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Jason had missed out on so much, and sometimes when Dick looked at him that was all he could think about. Every lost little milestone of late adolescence that all had been taken from him. Other times, though, catching Jason stripping off his helmet and shirt heading in for a shower down in the cave post-patrol for example, Dick's thoughts would drift in a different direction. He wondered if maybe there were still certain things Jason had yet to lose.
It wasn't an unreasonable question for Dick to ask, just last week he'd let Jason suck a hickey into his neck after he'd crawled into Dick's bed complaining that he couldn't sleep. It hadn't been the first time either, but they'd never gone any further than making out even though Dick had tried to make it clear he'd be more than okay with doing more.
All of that to say, there was a non-zero possibility that Jason was still a virgin. A stupid and outdated concept, to be sure, and honestly Dick had never really minded either way in past relationships if the other person had been with someone else before him. With Jason, though, there was a thrill in the possibility of Dick being his first.
He tried not to think about it too often. Jason was a grown man, and an unbelievably attractive one at that. Dick wouldn't have been surprised if he'd already been with someone, even multiple someones, and maybe Jason's aversion to doing anything beyond kissing was something specific to Dick. Maybe Jason had drawn the line already for what they were, confusingly drawn together family who could make out in the early hours of the morning if he was plagued by nightmares and nothing more. Even still, something wouldn't allow Dick to let the thought go. Never enough to become an obsession really, but enough to hold on to the hope that there could be more between them, that Jason was still Dick's for the taking.
***
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," Dick cut in softly after yet another night that was technically an early morning of Jason crawling into his bed for an impromptu make out session, "but have you had sex before?"
He'd already braced himself for Jason to pull away, was ready to let him go because he knew Jason didn't like feeling trapped, expected the younger man to lash out even. He wasn't prepared for the way Jason's cheeks flushed before he hid his face in Dick's chest. "If you're gonna make fun of me will you just do it now without making me say it?" Jason grumbled into the fabric of Dick's t-shirt, the fabric so thin he could feel the heat of Jason's breath ghosting across his skin.
"What? Jay I would never make fun-" Dick makes himself be the one to pull away for just a moment, just so he could look his precious little brother in his eyes to reassure him, "that wasn't why I was asking." He insisted, pressing another soft kiss to Jason's lips so he'd know he meant it.
"I just noticed that we don't tend to do much more than kissing, and I like the kissing," Dick does it again for good measure, "and if you only ever want to kiss that's fine by me, but I thought maybe there might be another reason."
Jason seemed to make it a point to look anywhere except Dicks face before asking, "Did Bruce ever, um, tell you about me?"
"What do you mean, little wing? Like when he first took you in? It kinda slipped his mind, you remember-"
"Not me in general, Dickface, about me…about my…" Jason sighed and pushed himself to sit up, "B had just helped me get on hormones before me and you met. I could never tell if you knew or just thought I was scrawny." He looked to Dick's face again, seeming to search for understanding.
Dick would later blame the extended few moments it took for him to put together what Jason was saying on the fact that Jason had actually woken him up this time. In his defense, he'd never thought of Jason as scrawny either, only ever just Jason.
Clearly Jason misread Dick's lack of response as he attempted to slide out from under the covers, but Dick caught him by the wrist to rectify his mistake.
"Is that all? Did you think I wouldn't want you if I knew?" Dick had pushed himself to sit up now, closer to eye level, keeping hold of Jason's wrist though he soon shifted his hand to interweave their fingers instead.
Jason only shrugged in response at first, but he didn't pull away. Dick knew sometimes it was just about waiting him out.
"Sort of," Jason admitted, "I'd, ya know, never been with anyone before the whole getting blown to shit thing, and even if I hadn't been hung up on revenge or whatever after getting out of the pit, it's hard enough to explain 'I don't have a cock if that's what you're looking for' let alone autopsy scars, so just never got around to it." Jason used his free hand to scrub at his face with a sniff, clearly trying to make it look like this wasn't a big deal as he pointedly avoided answering Dick's question directly.
"Little wing," Dick cupped Jason's face gently in his hands, "those things don't matter to me. Just you, will you let me show you that? Let me be your first, Jay?" He kissed him again, unable to help how possessive and protective he felt. He needed this, to make sure that Jason was properly taken care of.
"Okay." Jason's voice was barely a whisper as he nodded, allowing Dick to pull him in close and found himself falling back against the bed with Dick above him.
"I'm gonna make this so special for you, just relax and let me take care of you." Dick assured pressing gentle kisses down Jason's neck, easing him out of his shirt so his mouth could trace each new inch of exposed skin.
"Dickie you don't have to-" Jason started to say, shifting slightly as Dick's lips traced over his autopsy scar.
"Shh, I want to, just let me," Dick soothed, "if you really don't like anything just tell me to stop." He waited an extra beat until Jason relaxed back into the bed again.
"Good boy." Dick winked, earning a blush from Jason before he allowed himself to keep exploring the other's body.
Maybe Dick should have been ashamed of how much he was getting off on knowing that he was the only one to have seen Jason like this before, that Jason would let him take this, but he couldn't find it in himself. Especially not with the way his efforts had Jason writhing and whimpering underneath him once he'd finally let himself relax into it.
"Still okay?" He checked in, fingers hooking into the waistband of Jason's pajama pants as their eyes met once more. He pressed a kiss just above Jason's hip in reward as the man took a shaky breath and nodded, easing the offending clothing off him with a lazy toss away from them.
Jason pulled the corner of Dick's pillow closer to cover his face with one hand as the other reached down cover himself, suddenly getting shy. Dick crawled further up the bed, kneeling over Jason's thighs but not fully straddled to keep Jason from feeling pinned. He leaned up to kiss the balled fist of Jason's hand on the pillow before pulling it loose, holding it by the wrist against the pillow under Jason's head.
