Archive of Our Own

It happened just over a month after Louis finally came back to him.

It'd been the last stop on his tour in New Orleans. Lestat had been killing time with the band at his house when he'd heard the thunder of helicopter blades approaching. He'd thought nothing much of it at first but they'd only gotten louder—loud enough that even his mortal friends had noticed and turned their heads.

"Is someone trying to land that thing in your backyard?" Alex had asked.

Lestat hadn't stuck around long enough to answer him. After the way their last meeting had ended, neither he nor Louis had wanted to keep up the pretense then. There hadn't been any attempt at playing it cool: no small talk, no ribbing, no joking around. Louis had come right for him the fastest way he'd known how. As much as Lestat had been telling himself not to allow that ugly beast called Hope to rend him apart, he hadn't been surprised when Louis had expressed his desire to return to him.

What he had been surprised by was Louis's demand he abandon the show.

Preposterous to think it at first—Lestat had told him as much, but Louis hadn't backed down. He'd professed all manner of things with an emotional honesty Lestat hadn't known him capable of. Secrets that were known by anyone who'd read the book, secrets only that they were unknown to Lestat before the hordes of grabbing hands and faceless camera flashes spilled them at his feet. Secrets that Lestat had hoped to hear for so long that his hope had grown to a size he could no longer bear on his own. Secrets that Lestat could scarce believe he was hearing, secrets that even Louis himself seemed surprised to be sharing.

It'd been too much at once. Lestat hadn't been able to think, to really consider what it was that Louis had asked of him. He hadn't the clarity of thought to consider his mortal friends' feelings or the repercussions of giving Louis what he'd wanted. He'd never been capable of that. If he had, they would not have fought so much, perhaps. But then they might not have lasted the short time they had, either.

They would also have never had a daughter.

But Lestat hadn't been thinking about any of that at the time. He'd been thinking only about how open Louis's face had looked, soft and affectionate but with a hint of something wild and desperate hiding just beneath the surface. The one standing before him then hadn't been the man he'd met all those years ago nor the companion he'd lost due to his own cruel and selfish actions. The man before him then, the one who'd flown straight to him, that had been the vampire Lestat had been desperate to bring out of him when he'd first seen him pull a knife on his own beloved brother.

How, then, could he have possibly said no? How could he have rejected all that he'd ever wanted for the sake of waiting another day, when he'd already waited over a hundred years for it?

He hadn't told his mortal friends where he was going or even that he was leaving in the first place. He hadn't called his lawyer or his manager the next day.

He hadn't spoken to anyone but Louis for a month. It was as Louis wanted it, and though Lestat missed the company of his mortal friends, the fleeting but oh-so-valuable for it company of his mother, the lights and the music and the ravenous crowd calling his name, he was more than content to give Louis what he wanted.

And what Louis wanted was him.

"I wanted you dead," Louis said to him, holding the offensive book in one hand. "I wanted you all to myself."

The two of them reclined on the bed together in the nude. Louis had brought the book to bed with him to read certain passages aloud, to use them as stepping stones for the deeper thoughts he had to share. The kind of thoughts Lestat still couldn't believe he'd been blessed to receive from Louis's own lips.

"And do you now?" Lestat asked. "Want me both dead and all to yourself?"

Louis chuckled under his breath as he shook his head. "Can't have you to myself if you're dead, can I?"

"I suppose not."

"And truth be told, I didn't really want you dead then, either."

That came as quite a surprise.

"Then why did you do it?" Lestat asked, no longer hurt but wanting to understand. "You could have stopped her if you truly didn't want to. You could have simply ran away."

"Because I knew I would only come right back to you if I could."

Louis's voice was quiet, sad. Lestat regretted asking.

"I tried to revive you right after. Claudia wanted to finish you off and I wouldn't let her. She insisted, so I…"

Shame in his expression. Lestat couldn't imagine for what.

"I laid hands on her. I hurt her, scared her, just like…just like you had, when she threatened to take me away from you. Because she threatened to take you away from me."

Even just hearing about such an intense display of possessiveness would normally please him, but it only made Lestat sad to think just how much their daughter was correct when she'd said it had never been about her. She was a passerby who'd gotten caught up in their storm, battered and thrown this way and that, holding onto whatever she could to keep from being swept away entirely.

"I wanted you dead, I wanted you all to myself."

Lestat wasn't sure what possessed him to ask such a question out of nowhere, but it was out of his lips and hanging heavy and awkward between them before he could think to contain it.

"And if I were to go out and find someone else again?"

Louis had been staring at the sheets, but he sat up straight and looked over at Lestat when the question was asked. The dangerous gleam in his eye served as a warning Lestat chose to ignore in favor of chasing the thrill it gave him.

"If I were to decide you weren't satisfying me the way I wanted…"

There was danger in the way Louis moved towards him but he held fast.

"If I were to make myself another Antoinette…what then?"

Lestat choked on a gasp as Louis's hand wrapped around his throat, its grip tight and sure to bruise.

Louis's tone was low, dark, an ominous rumbling. "Then I would kill you and have you all to myself."

Lestat couldn't suck in enough air to ask him how he'd manage that, but luckily Louis saw the question in his expression and deigned to answer.

