Chapter Text
It had been just over two years since Sherlock had jumped from the roof of St. Bart's. The time since had been hellish for John Watson. It was like being invalided out all over again. Suddenly he found himself all alone and without a purpose. In some ways it was worse than returning from Afghanistan because there was no 'going home' when his life was destroyed this time. All of London kept on living and John found himself on the outside, unsure if he even had a place without Sherlock. Some days he wasn't even sure he wanted a place in a world without his best friend.
It hadn't helped that he couldn't even talk to most of the people he'd considered friends prior to Sherlock's “death” without getting either angry or depressed. He had been really and truly alone when Mary had found him.
Mary Morstan was a sensible woman. She could see past John's broken exterior to the kind and loyal heart held within. They met at a singles mixer that John had gone to with Lestrade to celebrate his divorce. After a few dates John finally told her about Sherlock.
Mary had experienced loss in her own life and the two bonded. They were far from a perfect couple, but neither much fancied being alone any longer. After much coaxing she convinced John to move in with her. It was a comfortable arrangement, but on those nights when John was feeling especially melancholy and honest with himself he knew there was something missing.
He'd broached the subject of marriage and children before, jokingly of course. Now that they were living together it seemed the next logical step. Mary apologized profusely, she had no interest in being a mother so late in life and marriage just wasn't a priority for her. John had accepted that, John had gotten used to accepting things since Sherlock's fall.
When Harry had told him that she and Clara were giving it another go, John had been outwardly pleased for the two of them. Only a complete berk hates people for being happy, but that didn't stop John from resenting all the second chances his sister was given.
When she invited him over for dinner he was sure it was to announce that after only a few months they had decided to retie the knot and make their relationship official again. John had put off the invitation far longer than was socially acceptable. Mary had offered to accompany him, but John didn't see fit to subject her to his sister for an entire eventing.
After a long tube ride and a brisk walk he found himself knocking at the flat Harry and Clara shared. Clara opened the door beaming at him.
“John! You made it, come in, how are you?” She asked, ushering him inside. Clara had dark curly hair, brown eyes, and an honest smile. It was easy to see why Harry was so taken with her.
“Doing well, thanks,” John said returning her smile.
“There you are little brother, right on time,” Harry called out from the kitchen. She entered wiping her hands on a tea towel before giving John a hug.
“Food's almost ready, keep Clara company a minute while I get everything set up,” Harry said. She slipped back into the kitchen quickly.
“You're letting her cook?” John asked raising an eyebrow at his sister-in-law.
“Barmy isn't it?” Clara said with a laugh, “Who would have thought our Harry would ever settle down and be domestic?”
“I can hear you two!” Harry called, causing them both to grin.
Harry had actually made a passable lasagna, much to John's surprise. When he'd left for basic training his sister's culinary skills began and ended with toast. She'd come a long way since she'd cleaned herself up after the divorce.
After finishing dinner they had a very lovely pudding of rhubarb crumble (which Clara admitted to making) and sipped some tea. All in all it was probably the best John had eaten in weeks and he made it a point to say so, much to Harry's delight.
“So, you said you had some news?” John asked. He readied his 'I'm happy for you' smile even as he felt something in his stomach shifting uncomfortably.
Harry's eyes lit up at this and she pulled Clara close.
“We sure do, Clara and I are hoping to be expecting,” Harry said. John gave a confused half smile unsure what to make of this news. He turned to Clara for an explanation.
“What Harry means,” Clara said, rolling her eyes playfully at John, “is that we've decided we'd like to have a baby.”
Maybe John shouldn't have been so surprised, but he really hadn't been expecting this.
“Wow, really? How? I mean congrats, obviously,” John said with a blush. He gave them both a hug.
“Clara's convinced me that it's time we started our family,” Harry said. She held Clara's hand fondly.
“Well, we're not getting any younger, especially Harry, “Clara teased, “and things are going so well it just seems like the next logical step.”
“Fantastic, really I'm thrilled for you two,” John said, “If I'd had known you were gonna make me an Uncle I'd have brought you both flowers or something.”
“Actually,” Harry said grinning, “There is something you could do for us.”
“Um sure, what do you need? Bit early to ask for babysitting, but I'm keen,” John said.
“This is something a bit more immediate actually, and a little personal,” Clara said with a blush.
“Right, gonna let me in on it then?” John asked.
“We'd like you to be Clara's donor,” Harry said.
“If you need time to think it over we completely understand of course,” Clara interrupted quickly.
“Your donor?” John asked, momentarily confused before the implication sunk in, “Oh, OH.”
“We thought about adopting, but this way it's the closest thing to us being able to have a baby together,” Harry said holding Clara closer.
“Like I said John, if you need some time to think it over or talk with someone first we'd understand. We know it's a big deal,” Clara said.
“Not that you have anything on right now anyway,” Harry said. Clara shot her a stern look.
“What? We thought it might be awkward if you and Mary were thinking about making things official, but I think we've all given up waiting for that to happen,” Harry said.
“Sorry, what?” John asked, frowning.
“Harry, don't be rude when you're asking someone for a favor,” Clara said.
“John's fine Clara, he's gotta be used to it by now. All I'm saying is that he might as well help us out since he's doesn't have his own commitments getting in the way.”
“Cheers,” John said, his face reddening.
“Oh come on John, don't be that way,” Harry said.
