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Do you know the questions

That’s incredibly vague

36 questions to fall in love

I don’t know what that is

The New York Times: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love

See from nyt so very official

Okay great. Why are you telling me this?

Because we should play and answer

I am bored

Plane got delayed many hours

You guys aren't going to miss the game right? Because we're supposed to play at 7

This can’t fuck up the schedule

😐

No hollander i will still be there to beat your ass and then fuck you after.

Delete that

No names remember

Anyway

Questions

Answer with me

Fine

So you will play?

Yes I’ll answer the questions

!!

Ok 1.Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Do they have to be alive or can they be dead?

Either

James Creighton

Did you know he’s named the “father of hockey” because he organized the first ever indoor game in Montreal

He died in 1930 but I’d like to talk to him and see what he thinks about the game

Ahh dead hockey player of course

Not a player

What about you?

My mama

That sounds nice

Yes

2.Would you like to be famous? In what way?

We’re both already famous

Okay imagine we were not hockey players

Then I would not be famous

I wouldn’t want to be famous either. I don’t like people knowing things about me and always looking anyway

What about you? You’d still want to be famous

I do like some things that come with the fame

I would be famous racecar driver

Of course you’d pick that

More interesting than your boring answers

Am I going to be the only one to answer all of these first? That doesn’t seem fair

Fine

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

I will answer first

Answer is no

You don't?

You do?

Of course

If I already know what I'm going to say the phone call will go better, no need for awkward silences while I figure out the next words

And if they say something you are not expecting

I can see your eyebrow scrunch from here

No you can't

We're not even in the same country right now

Next question

So predictable

4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?

I guess probably playing a game and winning. Maybe a nice dinner with my parents after and then getting to go home and read

What no me in your perfect day?

No

Liarrrr

Day would be even more perfect if I was there fucking you through mattress at the end

Maybe I'm in your perfect day but you most certainly are not in mine

You are

What?

You are In my perfect day It's starts with huge breakfast buffet in morning Then i beat your ass at a game

I go out and celebrate with the team get some really good vodka then come back to hotel to see you there ready and waiting

You are already open and waiting for me to fuck you, begging me to punish you for losing that night

See that is perfect day

You're getting very off track

Already hard?

No

Fuck off

Next question

you are so easy hollander

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

in shower this morning

someone else was many months ago when sveta dragged me to karaoke

You sing karaoke?

yes my version of my heart will go one is beautiful

I find that hard to believe

I hummed a tune to myself while driving last night if that counts. And last time i babysit I sang a lullaby to arthur to get him to fall asleep

wow shane hollander signing a lullaby

very cute all the ladies ovaries will be exploding

What? I don't know what thats supposed to mean

next question

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Body

mind

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Well thats morbid

I guess old age? From what I know most of my family tends to get fairly old so that makes most sense

i think i will get sick

Sick so bad you’d end up dying?

what is it that question said? i have a hunch

too bad for you i have no sickness yet so i will be beating montreals ass tomorrow

I mean I’d never hope for you to be sick

Plus it would be no fun beating your ass if you're not playing good

It would just be sad

ehh it is maybe

what is the word for almost certain to happen?

Inevitable?

yes that

it is maybe inevitable

okay next 8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

partner as in me and you?

no you and pike😐

yes hollander me and you

1. We are both men

wow really? I did not know

Shut the fuck up

2.We both play Hockey

3.We’re both competitive

how will i ever pick 3

you really did name everything

Is this sarcasm?

no

Are you lying to me?

maybe

I could stop answering right now

You can go back to your boredom

nooo hollander i am sorry

please i cannot give more opinions on marleaus thirst traps

i will answer

okay we both got drafted in 2009

both have won stanley cup

we both like girls

I guess so

what you do not like girls hollander?

What?

No. Sure I like girls

I just mean technically I've won two stanleys now

🫩

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

hockey

Yeah hockey

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Umm I guess my mom could be pushy at times. I love her and thankful for what she did but sometimes as a kid it was a lot

What about you?

My father was not a very nice man

I would change that

Now my answer feels kind of silly

no is not silly

I am sorry you always felt pushed as a child even when you did not want it

I’m sorry you had to deal with your dad

You deserved kindness as a child

Thank you

Question 11?

Yeah

Okay

Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

I am not this bored

You can read my Wikipedia page

Thank god

Next one

Ah getting eager Hollander

I knew you liked this game😏

😐

Ask the next fucking question Rozanov

And you’re answering first

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

I would like to teleport

Would be very good ability

I don’t think they meant supernatural abilities

no?

Is your name Daniel jones

Who the fuck is Daniel jones?

