Archive of Our Own

Felix shifted a bit, settling deeper into the couch in their regularly used practice room. The lights were off, the room vaguely lit by the LEDs of the various machines, and the glow coming in from the hallway was now muted in the after-hours. He liked to sit in the near darkness, away from the bright lights to think. His career was full of light, so the dark was just for him to be… off. So, now that he had an unexpected minute to sit and ponder in the silent dance room, he took it.

Last time he’d checked, before tucking his phone away, it was edging past midnight, well past normal practice times, and the building was quiet. The other members had long since gone home, though Chan might be in his studio some floors away. Felix should probably either go find him or drag himself home but he wasn't ready to go yet. At least he was comfortable, his back pain-free as he stared across at his own black shape in the mirror.

Practice had ended a while ago and the others had been trickling out while Felix was still going over fine details. He’d told Seungminnie he’d be along in a bit and Minho had left him with a ‘well-done, you’ve got this’ and a butt pat. He hadn’t been paying attention to the various conversations but as they packed up he clearly heard Minho say “whoever is closest, hand me…” And Felix had frozen - something catching at him about the tone or the phrase… Then he’d shrugged it off and run through the dance a bit more, first with the music and then without. His brain and body were on the job but something simmered in his subconscious, something that had been slowly building to a sharp point.

Eventually it bugged him enough to sit and think about it. And that’s when he really remembered how the phrase had zipped through him before. Hearing it again, echoing back from the past, didn’t quite carry the same weight but it had a sting nonetheless.

Felix hated to admit, even in the shadow of his own mind, in the quiet spaces between awake and asleep, in the holes in the loud joys that are his daily life, that he was still hurt. The thing is - he shouldn’t be hurt; he’s actually a bit baffled as to why those few events, those brief couple of interactions among all the others have continued to bother him. Why had they lingered? It’s been weeks, most other details had faded into a blur, to be remembered only by watching the episode - which he’s never done - but those statements: ‘it was a mission’ and ‘whoever was closest’...

It’d been at least two months since the filming of the Holiday House. That day had been a bit of festive fun before all the craziness of the year-end award shows had taken all of their attention. And at the events they’d been showered with love; winning so many awards and even winning the biggest award they could have dreamed of other than an actual Grammy. Amazing performances, new and challenging choreo, so many lasers; he’d loved it.

He’s really been so lucky. Lucky to have been picked for Stray Kids, for the group to have succeeded, for the accident of genetics that gave him his face and voice. He’s blanketed in love. From the fans, from his family and most of all from his members and it’s made his heart sing.

And yet... Felix couldn’t remember anything else small lingering like this. He rearranged himself on the sofa, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, and realized that this hurt had been there, poking at the soft spots in his down days, ever since the filming.

Sure he’s had his fights with the members; the less said about the start of the Maniac tour the better. They’d sniped at each other, given each other the cold shoulder, once or twice punches were thrown. But it never lasted. Mostly they got over it themselves. Arguments had been caused by short tempers, fueled by exhaustion or running on sugar and caffeine. Everyone was quick to offer apologies after sleep, food or the lost item was found. And always the three eldest were there to facilitate, to mediate, lend an ear to all parties (no matter Minho’s judgy side-eye, that was all for show).

If he was asked now, years after debut, years after Maniac, what they had fought about Felix could only give vague answers.

Because it didn’t matter.

The soul bonds between them that they relearned and renewed after every major change were stronger than petty arguments. And these bonds had only been heightened when the members added physical love to the mental and emotional connections. There were certain relationships that seemed instantly destined - like a pair of chopsticks and other relationships that drifted together like falling leaves or pebbles rolling down a slope and crashing into each other. But they were together in all the ways that were possible and that mattered.

So why was…

“Felix?”

Felix jolted. Chan’s question knocked that train of thought back into the depths. “Yeah.” It came out as a croak and he cleared his throat. “Yeah, still here. Sorry.”

Chan came farther into the room, standing in the bar of light on the floor, it made his short blonde hair glow. Like a beacon in the dark - that thought made Felix snort at himself. “Seungmin texted.” A small frown creased Chan’s forehead. “Are you ok? I thought you'd gone home with the others?”

Felix shoved off the couch, bustling about to collect his things and joined Chan. “Got lost in my head,” he smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Chan’s cheek.

Chan relaxed, a soft grin appearing and he wrapped an arm around Felix’s shoulders. “All good little dancers should be home in bed at this hour,” he teased as they started for the door.

“I’ll call you in a half an hour and make sure you’re in bed then.” Felix laughed as he pulled the door closed. He dodged a swat before letting Chan drape an arm back over his shoulders as they made their way down the hall.

Later that week, when Seungmin was out at vocal lessons, Felix flicked off the lights in the living room and turned on the tv. It was the work of moments to find the Holiday House episodes, though he did have a quick debate with himself about whether to watch both. In the end he decided to, for a clearer picture.

By the end of the first episode he’d had to face-palm three times, a mix of hysterical laughter and humiliation dancing in his chest. It was amazing how bad at games they were, seriously, at least two or more of the members were hopeless at any given point. Felix shook his head, grinning widely. There were at least three lyricists in the group and the word games defeated them every time. He declined to even consider the sports games right now, some of those experiences had left metaphysical scars.

But here, only a few times was it down to Felix or Chan in crucial positions. He vividly remembered all the seat switching. At the time he hadn’t felt singled out despite all the moving and though he’d moved the most, he hadn’t been the only one. They’d had a purpose - driven by the promise of food - which in reality, the staff was pretty much required to give them anyway. It had been in the episode planning, for them to cook and eat while reading the letters. But as usual in the face of the challenges, they had forgotten. Under all that, which was now so obvious in the rewatch and the editing, was that the members loved him, worried about him and genuinely wanted everyone to succeed.

Tipping his head back, he stared at the glow of light on the ceiling. Was he being coddled? With the seat jumping and the members' protests, it seemed like a combination of a desire to win and not babying but… protectiveness? The thought warmed him to the core. After all these years, he certainly didn’t feel like a foreigner anymore but obviously nobody can know every word of a language. He and Chan were still running into new words several times a year. Also proverbs and sayings did trip him up, Chan too, though less. These were the sorts of things learned as a child - heard repeatedly when growing up. Here, Chan’s early arrival in Korea helped with that.

Felix sighed. No - where he stumbled in word games, other than not having enough time to think, was that his thoughts shifted languages all the time. He didn’t think exclusively in either English or Korean. Even now his thinking was a language jumble. It was better when he got going in conversation, everything settled into one language or the other, flowing and easy, but just like this - not so much. He wondered how Chan handled it, then and now. They hadn’t talked about learning Korean in a long time.

And he’d clearly gotten off track. There was nothing unusual in the first episode. Although it was now obvious that several people were working on missions, some of that was editing and some was hindsight. Overall just their usual fun chaos, full of laughter and silliness. Everyone was having a great time despite their horrible game results; bright, bouncy and full of laughter.

With a deep breath, he pushed the button to play the second ep. Felix smiled at the multiple expressions of dismay from most of the members as their missions were delivered. Poor Chan and Hyunjin, theirs were the most obvious versus their personalities. He did wonder why his mission wasn’t displayed with the rest but… skijigi made the editing choices.

It was really delightful watching everyone else do their cooking jobs. Being stationed in the main kitchen, he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed. Binnie’s fruit tree monster was even more adorable after watching him fight with it. And Seungminnie was an absolute master at misdirection. Felix brushed his hair out of his eyes as he laughed.

The scene cut back to Felix, Chan and Minho cooking and he admired the visual that they made - all three the same shade of blonde. This activity was clear in his memory, but watching was totally different from being there. He suppressed a tinge of nervousness as things played out, linking it to the memory. He watched himself rinsing the shrimp as Minho suddenly reached both arms around him for the towels. He remembered answering Minho’s question on complete autopilot, mind spinning from the unexpected presence against his back and not just standing there but actually pushing into him. Minho was a solid weight, actively bending him forward to reach the damn paper towels, enveloping him in warmth and the waft of Minho's scent. At the time, it had shot a brief startling burst of want through his veins. He’d turned hesitantly, hands still full of shrimp but Minho quickly pranced off with his prize, just a flash of blonde, black and crimson.

