier than he thought it would be to seek out the angsty prince. Sokka manages to catch him long after most of the palace has gone to sleep, leaving his room with his blades in hand. If Sokka hadn’t seen them or the glint of the hairpiece, he might have guessed that it’s a servant leaving Zuko’s room. When was the last time Sokka had seen Zuko dressed in anything but his full princely regalia?
Had to have been the day of the comet.
“Sneaking off on a secret mission?”
Zuko spins around with much less grace than he should when holding two very sharp blades. Sokka has to jump away to avoid being too close to the pointed end of one.
“Woah, watch the goods!”
“Sokka?” Zuko sounds annoyed, and Sokka is sure he looks even more annoyed, though it’s hard to make out his facial features in the darkened hallway. “What are you doing?”
“That’s obvious. I’m wondering what you’re doing.”
Zuko shakes his head with a huff and begins walking down the hall.
“Don’t you have a meeting in the morning?”
Sokka follows Zuko, skipping a bit to keep up. “Yeah, but I wanted to see if you were up. Haven’t talked in a while you know? Figured we’d catch up.” Zuko takes a hard right and seems to speed up a bit more. Sokka wonders if Zuko’s trying to outpace him. “Don’t you have to be at that too?”
Zuko’s face is briefly illuminated as they pass a window. He’s looking straight ahead, but his face is anything but confident. His cheeks are red, lips pursed, and eyes squinted. If that anger wasn’t concerning him, Sokka might laugh at the sight of it.
“No offense, but I don’t really feel like catching up right now, Sokka.”
“Okay, but you definitely look like you could use some company, so you’ll have to deal with me anyways.”
Zuko doesn’t say anything and continues walking. Sokka follows him straight to a back courtyard, which Sokka didn’t know existed until this very moment. Unlike the courtyard near Zuko’s room with the garden and pond, this one is clearly used to having fire hurled at it. Scorch marks line the hard-packed dirt, some half-scrubbed away, but most of them seem so fresh Sokka swears that if he leaned down to touch one it would be as warm as a pulse.
“So, this is where you’ve been every time I try to catch you on a break?”
“Fire Lords don’t get breaks.”
“You’re not Fire Lord yet, and Iroh takes plenty of breaks.”
Zuko doesn’t answer, just places his blades on the ground and begins to stretch.
Sokka decides not to push it and just enjoy the company he gets. He sits on the ground, not particularly wanting to join in on whatever Zuko’s planning on doing, but definitely wanting to annoy Zuko. Zuko may seem prickly, but Sokka knows that the company must be somewhat welcome if he hasn’t been explicitly kicked out yet.
Zuko is clearly not trying to practice with his blades in order to actually improve or refine any skills – he’s just trying to let out some aggression. Sokka won’t get in the way, because he more than anyone understands needing to punch out your emotions, but he will stand by and provide the much-needed support as necessary, whichever form that may take.
Zuko doesn’t even look Sokka’s way as he goes through the motions of his stretches, or as he starts working through forms with his blades. Sokka notices the way his arms shake, though, and how his face doesn’t seem to unpinch itself as he goes. Something must have really bothered him today.
Zuko goes to so many meetings it’s hard to keep track of, especially when Sokka hasn’t gotten a chance to casually chat with the guy in a while. Maybe one of those went wrong today?
If memory serves, Zuko has been getting into it recently with a cranky old advisor whom Sokka can’t remember the name of, but he can clearly picture a wrinkled face with grubby hands constantly wringing themselves like they belong to a picture book villain. That guy must be older than Aang. Maybe he started something with Zuko during a meeting today?
Sokka gets an idea and stands again. Zuko doesn’t spare him a glance as he leaves, but when he reenters the courtyard a few moments later, Zuko stops what he’s doing to stare openly at Sokka with an undecipherable expression. Now with Zuko’s full attention, Sokka holds up the sack.
“Target practice?”
Sokka pulls out a beetato from the sack he’d stolen from the kitchen. It has the uncanny resemblance of a grumpy old man hastily sketched into it with the charcoal pencil that Sokka had found while on his heist. Zuko makes direct eye contact with the red vegetable and says nothing.
“What, too good to be mean to beetatoes? He looks too innocent, huh? I knew my art skills were just too good to be used to capture evil,” Sokka says, then holds the root vegetable up high and clears his throat to continue in an old and strained voice. “’These policies are an endangerment to our very beliefs and–’”
Zuko, predictably, kicks the old-man-tato out of Sokka’s grasp. Sokka, seeing it coming, drops it just before his hand can be made a casualty of veggie-war.
“That’s not good enough!” Sokka yells, pulling another old man from the bag. “They’re five hundred years old, they don’t even really care about what’s going to happen after they die, and you’re just going to let them get away with making all these decisions?”
Sokka tosses this one up in the air, where it is summarily sliced into three by Zuko’s blades.
Zuko sighs. “I feel like this isn’t the best way to go about this.” But his shoulders have dropped, his hands aren’t shaking where they clench at his blades, and he’s fighting a smile. Sokka feels like he’s won this little battle already.
“I think you should be more worried about the food waste,” Sokka answers lightly, throwing the next beetato straight at Zuko. It never stood a chance. “You can’t exactly fight the old guys you have to deal with every day, so this is the next best thing.”
Zuko can’t argue with that, or maybe he doesn’t want to, because he doesn’t. He does, however, turn his back to Sokka and ready his blades in a much less tense-looking stance.
They spend some time in the courtyard together like this: Sokka sitting lazily on the ground and throwing beetatoes past Zuko’s shoulder, over his head, past his knees, and Zuko reacting lightning-quick and cutting each one down. Sokka only accidentally hits Zuko in the back of the head once, which causes a tiny argument.
“You did that on purpose!”
“If you didn’t want your big head to get hit maybe you should just face forward?”
“I can’t train reflexes if I see where you’re going to throw it!”
As if that’s why he’s doing this. Sokka laughs loudly at that, causing Zuko to put down his swords and face Sokka head on. He’s relaxed, but his face still looks upset.
“Throw it high,” Zuko says.
Sokka does, and Zuko punches into the air, sending a yellow blast of flames right at the poor innocent vegetable. It doesn’t catch fire, since it’s a dense and watery root vegetable, but it’s decently scorched and lands to the ground with a thud.
“Another,” Zuko says, and Sokka obliges without a word. Strangely, Sokka’s tongue seems to have gotten heavy, and his throat seems drier than it had been. He watches the fire shoot out from Zuko’s fist again, gone as quickly as it came, like a valve getting shut on and off.
“Is it hot?” Sokka asks, throwing up another, his eyes never leaving Zuko’s hands. The fire appears rapidly and Sokka sees that small distance between the flame and the skin, and though he knows that fire doesn’t come out of their hands, he still thinks that’s much closer than he would be able to get to an open fire without burns.
“What?” Zuko drops his stance, confused.
Sokka makes a gesture like he’s firebending, punching a fist out in what is a pretty good imitation of Zuko’s movements, in his opinion. “Is it hot, you know, when you firebend?”
Zuko looks perplexed at Sokka first, then at his hands, then at Sokka again. “No?”
“It’s not hot at all, like you don’t feel the heat of it?” Zuko doesn’t look like he wants to have this conversation, or any conversation, right now, but Sokka just cannot help his curiosity. Water, earth, and airbending all seem so easy to understand, but fire literally appears out of nowhere from a bender’s hands, and it doesn’t even hurt? As a kid he always thought of firebending as unnatural and evil, only made to hurt, but now that those prejudices are leaving him bit by bit, he finds himself utterly fascinated with knowing how it works and why it’s so unlike the other elements.
It doesn’t seem fully unnatural, just different – even interesting. And Sokka’s always been the type of person who wants to know everything about the things that interest him.