"I would wait until you were in bed together, at the height of distraction. I would kill him or her first, and it wouldn't be quick. It would be slow and agonizing." Louis smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was cruel and a little delirious. "I'd give you a real show, drench you in his or her blood, but I wouldn't let you enjoy it for too long. Because I'd come armed, and however much of your lover's blood you'd undoubtedly lapped up would be spilling out of you just as soon."

Lestat felt dizzy. Whether it was from Louis's words themselves or the speed with which his blood raced downwards, bringing him to full hardness, he wasn't certain. All he was certain of in that moment was that he'd never been so thrilled to be threatened before.

"How would you do it?" Lestat asked with great difficulty. "Would you slit my throat the same as before?"

"I'd slit your throat again but it wouldn't be the same as before. I wouldn't hold you close while I did it or cradle your corpse in despair. I wouldn't try and bring you back. I'd take your corpse back home and put you down in the basement, chain you up so that you couldn't go anywhere when you finally woke. I'd leave you there until you learned your lesson, only coming down once every few days to feed you…" Louis paused, tilting his head like he was considering something. "If you were good."

Lestat didn't know what exactly being good entailed in that scenario. It made no difference.

"I would let you," he said, easier thanks to Louis having let up on the pressure a bit. "There is…I'm not sure if you're aware, but iron—"

"A vampire's weakness. I'm aware," Louis finished for him. "In fact, I happen to be in possession of some iron chains. Just in case of…well."

He wet his lips, drawing Lestat's attention to his mouth. Lestat wanted badly to kiss it. Would Louis let him if he asked?

"In case of misbehavior?" Lestat asked instead, raising a playful brow at him.

Louis's grip tightened. Oh, how Lestat adored him.

A little roughhousing first. Nothing too serious, but enough for Lestat to feel for days. The kiss he chased was denied, which did have him a little disappointed at first, but he traded it for Louis's fangs in his throat. Once Louis tired of playing around, he led Lestat down to the basement.  There he showed Lestat where he kept his chains: locked in a box hidden in a secret compartment in the wall. Their hiding place had Lestat considering they might not have been made for play in the beginning, that Louis had brought them here as a weapon of self defense. The very idea of Louis having to defend himself made him angry but the anger soon left once Louis presented him with an additional set of chains, complete with iron shackles, attached to a metal pole running through the floor and into the ceiling.  But it wasn't the chains that caught his attention: it was the stained old mattress shoved up against the wall just next to them.

"Am I meant to lie on top of that?"

"Do you want to?"

Did he want to? Surely Louis didn't think a musty old mattress covered in various stains and smelling faintly of mildew ever presented itself as a valid sleeping or fucking arrangement to Lestat. But there wasn't a trace of humor or sarcasm on his face as he waited for an answer.

"Do you want me to?"

"I do. But only if you're willing."

Impossible to think he could ever truly be unwilling where Louis's wants for him were concerned.

He sauntered over to the mattress and sat in the middle of it, legs splayed wide open as he looked up at Louis seeking further instruction. Louis shifted the chains in his hands, drawing Lestat's attention to the thick collar attached to the end of them, and he felt a bit nervous despite his earlier enthusiasm.

"Lie down."

He considered protesting for no reason other than to see how Louis might react, but he was much more curious as to what exactly he had in store for him. He lay down on his side without complaint, propping himself up on his right elbow.

"Not like that."

Louis laid the chains down on the floor gently, their soft clinking inspiring not just nervousness but a hint of something resembling anxiety. Lestat shoved that feeling to the side and allowed Louis to turn him onto his back with gentle but strong hands.

"Now raise your arms."

Lestat did as told.  Louis raised the chains dangling from the pole and opened the shackles before bringing them to close over his wrists.  The iron was cold and hard and though the effect wasn't so dramatic, he knew it was weakening him already. He knew that if he were to try and use any of his gifts that he would be unable to. Once those shackles were closed and locked with a small key he was at the full mercy of his companion and the largest restriction hadn't even been applied yet.

But rather than collar him, Louis seemed to have forgotten the chains he'd left on the floor.

"Are you not going to…?"

"Not right now," Louis said. "It would only interfere with my plans for you."

"Which are?"

Louis straightened up. For a brief moment, Lestat thought he meant to leave him. Instead he only situated himself further down the mattress, legs stretched out and splayed wide.  He set the key down somewhere nearby.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" he asked.

Lestat raised a brow at him. A bit of a strange question, considering their circumstances.

"Shouldn't that be obvious?"

Louis waited a beat before responding.  When he did, his tone left no room for anything but full sincerity. 

"I'll ask again: do you want me to fuck you?"

"Yes," Lestat said, the desperation in that single word surprising him. "Yes, I do."

"Then you'll need to prove yourself first."

Prove himself? What manner of game was it that Louis had them playing, exactly?

"And how would you have me go about that?"

"If you want me to pleasure you, you'll have to pleasure me first."

So he, what? Wanted Lestat to fuck him first? His options were a little limited with the way he was restrained, but if Louis meant to be on top he could provide as much pleasure as he needed and then some. But if that was what he meant, why move out of reach? Lestat pondered while Louis took his own cock in hand and gave it a stroke.

"Well?"

Lestat blinked at him. "You're too far away. You'll have to come closer."

Louis shook his head. "I'm not moving."