The ep then cut to Hyunjin looking adorably confused and Felix hit pause. Watching, the hug was just as odd as it had been in person when he'd been at the sink. Minho could clearly have stood on one side or the other and reached the towels or just asked for them. He was smiling brightly as he leaned over Felix and from most of the others it would have been a regular affectionate gesture. It was just, Minho didn’t do hugs voluntarily; he didn’t reach out the same way. It’s not to say he didn’t cuddle or touch, he did, he was just much more private about it, more mindful of the cameras as SKZ got older and more popular. He didn’t climb all over the young ones, Innie in particular, the way he used to, the way Felix recalled from early backstage days, laying on the floor in piles in various green rooms.

Felix took a sip from his bottle of water. Minho kept his public hands to Jisung, mostly. For the fans, the ship had sailed on them years ago. But with the rest of the members there was only the carefully kept secret despite the speculations and Minho’s reputation as a butt-hunter. With them, in private, Minho was a generous lover, willing and happy to be both strong or soft. Except, for various reasons, it had been months since Felix had been with either Minho or Jisung; well before the filming of Holiday House and that hadn't changed since. As a result, the sudden embrace had been shockingly fiery for both the lack of warning and the unusual behavior from a loved one who hadn’t done anything like that in a while. It had sent a shiver down his spine.

The hug had also reminded him of the absence, a bit of his day-to-day life that hadn’t been there for a long time. He had missed it. And he realized that he still missed it. Missed them both together and separately. The hug had brought the lack of intimacy forward in his awareness even though the following the craziness of the award show schedule and the holidays had shoved it into the shadows. He wondered if, back after filming, he had unconsciously settled into a waiting pattern, waiting to see if things were shifting.

And why hadn’t he reached out on his own? The only thing he could think of was that things were status quo, too busy with SKZ to find the time. But that couldn’t have been all there was; Felix hadn’t put any of his other relationships on hold during the holidays. Had he sensed some subtle pulling away from either of them? Were they not interested in a sexual relationship with Felix anymore?

He ran his hands through his hair and huffed. At this point he was certain he was overthinking things.

It was just that Minho looked so happy after the hug; big grin, eyes sparkling, seemingly enjoying Felix’s confusion. A tiny cynical corner said Minho was just happy about the prospect of steak but Felix squashed it. They all simped for food, meat other than chicken especially, as they were all constantly on and off diets. There was just no way to know ‘why’ short of asking, and odds were that Minho didn’t have a reason for the hug/lean and wouldn’t recall if he did.

Felix huffed and hit play.

A couple minutes later Felix laughed at his onscreen self. He had been concentrating so hard on the cooking after Minho’s odd hug that Seungmin’s strange hug hadn’t even registered. That man was smooth, getting stickers on them all seamlessly unnoticed.

On screen, as Minho came back with the wasabi, (and was it necessary to show it three times?) Felix was again struck by the weird duality of watching and remembering. Subtitle skijigi was really hyping it up as poor innocent tv Felix accepted the steak slice. Taste memories flooded his mouth: the warm, salty richness of the meat was a delight before the burn coated his tongue. The look of betrayal he’d shot Minho was completely missed by everyone except Subtitle skijigi and Felix pouted at the lack of reaction. Sure the burn had faded quickly and he appreciated that the Shopping skijigi hadn’t bought extra spicy considering how many members didn’t have great spice tolerance. He hadn’t really made a note of the outraged sound he’d made at the time, but now on the tv it was rather amusing; though it possibly said something that Chan completely ignored the yelp. But the hand feeding itself had left him with the warm fuzzy feeling of his hyung caring for him enough to give him an early bite of steak with the bonus attention of it being hand delivered. And it still did but…

Looking back from the outside, Minho’s complete disregard of Felix’s feelings on spice and wasabi in particular was... unusual. Felix shifted on the sofa, taking another drink to wash away the phantom wasabi flavor. After all these years, everyone was well versed in all the member's likes, dislikes, allergies, etc. Was Minho so focused on the mission that he forgot? And the light question after ‘was it too much?’ - he hadn’t noticed at the time. But watching it now, it was like Minho was on autopilot, he’d had a plan and was finishing it - which was fair. The move to feed Chan (and thanks Subtitle skijigi for noting the amount of wasabi) was so smooth that Felix hadn’t even noticed, still chewing and trying to refocus on his own cooking.

At the stove, Felix had been a whirlwind of thoughts. He had been watching the food closely to avoid any mistakes, all to avoid the possibility of riled up tempers or a delay in eating, while trying to decide how he really felt about the wasabi. All the while he had still been confused by the whole hug thing but knew he loved the attention. Even the hand feeding hadn’t thrown him for such a loop. It was a rather common thing among them, a way of showing affection anywhere, any time, without raising eyebrows. Minho’s cheery acceptance of the apology followed by his dash from the kitchen had hardly registered as Felix tossed his pasta.

The scene shifted to everyone at the table with the feast laid out and again Felix had to admire the aesthetic of the blondness of them all sitting next to each other. He chuckled quietly at the ‘intentional wasabi’ subtitle.

Then Minho patted him on the shoulder with a ‘Yongbokkie worked hard’ and Felix raised an eyebrow as his past self randomly answered thank you in Japanese with a pleased smile, obviously enjoying the praise. Even now the words hit hard, swirling in his mind in happy firework bursts. The dinner continued very successfully, everyone having fun and enjoying the food and Felix felt a return of that same warm glow that he’d felt then, watching the members eating enthusiastically. The only thing that stood out was that Minho seemed unusually loud and animated, very much into the festive mood.

Felix rolled his eyes at the kissy faces and comments traded between Jisung and Minho, the members (and staff) hardly even noticed anymore, but gosh they were cute. By the time dinner was over, the people who always ran hot had ditched the ‘festive’ sweaters. Felix grinned, it had been warm that day and the small room full of people and lights hadn’t helped. And then it was time to read end-of-year thoughts, theoretically meant to be anonymous.

Jisung started them off, reading and discussing, then as Jinnie started in on his letter Felix watched himself lean over Minho for the ladle. And Minho kissed at him. It was delightfully weird and cute but again a little out of character for the time and place. Away from the cameras they often did that as they leaned over each other at meals, sometimes actually landing kisses. Felix watched as they locked eyes onscreen and then digital Felix smirked just a little before turning away. He recalled the scent of Minho’s shampoo and the sparkle of his big eyes, full of delight. He recalled lounging back when he was done with the food, draping his arm across the back of Minho’s chair; hand stroking over the soft sweater and firm back every so often - petting and stroking as he did when there was nothing else to fiddle with and the members were within reach. He recalled feeling happy, full and indulged. And possibly a little bit hopeful, that’s why he’d leaned over in the first place.

On the sofa, Felix hit pause. He replayed that five seconds of the lean and kiss several times, unsure of what he was looking for but definitely not finding it. Shrugging at his own crazy, Felix pressed play and watched as the members continued to read the touching letters, making their way around the table.

It was times like this and in the 2 Kids Rooms when he really appreciated that everyone could and was willing to articulate their feelings. That had been really instrumental as they were becoming a polycule of eight, the process had not been entirely smooth and easy, but it had certainly helped. Especially the deep talks without the staring cameras and lurking staff where they felt safe. They talked through more emotional topics with care and a level of seriousness which contributed to keeping them together. It allowed them to avoid tension and infighting that plagued other groups and were covered up from the fans.

Clicking play, he wondered how he had missed the ‘coffee gaslighting’ going on at the end of the table? Felix chuckled and watched it again. Ah - he, Seungmin and Minho were talking, nothing important but enough of a distraction.