Sokka tosses another beetato high into the air. It lands charred on the ground between them.
The fire had lit up a weird expression on Zuko’s face before it extinguished; he was still looking right at Sokka, and hadn’t even looked at the vegetable when he cooked it, which Sokka thought was very cool. He’d never say that out loud, though.
Sokka primes another to throw, but Zuko sits down on the hard dirt in front of him before he can. Sokka can just make out the frown on his face in the darkness.
“We have to do something about the colonies,” Zuko says, slowly and quietly, like he’s speaking more to himself, “but the advisors have started rallying the Fire Nation citizens against it. I don’t know how to take control of it anymore.”
“Oh,” Sokka says, feeling a bit surprised that Zuko is confiding in him about the stresses of leading your own nation. “Well, that’s not great. What does Iroh say about it?”
Zuko sighs in an explosive manner, hunching over in a way that is very unbefitting of a future Fire Lord. His hair comes out of its loose updo, obscuring his face further as the pin that is supposed to hold it up falls to the dirt.
“He says that we should just continue the decolonization plan as is, and they’ll calm down about it over time.”
“…And you don’t like that plan.”
Zuko shakes his head forlornly. Sokka has seen his fair share of mopey Zuko moments, but this one must take the cake. It definitely works wonders to remind Sokka that they’re both just kids still, burdened with so much.
“Why?”
Zuko seems at a loss for a second. He busies himself with fixing his hair back up, and Sokka thinks that maybe he won’t answer, maybe he doesn’t even have an answer, but then Zuko proves that there’s still a lot Sokka has left to learn about the fire that burns within him.
“It’s not enough,” Zuko says, and his words are as hot and resolute as if he’d spat flames. Sokka can easily imagine the roaring fire burning beneath his skin, waiting for each chance to be let free. Zuko has made up his mind about this, and feels strongly that he is right.
“What is enough?” Sokka asks.
Zuko picks up his head to look at Sokka again for a long moment, but doesn’t answer. Instead, he holds out a hand between them, cupped slightly, and shows Sokka a delicate flame.
“It’s warm,” Zuko says, after a moment of the both of them staring openly at the small fire. Although small, it lights up Zuko’s face brilliantly. “But it’s not hot.”
The flame hovers just a breath above Zuko’s palm, fueled by whatever energy Zuko pumps into it to keep it alive, and Sokka is still amazed that it doesn’t burn. He must wear that amazement on his face, because Zuko clears his throat to elaborate.
“It used to be hot. Before. Sometimes it would be so hot I was scared of getting burns. Even when I used the coolest flames, it was unbearable.” Zuko’s voice sounds sacred, the way he is whispering. Sokka leans forward, entranced, his eyes never leaving the flickering flame. “After the dragons, after I realized that my uncle was right about firebending, all of a sudden, it was never hot again. Not even during the comet.”
As Sokka watches, the small flame loses the comfort of a flickering candle, its shape changing to a more solid and intense tear-drop shape and the color lightening to a bright, almost-white color. The heat ripples the air around them, warming Sokka to the core, but Zuko doesn’t even flinch. The flame returns to its original small orange flicker, then it dies out in Zuko’s palm.
Sokka is so completely enraptured by the sight and the words that it takes him a second to notice when Zuko touches the inside of his forearm, palm pressed to wrist.
“See?” Zuko says. “Not hot.”
Zuko’s hand is deeply warm against the pulse at his wrist, but not uncomfortably so, and Sokka knows that he won’t be able to stop thinking about this for days. Maybe weeks.
Later, he lights a candle in his room. Though it’s much smaller than Zuko’s fire, he hovers his palm near the flame and tries to find the comfortable distance of warm that reminds him of Zuko’s hand on his wrist. Unfortunately, he’s unable to, and wastes the rest of the night trying.
3
Not long after Sokka returns to the South, Aang and Katara visit with news on their friends. Sokka and his father welcome them home with food, and they talk and eat in a circle around the fire for extra warmth.
Suki is busy training new recruits on Kiyoshi Island, and she sent a care package for him stamped with her lipstick kiss. Inside is a new bag Katara helped her pick out, as well as some clothes he can wear the next time he’s out of the South Pole.
Toph is traveling on her own for a bit, and entertaining the idea of taking on more pupils now that Aang is fully trained.
Zuko is getting ready to embark on a journey to the Fire Nation Colonies, which doesn’t surprise Sokka as much as it seems to have surprised Aang and Katara. He’d seen how frustrated and powerless Zuko had seemed when faced with the opposition of those who aren’t as open to the new policies he’s trying to work towards. If he were in Zuko’s shoes, he’d probably also have the same mentality, thinking that he could do more good if he were just there to show everyone.
That doesn’t help him feel any less worried, though. If there’s one thing that Sokka learned from his month in the Fire Nation, it’s that Zuko does the worst when he’s alone in his own head with the things that stress him out. And if he’s traveling with those nitwit advisors, and Iroh’s back at the palace still running the show, he could be in a bit of emotional trouble.
Aang and Katara keep chattering excitedly, but Sokka has accidentally tuned them out for the rest of the conversation. He stares deep into the flames of their fire, drafting the letter he wants to send to Zuko in his head, and feeling a warmth deep in the carpals of his wrist.
4
Traveling the Earth Kingdom with Zuko should feel more adventurous, but the past several months have mainly been simple caravan or sea transport surrounded by advisors and servants and a handler, and it’s completely insufferable for most of the time they are on the road.
The best parts are when they stop in a colony or another town or city, and Sokka gets the chance to explore. Sometimes with Zuko, but more often than not that requires running away from Qiu, Zuko’s handler, who takes his job extremely seriously.
So seriously, in fact, that by the time they are making a rest stop just before arriving in Ba Sing Se, Qiu corners Sokka before he can even finish climbing off of his ostrich horse.
“Don’t even think about it!”
“What is there to think about, Qiu?” Sokka says placatingly, dismounting and moving to give his ostrich horse her treat from the satchel tied around her neck. “This is just a pit stop for the horses; there’s not even anything around!” Which is true. The ostrich horses need a few hours to eat and rest before the last stretch to the city. They are literally in the middle of the desert, nothing but dirt and rocky formations and sad, little shrubs around.
“I don’t doubt your ability to figure something out. My schedule is airtight up until we have our audience with Earth King Kuei, and I don’t need the Prince escaping on another of your little escapades today!”
Sokka should sympathize for the guy more than he does, having been on the same end of similar conversations before, but what can they really expect? The Earth Kingdom is just so large, and the traveling days really take a toll. The Crown Prince of the Fire Nation is just human, after all, and who’s really going to blame Sokka for making this whole important political quest a bit more bearable?
Qiu is probably thinking the same thing, because his expression softens a bit. “If we can make it to Ba Sing Se on time I could be persuaded to allotting for a day off in the city. But we need to leave when I say! And the Prince needs to remain in my line of sight!”
Sokka brightens, already moving quickly away from Qiu as he calls over his shoulder. “You got it Qiu!” Zuko’s just getting out of his guarded cart, squinting at the sun and wearing a perfectly casual outfit. Sokka grabs him by the wrist and pulls him along, away from the escorts and the guards.
Because Qiu is so untrusting, he shouts after them “I just said–”
“In line of sight, promise!” Sokka yells out, and though Zuko doesn’t know anything, he laughs and hurries after Sokka.
Sokka keeps his promise and only walks them a bit away, just far enough to feel like they have more privacy. The direction they walk in also takes them to the edge of a shallow ditch, in which there are more rocks and sand and shrubs. They sit down there, legs dangling off the rocky edge, and Sokka even double checks to make sure he can still see Qiu’s worrying form fluttering back by the ostrich horses.
When Sokka tells Zuko about their potential day off in the city, Zuko seems skeptical. “How did you manage to convince Qiu of that?”
