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“What the fuck are the four of you doing out here?”
Jiang Cheng was beginning to regret a lot of decisions. Right now, he was regretting not getting into the scuffle started by Wei Wuxian 16 years back to aim a punch at Jin Zixuan’s face as the peacock’s son and three other brats stood outside the gates of Lotus Pier while he just stumbled out of bed in his inner robes.
~~~~~~~~~
“Bye jiujiu, I’m going for a nighthunt with Sizhui and the others, ok? I’ll see you!” Jin Ling called out before leaving Lotus Pier to join his friends. “Stay safe you brats!” Jiang Cheng yelled back. Jin Ling was quite mature now. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t proud that Jin Ling finally made some friends successfully, and could enjoy nighthunts on his own. This would be his second nighthunt where Jiang Cheng wouldn’t be following behind them secretly. The kid needed to grow up, after all.
Besides, it was a long day of calling other sect leaders out on their bullshit. As much as Jin Guangyao was a sneaky little fucker before he died, the man did do a good job running the Jin sect. Jin Ling was barely 16, the kid hardly knew of sect matters and diplomacy. Quite frankly, Jiang Cheng was praying that the Sizhui kid’s manners would rub off on Jin Ling. For now, he was happy to let Jin Ling unwind a bit and enjoy his childhood like he deserved. Like Jiang Cheng never could have. It seemed like a pretty manageable prey this time, anyway. Just a few living corpses they were going to dispose of. He figured they’d get an inn or something once they were done, so he didn’t really bother waiting up. Surely they’ll be fine, they’ve encountered living corpses before anyway, they’re experienced enough to deal with it themselves without a scratch, Jiang Cheng thought.
Which is exactly how he woke up in the middle of the night to four scruffy brats covered in blood and dust, asking if he knew how to make congee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After checking each of the boys for any injuries, Jiang Cheng concluded that Jingyi, Zizhen and his stupid nephew had gotten corpse poisoning, while Sizhui took a cut to the arm. Otherwise, they were pretty much fine. He took them to the inner hall to sit while he stirred a pot of congee. “Fucking brats, haven’t you all dealt with living corspes before? How the hell did it come to this?”
Jin Ling spoke up, "Sorry Jiujiu, I also didn’t anticipate Jingyi to be that careless and-”
“Wow, shut your mouth Young Mistress, if you hadn’t accidentally taken a warped arrow with you, we wouldn’t even be-”
“-careless enough to accidentally cut Sizhui-”
“-Zizhen you literally startled me first because you screamed when a corpse-"
“-that you sent flying towards him-”
“Guys please stop fighting…”
“Look at him you fucking fool-”
“-ARE YOU FOUR DONE.”
The four teenagers turned to the cranky man in velvety purple. They immediately fell back into silence. “Yes Jiujiu,” Jin Ling peeped out.
“Listen, I don’t fucking care who’d fault it was, but if you’re going to go on a nighthunt together, then at least cooperate.” Jiang Cheng took out some paper and wrote down in massive font, “配合”.
“You four can read, right?”
“Yes, jiujiu.”
“Yes, sect leader Jiang.”
“Then fucking cooperate! If you all did, then the injuries suffered would be less. You, Lan kid, you better keep compressing that wound or you’re gonna start to bleed out again once you move your arm again.”
“Yes, sect leader Jiang.”
Jiang Cheng muttered something under his breath that sounded something like “what did I do to anger the red calamity that I have such shit luck” before reaching for a small pot to add into the congee.
“Wait!” Jingyi cried out.
“...What?”
“What’s in that pot?”
“It’s fucking soy sauce? What, do you take congee plain? If so, I can add it seperately…”
“No, no it’s just,” Jingyi swallowed like he was recalling a horrible memory, “the last time I had congee for corpse poisoning, I had this really, really spicy congee that probably burnt half my tastebuds, so…”
Jiang Cheng scoffed, “That damn idiot Wei Wuxian made it, didn’t he? No, I promise you I can cook like a normal person. Do you want soy sauce or not?”
“Yes please.”
They lapsed into a relaxed silence afterwards, before Jiang Cheng handed out four bowls.
“Um…Sect Leader Jiang? I didn’t get corpse poisoning, so-”
“Did you eat anything before coming here?”
Sizhui looked a bit surprised at the question, “No…”
“Then eat now. It's not just medicine, it’s also food. A brat your age needs to eat, anyhow.”
“T-thank you sect leader Jiang!”
“Let me see the cut.”
Sizhui presented his arm. It was just a small gash around 15 centimetres long. It was otherwise shallow. “Hm. Pretty good. Take this anyway.”
Jiang Cheng tossed Sizhui a bottle of external medication. The young boy caught it and fumbled for a bit before popping off the cork and applied it to the wound. Jingyi whistled, “Lotus Pier really has peak hospitality! Jin Ling, you should totally let us have a sleepover here, it seems so fun!”
Jin Ling snapped, “There’s no warmed water anymore for us to bathe, and I don’t even live here anymore!”
Zizhen added, “But it really is such a nice sect, right Sizhui? Wouldn’t this be a good place to spend the night? It’s not like we can return to our own sects this late and this dark out, right?”
Sizhui seemed at a loss. “Um…”
Jin Ling shot back, “Go ask jiujiu then!”
“Oh no, no no,” Jingyi waved his hands, “Sect Leader Jiang scares me a bit. Zizhen, go ask Jin Ling’s jiujiu!”
Zizhen suddenly seemed very concentrated on his congee.
“Zizhen!” Jingyi protested. Jin Ling smirked, “Heh.”
“Does the Jin clan not teach you tact?”
“Does the Lan clan not encourage diplomacy?”
“Fuck you, man.”