He remembered the struggle with the letter reading when it got to his turn well though. Cursive hangul wasn’t something he’d studied much at all. And again other than Seungminnie asking with his usual prickly love if it was really messy or if he was bad at reading, no one else had made any remarks about his trouble with the cursive. It had given him a feeling of being wrapped in warm velvet when Minho slipped seamlessly back into teacher mode. Was he being coddled again? Perhaps, but he appreciated it this time.

Watching Minho read his letter from the viewer’s perspective rather than sitting next to him was… different. Felix actually squirmed a bit on the sofa at the other's reactions and immediate ID of who wrote it. The editors had actually put up screenshots of the written words and wow yeah - his handwriting was clearly different. He supposed his hangul handwriting was obvious, hours of textbook practice ensuring that. His English printing and running script had been passable enough for his teachers before he’d come to Korea. He’d never noticed before but then he'd never seen everyone's writing samples lined-up one after another like this. But there was nothing wrong with textbook perfect letters. The note had a silly but loving tone like most of them - what was the really identifying clue? Felix skipped back to the beginning and listened to Minho read it again. This time he caught it in the editing: Know-jjang. Ah. He facepalmed.

Chan reading his letter was just as touching the second time around and he was secondhand proud of Minho for writing something mostly serious to be read in front of the cameras.

By now it was obvious the Subtitle skijigi was having fun with their job, especially when it came to the mission reveal part. Some of the missions were downright impossible to do secretly; Felix grinned at everyone’s valiant attempts. There was a lot of time spent on his sweet potato misdirections but he figured that was because there was nothing about it anywhere else in the ep due to the editing style. The segment finished with him saying he succeeded and Felix stared at his past self who already looked subdued rather than proud. He remembered feeling a tightening in his throat and a growing sense of disappointment.

He absolutely did not lean forward to stare at the tv, controlling the butterflies in his stomach. He remembered that as he finished talking about the challenge he was putting pieces together. Rethinking the interactions in the kitchen through the lens of a mission and not a lover reconnecting. Minho’s unusual actions in the kitchen fell into perspective and he had started to wonder which part of his behavior was the mission. Was any of it real? Watching it now, seeing the different angles… didn’t necessarily improve his feelings on it. Though seeing Minho stuff the meat into Jisung’s surprised face was worth a smile. Letting the section play through, he just watched to see what else there was. And wow, Subtitle skijigi was really typing it like they saw it. Though Changbin was probably not that hurt, just minorly disappointed; seeing Minho feeding Jisung was nothing new.

Felix wasn’t sure how to take Jisung’s complaints; the tone felt somewhat off. Felix could see why Jisung thought he’d been the first or only person fed. Minho had ignored the whole rest of the table when he’d come in and Jisung obviously hadn’t been in the kitchen for the other two pieces. But again, Minho handfeeding Jisung was a regular thing. The accompanying teasing from Hyunjin and Jeongin seemed like normal poking but at the time it had grated sharp edges on Felix’s nerves and today on the rewatch it wasn’t any better. Somehow the teasing just emphasized the fact that handfeeding him probably hadn’t meant anything to Minho.

Then Subtitle skijigi twisted the knife a little further at Felix’s murmured ‘I was really touched’ by writing (Felix was disappointed too) as an aside. Beside him Minho showed no sign of having heard the comment. Felix hit the pause and took another sip of water to break his tension. The progress bar showed about five minutes left so he decided to put all further thoughts on hold and finish the show.

Chan’s coffee mission was quickly uncovered with more moaning from poor Jisung, Felix felt a pang of sympathy - he’d had a rough ten minutes in the reveal section. Then came the sweet ending comments and the year end wishes. Felix was thrilled to see the editors had actually put in the backstage victory pic from the MAMAs. And then the successful members practically sprinted out to go wait in one of the other rooms while the losers did the punishment clean-up. A few shots of that and a heartstring tugging ending for Jeongin who’d truly had a tough day and Felix watched the company logo come up.

Then he went back and watched Minho in that two minute segment two, three, four times; each repeat focussed on a different person or even just a section of a person, whatever was in frame. Again he didn’t know what it was he wanted to see and soon clicked the tv off with a sigh. There was nothing in Minho’s expressions or reactions to indicate that he’d noticed anything wrong with Felix, in fact he didn’t even seem to have looked directly at Felix for the rest of the filming. The usual general chaos seemed to be the reason rather than active avoidance. But was it?

Felix shifted until he was laying on his side, the light from the kitchen drifting in to give a diffuse twilight effect. He tugged a fluffy pillow into his arms, one of many laying around, necessary in this group of touchy and fiddly people.

It was a cute episode and they’d had a lot of fun doing it despite it being filmed well in advance of actual Christmas, not that there would have been time with their year-end schedules. And of course, poor Yen-ah hadn’t had to clean the whole kitchen by himself. A few good action shots and then staff was swarming back in to take care of it and bundle the talent back home.

Felix noted that he’d had no solo close-up shots in the last five minutes. Had his face been doing something - showing something that the editors left out? He thought he’d shrugged it off, immediately let it go, but maybe there had been something subtle. The cameramen and editors knew them almost as well as the managers… Felix blew out a sigh at his own spiralling.

There was only so much they could put in an ep. And was that really the problem? No. Not really.

After the mission reveals, he’d made his end of year wish as Chan asked, draped his arm around Minho, smiled, laughed, and done everything normally. In fact, he’d forgotten about the dinner and mission reveal until last week…or maybe he hadn’t.

Looking at Minho’s mission from the outside there was absolutely nothing wrong with the way he went about it. Possibly forgetting Felix’s dislike of wasabi was a bit thoughtless, but Felix was willing to let that slide as people forget things and it hadn’t come up in a while. Objectively - what Minho did was exactly what Felix would have done if it had been his mission. Feed the two closest people and then whoever else he might run across first. And because it was secret… well Felix would probably have said something before shoving the meat at them, but still.

Felix growled and squeezed the pillow, annoyed at himself. Minho fed them all time through preparing and cooking or serving them by filling bowls and plates. What about this bothered him? Was it the hand-feeding? No, it all went back to the sudden hug for the towels. Just the feeding would have still made Felix happy but the hug put a whole different spin on it. And here it was well into January, still bugging him.

Was it a lack of attention? Had he been missing his hyung recently? It had been months since he had quality quiet time with Minho. The absence lingered in the back of his mind with the occasional strong urge for attention, but he pushed it away. The experience during the filming of Holiday House had proven Minho wasn’t seeking out Felix and hadn’t been.

Holiday breaks away with family had actually been a good thing for all of them. Although right now they were all kinds of scattered with various projects, photoshoots, assorted Fashion Weeks just around the corner. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Minho in a while, or Jisung for that matter. He’d seen them at dance practice a couple of days ago and almost every day since then.

Covering his face with the pillow, he gave a frustrated shout and then rolled over, flopping onto his back to stare at the ceiling. Suddenly he remembered something his mom had said years ago: Sometimes there’s no WHY to emotions. Sometimes they just are and you have to deal with them as they come.

He’d spent a week as a teenager angry and frustrated with the world, so far from his usual ‘sunshine’ personality that Felix bet the members wouldn’t have even recognized him. At first his family had given him the usual space but eventually his mom had sat him down at the kitchen table. They had talked, sullenly on his part but talked anyway and when he couldn't work out or articulate the problem Mom had said that. And then she’d sent him to chop some wood and generally beat the crap out of some trash items.

Obviously he’s not going to beat the crap out of Minho. Firstly he’s hurt, not angry and secondly he wants to live. Minho’s fight training was different from all the taekwondo and with the strength training and boxing he’s been into recently - no thank you.

So really the best thing to do is let it go. He’s looked at it now, examined it from all possible angles, sat and watched and thought. And now he’s kinda sick of himself. Like he’d thought a few days ago in the practice room: this was a tiny blip, a ridiculously small tangle in the large colorful tapestry of their relationship. Felix sucked in air, expanding his chest as far as he could, held for a moment and blew it all out. His mind emptied with the air and he let his eyes go hazy, staring up at nothing.