"Then…?"

"Use your head, sweetheart."

His tone wasn't belittling but Lestat felt a little offended anyways. He glanced over at the abandoned collar, remembering what Louis said about it interfering, and managed to put two and two together.

Pulling himself to a seated position was easier said than done. The chains were fixed to the pole about halfway up and didn't budge at all when he tugged on them. With the shorter length of the connecting chain between his shackles and the greater length of the chain attached to the pole, he couldn't lower his right hand enough for it to be of any real use to him in his attempt to push off of the mattress. He had to balance all of his weight on his left hand, which was closer to the pole, and even once he'd successfully pulled himself up, Louis was just out of reach.

"I can't," Lestat said. "You're too far."

"Pity. I suppose I'll have to get myself off, then."

Lestat huffed, mouth watering a little as he watched the movement of Louis's hand on his cock. If he could just shimmy forward somehow, he might be able to taste it…

The idea was degrading, but was allowing Louis to restrain him and render him powerless on a dirty mattress in the basement not degrading already? Lestat proudly threw his pride away and fought to get his feet under him. It took a great deal of careful maneuvering with his shackled wrists but eventually he managed to get both arms behind him and stretch out flat on his stomach so he could crawl forward a few inches like a worm at the feet of a God.

And oh, did he feel something like worship as he struggled to tilt his chin enough to gaze up at Louis's weeping cock.

He wanted to ask—no, he wanted to beg Louis move up just an inch. But he knew the game now, and he knew that the struggle was Louis's intent. So as much as it hurt him, he tugged as hard as he could until he was close enough that he could stick his tongue out and touch it to Louis's tip.

That first little taste of precum was so heady, so enticing, that it was easy to ignore the pain and tug even harder, stretching his arms out until they shook from the strain so he could swirl his tongue around the head. The fact that he couldn't get close enough to close his lips around it angered him but no matter how much the pain in his wrists and arms increased he never got close enough. The best he could manage was barely brushing it with his bottom lip. Another minute of straining and licking was all it took to make him beg.

"Louis, please! Just an inch, I beg of you. Come forward just an inch."

"Hmm, I don't know. I'm not very impressed with your performance."

"It's because you're too far!" Lestat whined. "I can't manage anything more with my wrists shackled like this!"

Louis clicked his tongue. "You'll just have to get creative. And quick, because if I finish myself first I won't be fucking you. You don't want that, do you?"

"No. No, I don't want that."

"Then you'd best think of something quick."

It was impossible to move forward any further. Lestat's arms were sore and he suspected his wrists were already bruised. If he couldn't get any closer to Louis like this, he would have to try another position. The only thing that made sense was flipping around.

Again, it wasn't easy pulling himself up. He imagined he must've looked ridiculous to Louis's eyes, shimmying backwards like a caterpillar hungry for cock. But Louis didn't laugh nor make any comment on the ridiculousness of his movements so he focused on getting his legs out underneath him until he could sit back and stretch them out all the way before scooting forward again, hopping a little, until his arms were stretched out above his head and he felt his little toe brush Louis's hand.

It was difficult to see in this position. He could only lean up so much with his arms stretched to the max, and with the iron sapping his strength it felt like his head weighed ten times as much as it normally did. But he felt pleased to see that he could reach better in this position.

It wasn't easy per se, but he did manage to get Louis's cock nestled between the soles of his feet. This wasn't something he'd done before so his first attempt was a little sloppy. Louis thankfully said nothing as he struggled to do more than just brush him and eventually he learned how best to rotate his ankles to allow for the range of motion he required. Not long after that he was confidently giving him a proper footjob, massaging his cock in a manner that must've been satisfactory at the least if the copious amount of precum leaking out was any indication. And it only grew easier for Lestat as said precum served to lubricate him, aiding the slide of his feet.

He'd been focusing most of his attention on his actions and what little he could see of them so he might have missed something, but when he did glance up at Louis's face from time to time, attempting to gauge his enjoyment, all he saw was a perfectly neutral expression. Seeing it made him uneasy, as Louis had always been so physically expressive in his pleasure if not vocal. It made him worry that he might only disappoint and thus fail to earn the proper fucking he'd been promised.

He knew it was just a game, that he could refuse to play and demand to be fucked immediately, but he didn't want to ruin Louis's fun. He would always put Louis's pleasure before his.

But perhaps Louis was already bored because he moved back without warning and stood. Lestat flexed his toes and rolled his ankles to try and work out the kinks in them, using that to distract him from the rejection he was certain to receive any second now. He kept his eyes down while Louis approached without a word.

Game over, then. Pity.

"I have a work call in eight minutes," Louis said instead. "You'll have to wait until I'm done."

Lestat looked up at him then, unable to keep the surprise out of his expression. "You're going to leave me like this?"

"Won't be too long. Can you be good and wait for—"

"Take me with you."

Louis raised a brow at him.

"I'll be quiet. And I can—I can do better than just now."

Louis looked like he wanted to refuse him still. Lestat worried he might, and that he'd be made to wait in the dark, alone, but then Louis hummed, tilting his head to the side like he was considering it.

"You'll have to stay completely silent. You won't be able to move at all, either. Even if you're doing your best not to, you'll end up making some kind of noise if you do."