“Your sect leader is my uncle, your sect leader’s brother is my uncle, your sect leader’s brother's wife is also my uncle. Fuck someone else.”
“All those uncles and somehow we get a Young Mistress.”
“You-”
“Mmhm, yea, me. What of it?”
“I’m going to sic Fairy on you.”
“Maybe she’ll do more damage than your little arrows.”
“Asshole!”
“Mistress.”
Sizhui hurriedly placed himself between the two. “Guys please calm down, I think we’re all tired and cranky, let’s just…rent an inn and rest, ok?”
“No way! Lotus Pier would be a much better place to stay than some inn!” Jingyi complained before raising his voice. “Hey, Jin Ling’s Jiujiu! Sizhui says he wants to have a sleepover here!”
Jiang Cheng turned around from where he was standing. “What.”
Jingyi instantly shrunk back. “Repeat what you said?”
“Sizhui says he…wants to have- to have a sleepover here?”
Jingyi looked up at the terrifying man standing before him, hair loose, framing his handsome face such that it looked both savage yet beautiful. “Pretty…pretty please?”
Jiang Cheng raised an eyebrow.
“With- with a candied hawthorne on top?”
“Shaken up by tonight’s events, Lan brat?”
“Wh-what?”
“You seem so scared.”
“You’re kinda scary.”
Jiang Cheng’s face shifted from neutral to surprised. “Scary? How so?”
“You threaten to break Jin Ling’s legs.”
“Yea well, that’s normal though, isn’t it? Don’t your parents do that too?”
“No…?”
“Oh. Hm.” Jiang Cheng seemed quite taken aback. “Huh. No wonder the other parents I see don’t carry whips.”
“WHAT??”
“Sure, you can sleep over. And yes, while I do threaten to break Jin Ling’s legs, I would never actually do that. Quite frankly I think my Jiejie would march down from heaven and kill me if I did. If that did genuinely upset you though, I humbly apologise. There’s a guest room a few doors down there, Jin Ling can show you.” Jiang Cheng then rested his hand on top of Jingyi’s head. “You should get some sleep, anyhow. It’s quite late.”
“Jiujiu!” Jin Ling complained, “Are you serious? These guys (not you, Sizhui) are animals!”
“If you’re that upset, I still have your old room here. You can sleep in there instead, away from your friends.”
Jin Ling stared at Jiang Cheng before turning, “No, they’ll destroy this place if I don’t keep an eye on them. I’ll sleep in my room tomorrow.”
“Whatever you say, Sect Leader Jin.”
Jiang Cheng watched the four of them walk down the corridor. Scaring Jingyi was kind of fun. The kid spoke a bit too loud to be considered subtle. Just then, he remembered something.
“Jin Ling, hold on.”
The teenager turned around. “What, Jiujiu?”
Jiang Cheng walked up to Jin Ling before pulling him into a comforting hug. “You did not bad today. Rest well, A-ling.”
“Thanks, Jiujiu!”
~~~~~~~~
“A ‘litttle bit scared’ of my jiujiu, hm?”
“Shut up! Did you not get chills, Zizhen?”
Ouyang Zizhen looked a bit dazed. “Sect Leader Jiang actually looks…really pretty.”
“Oh! Zizhen, that’s not…”
“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY JIUJIU.”
“Hey, Young Mistress, is he married yet?”
“HUH?! No, no he’s not. I asked him before, and he said he doesn’t want to.”
“What a tragedy! Is he one of those untouchable beauties?”
“No, he just doesn’t like people. Besides, according to him, being unmarried is wonderful because he gets the whole bed to himself.”
“Staying unmarried just for a whole bed?”
“I think there’s more to it than that, he mentioned something about being able to have a loaf of fluffy bread to himself, but as long as Jiujiu is happy, I couldn’t care less. Anyway, it’s not like I want an A-yi anyway.”
Jingyi slid in, “Mmmnmhm…I could fix him.”
“YOU FUCK OFF AWAY FROM MY JIUJIU AND HIS NICE BED AND BREAD.”
“Just saying, that hug looked so soft, especially against his ches-”
Jin Ling adopted a fighting stance against Jingyi, face as dark as the bottom of a pot. Jingyi immediately changed his tone.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I’m not into Jilfs anyway.”
Sizhui looked lost, “jilfs…?”
“Jiujius I’d like to fu-”
“JIUJIU!” Jin Ling screamed, “KICK THIS BITCH OUT AT ONCE!”
“YOU TATTLER!”
Jiang Cheng appeared almost instantly, brows knit with irritation even as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. “It’s two fucking AM in the morning, I’ll kick him out tomorrow, I’m too lazy to do it now. Go to sleep.”
“Wait! Sect Leader Jiang!”
“What now?”
Jingyi swallowed, “Is it true that having a big bed to yourself is worth not getting married?”
“Yes.”
“Wow, no hesitation. Ok, um…goodnight!”
“Goodnight, you brats.”
The four of them watched as Jiang Cheng disappeared down the hallway before getting into the guest room and settling in. They were just about to drift off to sleep before Zizhen suddenly said, “Your Jiujiu really cares for you, huh, Jin Ling.”
“Of course he does! That's why he’s my favourite uncle.”
“It’s not like what he usually seems, though,” Sizhui spoke up.
“Oh, that. Yea, jiujiu is a bit of a daozui doufuxin (刀嘴豆腐心).”
“I guess our dear Palace Mistress picked that up from him!”
“Insult me one more time and I’ll throw you out myself.”
“Fine, fine!”
The room was silent for a while, until Jingyi spoke up again.
“Good night everypony.”
“Jingyi, one more fucking time and I swear-”
“Ok! Good night everyone! Please don’t fight…”
“Night.”
“Nigh…”