A few minutes later the door lock clicked open and he listened, unmoving, to Seungmin doing coming home things.

“Yongbok-ah?”

“Mmmmm - here.”

Seungmin’s square face appeared in his line of sight, one eyebrow raised and Felix had to smile. Seungmin’s eyes swept the scene, narrowing slightly as he came to a decision; Felix only had a split second to anticipate what. Spinning around he dropped onto Felix’s thighs, his hum of enjoyment almost harmonizing with the groan Felix let out at the sudden weight.

They sat for a second before Seungmin reached over and patted Felix on the chest. “You ok? Seem kinda down recently.”

Felix twined his fingers through Seungmin’s and sighed, affection running on soft little feet through his veins. “Thinking. Stuff to work out.”

“Need help?”

Jiggling their hands, Felix puffed his cheeks then blew the air out. “Meh. I’ve thought myself in circles. Time to try to put it in the past.”

Seungmin nodded. “Let me know if you change your mind - or any of us.” Felix returned the nod. “You want anything? Snack?” He grinned with a naughty edge, “Soju?”

Felix laughed, “Not really, but if you’re going to eat - sure.”

Seungmin shifted to stand up and suddenly Felix was struck by a craving but not for food. He tightened his fingers and Seungmin paused, looking back down.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

A soft smile broke out over Seungmin’s face. “Of course, Bok-ah. Come on, up you get.”

Felix allowed himself to be pulled out of the shadows of the couch and back into the light.

Felix did his best to stick to the decision to let his feelings go and got on with being a SKZ idol. Their schedules could always be counted on to provide plenty of distractions and there was enough work and meetings and events and gaming to keep his brain busy, though not as busy as an actual comeback. Not to mention an actual comeback looming on the horizon. The Golden Disk Awards were a couple of days past and the filming for Soul Beam was scheduled for the next upcoming weekend.

These days in between were rare… not exactly downtime but the schedules had more holes in them. So they had taken advantage of an early afternoon off and Hyunjin declared it a movie/hang out night at their place. The members had gathered and the kitchen quickly filled with piles of food, both homemade and delivered.

Hours later when the night was wearing on and the food had been demolished, Felix grabbed a fat cushion to sit on and parked himself on the floor in front of the full couch. He tucked himself between two sets of knees, behind him on his left was Jisung and of course Minho to his right and Changbin filled the last seat. Seungmin claimed one of the recliners and Chan the other with Hyunjin flitting about though he occasionally draped himself over either Chan or Seungmin. Jeongin was currently sprawled out using Felix’s thigh as a pillow.

The movie was only partially being watched because, as usual, someone made a comment halfway through and it devolved into several scattered discussions and bouts of play wrestling.

Felix was absently running his fingers through Jeongin’s orange hair as he and Jisung traded quips. The dark roots were almost a finger’s width long. He spread his fingers over the scalp and jiggled the orange head. Jeongin giggled and shot him a huge upside down grin.

Felix grinned back. “Getting quite some roots here. You gonna dye it again?”

He pulled a lock forward and frowned at it. “Nope. Back to dark before the filming this weekend.”

Felix laughed, hunching over until he was directly over Jeongin’s face and awkwardly but enthusiastically scrubbed through the foxy strands. Jeongin sputtered, waving his hands, batting ineffectively at Felix’s fingers. He made kisses down at the scrunched face, so happy to have messed with him until he laughed. Felix was fizzing with happiness even as Jeonging scrambled upright, shoving his long bangs out of his face.

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughed, eyeing the strands going in various directions. “Come lean back over, I’ll fix it.”

Jeongin narrowed his eyes, distrustful but his lips were still curled in a dimpled smile. With a huff he leaned forward, tipping his face down. Felix smiled, throwing a mischievous look over his shoulder to Jisung who snorted, quietly.

Reaching out with both hands, Felix gently combed the front section back down for a few strokes, then quick as lightning, dug his hands into the thick hair in the back and scrubbed again.

Sitting up with a playful grimace, Jeongin wailed in betrayal. “Hyyyuuuuunnnnng!”

Felix cackled, several other laughs joined in from around the room. He reached out and brushed the strands from Jeonging’s eyes even as he batted at Felix’s hands again. “You’re completely adorable even when you look like an orange dandelion. Hyung just can’t help himself.”

Felix made a pouty face and heart eyes at him until Jeongin sighed again. He shook one long finger at Felix but he was grinning. Felix blinked at him and made kitten paws.

“Gah!” Jeongin shifted to his knees and, to Felix’s surprise, cupped his cheeks and kissed him. He vaguely registered a series of whistles and clapping but mostly he just fell into the softness and warmth and love. Lips and tongues danced gently together as Felix closed his eyes, hands drifting up to grasp Jeongin’s arms. Shivers of delight chased down his back and he just basked in the sensation until Jeongin pulled back. Felix blinked slowly at him in hazy happiness.

Standing, Jeongin ruffled Felix’s bangs in retaliation. “Not to make promises I can’t keep, but I have early training and lessons. So I’m going to head back.”

Laughing, Felix swept his hair back. “No worries Ayen-ah.”

He leaned back against the couch enjoying the closeness of Jisung’s and Minho’s legs, watching as Changbin bustled around packing leftovers for Jeongin. Sliding his feet and hips out until he was more reclined, Felix tucked his shoulder under Minho's leg, wrapped an arm around his calf and leaned his cheek on a firm thigh. Nervousness fluttered through his chest before he could stop it. He hadn’t been this close to Minho outside of filming or performing in months and it felt new again. His eyes drifted around the room as the other members decided what they were doing next. Chan and Hyunjin were talking quietly but they had the energy of people winding things down. Felix wasn’t quite ready to get up and it looked like Seungminnie wasn’t moving yet either.

Fingers scratched gently at his scalp and he hummed in response. He shivered and sunk further against Minho’s leg, thrilled to have the attention. Longing burned through his chest as the blip of feeling he thought he put in the past flared to life once more. But petting lulled him into a sleepy sort of daze, content to wait until someone came over to get him or his pillow stood up. A hushed conversation above him floated past without much notice.

Soon enough the room emptied, Seungmin heading down the hall towards the bathroom and the others to the kitchen. Felix figured his time was about over and sighed.

“Yongbok-ah?” Minho’s light voice drifted down.

“Mmm?”

“Hey, Felix?” Jisung’s fingers tapped his left shoulder blade.

Curious, Felix unwound himself from Minho’s leg. He scooted forward and rearranged himself in a lotus position so he could see them without twisting his spine. He raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes as he looked between them.

“We were wondering if you wanted to come home with us tonight?”

The words seemed to echo in the sudden stillness of his thoughts. Did he? It shouldn’t be a hard decision, but it was one he hadn't been offered in months. Did he or didn’t he? If not - why didn’t he? His mind spun on the simple question and out of nowhere the feelings from that day in the Holiday House rose up like sharp tipped thorns poking and scratching. He’d thought he’d come to terms with and banished those feelings of being dismissed, but apparently they were only lurking in the dark, waiting for a chance to ambush him.

Why now? All the doubts flooded in. Did they suddenly realize they missed him? Did the others mention his contemplative mood? Jisung would want to bring his sunshine twin back to happiness without needing details. Felix hoped to be wanted for himself, not as something to be fixed or coddled. He should be thrilled with the proposition but somehow he only felt the sting of the months of absence.

He felt frozen, unable to move in either direction and Felix found himself looking at two of his best friends through eyes gone inexplicably hazy. He blinked, absently noting the wet feeling on his lashes, distantly confused about it. His expression must have been something though, as they both leaned forward, hands reaching.

He had to leave.

“Yongbok-ah?”

“Lixie?”

They spoke simultaneously.