New York time writer who wrote article

who is to say Daniel did not mean supernatural

So I get teleportation

Fine

I get mind reading

you would be terrible with mind reading

Isn’t the whole point of this for us to say what we PERSONALLY think

Yes

But you would think to much with mindreading

someone would think oh Shane Hollander is so mean and you would be stuck for 15 minutes thinking about what you did

Or someone would think I want to fuck Shane Hollander and then you blush for 15 minutes

Fuck you

I don’t blush

You are liar

Fuck this

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

hey! no!

I ask questions

You’re not asking anything but saying bullshit

Future. I want to know how many Stanley’s I end up winning

Yes I will ask for same thing

Then we can both know for certain that I win more

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

I want to skydive

Can’t risk injury during season

That sounds so fucking stupid and like a death sentence

No one dies skydiving

“In 2025, USPA members reported making 3.47 million skydives. In the same year, there were a total of 16 civilian skydiving fatalities in the United States.”

That is very low number

It’s not 0

I’d like to go skiing again

I used to go with my parents when I was a kid but haven’t had time

“An average of 35 to 40 people die from sport-related trauma at regulated ski areas”

wow Hollander did not know you were deredevil

Even more dangerous than ski diving

That can’t be right

I think you’re faking that statistic

How about we are both dare devils that want to do stupid things

No

I’m not a dare devil

YOU PLAY HOCKEY

What’s that supposed to mean?

Hollander how many bruises you have right now

That’s irrelevant

Let us just accept you like adrenaline rush and move on

I mean I enjoy it a normal amount

Yes this is why you have sex with me no? Good adrenaline rush

What I don’t have sex with you for the adrenaline rush

Is that what you think this is? Because it’s not

Was just a joke Hollander

Do not worry we’ll go to next question

15.What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

I think winning rookie of the year

Really not Stanley cup?

I mean yeah obviously winning the Stanley cup is one of my greatest achievements but I guess when it comes to rookie of the year there’s really only once chance to win that you know? So that one will always be kind of special

Yes makes sense

Mine is MVP

Feels special

Okay 16

You’re telling me we’re not even half way through?

yes and is because of this😐

No interrupting

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Loyalty

Understanding

17. What is your most treasured memory?

The first time I played a nhl game

My 7th birthday when mama made me honey cake

Honey cake? That sounds good

Yes is called Medovik

Is traditional Russian cake I will have you try sometime

Yeah that sounds nice

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

I think you missed a question?

No 18 is not showing up

Oh okay. I think I would live mainly the same, maybe make more time to see my parents and do things on a bucket list but I don’t think I would give up hockey.

I would give up hockey

Use all my money to buy more fancy cars and travel and do stupid ‘daredevil’ shit

20. What does friendship mean to you?

Um companionship

Did you google that?

Fuck off

Let me hear your poetic take on what friendship means to you then

Trust and respect

Right because that’s so much more original than companionship

😛

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I don’t know how to answer this

You go first

Fineee

I like affection

Sex and touching feels good is good for connection

Love is less

Not for as many people

I guess it’s opposite for me?

There’s a lot of people I love in my life affection and sex is only for a few

Like me

I hate to say it but I guess so. Yes like you

22.Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

Rapid fire Hollander

No talking or discussion about choices

Charismatic

Mmm I like that one

I though no commentary?

Yes sorry no talk

Smart

Hard working

Particular

That sounds like an insult

Is not

Dependable player

Predictable

Okay theses are really sounding like insults

Is not

Predictable and particular are good

I know you will fold clothes before I fuck you

And I know you do not like the feeling of the sticky lube

It was very uncomfortable

See?

Is good things

No need to guess or worry for surprise I like it

Oh

Okay then

I guess sometimes you have the tendency to be funny

I guess sometimes you are funny as well

Thoughtful

I do not think anyone would call violent Ilya Rozanov thoughtful

You aren’t violent

It’s all part of the game

And those people don’t know you

And do you Hollander?

Do you know me?

I think I know you more than them

Kind

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

Pretty close. I had a good childhood

Not very close or warm but is okay

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

You missed another question again

Yes weird also not showing up

You want me to find it?

No is okay

You will still fall in love even if it is 34 questions and not 36

I’m not falling in love

Liar

You are falling in love right now

Can feel it

You don’t feel shit

Now answer the question

We are both assholes

Speak for yourself, I’m not an asshole

There you go lying again

We are both liars

So you’re calling yourself a liar?

Obviously

We are both going to cum in 24 hours

Not if your plane gets delayed any more

We are both playing a game tomorrow

We are both going to be in Montreal

We are both 6ft

Your creativity know no limits Hollander

Shut the fuck up

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

I wish I had someone with whom I could share my house with

Your house?

You don’t like living by yourself

No is too quiet

I want a dog but will be sad to leave them alone for so long

You can get a fish

Ah yes fish

They are known for making lot of noise

I just mean it may help

Not feeling so alone knowing something else living is there

I will think about it

Now you answer

I wish I had someone which whom I could share my thoughts with

These answers are starting to sound fucking ridiculous and sappy

Yes I think that is point of the game

Well thank god it’s almost over

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

Before you ask yes hypothetical for the game partner is me and you

I wasn’t going to ask

No?