"I can do that."

"Alright then. Show me what you've got."

Louis retrieved the key from wherever he'd left it and unlocked the shackles. When Lestat stood, Louis presented him with the collar.

"You let me put this on, you follow my every word without question. You do as directed. You don't talk back. You don't speak first unless spoken to."

Lestat didn't much like the look of it, but he wanted to please. He stared at it for about ten seconds before making his decision: lifting his hair out of the way and baring his throat to allow better access. As soon as the collar was closed and locked around his neck he could feel the ultimate loss of power. Louis's rules weren't necessary; he could force Lestat to do whatever he wanted while he was restrained like this, weak as any mortal.

He saw the subtle twinkle in Louis's eye and knew it for what it was. A good decision made.

"Come."

Louis led him to his office. Lestat took one look at the space under his desk and understood exactly what was expected of him. He meant to get into position as soon as Louis gave him enough leeway to do so but Louis held him close, keeping most of the chains wound tightly in his other hand. He brought Lestat with him behind the desk and sat, tugging abruptly on the chain and making him fall to his knees.

Even as he let most of the chains fall to the floor, he still kept one hand tight on a short length of it so Lestat couldn't go far. He scooted his chair forward, forcing Lestat backward, until they were both situated in the correct position.

Maybe if Lestat weren't so thrilled to finally get the full length of him inside his mouth, he would think it a little strange that Louis was joining a work call completely naked. But then no one in the call mentioned it as they greeted him nor after the meeting truly began so perhaps holding video calls while shirtless was a normal occurrence for him.

Louis wasn't quite as big as him, but he was big enough that most would certainly choke if they tried this without experience. Lestat was not most and thus he swallowed around Louis easily, casting aside even the need to breathe as he quickly adapted to the obstacle in his throat. Just sitting there and not choking was easy; the hard part was not moving. The longer he sat there under the desk with his nose buried in Louis's pubic hair and his cock buried deep in his throat, the more the urge to swallow grew.

Louis had told him he couldn't move at all. Though even he had taken that to mean outward movements and not inner ones, it would make a sound if he gave in and swallowed again. However small that sound might be, he didn't want to disappoint. He needed some kind of distraction.

He tried listening to the call first. Numbers and more numbers and bigger numbers, so many numbers that it grew boring very quickly. He tried to listen in to Louis's heart beat before remembering that even his senses were dulled by the iron. He was salivating badly and there was nowhere for that saliva to go—the sensation of it pooling at the bottom of his mouth was almost unbearable. He had to swallow.

He waited until someone else was in the middle of a particularly boring monologue to do it. It didn't provide him any real relief considering the blockage and he got uncomfortably close to gagging a little (and thus rendering his need for air immediate) but it did satisfy the urge temporarily. He thought maybe he'd been forcing himself to suffer for no reason as Louis didn't immediately interact in any way, but as soon as the female speaker was done with her monologue, Louis excused himself and then reached down to grab a handful of Lestat's hair.

"You do that again, you're going back in the basement. You hear me?"

Lestat could feel his heart thumping against his chest in reaction to the threat. His eyes stung both from the discomfort of having Louis buried in his throat and from the pain of him pulling roughly on his hair before abruptly dropping it altogether.

Louis apologized as he resumed his call and Lestat fought genuine tears as a stray piece of hair Louis dislodged settled over his nose and tickled him. If only he wasn't eternally barred from Louis's mind and could beg him to at least brush it away!

With the instinct to swallow mounting again and nothing else to distract him, Lestat let his thoughts wander. He thought about what Louis must be getting out of this, how much self control he was showing by not reacting to the wet heat of Lestat's mouth at all. He thought about Louis fucking him later, hopefully right after the call, and he thought about Louis telling him he'd done well.

That was all he wanted, really. He didn't care that much for the chains or the struggle. There was some thrill to be had in Louis ordering him around but what he was most excited for was Louis complimenting him at the end of it. If he were to pull himself free from Lestat right now and announce he couldn't fuck him after all, that he had another meeting he'd forgotten about, Lestat would be perfectly content with that so long as he told him he'd done a good job.

It was that thought that gave him the strength to hold steady, to ignore the urges and the discomfort, to focus on keeping as still as he possibly could until he entered a trance-like, peaceful state.

In that state he was neither vampire nor mortal. He was nothing but an object, a cock warmer, there with the sole purpose of providing pleasure. If Louis were to never move again, then neither would he. His actions depended entirely on Louis's. He existed only for Louis. He belonged to Louis.

Without Louis, he was nothing.

Lestat didn't know how much time passed before the call finally ended. He wasn't aware of it ending at all, only of Louis eventually moving. Out about an inch, then back in. Out and in, in and out. Lestat thought nothing of it. He was exactly where he was meant to be, doing what was asked of him. Not moving, not making a single sound. Letting Louis use him however he saw fit.

He still didn't react when Louis began to fuck his throat. What little movement happened only happened because of the strength of Louis's movements, too strong for Lestat to hold perfectly still against. He didn't fight it at all when Louis dropped the chain altogether and took Lestat's throat in both hands, gripping it tight and threatening to increase the pressure. He still didn't move when Louis followed up on that threat soon after, squeezing tighter and tighter until he began to feel dizzy, until he threatened to lose consciousness.

