Chapter Text
Months after first meeting
No matter how many times they idle away at the top of the buildings, Yuuji still can't get used to it.
I mean, who'd ever thought I'd ever float way up high just to see the moon so close?
Never in his wildest dreams.
But that didn't stop the niggling thought that has been in Yuuji's mind since he met the white haired man. The man who was now looking at him with fondness so severe, that Yuuji, who hasn't even eaten sweets, already feels the sugar rush.
He has a staring problem. He thinks, feeling the heat creep up to his neck.
He licks his teeth and just thought fuck it, and turned to man who hasn't stop staring at him without shame.
“You know, I've been thinking about this for a long time, and it's been bugging me. Don't take this the wrong way alright?” The other man tilts his head curiously, and Yuuji exhales. He feel his heart thump erratically in his chest.
“I feel like you’re looking at me through the eyes of another. So…what I'm trying to say is, who do you see when you look at me?” Itadori Yuuji says almost sheepish at the way he fumbled his words, he plays it off by laughing but it cut short while on the receiving end of Gojo Satoru’s all seeing eyes.
It didn’t help that his blindfold was off.
“Aa…you finally asked.” If Gojo was surprised by his question, he didn't show it. Yuuji was more surprised when he floated closer to his side before looking up at the stars.
I could never get used to that.
“Where do I even start…hm…” He sounded somber and it made Yuuji's heart twinge in pain.
He knew it was a sore topic. But he can't just leave this alone. They can't just skirt around it all the time when so many doubts had crossed his mind.
With him.
The man who froze when he saw Yuuji for the first time.
Like he was seeing a ghost.
Who do I remind you of? Whose presence am I filling up for? Yuuji thought it was bittersweet.
“Just tell me anything. Are they…not in contact with you anymore?”
Who are they? And why did they leave you?
Yuuji thought it was strange at first. But the man looked so sad back then that he wanted to comfort him.
Which led to their tentative friendship.
“Ah, it's not like that. You just remind me of someone I know, Yuuji-kun.”
He's calling me with that nickname again. Like we're not the same age.
“Is that so…” Yuuji looked skeptical. “I just hope that your friend was nice.”
Yuuji smiles freely, dropping the topic before looking down at the crowds in Shibuya. His mind wanders in the presence of his new friend.
As if sensing that Yuuji was not satisfied by his answer, Gojo continues on with a small voice.
“Yeah…he was really, really nice and pure for this world, Yuuji-kun.”
Gojo, no, Satoru, looked so fragile when he said it that Yuuji just knew. He reached out to touch Gojo's clammy hands and squeezed it tight to remind him he wasn't alone. Not realizing the privilege the man was giving him, with his limitless down.
“I'm here, Go—Satoru. I’m here for you.” And Yuuji meant it.
Satoru’s eyes shone in the moonlight with something he couldn't name.
“It's not every day that I get speechless, you know? But thank you Yuuji.”
He hears Gojo's voice crack but Yuuji doesn't dare stare more. He didn't want to make him feel like he was intruding on his moment. He chose to intertwine their hands together instead.
“You don't know how much your words mean to me.”
Months earlier...
Itadori Yuuji was on his way home from work from a Taekwondo gym when he felt an uncanny feeling.
A surge of energy.
One moment he was just staring at this phone, and then a second, goosebumps had covered his arms.
His eyes searched everywhere. From the billboards, the buildings and the frowning bystander by his left who gave him a stink eye as if telling him to mind his own business. So it was just him. His arms felt goosebumps before going away shortly like nothing.
Maybe deja vu? Yuuji scratched his head. And kept on moving with his eyes peeled.
There was nothing.
But it still felt like something was missing.
He never felt that way before. So certain that something was amiss. His heart yammered inside his chest.
And so he lets his eyes wander even more among the crowds rushing to their own destinations. It was noisy and loud with honks of cars and vehicles moving around him, and the people talking amongst each other and looking at their phones.
It must've been my imagination then.
So he was about to drop it and just consider it as nothing when his gaze rested on one figure a few feet away from him.
How come I just noticed him now?
White hair, taller than him by a few inches and blindfolded. For some reason, his hair stood out to Yuuji the most. It reminded him of something that he had CDs at home and almost snorted.
Is he cosplaying Kakashi? Looks a little wrong, but you do you man. He thought inwardly while observing the man who he realized was now observing him back.
His skin prickled. Like there was some sort of pressure before it dispersed away like nothing.
But why?