That knocked him out of his daze and he stood as gracefully as possible. “Thank you hyungs, for your attention, no. I’m going to go home now.” Formal language slid automatically from his lips as he backed away.

Seungmin appeared in his line of vision as Felix was rapidly collecting his coat and shoes. He took only a moment to assess whatever vibe Felix was putting out. “Wait for me outside. I’ll say good-byes.”

It wasn’t until the chill night air whipped him in the face that his brain started up again and then he felt like slapping himself just like the cold did. He’d just run away from two of the people he loved most in the world. He’d hurt their feelings and he had no good reason. No way to explain himself. He groaned, folding in half with his head in his hands as if that would help - which it did not.

He stayed like that until a hand landed on his back. “Come on, let’s go home.” Seungmin patted him, “You can figure out how to fix it in the morning.”

“Uggghhh, I’m so stupid.” He straightened up and started walking with heavy steps.

Seungmin nodded. “Yes, but everyone is occasionally. Just get it out there and deal with it.”

He pulled out his phone, staring at the dark glass as if it would suck out the problem thoughts and send them to the abyss. With fingers that only trembled a little, he sent a message to Minho asking him to come over tomorrow so he could explain. He held his breath until Minho replied affirmatively followed by a sticker of a cat holding a heart. Seeing the typical response, his breathing relaxed.

Felix let Seungmin manage him through nighttime routines and then shepherded him into bed, curling around him. He didn’t think he’d sleep but with Seungmin’s steady breathing, tight arms and the promise of some sort of closure tomorrow he managed to drift off.

In the morning he managed to choke down something for breakfast, on the verge of becoming annoyed with himself at his own nerves. Seungmin was a constant rock by his side until he wasn’t. Leaving Felix at the table with a pat and a ‘you got this, shit can’t be that bad Lix-ah’, he collected his bag and left. A few moments later Felix heard him open the door and the indistinct sound of two quiet voices.

Then Minho came in around the corner; floppy black sweatshirt, blue sweatpants, black knit hat pulled low over his forehead and a hesitant expression on his sharp face.

“Do you,” Felix cleared his throat of the rasp clogging it, “want something to drink, hyung?”

Minho smiled gently, “No thank you Yongbok-ah.” He held out a hand, “Let’s go sit on the couch. We can talk and pretend it’s a 2 Kids Room.”

Felix smiled though it wobbled around the edges and stood, following the other man into the living room. Perhaps by design Minho settled himself in the right corner of the big couch the way he usually did on set.

Sitting down not quite in the opposite corner, Felix curled up with the same fluffy pillow from earlier, looked at Minho and suddenly felt himself relax. The tension drained from him like water from sand and he finally realized he could figure this out. The hurt was there like a splinter just under the skin and it was time to pull it free.

“I’m sorry about last night. I appreciated the offer but I wasn’t in the right place for it.”

Minho blinked at him. “It’s ok, Yongbok. You know you never have to sleep with any of us if you don’t want to.”

Felix nodded. “Of course, but that’s not really it.” He ducked his head shyly, “I’ve missed you two, we haven't had time for each other in months.”

Minho tipped his head, looking surprised and then thoughtful. “How long has it been? Has it been since summer? That’s too long.” He sounded confused, as though he hadn’t realized the length of time. He paused and asked, “Not even with Jisung?”

When Felix shook his head Minho reached out and brushed his fingers over Felix’s wrist. “I’m sorry,” he said, eyebrows scrunched.

Felix swallowed, touched by the care as expected from his tsundere hyung. ”I know. We've been so busy and I was fine with the others and you know how we rotate sleeping together but still. I’ve missed you.” Giving a tiny cheeky grin he added, “Although we’re together so much for regular SKZ stuff that it was hardly possible to miss you any other way.”

Taking off his hat, Minho tossed it on the side table and scrubbed fingers through his hair; he did not look distracted by Felix’s joke.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Minho asked.

He shrugged. “I only realized how long it had been since we’d slept together very recently. And the combination of not noticing how long it had been and us being too busy made it seem like it had been too long to bring it up. So I didn’t. And then you surprised me last night and I didn’t know how to react.”

Minho blinked, his dark stare pierced into Felix’s eyes as though looking for what he wasn’t saying. He cocked his head and asked leadingly, “And?”

Felix hated that he was so easy to read; he shifted his eyes down and watched as his fingers plucked violently at the pillow as he admitted softly, “And… Ah… I wasn’t sure I was missed.”

“Yongbok.” Minho sounded devastated. “So then why not last night? Why were you not in the right place?” He paused and gave that disconcertingly direct stare. “We will always want you and wait for you. Will you tell me what else is bothering you?”

Felix squeezed the pillow and sighed, his nerves returned, tightening the muscles in his shoulders. “This sounds so dumb aloud. Wait until I get it all out please.” He paused, taking in the concern on that sculpted face. When Minho nodded, Felix swallowed and blurted, “I just realized that I was hurt by your actions when we were filming Holiday House.”

Minho’s concerned expression deepened, but he said nothing, obviously waiting as requested. Felix hurried to reassure but still dug his fingers into the pillow. “I didn't realize I was carrying unresolved feelings until just recently. I haven’t been sitting and stewing about it all this time. It was just something tiny in the back of everything but…” He sighed again, eyes drifting to the tv before dropping down to stare at his hands. “I watched the eps and we were having so much fun and being stupid with the games as usual… I don't know if you even remember.” He shot a look upward.

Minho shook his head, frowning; his eyes hazy as he obviously tried to think back. He opened his mouth, then paused and closed it. He shook his head again and shrugged.

“Yeah - thought so,” Felix sighed, nodding. “We do so much and I’m surprised that I remembered as much as I did. I think it had to do with my mindset that day. Anyway, in the kitchen you came up behind me at the sink and embraced me to get the towels. Do you remember?” The fake fur of the pillow slid through his fingers, grounding him.

“No,” Minho stared up at the ceiling. “Maybe. Is it important?”

Biting his lip, Felix cleared his throat and answered. “It surprised me because it hadn’t happened in a long time. I liked it and I missed it. And then you fed me and I loved the attention but I was a bit annoyed at the wasabi…”

Minho interrupted, eyes wide, “Oooohh, how did I forget?”

Shrugging, Felix continued, words crowding behind his lips, determined now to barrel through, “And I get that you were focused on your mission and just feeding the most available people and I would have done the same…”

“But I forgot your spice tolerance. I’m sorry,” Minho reached out and tugged one hand free from the pillow to twine their fingers together. The firm grip was warm and solid, even better at grounding him than the fake fur.

Strengthened by the gesture, Felix nodded. “It just felt… dismissive. I shrugged it off and got back into the fun and we ate and you made kisses at me and helped me with Yennie’s cursive and liked my letter. It felt like old times and I was so happy.”

Minho’s face journeyed from revelation to sadness, “And then the mission reveal.”

Felix nodded again. “Everyone mostly focused on Jisung as he was the loud one, as he usually is.” Felix couldn’t control the fondness in his voice, “Complaining about how he thought he was specially fed. And watching it he really was, the only one you actually went to find. But like I said, obviously you feed the closest.” His tone wobbled dangerously despite his best attempts; he cleared his throat to regain control.

“But it wasn’t special. It was because I cared about the mission.” Minho’s expression crumpled and Felix felt his eyes well in response. He blinked rapidly to clear the liquid but one spilled over in a crooked streak. Minho continued, his voice full of regret, “And I’ve been neglecting you for months. Ahh, Bokkie, I’m sorry. Come here. How can I make it up to you?”

He tugged on their still joined hands and Felix shifted. Curling his legs and dipping his shoulder, he allowed himself to be pulled into a side hug. He tucked his face into Minho’s neck, feeling smooth skin on his forehead and warm cloth under his cheek. The strong arms of his hyung wrapped around him, one hand cupping the back of his head as Felix gripped Minho’s hoodie. He breathed in the scent of clean laundry and citrusy perfume and felt something inside give way. Some long hidden tension drained away and he melted into the embrace.

