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She walked into Makoto's room.
Aigis looked around his room, the untouched furniture was something she couldn't look away from, especially the bed. She could just imagine Makoto sleeping peacefully under the covers, as she watched diligently so he could wake up earlier than normal. Then, She started daydreaming about Makoto, maybe he would wake up and she could hold his hand, or have a kiss for once, or maybe just hug him tightly, as if holding them away as if some dark force would pull them apart-
Aigis snapped out of her daydream, none of this can happen anymore since he's dead now and no matter how she wished it was a dream, she can't, and it saddened her.
She took another step, focusing on the bed, she noticed a small pod with wired headphones attached to it.
It was Makoto’s MP3 Player.
She walked closer to the bed, hesitant to grab the MP3 player, he was dead, after all, what kind of repercussions would she face? None. But at the same time, it would feel so wrong.
Yet, with strong impulse, she grabbed the MP3 player and turned it on.
“Hello!”
It immediately played a song labeled “Burn my Dread” in black, the background is gray and on the bottom was the battery indicator.
She didn't hear the song, so she laid down on the bed, picked up the headphones and put them on.
She decided she didn't like the song, so she switched between the vast array of songs, their beginnings all blended together into white noise, until she skipped a familiar song.
She didn't know exactly what the song was, but it's so familiar to her, she knew she just had to press back, so she did that. It's name was Memories of you
The beginning instrumentals already had her in tears, not because of melancholy, but because of the familiarity, with a start she realised that it was the song that Makoto listened to before his death, back at that rooftop, she could barely hear anything of the song, yet the at times the melody felt so clear.
Now, she sunk into the land of memories.
The first time they met on the beach, and with that the first time they hugged: “if only I knew sooner…”
Or the time they were approached by Koromaru's old friends, Thinking that they were mistreating him due to him being injured all the time, trying to dispatch the situation, before they ended up walking away.
Did they even listen?
The time they spent together at that rooftop, there she went on a tangent about life and death, fate and destiny before she confessed her love for him, and then he accepted her love confession: “i am really getting this emotional over a place? Why can the tears not stop? Why can't my emotions come to a halt?”
“Wait-”
Her breathing went faster.
Or the time when they were in her room, where she asked him to touch her most sensitive component, the Papillon Heart,
found after untying the red ribbon: “He touched my heart as they say, literally, it felt so wrong yet so…pleasurable.”
But it shouldn't have been pleasurable, I wish I was still a mere…Machine, a Weapon. Why…must I wallow in grief?
And then, she's hit with this feeling of immense sorrow: ‘that day ... .the graduation...”
March 5th 2010, it was the day he died.
She couldn't even dare to say his name, let alone in her head, yet she tried to hold it together, but it failed.
She let it all out, she cried, sobbing on the bed of her dead lover, The oil that had previously welled up in her eyes streamed down her cheeks into the bed.
Thinking about that day, being the only one seeing the light leave his eyes as everyone else was talking, laughing. Near a corpse.
Thinking about it, she cried harder, and with that more sobbing and oil came down.
Her breathing became erratic, the sorrow became unbearable, her heart felt like it had been snapped in two like a twig, she shouldn't even have had a heart, she's a Machine, A tactical weapon made to combat monsters, why is she exhibiting emotions?
She kept trying to convince herself she never wanted humanity, but it only made her cry harder.
She started thinking again, pictures of graduation flickered through her mind like a fire in a burned out candle, Instinctively,
she only got sadder: “Why can't it halt? Why did I do this to myself?”
The repetitive chants kept echoing in her head. She wanted it to stop but ironically it only made everything worse, it only made her cry more and more.
“Why can't it halt, why can't it halt, why can't it halt…” She kept chanting. Gripping the MP3 player as if trying to crush it, but she stopped.
Finally, the sobbing slowed down, the tears with it too. She calmed down, the thoughts of that day flickered and faded, trying to make her sadder.
Even the thoughts came to an end and the tears did so too.
She calmed down, she noticed that she was still listening to that song and that she hadn't moved one bit.
Finally she took the headphones off and turned off the MP3 player, “Goodbye!” It read before becoming a Gray screen.
She put it down, before bringing herself to stand up, she looked into the window for a, the sun had already set over the horizon.
She kept staring at it, Distracting her from all that sadness she experienced, she snapped back to reality before heading to the door.
Then she noticed a gun on his desk, it was his evoker, She picked it up and looked at it for a moment, with only a hint of that breakdown spewing she decided to keep it as a memento.
She lifted a hand to open the door, before she looked back on the bed, the telltale oil stains and cramps on the left pillow were unmistakable.
She couldn't stop looking at them, what would her friends say if she found out? What would even happen? Yet, she decided not to ponder on it too much and walked out the door.
Hopefully no one noticed the oil stains.
Hopefully no one noticed she can't move on.