"Let me look at you, little wing."He cooed, kissing the corner of Jason's mouth as he grabbed the other hand away. "So good." Dick made sure to praise when Jason automatically moved it to rest on the other side of his head.
Dick felt the urge to memorize every last inch of Jason's skin with his eyes, with his hands, with his mouth. He wanted Jason to know how precious he was to him, that Dick adored every part of him. And Dick made, in his estimation, a valiant effort in accomplishing goal, though he was growing distracted by the aching hardness of his cock and the way Jason's thighs were starting to glisten more and more with slick in the pale moonlight with each passing moment.
Still, Dick was committed to doing this right. He reached down to stroke himself, just enough to take the edge of, before he settled between Jason's legs.
"Should let me see you, too." Jason grumbled nudging at Dick's still-clothed thigh with his knee. He rolled his eyes playfully as he shuffled back to discard the offending clothing, probably now piled alongside Jason's clothes somewhere just beyond the bed.
"Happy?" Dick teased, though Jason appeared to be more than a little distracted as his eyes raked down Dick's body, "Don't worry, it'll fit we just have to go slow."
"Fuck off." Jason shot back, any real heat behind the words lost in the choked off moan escaping Jason's lips while Dick's fingers brushed a small circle around his clit.
That seemed to be all that was needed for Jason to finally just let himself go, melting back into the bed as Dick's fingers continued to toy with him lazily, like they had all the time in the world.
"Dick!" Jason's voice nearly cracked on his name while Dick was pressing a kiss to Jason's inner thigh and working his first finger inside.
"Just relax for me, there you go, gonna make you feel so good Jay." Dick hummed, deftly working Jason up into his first climax of the night.
He found himself working more deliberately and methodically than he had before, mapping out small gesture or movement eliciting pleasure from Jason as he slowly added a second and then a third finger past Jason's soaking entrance.
Once Jason's hips started rocking into the steady thrusts of Dick's fingers, he took the hint that the younger man was starting to grow a bit impatient even if he seemed to have nearly gone beyond the capability of coherent speech.
"I know, I know, " Dick soothed with a hint of laughter at the look on Jason's face as he pulled his fingers away, "but I'm gonna fill you right back up."
Dick's cock was drooling by the time he was able to brush the head against Jason's wet folds. Jason's body tensed underneath him when the tip prodded at his entrance.
"D-Dickie." Jason stuttered.
"Shh, you're okay, you can take it, just need to relax little wing." Dick insisted, leaning down to kiss Jason softly just as the head of his cock finally penetrated the tight heat of Jason's pussy. It was practically a miracle that that paired with Jason's mewling into his mouth didn't have Dick cumming right then.
"We don't have to go any further if-" Dick started to say before Jason's hands wound themselves into Dick's hair to pull him into another kiss, effectively shutting him up.
"If you don't fuck me, I think I might die again." Jason growled.
"Barely past just the tip and already such a little cockslut for me, huh?" Dick retored, though Jason's response was only another long, low moan as Dick pressed further inside.
Dick, again, thought he was doing a pretty good job of things as he eased inch by inch until Jason had taken him to the hilt, he's eyes locked on where their bodies were joined until he heard a hitch in Jason's breath, catching the way Jason's eyes were welling with tears as he'd only just started to move.
"Shit, Jay, does it hurt? Hold on-" Dick attempted to pull out before his efforts were thwarted by Jason wrapping his legs around his waist.
"I don't know how to be clearer on 'fuck me', Dickiebird." Jason huffed.
"But you-" Dick didn't finish the thought, reaching up to brush a stray tear from Jason's cheek with his thumb before Jason swatted is hand away.
"Because it fucking feels good, jackass, now will you please move." Jason rocked his hips insistently until Dick obliged.
Neither of them were able to last much longer after that, though Dick at least managed to work a hand between them to play with Jason's clit to get him to cum one more time before he was suddenly spilling his own release deep inside of him.
***
Dick returned from the bathroom with a warm wash cloth with every intention of cleaning Jason up before he fell asleep, not having expected to find Jason trying to put his pajamas back on.
"What do you think you're doing?" He asked, Jason having been momentarily frozen in confusion.
"I was just gonna head to bed." Jason replied, as though that made any fucking sense.
"Bed's already here," Dick cocked his head pointedly toward his bed.
"Oh, uh, I wasn't sure if…you know…"
"Nope, you're getting the full boyfriend experience, get back over there." Dick ordered, admittedly relieved when Jason didn't try to argue.
"Boyfriend experience, huh?" Jason asked. He once again was avoiding looking Dick in the eye, though Dick wasn't sure if it was because of the word boyfriend or the fact that Dick was at that moment wiping their cum off his thighs.
"I mean, we don't have to call it that I guess, but pretty sure you'd be the jackass here if you think I'm letting you go." Dick teased, tossing the rag to land on top of Jason's abandoned pajama pants to further sabotage any of Jason's plans of leaving.
"Well I'd hate to look like a jackass I guess," Jason rolled his eyes and only blushed slightly when Dick kissed his cheek before settling next to him and pulling the covers back up, "not during the boyfriend experience."
"Oh yeah, totally." Dick agreed with a laugh, wrapping an arm around Jason's waist to pull him snug against Dick's chest.
They'd both gone quiet for a few moments, Dick suspected Jason may have fallen asleep already until his voice broke through the silence.
"Was it, er, it was good for you too, right?" Dick could feel the way Jason's shoulders tensed after posing the question.
"You're perfect for me, little wing." Dick promised, smiling softly as the tension faded from Jason's body and the pair of them drifted off to sleep.