It was a long moment before Felix processed that there had been a question and he finally mumbled, “Don’t have to. Told you, it’s stupid. I feel better now.”

Minho pulled in air, his chest filling under Felix’s hands. He held it and let it out in a sigh. There was soft pressure against the top of his head as Minho rested his cheek on it but his voice was light. “Let hyung cook a special dinner just for you and Sungie to make up for it. Come over tonight?”

Snuggled in like a kitten, Felix was a melted pile of goo; however there was only one obvious answer. “Yes."

At 7:30pm Felix knocked on the Minsung dorm door.

The door opened, wafting delicious smells out past a smiling Jisung. “Lix-AH!!!!”

Felix grinned, a bit bemused as Jisung practically dragged him in by the collar. As soon as he’d kicked his shoes off, Jisung slapped both hands over Felix’s ears and hauled him in for a kiss. Felix’s mouth had been open to say something but his brain instantly short-circuited from lips and tongue and weight and heat. He vaguely registered his back meeting the door as Jisung apparently tried to give back all the affection he’d missed over the past months all at once. The kiss left him spinning and floating in surprise but not so much that he couldn’t respond, fingers of one hand dug into that tempting reddish hair while the other grabbed a handful of ass.

The first tingles of warmth began to trickle down his spine when Jisung pulled back, resting their foreheads together. “I’m sorry I've been an absent partner.”

“I literally saw you yesterday and nearly every day for the last eight years but I will take that in the spirit offered.” Felix grinned at the ensuing pout then leaned forward and captured that plush bottom lip.

They continued kissing delightfully for a bit longer before, “Jagi? Is that Yongbok-ah?”

Felix nudged at Jisung’s waist who declined to disengage. Jisung moaned and clung like a monkey, tracing patterns on the roof of Felix’s mouth with his tongue. Just as Felix was going a bit weak in the knees Minho’s voice came from just in behind Jisung.

“Aiya Hannie! At least you let him get in the door.”

Felix blinked as Minho tugged Jisung back ignoring his yelp. He hardly had time to see the expression on his sulking friend’s face when his vision was filled by Minho’s face instead and he was being kissed again, vaguely hearing Jisung mutter about checking the food. Firm and tender, Minho kissed him until they were both breathless, Minho’s wide chest and the door the only things keeping him vertical.

Minho leaned back with a slow, pulling suck on his lower lip and, as Felix tried to bring his brain back online, he was stripped of his outerwear and stumblingly escorted to a seat at the kitchen table. The surface was full of plates and bowls, some empty, some already full of kimchi jjigae, japchae and other delicious looking things. Jisung placed small cups at each setting and caught Felix’s eye.

“For the soju,” he winked and Felix laughed.

Minho was back at the stove, removing the meat that was sizzling in a pan which he then sliced and arranged on a platter. He brought it over and laid it in the remaining open space in the center.

“I didn’t have time for beef wellington tonight but I thought we could redo the steak that caused the issue.”

Felix felt his heart swell. “Thank you! It will be the best steak.”

Minho sat and exchanged a look with Jisung. Together they each took one of Felix’s hands. Felix blinked, surprised.

“We watched the Holiday House episodes today,” Minho started.

“They were a lot of fun! I can’t believe how much I forgot.” Jisung laughed, jiggling Felix’s hand. “I may go back and watch more old SKZ Codes. STAY gets some really good stuff!” Felix grinned at the rising levels of enthusiasm.

“Mmm. Anyway,” Minho took control of the conversation again. “I’m sorry for being subconsciously misleading, uncaring of your food preferences and too focused on the mission to make sure you were ok. This hyung will try to do better.”

Blinking rapidly, he squeezed both their hands.

“We should have noticed and we should have made more time for you just …we’ll find a way.” Jisung being sincere like this was lethal and Felix couldn’t take it. Two pairs of moltenly sweet boba eyes were excessive.

“I should have said something about how I was feeling too and I’m sorry. But this is too much! Just all the trouble you went to for dinner is plenty!” Felix ducked his head and tried gently tugging to free his hands but they didn’t let go. He could feel his cheeks and ears heating, his heart overflowing.

“You have nothing to apologize for and it’s never too much for our Sunshine.” Minho said with a devastatingly straight face, though his eyes were laughing. “This is our chance to pamper you for the night, all you have to do is let us.” Felix just squeaked and hunched his shoulders, feeling the blush burn brighter.

Jisung squealed, “He’s so cute! Stop saying such nice things or we might both explode!”

Minho’s answer was just that lopsided smirk of his. But his intensity lessened as his eyes flicked down and with precise chopsticks, he delicately chose a juicy slice of steak. Staring Felix straight in the eyes, he presented the morsel.

Feeling like he might actually combust, Felix leaned forward and opened his mouth, allowing Minho to place it on his tongue. Still warm, salty and tasting of various herbs and the familiar flavor of beef, he closed his eyes to savor the food and the care. With a final squeeze, Minho released his hand, Jisung followed a moment later but not without a quick kiss to the knuckles first.

The next hour was filled with good food and laughter. Jisung kept up a constant stream of chatter mixed in with Minho’s jokes and they filled all the empty Minsung shaped holes in his heart with glowing golden light.

The dishes were easily dealt with and Felix wandered into the living room wondering what to do next. Before he could sit, arms slid around him from behind and a wide chest plastered itself against his back, a pointy chin settled on his shoulder with a hint of Minho’s warm citrus perfume. Felix huffed a small laugh and gripped the forearms wrapped around his middle.

“Do you want to be with us tonight?”

This time the question shot like an arrow through him leaving anticipatory tingles in its wake, all previous hesitation replaced by excitement. Felix leaned back into the embrace. “Yes.”

“Mmm,” Minho placed a kiss against the side of his neck, once, twice before smooth fingertips brushed the trailing ends of his hair aside. Felix melted, closing his eyes as warm lips trailed kisses over sensitive skin.

Another set of hands covered his where they rested on Minho’s arms and Felix smiled. A puff of air on his cheek was warning enough as more soft lips brushed over his own. He slipped his tongue out to trace Jisung’s cupid's bow and the sharp edge of his front teeth before sliding in to caress Jisung’s tongue. Behind him Minho hummed against the back of his neck while pressing sucking kisses to tender skin and Felix shivered. He relaxed into Jisung’s attentions, trading the lead back and forth, getting lost in the floaty feeling of being loved by two of his favorite people.

But this didn’t hold Minho’s interest for very long, and soon he tugged his hands free and moved to grab Felix’s sides, fingers fisted in his sweater. With that smooth move he was so good at, Minho lifted the sweater, the rising hem signalling Felix to lift his arms and for Jisung to step back. As the cloth cleared his head he shook the hair from his eyes and laughed, looking up at Jisung’s expression of wide-eyed hunger, he chuckled again. That started a surprisingly uncoordinated trip for three dancers that had them giggling all the way into the bedroom, trailing various bits of discarded clothing.

Jisung threw himself on the bed in a sprawl of nothing but long limbs, golden skin and black ink. “Come on over, baby,” Jisung patted the bed with a playful leer and waggling eyebrows. “I’m here for you! It’s going to be so good!”

Felix giggled, hiding a grin behind his hand but played along, turning his nose up and staring at the ceiling, “No. You’ve been kinda mean to me for a long while and I’m going to make you… work… for… it.” Felix lost it, breaking down into laughter as Jisung rearranged himself on his knees with pleading hands.

“You are absolutely right.” Minho leaned in and breathed in his ear, laying a burning palm on his shoulder and slid it down his chest to cover his sensitive nipple. Felix’s laughter cut off with a surprised gasp and Minho used that to dive in for an absolutely filthy kiss and Felix felt himself start to harden.

