Chapter Text
Dan stares up into the darkness of his dorm, yawning. He's so tired, unbelievably so, and he should be sleeping, he has to be up early tomorrow for class, but of course that wasn't stopping his insomnia, not even slightly. It was getting harder to fall asleep more and more lately, getting to a point where it would be a damn miracle if Dan could snatch an hour or two of solid sleep in a single night. Then, the rest of his day was a blur of coffee, Skittles, and anything else that could even kind of keep him awake for the next few hours.
He turns onto his side, huffing irritatedly as he closes his eyes, trying for the millionth time to just fall asleep. He shifts again, sitting up to turn his pillow over so it's nice and cool before falling back down onto his side with a plushy thump. His dark locks bounce around at the motion, partially obstructing his face and making his skin itch, and Dan wishes he would've thought to tie the scruffy, unkempt mess he called hair up before throwing himself into bed. There's some more awkward squirming, thin, lanky limbs bending and unbending to find some semblance of comfort, and like clockwork, he's on his back staring at the ceiling again, just waiting for the toxic cycle of tired shuffling to repeat itself. It's extremely annoying. It's not like Dan is staying up all night worrying about grades or classes or relationships or anything like that; he's pretty comfortable with the way most of those things in his life were going. He just can't sleep. It's as simple as that.
Of course, his phone decides to go off, right when the exhaustion in his mind and body starts taking over, and his eyes shoot open with a grimace. He sluggishly reaches over and unplugs his phone, blearily looking at the screen to see who'd texted.
Arin: Yo, Dan, are you awake?
Arin: You shouldn't be, but I can't sleep, and I could use your dick right about now
His grimace almost instantly melts away when he sees it's Arin. A grin spreads across his face as he unlocks his phone, the light of the screen illuminating his face in the otherwise dark room as his fingers tap away at the on-screen keyboard.
Hey, if his body's going to force him to stay awake, he might as well have fun doing it.
Dan: First you leave me voicemails about needing me inside your asshole, now this?
Dan: How badly do you need to get laid, Big Cat?
Arin: Oh, so badly dude, you have no idea
Dan: Thanks for the heads up. The sex life of my best friend is definitely important information.
Arin: No prob, I'm always up for giving you all the hot deets of my non-existent sex life
Arin: Anyway, why the hell are you up? It's like three in the morning. And I'm pretty sure you have class in the morning
Dan: I could say the same to you, dude. Why aren't you taking the train to sleepytime junction right about now?
Arin: That's adorable but I don't know I just can't sleep I guess?
Arin: And I'm bored, and since you're not asleep for whatever reason, let's talk for a while
Dan: Sounds great
Dan: Oh, dude there's this fucking funny picture I found earlier that made me think of you
Dan: I wanted to show you after class but you went back to your dorm before I could
Arin: Lay that shit on me ;)
Dan giggles quietly at the face, pressing the little camera button and choosing the first picture there, sending it off without paying much attention. Dan knows the picture he's looking for is going to be the first one there, he's pretty certain he hasn't taken any pictures today. He's the kind of person who takes about a million pictures in short bursts, but between those bursts you'd be surprised to find even one decent selfie buried in the dumb photos he saves for comedic purposes. Arin and Dan have had full conversations of just pictures being sent back and forth. Some of their best conversations, if Dan said so himself.
There's a sudden lull in the conversation, and Dan wonders if Arin fell asleep and if he should just try to go to bed as well. Unintentionally, Dan actually starts drifting off to sleep, heavy eyelids drooping, before his phone goes off again. And again. Dan counts five dings before he forces his eyes open, blinking a few times as his gaze flickers to the screen.
Arin: Uh what
Arin: Dan? Is that a dick?
Arin: WAIT A SEC IS THAT *YOUR* DICK? :O
Arin: DANNY
Arin: I KNOW I AAID I COULD USE YOUR DICK BUT JEEZ
Dan's eyebrows furrow in confusion, and alarm bells are going off in his head. One, because Arin just called him Danny, and Arin never fucking does that unless he's super stressed or annoyed, and two, what was that about his dick?
The second his eyes land on the text conversation after unlocking his phone again, his heart drops, blood running cold.
Oh, no.
OH NO.
A hand comes up to cover Dan's face, he doesn't want to look at his phone or anything else ever again, but at the same time he's way too curious to just close his eyes completely. A hot and unbearable wave of embarrassment passes over his entire body, and damn does he not want to exist right now. His eyes are wide in horror as he peeks at his phone's screen through his fingers. He's frozen in place, just watching in silence as his phone buzzes in his hand.
Arin: LEIGH DANIEL AVIDAN DONT YOU LEAVE ME BANGING WITH A PHOTO OF YOUR COCK
Arin: ****HANGING, I MEANT HANGING FUCK
He'd probably legitimately scream if Barry wasn't sleeping in the same room. The last thing Dan wants to do is to drag his roommate into this mess he just caused with one press of his finger. Part of him seriously wants to just disappear, wants the floor to just open up and swallow him whole, taking all the shame and humiliation he was feeling with it like some kind of merciful vacuum cleaner.
He forgot. He completely forgot about...those. Earlier that day, Brian was talking about his girlfriend, and how he'd recently had to take dick pics because she asked him to. Which led to Dan bringing up the fact that he actually never took pictures of his dick to send to a girl, and Brian's laughter and jeering comments ended with Dan taking a couple shots of his dick the second he got to his and Barry's dorm. He wasn't sure why he did it, he felt as if he had something to prove all of a sudden. Dan wasn't one to let himself be one-upped over anything, even stupid things.
This was definitely one of the more stupid things he got defensive over. Hell, what was he even going to do with those? It's not like he had a girlfriend or anyone he really had romantic feelings towards to send pictures of his schlong to, so the whole situation was pretty pointless in general. The pictures would serve absolutely no purpose to Dan besides clogging up space on his phone.