Sokka puts his hands up in defense, but the grin on his face is probably not helping his case. “I didn’t do anything! My Water Tribe charm just always pulls through for me like that. As long as we get to the Earth King on time, Qiu basically granted us a day of freedom.”
“’Freedom’ seems like a bit of a stretch,” Zuko says, but Sokka ignores the comment.
“I wonder what it’s like in Ba Sing Se now? Last time I was there we had our own Qiu, but worse. I’m pretty sure she watched us while we slept. So, we weren’t allowed to do much.”
“Are you saying you don’t think Qiu watches us in our sleep?”
Zuko glances back at the caravan, where Qiu is squinting at them from a distance, hands on his hips and looking like he’s on the verge of yelling at them. Sokka can’t help the loud laugh that bursts out of him at the look on Zuko’s face when he’s caught Qiu looking at them, like he’s just stuck a grapefruit-lemon in his mouth. This leads them both into a fit that has them clenching their stomachs and doubling over.
Ba Sing Se is supposed to be the biggest and most important stop on this trip, taking place halfway through it. Qiu had managed to rearrange the trip to add in the meeting just before Zuko had first embarked for the Earth Kingdom, which apparently caused a ruckus. Sokka hadn’t yet joined the adventure, but Zuko explained about a month into their traveling that he had originally only wanted to stop in the colonies, with exceptions for towns and cities that are directly impacted by the presence of the colonies. He did not want this to be a huge political venture.
Once Qiu had scheduled for a stop in Ba Sing Se to see Earth King Kuei, news had traveled fast that the future Fire Lord was going to be making some rounds about the Earth Kingdom. Because of that, everyone had agreed that backing out and not meeting with the Earth King while it was publicly known that Zuko was in his kingdom was not a good move.
So Zuko’s complaints had been shut down, even by Iroh.
“I just wanted to be there, to talk to them and help everyone get on the same page about the deconstruction of the colonies, but now…” Zuko had looked so frustrated when he had finally opened up to Sokka about why he only really seemed crabby when Qiu kept mentioning the Ba Sing Se stop. They had just finished eating, and though the rest of the caravan was sitting by the fire, the two of them had moved a bit away from the crowd to talk. Sokka still remembers the way the flames made Zuko’s eyes look like they were glowing, even from a distance.
“It feels like political pandering?” Sokka had finished for him.
“Yes!” Zuko yelled out, and everyone pretended not to notice how the flames from so far away reached just a bit higher with the shout, got just a bit hotter. “He’s throwing a party, Sokka.”
“Think of it as more of a chance to touch base with him. You can talk about the Restoration together, and share what you’ve learned so far from your work in the colonies.” Sokka grinned at Zuko, who stared back with wide eyes. “Plus, those tiny foods they serve at Earth Kingdom parties are pretty worth it to me.”
Zuko had seemed to feel better about the Ba Sing Se stop after that, and no longer got all broody when Qiu mentioned it, which Sokka takes complete credit for. And now, sitting in the dirt and laughing months later, Sokka thinks Zuko might even be feeling good about it. It says a lot that he’s not still choosing to be cooped up in his carriage cart the whole way there, at least.
“Some of the best food we had while traveling was in Ba Sing Se,” Zuko says, once they’ve both caught their breaths from the laughing. “I think I could find the restaurants and stands, if they’re still there.”
Sokka clutches his stomach, groaning as if he’s starved. “Don’t talk to me about good food unless it’s promised, my stomach will never forgive you!” Dialing up the drama is always a fifty-fifty shot when it comes to Zuko; half of the time he’ll act overly annoyed and exasperated which makes Sokka laugh, and half of the time he’ll laugh and smile so wide that Sokka feels the pride of it for days. This means that a hundred percent of the time Sokka turns out the winner.
Zuko chooses the overly exasperated route, but his demeanor cracks a bit in a smile. “You’ve been doing nothing but eating this whole trip! You end every day recapping a list of your favorite foods of the day, which always has at least five things on it.”
Sokka laughs; with Zuko he can’t help it anymore. “Good food I’ve had in the past just makes my stomach hungry for bigger and better. If you bring up good Ba Sing Se food, you better be ready to deliver.”
Zuko turns away from him with an eye roll. “I wouldn’t bring it up if I wasn’t planning on taking you out to try it, would I?”
“Alright hotman, it’s a date. I just hope your princely wallet can hold up to my appetite and those city prices…”
Sokka lets his words die out, because Zuko isn’t listening anymore. He’s fixated on something that caught his eye in the ditch. Something that, now that Sokka’s looking, he sees fluttering against the branches of a shrubby tree. Bright red fabric against dulled greenery.
Zuko’s jumping down before Sokka can even think to suggest that it might be a bad idea, and Sokka’s following him before he can convince himself otherwise.
The red fabric is exactly what Sokka figured it was, though he had hoped otherwise. An old, dirty Fire Nation banner, ripped and tangled in the remains of a dying tree. Zuko doesn’t hesitate to begin pulling at it, ripping it further and shaking dust up around them.
“Zuko?”
Zuko doesn’t say anything, or even acknowledge that he heard Sokka. He works to pull the banner free, and it’s as Sokka gets closer that he begins to see the small amount of smoke rising from Zuko’s hands.
As Zuko tugs and stretches at the fabric, his fingers are scorching holes into the banner. Zuko doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn’t seem to care even as his hands tear new holes into the symbol of his nation.
Zuko’s face looks like it could be blank, almost calm or even a bit annoyed, but Sokka knows better. Zuko’s not great at masking his anger or frustration, but he’s developed a talent at some point in his youth for hiding when he’s scared. Sokka’s been right beside Zuko through plenty of terrifying ordeals, and right now the face that Zuko is making reminds Sokka of when they found each other again after the comet, when Zuko was fighting for his life.
Zuko continues to work on freeing the snagged banner from the dead branches, and the fabric starts to catch fire near his hands.
Sokka doesn’t really think about how reaching in between a firebender and some fire is probably not the best idea, though usually he prides himself on his ability to think through his next move before it plays out. This is an exception.
Sokka grabs onto Zuko’s wrists as strongly as he dares and pulls his arms away from the banner. His arms pass through the small flames, but he moves quickly enough to avoid any burns, and Zuko flinches back from the fire quickly. He grips onto Sokka’s arms, steps swiftly away from the banner, and Sokka uses the opportunity to move them farther from the burning fabric. The fire is catching quickly now, and soon the dying tree will be engulfed as well.
They are holding tightly onto each other’s arms now, Zuko’s fear now plain on his face as he stares wide-eyed at Sokka.
“You okay, buddy?” Sokka keeps his voice low and steady, though he’s a bit freaked out as well. Zuko setting fire to a vestige of the Fire Nation’s military, while an understandable action outside of context, is not a smart thing to do when they are trying to appease Zuko’s handler to get a day off. Zuko also going completely unresponsive while engaging in said action, to the point where he almost caught fire to his own clothes, is also not great.
Zuko drops his gaze to Sokka’s arms. Sokka vaguely registers Qiu having a meltdown from the cliffside where they’d been sitting, but it seems that if Zuko hears it, he is ignoring it.
“Are you okay?” Zuko’s hands loosen their grip, and then he’s turning Sokka’s arms this way and that to make sure there are no burns. His fingers ghost over a healed burn mark on Sokka’s wrist that he got when cooking months ago.
Sokka lets Zuko conduct his inspection with a grin. “I’m fine! Never better.”
Zuko looks unconvinced, and still dazed. “But I…”
“I’m okay.” Sokka grips Zuko by the arms now, holding him steady just as much as trying to snap him back to himself. “You’d never let your fire hurt me. I know that.”