It was then that Louis suddenly let go and pulled himself free. Immediately Lestat felt strange and somehow wrong, that he could finally breathe again. He looked up at Louis slowly, waiting for further instruction while his head swam, until Louis reached for him and dragged him up to his feet before lifting him off the ground.

Lestat didn't know what to do without direction so he let his limbs hang uselessly while Louis carried him back downstairs and into the basement.

"On your stomach, arms out."

Louis sat him down on the mattress a little roughly, like he was in a hurry. Lestat did as requested without a word. He waited patiently while Louis closed and locked the shackles over his wrists again and only twitched a little when he felt Louis's tongue pressing flat against his hole shortly after.

"A little reward," Louis said before diving back in.

Was he going to say it? Lestat started breathing hard.

Louis pulled away again but the words didn't come yet. He spread Lestat's cheeks further apart with both hands and rutted up against his slickened hole a few times before pressing inside. Lestat wasn't properly lubricated but Louis's cock was soaked and thus his entrance went smoothly enough. He couldn't enjoy it the way he normally would. He still needed to hear Louis tell him he'd done well first—otherwise it was just another part of the job.

"I could do anything to you right now," Louis said. He pulled out until only the head was inside, then drove back in roughly. "And you wouldn't be able to do a thing about it."

He slapped Lestat's ass cheek hard. Lestat prided himself on not providing any kind of reaction still despite how unexpected and honestly quite painful it was.

"I could slice you up from head to toe." He dug his thumb nail into the flesh of that same ass cheek, only pricking him at first but soon increasing the pressure until it really burned. "I could have you for lunch. Bleed you dry instead of eating from the fridge."

He pierced Lestat with his thumb and dragged it, opening him up enough that the blood welled up and spilled over quickly, running down his ass cheek in thin rivulets.

"I could…" Louis struggled to speak momentarily, a little out of breath from how hard he was thrusting into Lestat, it sounded like. "I could drag you outside like this. On a chain, collared, for everyone to see."

He pulled on said chain sharply, forcing Lestat to raise his head. He pulled harder and Lestat tilted it back as far as he could, eyes stinging once again from the pain.

"I could fly you up a thousand feet in my helicopter and throw you out."

They weren't the words Lestat needed to hear. Distantly, he began to worry that Louis might still resent him for the powers he was only temporarily blocked from accessing. Because why else would he talk about dropping him from up high after so long?

"…anything. Speak up!"

Lestat had missed what Louis said entirely.

"Y-yes!" he choked out, taking a wild guess at what it was that Louis wanted him to say. "Yes, whatever you like. Whatever you need, Louis. You could—ah! You could kill me again if you wanted. I couldn't stop you."

He wouldn't stop Louis even if he could.

Louis growled, sitting back and pulling even tighter on the chain, forcing Lestat to bend back with it as much as possible.

"You belong to me," Louis said, voice strained as his thrusts grew even wilder. "Say it."

"I belong to you."

"Again!"

"I belong to you! I'm yours, Louis! Only yours."

Louis slowed to a halt, only grinding his hips against Lestat's ass before he moaned loudly and gave Lestat the first real evidence of his pleasure all night. He pulled out soon after, releasing his grip on the chain in favor of spreading Lestat's cheeks and burying his face in them, tongue probing at his stretched-out hole.

Lestat was suddenly exhausted. He was painfully hard as he'd been most of the night and the feeling of Louis eating his own cum out of him was pleasant (plus Louis still hadn't told him what he needed to hear), but he struggled to keep his eyes open. Louis made no more demands of him, engrossed as he was in cleaning up Lestat's hole, so he didn't fight the urge this time. He closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

He dreamed that Louis had done the things he'd said he could do: sliced him up, drank from him until there was nothing left, showed him off to the public, and even dropped him out of the sky. Unlike while he was awake, though, Lestat fought all of it. He tried to wriggle away from Louis as he cut him again and again, marking him so many times it felt like his skin was on fire. He tried to pull Louis off of him as he drank until he lost consciousness. He tried to hide at first, then to run, when Louis dragged him outside for strangers to gawk at—one particularly feeble elderly woman literally dying of a heart attack upon seeing Louis drag him naked out of a bush right in front of her. He begged Louis not to do it in the helicopter, saying he was sorry over and over again, his pleas falling on deaf ears before he was thrown out, wind whistling in his ears as he swung to and fro, chains clinking together loudly and whipping him all the way down, until he finally hit the ground…

And woke up in the basement.

"Louis?"

Lestat shot upright—or rather tried to, as he could only sit up so much the way he was restrained. He lost his balance and fell flat on his back.

"Louis?" He called out again, only to realize as soon as he did that Louis was nowhere in sight.

He was alone. He was chained up in the basement and Louis was gone. Louis left him there without a word, in pain, still chained to a metal pole and with no way to free himself.

"Louis!"

Lestat shouted for him, his voice cracking on the second syllable. His throat was so sore.

"Louis!"

Again, no answer. Even if he were on the second floor, Louis should've been able to hear him. Why wasn't he coming back? Did he leave the house? Or was he ignoring Lestat on purpose? Was he disappointed because Lestat fell asleep?

Did he fail some kind of test?