That, and utterly embarrassing him in front of his friend.
Right, Arin. Dan sighs, looking wearily at his phone. Arin hasn't sent any more messages, he's probably waiting on Dan to finally respond.
Well, Dan doesn't want to respond.
He really doesn't want to respond, but he has to, he's going to have to face Arin the very next day in class and if he doesn't give Arin an explanation, it's going to be awkward. Dan doesn't like it when things get awkward between him and anyone.
Dan: OH SHJT
Dan: SHIT FUCK UH WHOOPS THAT WAS NOT ON PURPOSE ARIN I PROMISE
Arin: Why do you have dick pics who the fuck are these for
Arin: TELL ME DANNY I NEED TO KNOW
Dan: WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME DANNY
Dan: YOU NEVER FUCKIGN DO THAT AND IM ALREADY FREAKING OUT
Arin: I'm sorry, IM freaking YOU out?
Arin: YOU JUST SENT ME A PICTURE OF YOUR JUNK DAN I SHOULD BE THE ONE SAYING THAT
Arin: I MEAN TBH ITS NOT LIKE I REALLY MIND LOOKING AT IT BUT ITS A BIT OF A SURPRISE YOU KNOW
Arin: Wasn't really expecting a face full of dick tonight...
Dan: Wait no, back up, my junk freaks you out? Is my cock like fucked up or something??
Arin: What
Dan: No NO I'm serious now is there something wrong with my dick? Tell me right now dude
Arin: DAN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THATS NOT EVEN RELEVANT
Dan: WELL IT IS NOW HOT SHOT TELL ME IF THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY DICK
Dan: YOURE MAKING ME NERVOUS
Arin: ...You actually want me to look at it again?
Dan: Did you delete it yet?
Arin: Was I supposed to
Dan: YES
Dan: THAT'S COMMON ACCIDENTAL DICK PIC ETIQUETTE ARIN
Arin: 90% sure you JUST made that up but how would I know I've never done this shit
Arin: Teach me how to sext Sexbang
Arin: Also I'm sorta impressed that you can actually spell etiquette right now like damn
Dan: Thank you I'm the best at spelling
Dan: Except I can't spell nomenclature for my damn life
Arin: You just did?
Dan: Oh, shit, you're right, I was certain that was wrong but I guess not?
Dan: Auto correct probably helped me out but ANYWAY BACK TO THE PICTURE WHY DID YOU NOT DELETE MY DICK
Arin: Because you didn't say I had to???
Arin: Alright it's gone happy now
Dan: FUCK, NO! ARIN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME IF MY DICK IS WEIRD!
Arin: I'm getting some mixed messages here Dan do you want me to have your dick on my phone or not
Dan: gdi
Dan: I'm sending it again hold the fuck on
Arin: Wait you don't have to I'm looking at it right now
Dan: WTF YOU DIDNT DELETE IT????
Arin: Pfft, of course not like I would ever let go of this baby
Dan: Oh my god, shut up.
Dan: So?
Arin: So what
Dan: How's my dick look
Arin: Never thought I'd hear those words from you Dan
Arin: Or read them I guess?
Dan: Focus Arin this is important!
Arin: It's not tho it's just your dick, I have one too remember
Arin: Plus it looks fine to me
Dan: Just fine?
Arin: Dan what the fuck do you want me to say
Dan: Be honest I guess idk
Arin: It's not small
Dan: Okay...
Arin: It's a damn beautiful specimen that I would love to suck and choke on until there's hot, salty jizz pouring down my throat
Dan: Wait what
Dan: Seriously all jokes aside how serious are you being right now like scale of 1 to 10
Arin: Yes
Dan: Arin ffs yes isn't between 1 and 10.
Arin: I'd totally suck your dick
Arin: Like, I'm not even joking I didn't even have to see a pic to know that I would
Dan: Huh?
Arin: Well I mean
There's yet another pause. Dan watches as the ellipses bubble pops up to show Arin's typing, disappearing and reappearing multiple times. He raises an eyebrow. Whatever Arin's trying to say, it's clearly taking a few tries to actually get out.
Arin: *yawn* you know what it's WAY past my bedtime and I'm feeling tired after all I'm gonna go to bed k bye Dan I like your dick
Dan: ARIN
Dan: Get your ass back here Hanson!
Dan: Don't you yawn at me through text!!
Dan: Fuck
Dan: ...Do you actually like it, though?
Dan stares at his phone after sending the last message, impatiently waiting for Arin to respond, and when he doesn't, Dan flops face down onto his pillow with a groan.
What just happened? Did his best friend just admit he wanted to actually blow him?
...Well, Arin did often say lots of gay things like that in casual conversation, so it's not the weirdest thing that could've happened. The part that Dan finds odd is Arin's reaction to his own words. Usually Arin will keep going with whatever ridiculous thing he says, escalating it until it's absolutely insane and Dan is almost crying with laughter. Though, this time, there was a genuine response, a panicky oh shit moment that Dan isn't sure he's ever witnessed Arin have. It was as if he immediately regretted what he had sent, and the resulting regret made him leave the conversation as fast as fucking possible.
Dan starts drifting off for real this time, still face down on his bed, and Arin's words are the one of the last coherent things on his mind as he falls into a restless slumber. However, the last, last thing he thinks about is how he's going to yell at Brian for starting this trainwreck. Or at least tell him what happened, because technically it was more Dan's fault than anyone else's.
Meh, it was a good sixty-forty split of fault. Dan being the larger one, of course. Maybe seventy-thirty, if he was feeling generous. But all that, sadly, would have to wait until tomorrow. The next day definitely isn't going to be fun, Dan knows that much.