Whatever

I don’t trust barbers

🤨

Why would they know how I want my hair cut

You tell them how you like it?

But I don’t know how to say that. It’s easier if I cut it myself

Yes makes a lot of sense

Oh really?

Yes know I understand why your hair looks like that

Mine will need to know that I do not like bugs so they will need to get rid of them

Not even one of those small spiders

No

Is unatural for an animal to have that many legs

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

How honest are we going to be?

I like that you listen to me.

I have never had control in my life but you let me have it and it makes me feel useful and that I can finally do something right

Oh

Sorry I do not think I answered right

That is more about me than you

No

It's good

I guess something I like about you is that you take control

Sometimes things get a bit much and it’s nice that I don’t have to always think when we do things

Yes

Good

Yeah

Good

Next question?

Yes

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

I once bit Santa Claus

Hello?

😐

Sorry had to laugh very loud and marleau asked what was funny

29. Could not tell him that Hollander bit nice old Santa

I was 3

And he was very scary

🎅booo

Are you peeing your pants in fear

Fuck you

What’s your embarrassing moment then

Once got caught having sex in school closet

Very embarrassing

Bullshit

I know you weren’t embarrassed by that

Ugh okay

When I first moved to america there were little fliers in gas station about things to do in Boston so I grabbed one after paying for my sandwich and left

Apparently flier was not free and gas station man chased me outside threatening to call cops

Was very embarrassing

I am not laughing at you right now

There you go lying again

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

I think I cried a little when I got invited to the Olympics

I think I last cried when I was 12

Last time you cried was that many years ago?

What happened

I do not remember was a bad day I think

Okay only 6 left now

Are you in love yet

No are you?

No

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

I feel like we’ve answered this question at least in 5 different ways already

nyt is boring I will change it to physical

I like your ass

Focusing on physically I think is defeating the nyt purpose

?

Fine I like your chest

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Nothing is too serious

There’s probably multiple things

I don’t know just don’t be cruel I think

Fine

Yes do not be cruel

Everything else can be a joke

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

I say everything I want no regrets

Maybe would regret not telling my brother to go fuck himself

That would be your biggest regret?

Yes he is an asshole

I’m not sure what I’d regret

I think there’s things I’d regret not saying to my parents but I don’t really know

Don’t know what you’d say to them or don’t know if you’d regret saying it?

Both

Not good to have a lot of regrets in life

So what, you don’t have any?

Ah that is not what I said

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

I have a first edition of the The hockey encyclopedia actually signed by Stan Fischler that I got for my 10th birthday

I would save that

No pictures or important documents? Just old hockey book

I think my mom has copies off all of that stuff anyways

Would you save pictures

Yes

I have photobook with 5 pictures

I will save that one

Only 5?

I think all of my baby books have at least a hundred with how many my parents were taking

Yes we did not have many pictures of when I was a kid

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

It feels like bad luck saying one of them so either of my parents

I’m not sure how I’d survive without them

Svetlana

She has been in my life for very long time

I thought Svetlana was just a friend

Sveta is basically family

Plane is finally boarding in 10 minutes

Oh good we’ll still be on schedule for the game then

Yes and just enough time for final question

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

You first

I’ve answered the last few questions first

If I would want to show a person that I care for them more than they thought how should I do that

I’m not sure if I’m a good person for that problem

It’s just part of the questions and game Hollander

Answer

Maybe you can just show that you understand and pay attention to them

I don’t know give them their favorite drink or something

Hollander if you ever have career ending injury you would be great therapist

You can’t say that

That’s bad luck

Go knock on some wood

I am in an airport

I don’t give a shit go find some

Ok found wood and knocked

Ok

You promise?

Yes I promise

Good

Okay my problem is what should I do to know if I like something

Like what?

I don’t know just a hypothetical something

Try it out

Never know if you like or do not like something if you do not try it out i think

Right

Yeah that’s good

Ah so we can both become therapists when we have career ending injury

Stop saying shit like that

Go knock on the wood again

I did not know you were so superstitious

I’m not superstitious

Saying some things are just bad luck and you need to get rid of it

Right not superstitious at all

Is that sarcasm again?

Yes

Don’t you have a flight to catch?

5 minutes

Okay well hope this cured your boredom

Yes

Hope you did not fall too in love

Will be very awkward during face-off tomorrow

I did not fall in love

No amount of questions can make that happen

No?

No

Did you fall in love?

No

No falling in love at all

Good

Yes will shove you against both the rink and the mattress with no love at all just like usual

Fuck you Rozanov

Have a good flight