"Louis, please…"

It was difficult to see through the sheen of tears. The darkness shouldn't have mattered all that much to a creature with perfect night vision, but with the chains and the way his tears blurred everything, he felt just as frightened by it as he would've if he'd been human.

He curled up as much as he could on his side, squeezing his eyes shut so he could pretend it was just the back of his eyelids and not the darkness of a cold basement he'd been locked in. He tried not to cry but the tears just kept coming. He cried quietly at first, embarassed at the thought of Louis returning to witness it, but the more time passed without a hint of his presence the less he was able to hold back. He started screaming Louis's name again, pulling at his chains like he could break them if he just willed his powers to return.

He looked over his shoulder at where the chain connected to the pole. He didn't see any way of loosening it there but the shackles around his wrists were built to open and close. Surely if he pulled hard enough they would eventually give? He would likely break his wrists but it would be worth it to be free again.

It was just after he decided breaking his wrists was worth it that he felt a sharp pain in his right foot. He flinched and kicked out instinctively, surprised to feel his heel connect with something warm. He didn't know what to make of that until he heard a distinctive squeaking sound.

It was a rat!

He saw it when it came back for seconds: a big brown pest with sharp teeth and evil eyes. It lunged for his foot again and dodged when he kicked, latching onto his ankle with its wicked teeth. Lestat shouted, raising his leg to try and shake it off, but the damned thing held fast and only bit harder. He raised his leg again and slammed its furry little body against the basement floor but it didn't even react. He could've sworn he heard its bones crunching the third time but it just kept on biting him!

It wasn't until he felt a sudden, suffocating presence in the basement that the rat finally let go of him and scurried away. Lestat shivered, searching the darkness for the monster he knew was present, wishing it would either leave him be or end his suffering once and for all.

He couldn't go through that again. He would rather die.

Of course the monster chose that moment to finally approach and remind him what fear really was. Two dark eyes, darker even than the inky black of his cell he'd grown used to. A wide smile with too many teeth, all of them sharp as needles. Black nails reaching for him, soon to pull him even further into the darkness.

Lestat envied the rat. The monster didn't care for its existence. It didn't find the rat beautiful. The rat could scurry back to its hiding place but Lestat was utterly helpless at the monster's hands. The only thing he could do was beg.

"No, please!"

It was almost touching him.

He recoiled as far as he could, hiding his face and pressing back against the cold metal. He begged for mercy, for death, for God, and when he received no answer he called again to Louis.

"Louis, please! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Something warm pressed against his cheek.

"Lestat?"

Lestat gasped at the sound of his voice. Miraculously, the monster had disappeared. Louis crouched in its place with a look of concern on his face and a hand cupping Lestat's wet cheek. Something stirred on the floor behind him.

"Louis—"

Lestat tried to reach for him but he could only move so far thanks to the chains. He began to panic again, yanking hard despite the pain.

"Whoa, hey! Hey, it's okay. I'll unlock the—hey! Stop moving, you're gonna hurt yourself. You…oh, Jesus. Hold still!"

Lestat heard him speaking but the meaning of his words was lost to him in that moment. The only thing that mattered was that Louis was right there and he still couldn't reach him!

"Come on, I can't unlock the shackles if you keep squirming around! Les, baby, please…"

Lestat ran out of energy before long. The pain returned slowly at first while Louis fumbled with the key, then grew exponentially once his wrists were finally free. He surged towards Louis again as soon as they were, forgetting about the collar entirely, and only ended up choking himself.

"Fuck! I'm sorry, just hang on—"

He unchained the collar from the shackles quickly and finally Lestat was free to leap into his arms. Louis stumbled a bit but didn't drop him, sliding one hand under his ass and raising the other to cradle the back of his head. He said something else but Lestat couldn't hear him properly as he held on tight, sobbing uncontrollably once again.

Before long Louis began to move. Somewhere beneath the animal part of Lestat's brain that had taken over, he was relieved to finally be leaving the basement. But mostly he was just happy that Louis was back, that he had not abandoned him like he'd thought. It didn't matter when he went or why he left because he was back and holding him close again.

When his back hit the mattress and Louis tried to let go of him, he began to panic again.

"No! Please—"

He surged forward, throwing his arms over Louis's shoulders again. It caused Louis to lose his balance and fall face-forward on top of him, which was hardly unwanted.

"Les, I can't breathe," Louis mumbled. "Just let me—I'm not going anywhere, I swear. I just need to sit up. Can I sit up?"

Louis slid one hand up to his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Enough of Lestat's higher brain function returned for him to notice he was smothering him, pinning him tight with his face smashed against his chest.

"Oh. I'm—I'm sorry."

Lestat released him. Louis didn't move away entirely like he suspected he might, only lifting his head and sliding further up until they were eye to eye.

"Nothing to be sorry about," he said. "Not on your end. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I didn't think you would wake up so soon."

"Wake up?"

"Yeah, you…you fell asleep, and I wanted to bring you something nice to eat instead of a blood bag from the fridge. It was just twenty minutes ago."

Lestat stared at him. He flexed his fingers and hissed as the movement only reminded him how badly his wrists hurt.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you."

"Why did you leave me chained up?"

