Chapter Text
Seeing is really different from looking. To see is what everyone with decent eyes does when the eyes are not closed. To see doesn’t need any effort. It is the brain that captures what comes in our sight, and throws the little movie away without any extra thought. To look has an intention behind it. We pay attention to what comes in our sight, thinking about what we just looked at. But some people don’t have the ability to look. Are these people as blind as the people who lack the total ability to see? When exactly is a man blind?
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The clattering of the rain against the windows of the cap. Muddy roads (can you even call it roads) also made clear that they existed with the splashing sound of wheels driving over ground with too much water. The firs surrounding the driveway created the same atmosphere that appears in the movie ‘The Shining’.
Leaning his arm on the little platform that is in the inside of a car connected to the side (is there even an official name for that part?), Kaneki couldn’t think of a reason why exactly the scenery outside reminded him of some western movie.
Ah, western movies. To expand his train of thoughts even further, Kaneki thought of that one friend he once had. The vague image of a middle school boy that was always smiling drew a smile on Kaneki’s own face. It seemed like this boy belonged to another life time.
The time that everything could be done without any further thought, was it already that long ago? The time before everything fell apart and that Kaneki had no other choice than to leave his hometown forever, it was some sort of fairy tale to Kaneki. Even after these years of experiencing how fucked up life could be, he still had hope that getting a scholarship for a boarder high school far, far away from all his worries could help him getting his peaceful life back again. Maybe a little bit naïve? Kaneki chuckled to himself while internally asking himself that. The driver of the cap must find him a freaky guy, all that smiling and chuckling to himself.
Speaking of the driver, he began to drive with a slower speed. This hill was supposed to be three minutes by car. Then why did it feel like they had been driving through the same scenery for over ten minutes? Before Kaneki could get enough courage to open his mouth and ask if there was something wrong, the driver spoke.
I can’t go further than this, it’s too dangerous and I’m not going to risk my life for some shady brat that can’t even pay me more than a thousand yen. You have to get out.’’
Ouch, looks like someone couldn’t bare it anymore to keep their opinion to themselves. Kaneki couldn’t blame the guy though.
When he needed someone to take him to a place that was close to three hundred kilometres away from the small town where he stayed all these years, there was only one guy in town who offered himself as victim. Kaneki didn’t really have a choice. Since there weren’t any taxi companies or whatever that provided service to their town, he took the offer as if he just got to choose between death and life, and he chose life of course.
Still, the guy had asked for some money for his good deed before they would leave. Kaneki saw his plan to flee from that place falling apart in millions of pieces. How was he supposed to have any money? When the man saw panic written all over face, he asked how much Kaneki had. Since he didn’t need any money for school, the scholarship had covered him up for everything, he gave his mere thousand yen and got a ‘’will do’’ back.
Now he stood outside in the rain with his small suitcase, watching the car going back down the hill. Kaneki took off his glasses and put them in his jacket pocket, knowing they would get moist anyway. He wouldn’t need them, since they were for reading and all, but he thought they were a nice addition everyday wear.
Trying to be fashionable again he thought.
His long denim blue jacket wasn’t waterproof, and it was raining cats and dogs. Taking his suitcase in his hand, Kaneki ran up the hill.
Socks and bottom of his jeans already getting wet, he tried to speed up his pace. Unfortunately, with the mud and all, Kaneki slipped and fell into the dirty aftermath of too much rain with sand. Being wet from the rain was not his biggest problem right now. Great.
After a fair four minute walk, Kaneki arrived at the gates of the school. It was an all-boys boarding school that was situated in the middle of fricking nowhere, and Kaneki was happy about that. Without having to leave the area, he was safe from the danger that could touch him if he only took one step outside the gates. He was safe here.
A relieved sigh was followed up by a nervous inhale of the rainy air. He had an appointment with the head of the school and he gave everything except for a good first impression with how he looked now. It was as if he was taken off the streets and brought here with a pathetic little suitcase to survive. Which was half true, but he didn’t want to think that.
Looking down, he scolded himself for being so clumsy. It were his only formal clothes too. Sighing ones again, Kaneki walked through the gates towards the main building.
While strolling over the very big area, he looked at the dorms that were on both his left and right side. They had a homey environment around them, looking clean. Kaneki knew that he would have to share his dorm room with someone, or rather someone had to share their own space with him, since he came somewhere at the beginning of the second semester. A lot happened and Kaneki couldn’t get here at April because reasons.
Getting further, buildings and sport fields for clubs and little random stores could be seen. The main building came into sight, and he had to stop for a second to look at it. It was enormous. The building made Kaneki feel so small, and he didn’t know if he liked that or not.
When Kaneki got close enough to the main building that existed of the classrooms and offices, he could read the full name of the school.
Big silver letters said ‘Fukuzawa private school’.