“What way is that Harry? Not instantly ready to do everything you ask just because you've managed to get your life in order, finally?”
“You won't have to raise the baby John, just leave a little something in a cup and the doctors take care of the rest. Honestly, you'd think you never had a wank before.”
“Harry!” Clara shouted sternly.
“I should go, thank you both for a lovely dinner,” John said, standing to retrieve his coat. He should have known things were going too smoothly. Harry never could keep her foot out of her mouth for long when the topic of his personal life came up. Part of the reason he'd refused to flat share with her when she left Clara after he'd returned from the war.
“Just because you don't want a family doesn't mean you have to be a prat about us wanting one,” Harry shouted.
John's nostrils flared as he rounded to face his sister.
“Who says I don't want that? You'd never bothered to ask have you? Wasn't about you so it wasn't important. Maybe I do want a family Harry, one that doesn't make me feel horrible whenever I'm with them,” John snapped as he swiftly walked out of the flat, slamming the door behind him.
He made it two blocks before he heard someone calling his name. He considered ignoring it and speeding up, but he was already walking as quickly as he could without breaking into a sprint and he realized that it was Clara calling after him, not Harry. With a resigned sigh he ran a hand through his hair and waited for her to catch up to him.
“John, I'm so sorry,” Clara said, panting from jogging after him.
“Don't apologize for her Clara, you're not supposed to have to do that anymore,” John said. He took a deep breath and met his sister-in-law's eyes.
“You know she didn't mean anything by it, she was just worried you'd say no and didn't think about anything else,” Clara said.
“Is that really the kind of person you want to raise a child with?” John asked.
“John, I know how Harry is, she's not malicious, well not when she's sober and she is sober now John. I've wanted this for so long, I just didn't want to wait anymore and have everything fall apart again,” Clara said.
John frowned, he knew all too well about having life fall apart. Sometimes it felt like that was all his ever did. Clara was a good person, and despite his strained relationship with Harry, John knew that Clara was good for her. She'd also make an excellent mum.
“Look, I don't expect you to agree to it right now, not after that, but just consider it, please, for me?” Clara asked giving his arm a squeeze.
“Okay,” John replied.
“Thank you John,” Clara said. She turned to head back to the flat.
“No, Clara wait,” John called. She turned back to him, her dark hair fluttering in the breeze.
“I meant, okay I'll do it,” John said.
Her face lit up instantly. “Oh John, really?”
“Yeah, you'd make a great mum Clara, you should have that chance. Even if Harry doesn't deserve you,” John said, his sad smile taking the sting out of his words.
“Thank You!” Clara yelped, enthusiastically hugging him. “Oh, John you absolutely the best man in the world. I can't tell you how much this means to me. You're going to be an amazing uncle.”
“I hope so,” John said, his smile growing wider at the thought.
“I should get back and tell Harry the good news,” Clara said, when she finally released him. “I'll call you next week and we'll start working out the details.”
“I'm looking forward to it,” John said.
“Thank you so much,” Clara said with a wave as she darted off back home.
John watched her go as a feeling of melancholy set in. Maybe this was all he'd ever have. Maybe it would have to be enough. He went home and told Mary the news.
Clara had taken care of the the particulars of John's 'donation' within a few weeks of their dinner. She had called him a month later to let him know that she was officially pregnant. He'd been invited over again to celebrate, but John had politely declined. He still wasn't keen on spending any more time in Harry's presence than absolutely necessary, even if she had apologized for the incident.
Fortunately, Clara had taken it upon herself to serve as the go-between for them and texted John pregnancy updates every-so-often. Even so John was surprised when she called to invite him to the ultrasound. This time Mary hadn't offered to come along.
He was a bit nervous about being there for such an intimate thing, but he had to admit to some curiosity about the life growing in his sister-in-law's belly. Especially considering he had some part in putting it there, however clinically.
Harry and Clara met him at the clinic one bright afternoon. Clara was barely showing, but the way Harry fussed over her left no doubt that the tiny bump was anything other than an expected baby. John briefly wondered what the other expectant parents made of the three of them going back to the exam room together. At least Clara's doctor was already filled in on all the particulars of who John was and why he was being included in the proceedings. John didn't fancy having to introduce himself at the uncle/father of his sister-in-law's child.
John stood by Harry while the doctor spread gel over Clara's stomach then began searching with the ultrasound transducer. The grainy image on the screen was difficult for even John to make any sense of and his sister was positively lost. Fortunately the technician was quick to point out all points of interest, including what she claimed was an arm and the side of a leg. Once all fingers and toes were accounted for she popped the question, “Do you want to know that sex?”
“Yes!” Harry said, gripping Clara's hand tightly.
“No, Harry, I thought we wanted to be surprised?” Clara admonished.
“That was before it was right there in front of us, how can you not want to know?” Harry asked.
“What do you think John?” Clara asked with a sigh at her lover's impatience.
“Oh no, don't drag me into a domestic. I'm just glad it's all in one piece,” John said with a smile, realizing that he actually meant it.
Harry begged and Clara giggled at her antics before finally relenting. That night John returned to Mary and told her that Clara and Harry were expecting a son. John noted the sadness in Mary's eyes as she congratulated him. When he asked about it she assured him everything was “fine.”
Four months later, Sherlock Holmes returned from the dead.