The surroundings around them became nothing but background noise.
The stranger was magnetic. One moment Yuuji just wanted to come home to his apartment and the second he just couldn't help but stare. Stare back at the stranger.
It's odd that he's looking back at me with that blindfold on.
Yuuji didn't notice how his feet started moving towards the stranger.
Like a moth drawn to flame.
He almost looked like he'd stopped breathing. Yuuji thought while starting to feel conscious about being under scrutiny. Not realizing he wasn’t faring well himself.
Their tension breaks when the white haired stranger, who almost looked like a statue with how still he was, pulled down his blindfold with what Yuuji considered as disbelief in the prettiest eyes he ever saw.
Yuuji.
Satoru couldn't tear his gaze away from him. He couldn't. Even if he had a choice.
The cursed energy flow was wrong. Familiar but seeing him here convinced him that this was not his world.
Yuuji. Yuuji. Yuuji. You're here.
His eyes burned and he didn't dare blink away.
The timing was cruel. Almost mocking.
The last thing he remembered was cursing out the elders for going behind his back before teleporting away in rage.
Making the inevitable happen.
It couldn't be…
Those bright eyes watch him with curiosity. And he could recognize those eyes anywhere.
Satoru realized he began shaking when the distance between them began to close.
It hadn't even been a full day since he saw that peach haired boy laid down on a casket with a serene smile on his face. Pale. Dead.
And now he's right in front of him. Warm and alive.
Safe.
His throat tightened. He couldn't breathe.
Why are you here when I just lost you?
Sky blue.
Wow.
Now that Yuuji was closer he could see it clearly. Yuuji was used to getting looked at like that in the past and he usually just gives a polite nod or ignores it, but for some reason, he was so drawn that he moved towards the stranger.
And do something.
Why do you look so sad?
He wanted to ask. But instead…
“Hello! Have we met before?” He flashed his biggest smile, wanting so badly to not scare the stranger away. In his chest stirs a desire to get to know them so fiercely, it shocked even Yuuji himself. But his smile came out more sheepish when he was greeted with silence.
I mean, a little too late to talk when I kept on staring at him huh?
But God, Yuuji was curious.
The man looked speechless. His mouth, opening and closing as if hesitant. He saw how his hand clenched on his blindfold like a lifeline.
Wait, is he actually blind? Am I bothering him for no reason? Yuuji scratched his neck in embarrassment.
"Yuu—"
But before he could fully hear the man's answer, someone just had to bump into Yuuji making his focus waver to the salary man who apologized to the one they were on the call with and at Yuuji whose mouth gaped when the next thing he knew, the man he was curious about was just gone.
“What the hell, man?”
In a blink of an eye.
“Sorry, I didn't realize you were there.” The older man who bumped into him says before leaving a dumbfounded Yuuji.
“What?” Yuuji looked left and right for that familiar figure but there was nothing.
He goes to the spot he saw the man last and swivelled around. But nothing. Not a sign of him.
Was that just a trick of light? Did I hallucinate? Yuuji furrowed his brows together before letting out a breath. But Yuuji knew what he saw. He saw that man crystal clear.
Fuck, maybe I do need some sleep.
He didn't know how to explain what happened.
So he let it go.
But the moment stayed in his mind for a few days until he went back to his daily routine.
Without the man with the white hair and eyes that reminded him of the sky.
Until he saw him again.
The same path. The same look.
“I wasn't sure you were real.”
The man says to him first in awe when he catches Yuuji’s surprised eyes. It made Yuuji's cheeks burn.
That's what I'm supposed to say.
“I am real. You can see me right?” Yuuji said tentatively, offering the man a smile before coming close to the man lest he gets away again. Similar to how the earth orbits the sun, Yuuji lets himself be swept in the man's magnetism. Like hell, he's letting him out of sight when that one time made him feel like he was crazy.
“If I wasn't real, I wouldn't be able to talk to you like this.” Yuuji murmured, watching the tall man drink him in. “I thought I hallucinated seeing you last time. What's your name anyway? I'm—”
“Yuuji. Itadori Yuuji. I know.” He says it like he couldn't even believe it. The blindfold was not there like last time, instead he was wearing black sunglasses that suited him a little too well.
How'd you know my name, stranger?
“I’ve never known someone like you, Yuuji.”
As if that explained everything. Yuuji was about to say something when he felt a hand rustle his hair. As if the man was memorizing him.
Normally, Yuuji would be alarmed. But there was something disarming with the man. Was it because of the softness in his gaze? Yuuji wasn't sure.