This brings Zuko to himself. He nods, and Sokka pretends not to notice the tears welling in his eyes. They both turn back to the small fire, which has claimed the dying tree. Luckily there’s no wind, and no other plants nearby enough for this to be a problem. Still–
“We should probably find a way to extinguish that. And then extinguish Qiu’s rage. Come on, I think I have a plan for both.”
5
Even though Qiu was unbelievably outraged at their blatant disrespect of his agreed-upon boundaries, Sokka works his magic on him well enough that, after a successful meeting with the Earth King, they are granted permission to explore the city the next morning. Guarded, of course, and though Sokka understands and agrees with the presence of the guards, he can’t imagine anyone being stupid enough to try their hand against literal war hero and firebending master Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.
At least the two guards give them their space, following behind from afar while they bounce between different street vendors and market stalls. Zuko explains that the really good food is found mostly in the lower ring, which they are specifically not allowed to travel to, so they’ve decided to settle on trying at least one thing from every stall that looks good, and Sokka doesn’t hold back on his critiques of each food item.
This mostly embarrasses Zuko horribly, so Sokka continues like it’s a mission, until one particularly promising cart that’s selling nothing but meaty dumplings. Sokka orders a whole plate to share with Zuko, and when he pops the first one into his mouth, he spits it right back out.
“It’s cold!” Sokka whines, deflating. The lady who served him his dumplings straight from the steaming basket frowns at him with a wag of her finger.
“Don’t give me that! I just made that batch!”
Sokka holds up a dumpling for her and splits it open with his fingers. “See? Cold!”
Her face goes from frowning to sour, and Sokka is ready to go down for these cold dumplings that Zuko bought him, because the only reliable thing about street food is that it’s supposed to be hot and fresh and he won’t settle for less than that very low standard. He’s just about to say so, in fact, when Zuko leans over to the lady’s stove and breathes on the coals.
Look, Sokka’s seen Zuko breathe fire before. At least a few times, he thinks. But it’s different this time, somehow, and Sokka doesn’t know why.
Zuko’s face is calm, with even a hint of an exasperated smile, as he breathes the dying coals in the stove back to life. It’s not even fire, fully, it’s ignition.
Sokka’s chest feels too tight around his lungs when he takes in his next breath.
“There,” Zuko says easily, like he only helped a street vendor relight her stove and not set Sokka on fire completely. “The coals were just too cold. Can we please have our dumplings steamed again?”
The lady goes from sour to delighted, offering a free extra batch for the helpful young man and gushing about his politeness while Sokka stares at the coals, trying to find his heartbeat within them.
6
Sokka’s been to each Fire Nation colony with Zuko since he joined them near the beginning of the journey almost a year ago now, so he really did feel that this was coming.
Yu Dao was supposed to be one of the last colonies they visited, and tensions were already high by the time they arrived. Zuko had been meeting with both colony leaders and citizens, really as many as he could get to gather at each stop, and they all had been leading them to the same conclusion that they’re slapped with at Yu Dao; the Harmony Restoration Movement is flawed.
Yu Dao is one of the oldest and most successful Fire Nation colonies, and once they arrive, they know immediately that the people here are not going to take deportation well. The town is well established as one of the most successful metalworking cities in the world, and they achieved this by blending their firebending and earthbending citizens’ collaboration.
Sokka watches Zuko as they walk around the town, guided by the mayor and speaking to the people, and Zuko seems to come alive with it. His eyes shine with open awe as they watch the townsfolk, hear their stories, ask their questions, and by the end, when Zuko looks at Sokka and tells him that they can’t possibly carry out the Harmony Restoration Movement, not when this is what we’ve always dreamed of, Sokka barely has the breath to agree. Because who can walk around this town, meet these people born from a less-than-ideal situation who are creating family and love from it, and think that it’s right to destroy that?
It's a fight, and a scary one. It’s not an easy decision, especially when Aang and Kuei get involved, but Zuko won’t be swayed. Sokka stands by his side.
In the end Yu Dao gets to remain, and to celebrate, the town is throwing a large festival for Aang and Zuko.
It’s nice to see Aang and Katara again, but they go off on their own pretty much as soon as the festivities start, which works just as well for Sokka, since they’d been all gross together as soon as the fighting ended.
It’s also the end of his adventure across the Earth Kingdom with Zuko, so he feels like he’s allowed to want to horde this for himself. It feels like a reward for a job well done.
Zuko is still in his whole Prince get-up, and he did just save the town, so they are stopped frequently by people wanting to offer their thanks. Sokka doesn’t complain because the thanks more often than not come in the form of fried food which is much better than anything they had in Ba Sing Se. Zuko is too humble to accept much thanks, but Sokka does take all the offered food with a grin and a promise to make Zuko eat half.
Sokka knows that he and Zuko are not in the same boat; Zuko is working hard to fix the world before he inherits a nation that has a lot to answer for, while Sokka is working to rebuild his tribe and reconnect it to the world. But it does feel like they are on the same river, flowing in the same direction, and if they can sometimes hitch their boats together during the rough patches, wouldn’t that make things so much easier? Zuko’s already done a lot to help with the restoration of the Southern Water Tribe, and now Sokka can say he was here to help Zuko with the handling of the Fire Colonies in the Earth Kingdom. Though the work on both is far from over, Sokka fells like they’re much more manageable.
Maybe Zuko feels that too, that freeness in his chest that is finally allowing him to breathe for a second, because his face is open and relaxed in a way that Sokka doesn’t think he’s seen more than five times in the last year.
Rumors of fireworks being set up start to spread around, and the majority of the town assembles in a small grass meadow outside of the city walls. Sokka pulls Zuko over to a nice spot near the base of the small hill to watch, but the mayor of Yu Dao has other plans, dragging Zuko along with him to the front of the crowd at the top of the hill.
“People of Yu Dao!” The mayor’s voice isn’t loud, but it catches the attention of everyone gathered. Quiet falls over the crowd, and all eyes are on Zuko and the mayor. Zuko looks flushed with embarrassment, obviously not having expected to be put in front of the town once again.
Aang glides up to stand with them as if it was planned, and Sokka notices Katara join his side in his peripheral.
“We stand together today united not by our nations, our abilities, or our heritage, but by our choices to remain here in this great town together!” The mayor continues to wild applause and cheering. Katara grabs Sokka’s hand and she’s smiling so wide that he can’t help but pull her into his side. She’s gotten taller recently, but he must have too, because she still fits perfectly under his arm.
At the top of the hill, Aang’s face mirrors Katara’s excitement to the point that it’s almost creepy, though Sokka supposes to outsiders it would look endearing. “When I came to see your town, I’ll admit I was skeptical at first. But after seeing the families you chose for yourselves here, I understand that you all have something special and worth fighting for. For as long as Yu Dao wishes to remain as it is, I will protect and honor that specialness.”
After the cheering, all eyes lock onto the Prince. Zuko, having not been prepared to say anything, stumbles through the first part of his sentence.
Zuko isn’t great on the whole ‘uplifting speeches’ front, though he usually does well enough when he has to wing it last minute, so Sokka isn’t expecting anything spectacular about what comes out of Zuko’s mouth. He’s proven wrong, and finds himself hanging on to every word along with everyone in attendance.
“I am grateful to the people of Yu Dao for welcoming me into your town and showing me your way of life. I am honored that you allowed me to hear your voices, and trusted me to help safeguard your future. You here have always known what I hope the rest of the world will come to know: that heritage is our history, but it does not have to be our future. You are no longer a Fire Nation colony, or an Earth Kingdom village. You are the culmination of generations of love. Thank you for allowing me to witness that love, and I promise I will use the lessons you’ve taught me to continue to move the world forward.”
The longer Zuko speaks, the quieter the crowd becomes, until Sokka can hear Katara sniffling in between his words. Aang looks equally misty eyed next to Zuko and the mayor.