Louis broke eye contact with a grimace. "I thought…God, this is so stupid. I wanted you to be awake when I did it. I was gonna make you eat with the chains still on and then—" Louis paused, shaking his head before turning to look him in the eye again. "It doesn't matter now. I don't know what happened but I'm sorry. I won't ever do something like that again, okay?"

He raised a hand to card through Lestat's sweaty hair.

"You left me."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I thought I made you angry."

"Angry? How would you…what would I have to be angry about?"

"I don't know…I never know why you're angry with me."

Louis looked sad at that. Lestat couldn't imagine why—he was the one who never truly explained why he was angry. Maybe if he did, Lestat could've learned how not to make him angry.

"I'm not angry. I wasn't angry, I was just having fun. I liked having you submit like that. I wanted it to last a little longer. I should've realized you needed a break when you passed out."

Lestat wet his lips. "Did I…were you not satisfied?"

It was humiliating to ask but he had to know.

"Was I not…Lestat, I wouldn't have been so desperate to continue if I wasn't satisfied."

"But you didn't say…you never told me…"

He couldn't say it. He wanted to say it but the words just wouldn't come out.

"Never told you what?"

Louis stared at him with a deep frown, brows furrowed. When Lestat tried to sit up, he pushed him back down gently.

"What didn't I tell you?"

"…That I did good."

Lestat felt his cheeks heating up at the admission but Louis only continued to stare at him like he was waiting for something else. When nothing else came, he surprised Lestat by leaning in for a kiss. It was a sweet one, slow and soft, not at all what Lestat expected after the evening's activities.

"You did very good," Louis said when they parted. "Much better than I expected, actually."

Lestat blinked up at him. "But I messed up," he said. "And I fell asleep."

Louis chuckled at first but his expression grew dark again when he slid his fingers down Lestat's arm until he reached his wrists. Apparently the damage was bad enough that even he could feel it.

"You didn't mess up, baby. You were perfect."

Something warm fluttered in Lestat's stomach upon hearing that. He watched as Louis raised his severely bruised—God, it looked even worse than he could've imagined—wrist to his lips and kissed it.

"The one who messed up was me," Louis said, running a finger over his wrist lightly. It almost tickled. "You didn't do a single thing wrong. You were amazing."

Lestat squirmed happily underneath him. Louis smiled and kissed his wrist again before putting it back down and reaching for the other one to do the same. Lestat hoped his neck would get the same treatment and was rewarded with exactly that, unable to contain his pleased moan when Louis's lips pressed against the raw skin under his jaw.

He let himself get lost in it. His eyelids fluttered closed as Louis peppered his neck and face with kisses, slipped a hand down and underneath him to knead at the soft flesh of his ass cheek.  Despite the circumstances being worlds apart, he felt much like he did during Louis's work call.  It was this realization that made him snap out of it, fearing perhaps a little irrationally that something bad may happen again if he let it take over him again so soon.

Louis didn't try and stop him from sitting up this time.

"You feelin' okay now?" he asked, placing his hands in his lap.  He gave Lestat a little space but not too much, probably worried he might get pulled back in again.

"I..."

Lestat had meant to say he was fine when he opened his mouth, but as he looked at Louis sitting by his side with a placid mask on his face, anxiety brewing just under the surface, he changed his mind.

"I had a nightmare," he said.  "That's why I woke so quickly, I think."

"A nightmare?  Is that why you were freaking out when I came back?"

Lestat hesitated, weighing his options.  He worried Louis might be hurt by what he had to say but the soft, attentive expression on his face made him want to open up for once.

So he did.  

"I dreamed you were really doing all those things you said you'd like to do to me.  Back in the basement."

"The...slicing you up and whatnot?"

"All of that and more."

He didn't elaborate.  By the look on Louis's face, it wasn't necessary.

"I'm sorry I said all that.  You do know I would never...that I wouldn't actually throw you out of a helicopter, right?"

Lestat didn't know what to say.  He knew Louis wasn't being literal, that he was just expressing his enjoyment of the game they'd been playing, and yet...he would deserve it, wouldn't he?

"Lestat.  Please tell me you know I would never hurt you like that."

Lestat shrugged, giving him an awkward smile.  "I would understand if you did."

Louis stared at him with a mixture of horror and disbelief.  "You would...there's no if, Lestat!  I'm telling you I don't want to..."

Whatever he saw on Lestat's face must have convinced him to give up.  He put his face in his hands and sighed deeply.

Lestat began to wonder if telling him about the nightmare was a bad idea after all.

"That being said, I liked what we did tonight.  Outside of the being left chained to a wall part, that is."

He meant to placate Louis with that statement but unfortunately received no reaction.

"I liked ceding control.  If it were up to me, you would be the one with all the power.  I didn't ask for all this power.  I never wanted it.  I...I don't like what it's made me capable of.  I hate that I've only ever really used it to hurt the ones I love.  Even if that was never my intention."

"That's not what this was supposed to be about," Louis mumbled, voice muffled by his hands.  "This was supposed to be fun.  It wasn't supposed to bring up bad memories."

"I did have fun!  And I wasn't thinking about the past.  Not...not our past, at least..."

Louis lowered his hands.  "What do you mean not our past?"

Again, Lestat hesitated.  Things had already gone south, was it really worth spoiling the mood even further?

"Please don't leave me hanging.  If there's something you want to say, say it.  I won't be angry.  It won't...it can't possibly make things any worse now."