Pulling back, Minho stared deeply into Felix’s eyes and smiled, sharp and full of promise. Without breaking the stare he said, “Back against the headboard, jagi.” Behind him Jisung scrambled to obey, arranging pillows into a pile to lean on, as Felix swallowed in anticipation.

Minho brought his other hand up so both nipples were covered, circling his palms as nubs hardened under the stimulation. Felix felt his heart speed up as sparks shot from his chest to his groin. Sliding his hands down Felix’s ribs, Minho kept going around to his back and down until he had both hands on the globes of Felix’s ass. He squeezed them firmly and pulled at the same time.

“Hyung!” Felix squeaked, stumbling forward until he was plastered from pecs to hips against Minho’s sculpted torso. His half-hard cock pressed firmly against Minho's, sending a bolt of pleasure through him and he moaned. His moan was echoed by Jisung watching from the bed.

“Get on the bed and lean on him Yongbokkie,” Minho breathed into his ear. Felix shivered, goosebumps running down his spine as Minho released him.

Stepping forward, he climbed on the bed and crawled until he was hovering over Jisung staring down at his bright eyes and the flush creeping across his chest. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself, you sexy thing.” Jisung smirked.

Delighted, Felix dove down for a kiss, sucking on lips and dueling tongues until a light slap on his ass brought his head up with a surprised yip.

“Over you go now,” Minho directed.

Giving in to what was obviously a pre-made plan, Felix turned over and settled between Jisung’s legs, back to chest; Jisung’s chin bumped against Felix’s temple and his hard cock tucked into the small of Felix’s back. As he got settled Minho moved around the room, lighting many little candles in jars and turning off the big light.

Jisung took immediate advantage of the newly reachable real estate and ran his hands up and down Felix’s upper arms and across his whole torso. Felix sighed and enjoyed watching and feeling the slender fingers roaming over his skin.

“Look at how pretty you are, even if the carpet doesn’t match the drapes,” Jisung murmured, blowing a blond strand near his lips forward. He ran his fingers through the sparse dark hairs trailing downward from Felix’s belly button.

Felix laughed a bit breathlessly. “Yeah - that’s a bit too much.”

The mattress shifted as Minho climbed on. “No, definitely no bleaching chemicals down here.” He settled between Felix’s thighs and petted the trimmed patch of dark hair above his cock, his eyes burned hot as he visually traced the shape of Felix laid out on Jisung. Felix didn’t quite squirm but his thighs twitched as his cock hardened further at the look and teasing touch.

Leaning down, Minho took Jisung’s lips in an aggressive kiss before suddenly taking possession of Felix’s mouth. Felix was swept away by the intensity and when Minho slid down to mouth at his collarbones he was left gasping.

Minho kissed his way down his sternum and Jisung slid his hands up under Felix’s armpits, pushing the soft swells of his pecs inward to make little mounds. Minho fell upon the offered treats like he hadn’t eaten in days, fastening his lips to one hard nub after the other. Felix groaned, hands flying up to Minho’s shoulders as fire spread over his chest.

“Look at him sucking on your titties so good. You like it, yes?” Jisung rumbled, voice deep. Felix groaned again, nodding as he watched that sleek black head go back and forth; as the heat built he also felt cradled, loved and desired.

Just when the pleasure began to take a sharper turn Minho abandoned his nipples to suck his way down his ribs and Felix held his breath. That pink tongue dipped into his belly button briefly before continuing downwards. His cock twitched, another drop of precum sliding out to add to the growing slickness on his skin.

“Ahhh Lix-ah,” Minho breathed the words hotly out over his cockhead.

“Uhhhh,” Felix shivered and Jisung draped his lower legs over Felix’s, trapping him, locking him in place. Felix panted, the muscles in his thighs tightening with anticipation. Minho wrapped a hot hand around the shaft and lifted it straight up. Felix choked on air as Minho began licking, little fast flicks around the sensitive rim and head.

“I love his kitten licks,” Jisung muttered filthily as he plucked at sore nipples. “He can go forever. Drives me crazy.”

Felix watched as that agile tongue danced over the dark red head of his dick and whined mindlessly. Then Minho ducked his head, taking half his cock into his mouth. Starbursts went off and his vision whited out. Pleasure doubled and redoubled as his balls were massaged and Felix vaguely heard himself making inhuman noises. He gasped for air as his hands flailed until they were captured by Jisung. Minho was tracing all the sensitive skin with his tongue, occasionally swallowing as Felix leaked and leaked.

“Close. I’m close,” he gasped.

Jisung cooed in English, “Go on baby. Give it to him.”

Pushing down firmly on Felix’s hips, Minho took him all the way down. The heat and pressure and the sight of Minho’s lips against the skin of his groin were too much. Minho hummed and Felix wailed, ecstasy coursed through him as his vision faded to nothing and he spilled down Minho’s throat.

He panted for air as he became aware of soft hands petting and gentle voices praising. “Wow,” he managed to croak and peeled open eyes he didn’t remember closing.

Jisung squirmed beneath him, twitching his hips and leaving wet trails on his skin, “You ready for round two?”

Felix coughed, hazy and wrung out. “No?”

Minho appeared, thrusting a water bottle into his field of vision. “Give him just a minute, jagi. We’ll get you taken care of soon.”

Felix grunted, finding the strength to sit up and chug the water, his back chilling rapidly. It was a welcome relief to escape both his and Jisung’s heat and sweat.

Behind him Jisung whined as Minho moved past and suddenly the noise was muffled. Felix looked over his shoulder and saw Minho absolutely attacking Jisung’s mouth. Jisung was glowing, flushed, and lightly sheened with sweat sticking his bangs to his forehead, giving off an adorably desperate vibe. Minho leaned over him like a pale predator reclaiming territory. They were blisteringly hot and Felix wasn’t hugely surprised to feel a small shiver of arousal at the sight.

Pulling back Minho shot Felix a smoking look. “Yongbokkie, Sungie could use a little attention.”

Felix twisted the water bottle cap tight and dropped it to the floor. He reached out and pulled a lingering stroke over Minho’s cock, smooth and hard and slick under his palm and smirked back as Minho gasped, “Yes, hyung.” Pleased Felix shifted himself around and chose his target, the tempting pink nipple under the ‘Blessed’ tat.

Bending over he blew on the damp skin and watched it pebble before he fastened his lips over it and sucked. Above him Jisung groaned, muffled again by Minho’s kiss. Felix flicked the little hard nub with his tongue while maintaining the pressure, his hands flying to Jisung’s ribs to keep him still as he heaved. Pulling back he blew on the sensitive wet flesh again then repeated the process several more times. Satisfied with the noises that produced, Felix moved over to the neglected side. This time he took a huge mouthful of the nipple and surrounding skin, worshipping all the hard work Jisung had been putting into his chest recently. Jisung’s legs shifted as he lifted his hips, trying to rub his cock on Felix’s stomach but he was too high up.

A hand landed on his head and Felix looked up at Minho, pulling off with a slow slurp making Jisung moan. “Lower now please, Lix-ah.”

Felix grinned at Minho, a pleasant simmer heated his nerves and he dipped his head back down. His lips landed on that intricate black ‘R’ and he licked and sucked his way down the tattoo, his left hand danced lightly over abs as Jisung squirmed. The mattress lifted as Minho got up which left Jisung’s mouth free to babble his pleasure. Felix shuffled backwards on his knees as he went he followed the word to the final 'E', mouthing at the sharp hipbone.

“Look at you, Lixie,” Jisung panted. “Hair all over the place, pretty and pink with your ass in the air like that.”

“Humph,” Felix bit down firmly in retaliation, making Jisung moan. Then he squeaked as a hand landed on his ass.

“Sungie’s right. So pretty.” Minho purred as he settled behind him. Felix’s breath hitched as Minho's hands wandered everywhere from his cheeks down to caress dangling balls and cock.

“Hold on a minute. We need to reposition.” Minho's hands pulled at his shoulders, lifting him. “Come on Sungie, slide down further so you’re mostly flat.” While Minho tugged Felix to scoot back, giving Jisung room, Jisung slid himself down, thighs spreading wide on either side of Felix.

