Archive of Our Own

Your name is D Strider and your little brother is such a pain in the ass. He’s lucky he’s cute. 

You were entirely to blame for the ensuing argument this time, it’s why you’re taking verbal lashes like a champ, not even retaliating, just letting Dirk get it all out of his system. You are D Strider; cool, calm, collected. 

The two of you had been standing in the main hallway since you’d not so politely asked his guest to leave and now, rightfully so, he was really letting you have it. 

You know his anger is justified. He’s just a teenager, trying to make friends was already enough of a hell without you adding in a special flavor of the cost of Strider fame. You frown a little, wondering if he’ll ever lose steam. Dirk’s turning red from just shouting at you, there’s combinations of obscenities that he definitely didn’t learn from you spewing from his mouth. 

After a moment you sigh, regarding him with a look over the shades that remained fixated on your face. You can’t see Dirk’s eyes, either, because his are also on, but you don’t need to in order to tell he’s still fueled with fury. His chest is heaving and you have to look away sharply as your gaze almost does a highly inappropriate thing, stopping yourself from giving the once-over. 

That was your nineteen year old brother, you had basically raised him, what the fuck was wrong with you? Sick. So was being related to a Hollywood celebrity. You’d just rather Dirk learn that now instead of later, by personal experience of being emotionally manipulated. 

He’s finally stopped shouting, but the look he’s fixated on you is bordering hatred-- at least in this moment. You hate having to be like this, becoming the bad guy, almost worse than you hate the idea of him learning first-hand just how cruel people can be. This was how it had to be. 

Dirk was free to make friends, you never minded that, but you also knew that your definition of trustworthy and his were vastly different. Someone had to be the bearer of bad news and, today, that was you. 

After a long beat of silence, you finally exhale. The age seeps into your facial features and you probably looked a little close to exasperated, but, this was how you figured to best handle things. 

It certainly had nothing to do with your own possessiveness over Dirk, not at all. Even if part of you was ready to admit that, you were surely not ready for this to be how he found out. 

It was finally your turn to say something though. You’re finding the words are really hard to form in this crucial moment, as if all your own reasoning vanished into thin air at the sight of just how indignant Dirk was getting. 

With a push of the shades a little higher, you finally figure out the only thing you can say. “That person may have been nice but they were giving you Oscar-winning performances of ass kissing, handed over on a silver plate. They had an agenda and I’m not sorry for being cautious.” Your arms folded over your chest, resolute as you attempt to hold ground but brace for more furious tirades. 

Dirk looks like he’s so done with you. “You say that about basically everyone.” he glares, unrelenting in his fierceness. You have no idea who he got that from, clearly. 

“Maybe everyone sucks.” You reason, shrugging like it’s a fact. He’s not impressed. You feel the air get even colder now, if possible. 

Dirk scoffs at you. “Stop tossing your own emotional baggage on me. Let me be the judge of people for myself. I don’t need a bodyguard.” 

You can’t argue with the fact that he makes a point and as a teenager you also would have agreed, vehemently. You sigh. “I won't do it again.” You send him a small smile like it’s a peace offering. He exhales long and hard. 

“You will, though. You’re kind of insane about it, actually.” Another shake of his head like he’s giving you his ultimate disapproval. He probably is. Who was the adult here again? 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were jealous.” The laugh he gives you was so bitter you can taste it on your tongue. It still doesn’t stop you from putting your foot in your mouth. 

“Maybe I am.” 

Finally, the look of annoyance fades from his features and he glances up at you now, with a combination of dumbfounded and what almost looks…. hopeful?  

“What?”

You backpedal so hard you swear it leaves carpet burn in your mind. Retreat, panic, reset, wipe the slate-- CUT!

“I mean who else am I going to talk to?” You shrug one shoulder. You never let him see how you almost wiped out mentally just then, the panic hidden behind those damn shades like a secret. You are the epitome of; chill. 

Dirk doubles down on the incredulous look he’s giving you. He’s not falling for it. Time to deploy the last tactic; distraction. 

“You wanna order pizza for dinner?” Like it’s another Tuesday night and you didn’t just drop a bomb. Smooth of you.  

You absolutely cannot under any circumstances let Dirk Strider know that you have a crush on him.