When Zuko is done speaking, he bows his head to the crowd, just in time for the first firework to ignite the darkening sky behind him. The crowd of Yu Dao citizens erupt into cheers.
Katara is yelling and shaking Sokka and pointing to the sky, but Sokka’s eyes are on Zuko and the way that the red blooms of light frame him, like a backdrop to a colorful painting. He’s laughing as Aang jumps on him and cheers, but his gaze finds Sokka’s before Sokka has the chance to look away.
Zuko’s not too far away on the top of the hill, but probably far enough away that Sokka can chalk up the way the fireworks light up Zuko’s eyes as his imagination running wild. In either case, Sokka finds that fireworks are suddenly his new favorite thing.
7
Sokka goes home.
He had helped Zuko work with Iroh in the weeks following the liberation of Yu Dao, and together they all drafted amendments to the Harmony Restoration Movement using the knowledge they’d gained while in the Earth Kingdom. It was approved by the Earth King, and now Katara and Aang are at work traveling to help where possible in the rehoming or liberation of select colonies.
Sokka has work to do at home, and is sick of watching Katara and Aang rub noses and cuddle, so he goes South.
There’s a lot of work that needs to go into restoring the South, and unfortunately that means there is a lot of help needed from the North, which causes tensions. Sokka works with his dad and Chief Arnook to organize construction, move and store resources, and set up meetings with the whole Tribe to hear concerns and opinions.
Arnook was not very interested in these meetings initially, but Sokka helps his father understand that they are nonnegotiable. Especially after what he’d seen in the Earth Kingdom, he needs to make sure his people’s voices are heard in this process.
It’s an important process, but it’s slow, so he writes many letters over the long stretch of the cold season.
Toph has established her own metalbending school, and her letters say it is going extremely well and that her three students show incredible promise. He’s unsure if he believes that, since he’d seen her teach Aang and he’s pretty sure it’s one of her students that she has writing the letters for her. Sokka promises to come see the world’s first metalbending students soon, regardless.
Katara and Aang are on the move constantly, so Katara ends her letters with the next location they are traveling to, with promises to stay put there until Sokka’s next letter arrives. It’s a small thing, but Sokka feels less lonely for it knowing that his sister is waiting for him. Sokka sends her foods that he knows will keep well for the delivery, to remind her of home, and she sends Sokka little trinkets she finds at each town they visit. Sometimes Aang will throw in drawings of their adventures, which Sokka collects in the back of his work notebook to look at when he’s bored out of his mind in meetings. Sokka craves the adventure of being with them, traveling on Appa.
Occasionally, Sokka will receive letters from other friends that they’ve made around the world; requests for opinions on prototypes, updates from people he hasn’t seen since the end of the war, well wishes and promises to visit, and, from Omashu, a large crate of rock candy delivered to the Southern Water Tribe in his name on a regular basis. Probably poking fun, but labeled as resource deliveries. Either way, the children of the South look forward to those crates from King Bumi the most.
Suki’s working in the Fire Nation, and though Sokka doesn’t really understand the whole reason why, he’s glad Zuko has some competent bodyguards now. She’s doing well adjusting to the island heat, but misses traveling. She tells Sokka that Zuko and Mai broke up again, and that Iroh is preparing to step down soon, so the palace has been more hectic than ever keeping Zuko busy but also away from danger. Sokka tells her that he’s glad she’s there to keep Zuko company, and maybe he can visit soon to distract the both of them. Suki’s letters become scarcer after that.
Sokka ends up writing Zuko the most frequently, which is nice until it begins to trouble Sokka.
At first, it made sense. Zuko is the easiest person to write of his friends; the Fire Nation is relatively close to the Southern Tribe, he stays put for the most part, and he’s arranged it so that any correspondence from his friends is delivered to him immediately using a system that Sokka helped the palace develop with cool secret code words on the envelopes and packages.
But when Suki stops writing him as often, Sokka becomes a bit sour about the arrival of Zuko’s letters.
Surely Suki can’t be as busy as Zuko, right? Zuko is months away from becoming Fire Lord, so that’s got to be keeping him pretty busy. Sokka’s learned better than to underestimate Suki, but all that she has told him is that her and the Warriors are acting as personal body guards for Zuko. If the other Kyoshi Warriors are there, shouldn’t Suki have at least some free time? And if she doesn’t, then what else is she using her time for that is keeping her so busy?
They’re not great thoughts to be having about his wonderful girlfriend who he loves and trusts, but the loneliness is probably getting to him, because it’s all he can think about when the mail carrier comes again and again with nothing from Suki.
It’s been a month since he’s heard from her, and Sokka’s received four letters from Zuko in that time.
In Zuko’s last letter, he describes how tensions are starting to get out of hand in the palace. He admits that one of their generals, who predictably used to work under Ozai, challenged him to an Agni Kai, which was summarily shut down by Iroh and other officials. After the whole mess, Suki snuck Zuko out of the palace for some weird frozen Fire Nation dessert that Zuko spends most of the letter describing. He ends the letter by saying that he hopes they can show it to Sokka one day soon.
Sokka, in a fit of anger that he regrets pretty quickly, throws the letter into the fire. He watches the edges of the paper curl in on itself as it burns, and feels the edges of the hole in his heart do the same.
8
When Zuko reaches out to Sokka, Katara, and Aang for help finding his mother, they come to the Fire Nation without question.
Well, that’s not 100% true. When they see that Azula will be joining them in the search for Ursa, Sokka has at least a hundred questions, but Aang gives this look to Zuko and says he understands, so Sokka saves the questions for after everyone has dispersed.
Zuko starts walking off with Iroh, but when Sokka catches him, Iroh shoots Sokka a smile as he continues on without his nephew. Zuko gives him a curious but not unkind look, glancing over Sokka’s shoulder.
“You didn’t want to catch up with Suki? We won’t leave until the morning.”
When Suki appeared to greet the gang (and stop them from attacking Azula) Sokka was so relieved to see her that he’d pulled her into a hug without thinking of anything else. She’d smiled so happily at him, her excitement so clear on her face even with all of the makeup, that it made him completely forget the ache that had grown in his chest during the days that went by without hearing from her.
But when Sokka hugged her, she had felt stiff in his arms. The ache returned. He chose to follow Zuko, and she is walking down the opposite hall with another Kyoshi Warrior.
“Nah,” Sokka says, feigning nonchalance. “I’ve got all day for that. I want to talk to you.”
Zuko seems to know where this is going, and turns to walk after his uncle. “Well, there’s some things that need to be prepared before we leave tomorrow. We can talk when we all meet for dinner, if that’s alright?”
“Zuko,” Sokka starts, grabbing Zuko’s sleeve to stop him. “Come on. What’s going on?”
Zuko stops, sighs, and motions for Sokka to follow him. They begin a walk through the maze-like turns of the palace corridors in silence.
Sokka thinks about starting with questions. That’s what he’d normally do. He doesn’t typically leave much room for silence if he can avoid it, especially when he wants to get to the bottom of things. But he thinks about Suki, about the tension in her shoulders and the way she didn’t wrap her arms all the way around him when she hugged him back, and he stays quiet.
It occurs to Sokka that they might just be walking in circles when Zuko starts to speak.
“I’ve been speaking with my father.”
That snaps Sokka right out of his thoughts.
“Wait, what- “
Zuko holds up his hands, on the defense. “Well, technically Azula has been speaking with my father.”
Sokka sucks in a breath, ready to yell out how is that any better when Zuko groans, rubbing at his face roughly.
“He’ll only talk to her, so I sent her to find out, and now she won’t tell me…”
“…Where your mother is.” Sokka finishes, losing his steam. Zuko nods.
“I don’t trust Azula, but I need to find my mother. How can I expect the people of my nation to prosper when they’re ruled by someone who can’t even keep his own family together?”