“Pillow.” Minho handed it to Felix and Jisung lifted his hips. Felix slid the pillow under Jisung as Minho rested his chin on Felix’s shoulder like he’d done earlier and surveyed the arrangement. He pressed a kiss to Felix’s flushing ear. “Look how hot and desperate he is. Give that pretty cock some attention and then get him ready for you.” Minho handed him a bottle of lube and Felix swallowed a suddenly dry mouth and felt his cock stiffen further at the idea. At this point the plan was clear and being the filling between partners was one of Felix’s favorite places to be.

Felix took the bottle, ran his other hand over a firm thigh and dropped his voice to a rumble. “You seem to be in a particularly exposed position here, Han-ah.”

Jisung shivered and his cock twitched against his stomach but tipped his head with a smirk and a wink, answering cheekily, “So I am. Whatcha gonna do about it?”

“Don’t know yet,” Felix dragged a finger from the dripping crown to the base of Jisung’s cock, making him shiver. “What do you think, hyung?” he asked since Minho hadn’t moved yet.

Minho answered, his voice light over Jising’s whine, “Mmm well he has been mostly good so you should see if you can help him out. Maybe give the pretty cock a kiss?” Minho pulled back, taking his heat and weight away; Felix missed it immediately.

Chuckling, Felix leaned back down, bracing himself on his left elbow, and without warning sucked the sensitive crimson head into his mouth. Jisung shouted and his whole body spasmed. Felix paused, letting Jisung calm by just holding there, watching his stomach twitch under the streams of hot breath, as he panted through his nose. Jisung's salty taste filled his mouth and Felix rolled his tongue over the smooth tip, dipping into the small hole and swirling round the ridge.

“Ready Yongbok-ah?”

Felix hummed which both answered the question and made Jisung writhe. Hot hands cradled his ass for a moment before spreading the cheeks. Then Minho’s shoulders brushed the backs of his thighs and Felix trembled in anticipation. Minho licked a hot stripe over his hole and Felix groaned, sinking lower on Jisung’s cock which produced another exclamation.

Gathering his wits before Minho dove in again, Felix got a finger slicked up and glided it over Jisung’s tight opening, dipping just the tip in and out. Then Minho laid into his hole, licking and poking with his tongue until the muscle loosened, firm hands holding him still as he twitched and trembled and moaned, pleasure shooting up his spine and down his thighs. Sucking in air, Felix gulped around his mouthful and then slid his finger inside. Jisung bucked beneath him, whining out half-formed words. He pumped his finger several times, spreading lube into the soft heat.

His heart picked up as the intensity spread and he felt new sweat breaking out along his back and forehead. It was getting hard to focus with Minho’s relentless attention and then suddenly he felt a slender finger slide in deep along Minho’s tongue and for a moment he lost all sense of purpose. But Jisung was leaking salty slick into his Felix’s mouth, hard and hot, so he pulled himself together and fumbled a second finger into the slowly loosening hole.

The warmth from Minho's body retreated as he pulled back, then hot hands wrapped around both cock and balls at the same time as a cold stream of air landed directly on his overheated hole. Felix jolted, fingers popping free and his head came up as he cried out; Jisung’s cock fell out with a wet slap and Minho laughed.

“Are you getting him ready Yongbok-ah? Not too distracted?” Minho asked teasingly.

Felix dropped his head back down onto Jisung’s stomach to look upside down along his torso and watch as Minho slid his hand up and down Felix’s hard shaft, gathering the pre-cum as it welled from the head and spreading it all over. Pleasure shivered through him, thoughts slowed into a hazy syrup until a slap landed on his ass.

“Come on Bokkie,” Minho speared his tongue into him again, “Finished getting Sungie ready.”

“I’m ready,” Jisung declared desperately from above. “I need you in me right now!” Hands tugged impatiently on Felix’s hair.

Felix swallowed and panted, washing hot air over Jisung’s visibly throbbing cock, “Almost, hyung. Just another minute. I’m doing it.”

With renewed determination Felix got three fingers dripping with lube and slid them into Jisung thrusting and scissoring gently to coat and stretch. At the same time, three of Minho’s fingers carefully worked their way into him. To prove he was doing a good job, Felix ran the pads of his fingers over the small bump of Jisung’s prostate causing him to thrash and beg to be filled. A moment later a similar bolt of lightning shot through Felix as Minho found the same spot and Felix gave a guttural moan.

“There! You’ve done a good job. Both of my boys are ready.” Minho praised as he pulled his fingers free. “Okay, up now, slick yourself up and give him what he needs.”

Felix made affirmative noises, his brain too on fire to form words in any language right now. He sat up and did as told, lube glistening on sensitive red skin as he spread it. He scooted forward, just touching the tip to the shiny hole and paused. He looked up and met Jisung’s fiery gaze. “Alright?”

“If you don’t get in me in the next ten seconds I swear I’ll…” Jisung broke off with a groan as Felix slid in.

He was surrounded by wet scorching tightness that ripped a matching groan from his throat. He thrust once, then twice, hips almost beyond his control until a hand between his shoulderblades flattened him onto Jisung’s chest. Jisung promptly wrapped his arms around Felix whispering deliciously filthy things about how good he felt but most of his attention was taken up by Minho and his slow, inexorable intrusion. Minho’s thick cock filled him to the brim, wringing high gasping cries from him.

Finally Minho bottomed out and he stilled, giving Felix a long moment to find and engage what little was left of his brain. A stream of cool air tickled his ear. “Love you Bok-ah.”

The pressure on his back lifted and Felix braced himself up on his elbows, Jisung loosening his grip only a little. Then Minho pulled his hips back, the long slow drag igniting every nerve inside him and when Minho thrust back in he pushed Felix into Jisung.

Everything was on fire, their cries a chorus of pleasure in unexpected harmonies as they found their rhythm. Felix tried to aim for Jisung’s prostate but couldn’t be sure of his success as they writhed together. Minho had a firm grip on his hips, pressing sucking kisses to his shoulders as he thrust. His angle and control were better and he nailed Felix’s prostate repeatedly.

Soon nothing was left but sensation, the growing uncontrollable burn of pure ecstasy from the front and the back at the same time. The pace and intensity wasn’t sustainable, everyone too worked up and on edge to last long.

With the last of his sanity, Felix felt Jisung wrap a hand around his own cock and angle his hips so Felix’s thrusts brushed that special nub. Jisung managed to pull twice and then screamed, convulsing, cock spurting, arms and legs twitching. His channel locked down on Felix’s dick at the same time as Minho hit his prostate again. The fiery wave crested and Felix howled and poured all his pleasure into the snug passage, clenching down on the hard cock within him. Distantly he could hear Minho also reach his peak, the feeling of Minho spilling inside just adding another spike of joy.

He hung over Jisung in a breathless haze for long blissful moments before he felt Minho carefully withdraw, hands on his hips helped to ease his softening cock free of Jisung and then tipped him onto the bed on Jisung's left. Felix let Minho move him, his mind an empty static, feeling his and Jisung’s chests heave in tandem. For a few minutes they all lay there until three sets of breathing quieted.

“That was amazing,” Felix mumbled into Jisung’s ribs.

“Dead but what a way to go,” Jisung mumbled back.

Minho leaned up on one elbow so Felix could see him, “Don’t let us get so wrapped up in life that we ignore you. We’re always happy to be here for you in whatever way you need.” Minho’s sweaty face was shining with sincerity and Felix nodded back with equal weight.

“I will, hyung. I won’t forget.” And he wouldn’t.

Forty minutes later after quick showers and a change of bedding they were back in bed, Felix in the middle again. Wrapped in Minho’s arms and cuddling Jisung, snug in the darkness, his heart was full of love and he was reminded that years ago it was not just here in this bed but here with all seven of these men that his heart had found its home.

The End