His hand is heavy.
And if he wasn't convinced that the man was real, then he was now.
Yuuji feels his cheeks burn at the looks they gain from the other people but remained still when he glanced at the man's contented face.
That was better than seeing those sad eyes from before.
“It's rude to touch someone you just met, you know. I don't even know your name.” Yuuji lets him touch without protest despite his words. He could feel the sadness radiate from the man in waves. And the way his beautiful eyes glossed over when he spoke.
“Ah right, sorry.” The man chuckles and Yuuji regretted saying those words when those warm hands retreated back to the man’s side.
“I guess you could call me…Satoru.”
Sa-to-ru. Yuuji tested the name in his mind. It was nice. Yuuji stops himself from blushing.
“Satoru, huh…”
The man gave him a winsome smile. Eyes crinkled with tears on the edge of his eyes.
Yuuji wanted to wipe them away.
“See you next time, Yuuji-kun.” He heard the man say cryptically before retreating back, to Yuuji's surprise.
Despite their better second meeting, Satoru still disappeared without a trace when some random girl blocked his sight to give him a maid cafe flyer. All it took was for Yuuji to turn away for a second, and he was gone.
What the hell…is he actually a ghost? Am I haunted?
Satoru.
At least he had a name now. It was strange, but the thought made him excited.
It made him occupied.
Yuuji tried to search the name up on the internet or ask his friends if they knew him. But nothing useful came up.
Not one of the Satorus he'd seen matched those beautiful eyes, as cliche as that sounds.
And it's not like he knew the kanji for his name. He better ask him the next time he sees him around.
If he sees him around.
Ugh. Why are you so mysterious? Yuuji groaned inwardly, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion.
He hears a sigh before a familiar figure taps him on the shoulder and gives him stern eyes that reminded him of a fox.
“You really should get some rest, Yuuji. Look at the bags under your eyes.”
Yuuji glared at the owner of the gym he was working at but he was cut off before he could respond. “I appreciate your passion here in the gym but the kids can deal without you for a day. You know that right?”
Geto Suguru, his boss slash friend just had to stop him from his workaholic tendencies just because of a few eye bags.
“Oh come on, Suguru. I’m fine.”
Like they weren't two beans in the same pod.
“I know that look. Don't argue with me.” Yuuji heard the tone of amusement in his voice and huffed with his arms crossed. Suguru just gave him the smile he gives to clients who don't realize they were being reprimanded.
Except he was totally sure he was.
Yuuji knew it, Suguru knew it. He would have been intimidated if he didn't know him any better.
Worrywart. Just cause you got kids… Yuuji grumbled inside his head.
He's been juggling between 3 jobs these days. One as a taekwondo instructor, two as barista and lastly, as a bouncer in a nightclub. He had to, especially when he got bills to pay.
Unfortunately, Suguru was not a fan of the way he spends his time.
“Come on, man. I just want to work. So let me. I have nothing to do at my apartment anyway. What do you want me to do?”
Retreating back to his lonesome apartment felt like the worst idea when that day was getting closer.
“Who said anything about not wanting a good honest worker? I'm just giving you a break idiot. So get some rest. Right now.” His voice was insistent, brooking no arguments. Not even Yuuji's stubbornness could get through him this time.
“You're annoying, Suguru.” Yuuji said, weakly while Suguru laughed. Not taking offense whatsoever.
“You know, Yuuji, you're the only one I know who doesn't like paid leave. Take a page out of Jogo’s book. He doesn't even go here most days. Who knows where he runs off to. I know you're gonna get your ass on the next job anyway. So go or I'm letting the twins out on you.”
Not the twins!
“Oh shut up, Suguru. You wouldn't dare.” He could imagine Mimiko and Nanako’s reactions and shook his head. Those two beat Suguru's motherhenning tenfold.
And if he felt flustered by Suguru, he already knew how he'd feel being scolded by two kids. Not when it was difficult to get close to them in the first place.
Can't let them get distracted from better things! And they're gonna call me lame again.
After doing everything to make them think he could handle himself? Yuuji can't afford that.
He was fine, damnit. It didn't matter if his therapist said otherwise.
“You know I would if it gets you to rest.” Suguru dropped his act and sighed tiredly. “I know your grandfather's death anniversary is coming up, so get some rest. You deserve it.” Suguru pats his shoulder before moving on to the next struggling newbie who looked relieved when Suguru stopped them from almost breaking a leg with those clumsy kicks.