Fukuzawa Yukichi was an important educator that was born in a town nearby. At least, that is what Kaneki had read on the website of the school when the school had contacted him.
The school was famous for taking stray cats from the street to give them a brighter future than what it first would be. School results had to be remarkable high though. Other way to get into the school was having parents with a lot of money. Off we go, and Kaneki walked through the main entrance.
If he thought that the outside left an impression that could be simply described as ‘great’, then the inside would be great times ten. The interior had a traditional modern theme, marble all over the place. Looking up at the big chandelier made Kaneki feel dizzy.
Oh, that’s right. I had an appointment and he began searching for something that looked like a reception or something. Does this school even have that? Kaneki got a bit panicky when suddenly a woman who looked like a teacher showed up.
“Ehh, excuse me’’ Kaneki bowed formally.
‘’I’ve a-an appointment with t-the head’’ he muttered. Before starting his next sentence, he thought about his words carefully, hoping that they would roll out of his mouth with a little more confidence.
‘’Could you please tell me where I can find the head Ma’am?’’ The lady looked at him as if he was indeed a stray cat, giving a look of disapproval.
‘’She is in her office. If you take the stairs to the third floor, it will be at the end of the hallway that is right in front of the stairs’’.
Bowing again and muttering something that sounded like ‘’Thank you’’, he got to the broad stairs and climbed to the third floor, his suitcase still in his hand.
In front of the office, Kaneki knocked twice and stepped back.
Hearing a ‘’Come in’’ from a voice that definitely belonged to a female, he opened the door and walked in.
Sitting in front of the Head’s desk, he looked around the neatly kept room with too much details, trying not to make anything dirty.
the Head was a woman with white blond hair, soft grey eyes, yet a rigid atmosphere around her. She began to speak and Kaneki squealed a little when she formulated his name, looking her straight into the eyes.
‘’You are Kaneki Ken, the new student from Kokonoe, is that right?’’ she read the facts of some document that was his application form.
‘’Yes Ma’am’’. Kaneki didn’t have any words to fill his answer up with.
Great start Ken.
‘’That must have been a tough journey’’, the Head made Kaneki tense up a little less. That was a good thing, making it easier to talk.
‘’First of all, I want to introduce myself. My name is Mado Akira and I’m the headmaster of this school’’. She smiled softly before continuing,
'’You probably won’t see me that much, only if you have serious problems, so I hope for you that you don’t have to come here again’’. Kaneki nodded quickly showing that he understood it.
‘’Secondly, excuse if I’m rude by asking this, but why exactly are you all wet and covered with mud as if you’ve walked through the woods for a week?’’
Yeah I could’ve seen that question coming Kaneki thought and nervously chuckled while telling everything from the man who sat him off somewhere on the hill to him falling into the mud.
He expected more questions after his short story like why he was brought by some random guy. Kaneki didn’t really like to answer questions like that, because it would lead to more curiosity from the other, and that would lead to more questions.
Fortunately, Akira didn’t go deeper into the subject, continuing asking the normal questions like how he was at school, and checking if all the information she had about him was correct.
After that, Akira gave him his keys of his dorm room, saying that he shared it with some guy called Tonozaki Yu. She told him that he could find all the other information in the little info booklet that was situated on his bed in his dorm room for him.
Before Kaneki could leave, Akira said ‘’You should first go get your school and P.E. uniform that you can get in the small building right next of the main building. You will get your first set for free, but if something gets damaged, it is expected from you that you will buy a replacement for the damaged. You are free to go now’’.
Shit. So I actually need money, Kaneki bowed and said thank you before entering the hall again and closing the door behind him.
Okay, first the uniforms, then the money problem. Kaneki made a note to himself that he had to think of a way to get money. How could he think that he wouldn’t need any? You can’t survive without any money, stupid.
When Kaneki came through the main entrance and saw that the rain changed into drizzle. Trying to find the small building where Akira talked about, Kaneki found it indeed at the right side of the main building. Yeah, because why would she lie about that?
The cold October wind was a bitch in his face, and Kaneki hoped he could go straight to his dorm room after this. It was after school time, so he assumed that everyone was busy with their club activities.
Maybe he could have some time alone for the first time in forever. That made him happy. In the town where Kaneki stayed, he was always surrounded by people, which was very difficult for someone who was more of an anti-social person like he was.
Kaneki went through the doors and got greeted by the cosy warmth of the building. Kaneki closed the door and muttered ‘’excuse me’’ while walking into the ‘shop’. He got a surprise in return. Standing still, Kaneki watch the clerk of the shop turning around and starting to speak.
‘’Welco-‘’ The clerk turned mute when he faced Kaneki.
Maybe it was his imagination, but Kaneki could only see sunflowers and smell the summer wind.
What a cliché.
Kaneki tried to speak, but the clerk took the chance first.
‘’Ka… neki?’’
It was indeed the sun himself.
It was indeed Hide.