The sconces on the walls flicker with Zuko’s frustration. Just a week ago they had all attended a summit in Yu Dao where this professor spoke, and Sokka vaguely recalls Zuko getting upset after the guy had made some comment about your nation being a family and your family being a nation. Zuko had been whispering to Aang about it, but Sokka didn’t know that it would have affected him like this.
And who is Sokka to say that Zuko shouldn’t prioritize his family, especially right before taking over the control of his nation? Family has always been a huge deal to Sokka, and Zuko’s learned a lot about family from their friends and his uncle. It makes perfect sense that he’d want to strengthen those relationships however possible, while he has the time to.
Sokka places a hand on Zuko’s arm, squeezing comfortingly. “I understand. Even if Azula is crazy and tried to kill you and my sister and locked up my girlfriend.”
Zuko laughs, but there’s an undercurrent of tiredness to it. “You must think I’m the biggest idiot ever.”
“Not the biggest idiot!” Sokka says, jostling the stressed teen by his arm. “Not the smartest person in the world, but I think that General Chan is a bit bigger than you, in both size and idiocy.”
Zuko really laughs this time, shoving Sokka off him. “Good thing I’ve never been made into a beetato then. That at least gives me two things over Chan. Unless you have something to tell me.”
“I would never,” Sokka says, placing a hand over his heart. “Burn a beetato, that is, with your face on it or not. I’m not nearly as bad a cook as you.”
Zuko snorts, and they continue down the hall. “If you say so.”
Zuko starts telling Sokka about this secret room he’d found of Ozai’s full of old items from different nations, and how he wanted to show them after they meet for dinner. He wants help identifying the sources of the items, and making sure they are properly returned.
Sokka agrees to help, and as Zuko continues describing the items, how he’d found them, and the search for more secret rooms in the palace, Sokka thinks about the first time he’d met Zuko.
It had been almost three years ago when they’d found Aang, and Zuko stormed Sokka’s little vulnerable village. Sokka never would have imagined the journey they’d be on soon after, and definitely would not have pictured that they’d end up right where they are today.
Zuko had been so angry back then, bent on fulfilling a mission to appease his father. Sokka guesses that, in some ways, Azula and Zuko really were the same; tools that Ozai used for his own benefit, and then threw away when they didn’t work right anymore. But where Zuko had his uncle and found Sokka and their friends, Azula was abandoned by her friends at the Boiling Rock and snapped from the pressure she was under all alone. Maybe she still feels alone, never really been given the chance to heal.
Maybe that’s what Zuko’s doing, giving her the dignity and ability to heal with her big brother.
Sokka understands that.
9
Azula doesn’t make things easy for them. She spends the beginning of their trip insulting them, and no matter how Sokka tries he just can’t seem to lift the mood. Then she jumps off of Appa, which causes a whole thing that ends in a fight with a spirit wolf and some spirit moth wasps, which is so not cool, and Azula sets fire to a good chunk of forest. And that’s before they even make it to Hira’a, where they all hope Zuko’s mother will be.
Zuko’s mother is not at Hira’a, but a rumor is going around that she could be in the Forgetful Valley, so that’s where they head next.
Azula sets some of that forest on fire as well, and they end up finding the answer they’re looking for despite the disrespect to an ancient and terrifying spirit: Ursa is living in Hira’a with a new face as Noriko, the woman they’d met earlier who’d led them to the Forgetful Valley.
Azula takes off back towards Hira’a with the obvious intentions of hurting her mother, and Sokka is right beside Zuko when they go to stop her, with Aang and Katara staying behind.
Sokka does think that, no matter how crazy Azula might seem right now, Zuko has a chance of helping her and possibly building up that sibling connection that Sokka can tell he wants, simply because he wants it and is still trying.
Sokka still thinks this even with the fact that Zuko has had to redirect Azula’s lightning twice on this trip already.
But this is what happens that makes Sokka reconsider:
Azula is threatening Noren’s family, and Sokka’s just gotten her with a good thwack to the back of her head with his boomerang, and then she has Ursa pinned against the wall, and Zuko steps between them, and they trade blows and words, and then Zuko says “No matter what, you’re still my sister.”
And Azula loses it. Fire, both blue and red, is catching in the corners of Sokka’s vision, and he ushers Ursa outside with Noren and Kiyi while Zuko fights with his sister. Azula lashes out towards Ursa, but Sokka stands firmly in place to protect her, so he’s grabbed by the back of his head.
One of Azula’s hands is in his hair, holding his head at arms-length from her, and Sokka stumbles to his knees in front of her. He tries to pry her painful grip from his hair with both hands, but crazy must come with some strength benefits because her fingers have a solid iron-like grip on him. He can see Zuko running towards them from the side.
And then a flash of bright blue cuts off Sokka’s vision of Zuko because Azula is holding a ball of flames in her other hand and is swinging it right at Sokka’s face.
Sokka squeezes his eyes shut in a flinch as soon as he realizes what’s happening, so he feels more than sees Azula’s hand being knocked away and Zuko’s accompanying yell. When her grip is released on his hair, Sokka crumples forward and brings a hand up to his temple, where a tender spot has formed that stretches down over his cheekbone.
She’s burned him.
Zuko kneels down to Sokka’s side, and Sokka feels a bit faint and short of breath as he sees the absolute devastation on Zuko’s face. If Sokka didn’t know any better, he’d think Zuko had just watched him die.
Zuko turns that face to Azula, who starts out looking her usual smug self, but the look he gives her changes that. When Sokka glances up, Zuko’s expression has turned hard as stone.
Sokka hasn’t seen that face on him in a long time, and even when he had, it’d never seemed this intense.
Azula leaves. Zuko lets her. Sokka wonders what this means for the siblings.
When Katara and Aang catch up to them to help put out the fire on Noren’s house, Zuko begs Katara to heal Sokka’s face immediately. Sokka insists it’s not bad at all, really no different from that time he fell asleep on the beach and woke up all red and with stinging skin, but the desperation in Zuko’s voice stays until the mark is gone from Sokka’s face and the skin feels like new.
Later, Sokka watches Zuko speaking with his mother from a distance. Ursa has regained her memories, and now caresses the scar on Zuko’s face as she sobs quietly. Sokka tries not to think too hard about how her hand fits the shape of his scar a bit too well, or about how Azula had clearly been mirroring something earlier to get a rise out of Zuko.
10
When they leave Hira’a, they spend a few days recovering in Caldera with Zuko.
During this time, Suki breaks up with Sokka.
He really wishes he could say that he hadn’t seen it coming, but it’s been all he could think about for months. It was just a matter of when it would happen. It doesn’t make it less awkward to avoid her afterward, though, and he decides to head home a day earlier than planned.
“What if I come with you?” Zuko says, the night before Sokka is meant to board a ship which has a course set for the Southern Water Tribe.
“What?”
“To the South Pole. Would that be okay?”
They’re eating dinner, and Aang and Katara have stopped talking to listen in on their conversation.
“You want to?” Sokka doesn’t mean to sound that confused about the offer, but he is pretty confused. Doesn’t Zuko have a lot to prepare for? He’s taking over the throne in a matter of months.
“I think that’s a great idea!” Aang chirps between bites of his food. “You’ve traveled the Earth Kingdom, and done a ton of work with me on the Air Temples, but you’ve only been to the Water Tribes when you attacked them,” At that, Zuko’s face flushes a bright red and his shoulders hunch up to his ears. Sokka and Katara both hide laughs behind their hands. “This will be great!”
“Plus, we’re still rebuilding in the South, and you’re one of the main reasons why we’ve been able to repair the villages there. You should at least get a chance to see all the help you’ve been,” Katara adds sweetly, smiling at Zuko like she hadn’t just been laughing at him.