You care so much, Suguru.
Yuuji couldn't help how the fight just left him at the other's concern.
“I mean I don't have a choice anyway.”
Yuuji muttered but it seemed Suguru heard him anyway.
Suguru just stands by his words way too strictly. And Itadori Yuuji just couldn't help but obey like a puppy.
“I'll come by later if I get the time. Don't get yourself into trouble.”
And that was the end of it.
Should I cook meatballs for the night? Suguru seems to like it…
Yuuji just got out of his last part time job and decided to walk to the nearest mini market to buy some ingredients for his meal when he saw a blink of white on his peripherals.
But when he looked there was nothing.
I must be really out of it.
He turns back not noticing a tall figure looking his way.
…
An hour later…
…
Yuuji finally finished his groceries when he received a call from a familiar caller ID.
‘kitsune-me tomo’¹
He feels his lips quirk before he taps the green button and mutters a quick hello while he fumbles with the paper bags on his arms.
“I can't come over right now. I have to fetch Mimiko from her friend's house. You can handle yourself right?”
Ah.
“Of course I can! I'll just watch movies at home. Don't worry about me, Suguru.”
Although I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.
He looked at Suguru's name call name with a sad smile.
But things aren't the same anymore. I don't want to worry Suguru…
Suguru's line grew silent for a few moments before saying, “Text me when you get home, Yuuji.”
“Okay!” He said in practiced cheer.
And finally their call ended.
And Yuuji couldn't help the feeling of loneliness that cloaked him when his screen turned black.
He was lonely.
It was obvious now.
Ah damn. Guess it's me, myself and I again.
His smile finally dropped with his hunched shoulders. But before he could dwell on those thoughts he sees the bus finally arrive from afar and decides not to feel sad about it anymore.
It's fine…We can't really hang out all the time now that we're adults.
Yuuji only stood up from the bench when he saw his bus turn up and he let his feet take him away to a vacant seat.
The air conditioner’s temperature seeped even more through his clothes despite him wearing layers.
I'm cold.
Yuuji thought he was used to it. But there were days like this…when he couldn't help but feel.
Just feel things.
He watches the scene change along with the bus and he couldn't help but think about how the years passed.
“You should enjoy your youth Yuuji. Don't waste your time taking care of an old man like me.”
Yuuji hadn't thought about his grandfather for a while.
He remembers that wizened old man scolding him for the minutest of details. But for some reason, he missed it.
He missed their home back in Sendai with his grandfather's bonsai trees. The small tended garden his grandfather set up with the cherry tomatoes and the zucchinis that he liked showing off to Yuuji when it was harvest season.
He missed the times when his grandfather told him stories about the olden days and his parents before they passed in that car accident. The memories of happier days.
Yuuji missed it so much.
But life had taught him that those things don't last. He came to accept that.
When the bus stopped at his next destination, Yuuji couldn't help but search for someone in the crowd.
Satoru.
I wonder where he is.
He wonders if he'd see the same man again. This was his route the last time he saw him.
But he saw no one who matched that figure.
Well, I did think it was just a coincidence seeing him twice. I didn't even get to ask his number.
He looked down at his phone and saw his search history in Winstagram and saw the Satoru written on them before sighing. His thumb was hovering with hesitation.
I don't even know you. Why am I thinking about you?
He thought before he deleted the search history and got himself seated on the train home.
His mental exhaustion finally took a toll on him, making his eyelids heavy…
And then…
….
...
...
...
….
“Yuuji…”
Mhm…
“Yuuji…wake up.”
Since when did I fall asleep?
He felt his head leaning on someone's shoulder and the train door opening—announcing its arrival in its destination.
Yuuji slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few more.
“Oh…shit. Did I pass by my station already?” He couldn't help but mutter loudly.
“Nah, you're just in the right place.” Said an amused voice. Yuuji yawned before nodding at them and said thanks. He let the older lady walk out first before taking his turn, with his paper bags balanced in one arm.
“Get some sleep next time.”
The train door closes before Yuuji even remembers thanking the person who woke him up in time.
When he looks back, he sees the blindfolded man flash him a grin, an apple from his grocery on one hand, before waving him a goodbye.
And Yuuji jolted awake. His sleepiness was all forgotten when the train finally left and he remembered what just happened.
Fucking hell.
Yuuji eyes the train station signage and his eyebrows raise even more.
How did he even know where to drop me off?
¹ Fox-eyed friend