Lestat supposed he was right.

"The nightmare...it didn't end when I woke up.  Not really."

"How so?"

"I thought it was real up until now. I was convinced there was a giant rat in the basement."

"Uh...?"  Louis sat up straighter.  "A giant rat?"

Lestat nodded.  "It was very large.  It kept biting my ankle, but..." He pulled up his leg: no sign of rat bites, as suspected.  "It wasn't real."

"Why would you imagine a rat attacking you?"

"Because one did, once...in the tower."

"...Oh."

Louis looked like he was in danger of crying.  Lestat immediately regretted saying anything but he was too deep into it to back out.

"The rat ran off and then he came.  I couldn't really see most of him but I knew he was there as much as I knew the rat had been.  He was reaching out to me.  I was...I had been calling for you, ever since I woke up.  I started calling for you again when he came for me and I couldn't escape because of the chains.  I didn't expect you to actually come back then.  I thought I was back in the tower, because..."  Lestat lifted his arms and presented his wrists.

There; he said it.  Couldn't anyone accuse him of withholding anymore.

"I would say sorry again..." Louis started.  "But I've been sayin' it a whole lot and it doesn't change the fact that I made a stupid fucking decision that got you hurt for no good reason."

"It's okay, Louis, really..."

"Why didn't you tell me?  Why didn't you say, 'hey, I would like to play along, but can we use something other than chains?  Like a nice rope, maybe?'  You don't have to go along with everything I want, you know."

"But then I wouldn't have been truly powerless."

"Oh my God, Lestat!  It's a game!  It's role playing!  We could have just pretended they were iron chains!"

Lestat shrank back a little defensively at his tone.  Of course Louis noticed and immediately walked it back. 

"No, I'm not angry at you.  I promise.  I'm just...frustrated.  Frustrated because I made a dumb decision without your input, and frustrated because it's obvious now you've got a thing with chains you decided not to mention because you didn't want to upset me.  Well here I am, being upset anyways because you got scared and you hurt yourself and I never meant for that to happen."

"I didn't know I had a thing about chains when we started.  I didn't know you leaving me like that was a risk, either.  If I did, I would have asked you not to.  I'm sorry."

"No, I don't...I don't want you to apologize."  Louis sighed.  "The more we talk about it, the more inevitable it sounds like this situation was."

There was nothing he could say to that: Louis was right.  No matter how many options they were presented with, they always seemed to take the darkest path.

"Okay, I've got it."  Louis perked up suddenly and scooted closer, reaching for Lestat's hand.  "From now on, we're gonna talk more.  We're gonna ask questions and be more honest with each other.  We're gonna let the other know if we have an issue or don't like something, no matter how small of unimportant it might seem.  Yeah?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Doesn't sound like your heart's really in it."

"I don't know what to tell you, Louis.  I'm...I'm tired.  I was enjoying myself and then I was terrified and now I'm tired.  Yes, I'll be more open with you if that's what you want."

"It needs to be what you want too, Lestat."

"I..."

What did he want, exactly?  He took a moment to think about it.

He was glad the nightmare was over, that the rat wasn't real and that Magnus hadn't somehow sucked him back through time and space into his tower again.  He didn't like that he'd upset Louis by reacting so badly to an innocent mistake.  What he didn't want was to dwell on any of that or continue this conversation path and risk upsetting Louis even further.  He wanted to go back to a few minutes ago when he was just glad to be held, to be seen, to be...loved.

"I just want you to love me," he said.  "I'll do whatever you want.  I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen."

A dozen different emotions flickered across Louis's face, none of them staying for more than a second.  It was clear he felt the urgency to say something, to make some grand proclamation of some sort, but didn't know how.  He floundered, reaching out for Lestat but stopping halfway, arm hanging uselessly in the air.  Lestat took pity on him, closing the rest of the distance and threading his fingers between Louis's.

"It's okay, love.  I know.  You'll just have to show me how best you know how to."

Something in what he just said made Louis recoil like he'd just threatened to hit him.  Now Lestat was the one with his arm dangling pointlessly in the air.

"What did I say wrong?"

Louis's eyes were red.  Was he about to cry?

"Louis, please.  I don't know what I said but I didn't mean to upset you..."

"No, you don't need to do anything!"

Surprised by the volume as much as the interruption, Lestat forgot what he'd been about to say.

"You don't need to...you don't need to do anything but be yourself, Lestat, because I already love you just as you are."

Louis leaned in close as he spoke, placing a hand each on either side of Lestat's face.  This close, it was impossible to look away.  Just as impossible to mishear him, as was probably Louis's intent.

"You...you do?"

It wasn't really a surprise.  After everything they'd been through, all the memories they'd shared, all the times they wandered back to each other no matter how difficult the separation had been...it was obvious.  But despite all of that, Louis still had never said it out loud.  That he was doing so now, after all that time...that was the surprise.

"Always," Louis said.  "Always and forever.  And yes, even when you piss me off."

He kissed Lestat softly but with great enthusiasm.  Lestat returned that enthusiasm and then some.

"Can you...can you show me anyways?" Lestat asked once he'd managed to catch his breath.

"You want me to make love to you now?"

"Please."

He'd never wanted anything more.