Zuko returns her smile, looking a bit less embarrassed even though red still colors his cheeks. “Yeah, that’s true.” He turns to Sokka. “What do you say?”
Sokka says this is very unfair. He thinks of Zuko accompanying him, followed obviously by his Kyoshi guards and obviously by his head guard Suki, who Sokka is trying to get a bit of distance from, and he feels even more miserable about the idea of going home early than it would have been just to stay an extra night. But then he locks eyes with Zuko and finds himself saying “Yeah, sounds great.”
Zuko’s smile feels the same way the sun does on Sokka’s face after a long winter.
Later, Sokka is teasing Zuko’s judgement on which clothes he deems appropriate to pack to the South Pole when Zuko asks, for the third time since they’d returned to Caldera, if Sokka’s face is okay.
“It looks okay, doesn’t it?” Sokka asks, trying not to snap. He feels tense, knowing Suki is standing guard right outside Zuko’s room.
Zuko still keeps his eyes on Sokka, scrutinizing his face where the burn mark is no more. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“Here,” Sokka says, reaching across the bed where they have several outfit options laid out and grabbing Zuko’s hand. He brings the hand up near his cheek, and Zuko uses his fingertips to gently feel the smooth, unblemished skin there.
“I’m sorry,” Zuko repeats quietly. He’s not making eye contact, staring at his own hand on Sokka’s temple like a red mark could pop up any second.
Sokka doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t always have the best track record of saying the right things in these types of situations. He knows what not to say, but it comes out anyways: “That’s how it happened for you, huh?”
Zuko lets his hand fall and is quiet for a moment. Sokka wonders if Zuko is imagining him with an identical scar on his face and regrets saying anything at all.
“Yeah.”
Sokka sees in his mind Azula’s fiery hand pressed against his own face, and then Ozai’s fiery hand pressed against a young Zuko’s. He sees Ursa sobbing, mourning the pain she left Zuko to handle on his own, and then Zuko’s devastation, rage, and desperation when Sokka was nearly left with a burn of his own. He sees the crown in the shape of a flame on Zuko’s head, the crown of a nation that will never deserve Zuko, even as Zuko molds it into one worth forgiving.
He looks, really looks, at the scar in the shape of a hand with fingers disappearing into Zuko’s hair, and feels his own rage. Rage that he doesn’t know if he deserves.
Sokka waits a beat, then says: “That’s rough, buddy.”
Zuko’s laughter is worth the pillow to the face, and they go back to planning outfits. Sokka almost completely forgets that Suki is there.
11
When they arrive in the South it’s without any guards, which surprises Sokka, but Zuko doesn’t even seem to notice. There also isn’t any fanfare, which Sokka knows relieves Zuko. Hakoda is waiting at the shore for them alone.
They’re greeted earnestly by Sokka’s father, and Zuko begins to tell him the story of finding his mother as they walk back to Sokka’s home. Because Hakoda is the fatherliest father figure in the world, he asks all the right questions, gasps in all the right places, and only jokes minimally and when appropriate for the tone.
He also waves away anyone approaching with a friendly smile while keeping his attention on Zuko. Sokka doesn’t think he’s ever appreciated his dad more.
Until, that is, Zuko finishes his story and in order to light-heartedly change the subject Hakoda asks “So where are the Fire Lord’s esteemed guards? Is Suki still on the ship?”
Zuko’s eyes meet Sokka’s worryingly, which confirms Sokka’s suspicions that Zuko had heard about the breakup from somewhere. Sokka hadn’t told his sister or friends, but Zuko had been the only one who seemed to have any awareness of Sokka’s mood souring, and he hadn’t questioned it. Why would he? Zuko knowing him well enough to tell when something is a bit off shouldn’t come as a surprise to Sokka. And especially after the whole ordeal with Azula, it’s a given that Sokka would be a bit off.
But then Sokka remembers when he’d first arrived in Caldera and Zuko had insisted he spend time with Suki. Maybe Zuko had heard from the Warriors about Suki’s plans to break up with Sokka. Maybe Suki told him herself. The thought turns something ugly in Sokka’s gut and reminds him of the burned letter.
“Suki stayed in the Fire Nation,” Zuko says when Sokka goes too long without saying anything.
Hakoda catches Sokka’s gaze and his eyes soften, while Zuko avoids eye contact with the both of them entirely. They make it home, and Sokka lets Zuko know where to put his stuff down while Hakoda excuses himself politely to attend a meeting.
Sokka’s mood has seen more whiplash changes in the past few days than he’s experienced in a lifetime, so he desperately does not want to beat around any bushes. “How did you know?”
Zuko is kneeling down with his back to Sokka, searching through one of his bags for something. His head stays down, and Sokka is just beginning to think that Zuko is ignoring him when he finally speaks up.
“Suki told me.”
“When?” Sokka’s voice betrays him with just a slight quiver, and Zuko’s head lifts but he doesn’t turn around, for which Sokka is a little grateful. He lifts his gloved hands to his eyes and presses hard. He will not cry.
He thinks about the letter, and about the silence from the person he wanted to hear from most when he was at his loneliest. He thinks about his best friend and his girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend.
He will not cry.
“Just before you arrived in Caldera.”
Sokka knows that he is being unfair. He usually likes to think of himself as a pretty rational person, and he tries not to let emotions factor into the cold hard facts of a situation. But he isn’t thinking anything through right now, and he has been in various states of emotional destress at every second of the last week, so he is a bit irrational at the moment.
Tears soak his gloves freely now, despite his best efforts, and he turns and runs from his own home.
In the time since Sokka had left to help Zuko find his mother just a week or so ago, much improvement had been made in the building of new homes for the tribespeople, both new and old, in the South. The decision had been made to set up a capitol in Wolf’s Cove, so most of the focus has been with establishing buildings against the mountains there, but Sokka and his father’s own temporary tent had not yet made the move farther East. Because of this, Sokka runs to the West, where there are fewer people and the coast is more familiar to him.
While staying in Caldera, Zuko had the whole gang of them set up in rooms near his. This wasn’t the case on their first night there, before they first left to find Ursa and Azula escaped, so Sokka had assumed that the choice was so they were all near each other in case Azula made a reappearance – especially with Sokka’s close call. Unfortunately for Sokka, this also meant that there was always at least two Kyoshi Warriors on guard just down the hall, outside of Zuko’s room.
Sokka might have entertained the idea of crying if he thought only his friends would hear him through the walls, but he could not stand the thought of a Warrior reporting back to Suki of his mourning their relationship, let alone the idea of Suki herself hearing while she was trying to work. Sokka doesn’t care about hiding the fact that he’s sad over the breakup, but doesn’t like the idea of causing Suki guilt over the choice to end things.
Now, Sokka similarly feels that he absolutely cannot cry in front of Zuko.
When Sokka makes it to the coast he hides himself among the remains of his old village, and he cries.
Change has always been a good thing to Sokka, more so in recent years as he and his friends have taken up personal missions to create lasting, positive change. He knows better than most that change isn’t always easy, or welcome, or big, but it always means something.
Suki had told Sokka that they had both changed, and she wasn’t sure if she was still interested in the way their relationship would also change. She was kind but stern on what she wanted, she was everything that Sokka fell in love with about her, and he couldn’t help but agree with her. Suki doesn’t want to discover that she doesn’t love Sokka the way she used to. Sokka doesn’t want to wait for someone who isn’t going to write him back. At the time it was simple, if heartbreaking, and he bided his time to weep about it at home in private.
But now?
Everything feels much less simple. Why would Suki confide in Zuko that she was going to break up with Sokka? Why wouldn’t Zuko say anything before, or at least not hide the fact that he knew after? Why have the Warriors been in Caldera, specifically guarding Zuko?
Why did she stop sending letters, when Zuko mentioned her so freely in his?
Sokka is thinking unfairly. He knows he is. He knows that most of those questions are none of his business to be asking, but his chest feels empty with loneliness and his gut feels sour with jealousy and his head is stuffed with koala sheep wool. He doesn’t feel particularly fair right now, huddled against an old, crumbling wall of snow no taller than he is.
Sooner than later, a faint glow appears, painting all of the snow in the area a rich orange. Sokka stays put, watching the way the light bounces around the area as the carrier of the flame enters the middle of the clearing. Sokka almost feels like he’s transported in time, as the light stops right next to where the tribe kept their large communal fire pit. How many nights has he spent staring at the way the light splashes on the snow walls like this? The nostalgia quiets his sniffling a bit.
He knows only one of two people are behind him now, and they know he’s here. Even if they can’t see him, they surely heard him as they came around the bend and walked through the ghost town.
Once Sokka is sure his sniffles have left him, he says “Sorry for running like that,” not knowing for sure who he is apologizing to, but knowing it’s deserved either way.
Sokka’s dad sighs, the way he does when he’s thinking really carefully about what to say next. “You really gave Zuko a scare.”
Sokka feels a confusing mix of disappointment and relief that it’s his father standing behind him, but he doesn’t have anything further to say to him, so he remains quiet.
After some time in the silence, footsteps start to make their way East once again, but the light remains where it is in the center of the small abandoned village.
The sun is starting to sink towards the horizon now, so it’s approaching dinner time. Sokka’s dad tries to keep a strict schedule for meals to help with the dramatic change of available sunlight over the year, and now that they are steadily entering their warm season that will be more important to him than ever. He really should head back with his dad, but he can’t bring himself to move. It could be the thoughts clouding his head, or the ice against his back, but Sokka feels numb.
It’s not long after Hakoda has disappeared that another pair of footsteps appear, and this time Sokka is quiet enough to hear how uncertain the shuffling of feet are as they make their way through the old village. His dad has sent Zuko.
Zuko carries another flame, and Sokka watches it transform the glowing light in the area around him. Fire was very rarely played with when he was young, but the light dancing off the snow was the setting for more than one story or song he heard growing up, and the fond memories soften him.
When Sokka stands, Zuko startles. Zuko’s bundled up tighter than when they’d arrived, so Sokka’s dad must have given him the promised furs to keep their princely guest properly warm during his stay.
Zuko’s hands are kept warm in a pair of Sokka’s gloves, and a small flame is cradled in the oil lamp clenched tightly in them. Zuko’s shoulders are hunched up to his ears, and anyone else might see it as a sign of being cold, but Sokka knows that Zuko is as uncomfortable about this conversation as is possible. That doesn’t help ease the thoughts in Sokka’s head, so he turns away from Zuko and presses his back up against the compressed snow once again.
Zuko takes a second to move, but once he does, he makes for Sokka’s hiding spot and sits down beside him without hesitating. Sokka doesn’t move, but isn’t sure what to say either.
Zuko ends up speaking first. “I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but I understand how much it sucks to be dumped. I thought I could help by keeping you company. That’s what helped me.”
“Oh,” Sokka says, his face pinching in anger. “You mean when Suki kept you company. Good to know.”
He knows he’ll regret that later, but right now he doesn’t care. He just wants to feel in control of this at least: making Zuko feel as awful as he does.
Zuko’s surprised and makes no effort to hide it. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know, you tell me,” Sokka bites out, putting every bit of bitterness he can into the words. The swirling mess of tense pain in his gut has migrated to his chest, begging his lungs to let it out.
“Are you serious?” Zuko’s angry now.
Good, Sokka thinks.
“Why did you know that my relationship was over before I did? Why did–” Sokka finds himself crying again, and he stops that sentence before his voice can crack. His hands resume their positions pressing into his eyes, stopping the tears from making their way down his face.
“If you’re trying to say what I think you are– Sokka!”
Sokka stands and tries to calm his breathing. As Zuko stands to face him, Sokka drops his hands. He does not want to cry. He wants to hurt, and he wants Zuko to understand that hurt.
Zuko looks bewildered and furious at the same time, which takes a bit of the wind from Sokka’s sails, but he can’t stop the outpour now.
“Did you know she stopped writing to me? I sent her letters every week but she never answered. And you were spending every day with her and going out for fun Fire Nation snacks. And she told you! She-” A mix of sniffling and hiccups get the better of Sokka, but he probably wouldn’t have been able to continue his tirade either way, because Zuko grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him into his chest, hugging him tight.
Sokka sobs freely once again, wailing into the shoulder of his best friend, who he can’t tell if he hates right now.
Zuko, to his credit, doesn’t complain about the copious amounts of snot that ends up on his shoulder in this process, although that may in part be due to the fact that the fur coat is actually Sokka’s.
Once Sokka’s calmed down a bit, Zuko says “That’s rough, buddy.” And Sokka shoves him back into the snow.
Zuko goes down gracefully and without complaint, which irks Sokka, so he halfheartedly kicks a pathetic amount of snow in Zuko’s direction for good measure.
“It was only funny when I said it.”
“Good thing I wasn’t going for funny,” Zuko says, sitting up. The jerk has snow sticking to his long hair, and it glitters prettily in the sunset. He looks up at Sokka, completely earnest. “Did you really think I would have done that to you?”
Sokka groans, wiping the tears and snot from his face and dropping down to sit next to Zuko. “No. Yes. I don’t know.”
Zuko doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and in that time Sokka realizes that both Zuko’s lamp, lost in the snow, and his dad’s lamp near the fire pit, have gone out. They are illuminated by the sun, kissing the horizon.
“I care about you and Suki a lot. You’re both great friends to me, and I could never repay either of you for everything you’ve done for me. I respect you both, and Suki knows how highly I think of you – I think that’s why she told me. So that I could be there for you, like you were for me.”
“I wasn’t there when you and Mai broke up,” Sokka protests, in a bit of a grumble, but feels Zuko’s words lightening him already. His emotions sure are easy to sway lately.
“Of course you were,” Zuko says, like it’s obvious. “If I wasn’t in a meeting or sleeping, I was reading your letters. If I wasn’t doing that, I was writing to you.” Zuko sighs, and Sokka watches his shoulders drop with the exhale. “It kept me sane.”
“Oh,” Sokka says eloquently.
“You know, every time Suki tried to take me somewhere or do something to cheer me up, it always revolved around you. ‘Sokka would love this ice cream!’ or ‘You should tell Sokka about what Iroh said at dinner.’ I could tell that she loved you. I don’t know why she didn’t write to you, but I know she was always thinking about you.”
Sokka sits in that for a second. He knew he would regret the things he said, the things he thought, but he’s still glad to have gotten it out. The sour pain in his gut and chest have subsided, and his head feels a bit clearer.
He looks at Zuko, who’s still looking at Sokka, and hears his voice in his head.
Did you really think I would have done that to you?
Sokka doesn’t think so. He and Zuko had grown close when traveling in the Earth Kingdom, and Sokka couldn’t ever see himself doing something like that to Zuko.
Zuko’s too noble-hearted or whatever to do anything like that, and much too awkward to pull it off even if he wanted to.
“I’m sorry,” Sokka says. “I don’t know why I dragged you into all of that. It was totally unfair.”
Zuko shrugs, like Sokka had just accused him of eating his lunch instead of going behind his back with Suki. “I should have talked to you about it back at the palace, but I didn’t think you’d want to with the Warriors always around.”
Which is exactly correct, and the last bit of anger leaves Sokka in a huff at being reminded how well Zuko knows him.
“Was dinner already done when he sent you over here? I’m starving.”
One day, when everything is whole again, Sokka will return here and build himself a home. Maybe he’ll face it towards the fire so he can watch the light on the snow. Just to remind himself that although things change, it’s not necessarily bad.