Chapter Text
“Forgive me, Belle,” he whispered, brushing her hair back from her sleeping face. She looked so pristine, pale skin surrounded by her dark hair, lips so pink and perfect. Everything about her was just...perfect. Far too good for him. He took her hand in his own. “All that I have will be yours, don’t you worry. You and our child will be taken care of, I promise. Our home, the shop, the library, it’s all I can give.” The weight of the weapon suddenly registered against his breast, burning where it rested inside his jacket. “That...and one more thing.” He swallowed, taking a moment to remember what her delicate hand felt like in his own, how their skin contrasted, how soft she was, how rough his centuries-old calluses were… “Please, tell our child I love them. And never, ever doubt that I loved you, Belle.”
He brushed the back of his fingers along her cheek, pursing his lips to keep tears from falling from his stinging eyes. He tucked a letter into the blanket, in case Maurice decided she didn’t need that either.
Belle and their baby were far more important than he could ever be. He’d lived long enough. Too many lifetimes for any person, Dark One or no. He could die for this. He’d died for his family once, and he’d do it again. And this time...this time it would be permanent.
Rumple forced himself away from her, trying to touch as much of her as possible, to remember what he could never forget. He wished he could hear her voice again. Just once. See her smile, maybe. This was enough. It would have to be enough.
Decades ago when he’d first set eyes on her sweet face he never once guessed that she would be the woman to bring him to his knees, to be the woman he would move stars and realms for. Foresight or no, he could have never predicted giving his heart to that girl. Here he was now, ready to die for her a second time. He didn’t regret it for a moment.
He placed her hand back on her chest, stroking her hair once more before he turned to leave.
Rumple flipped his phone open, setting his jaw and typing gravely. She’s in the shop. I’m going for good. Save her. ~R . And that was that. He closed his eyes, a solitary tear making its way down his cheek.
The phone snapped shut and he disappeared in a whirl of smoke, reappearing at the well. Their well.
Belle, exhausted and timid, following him here to bring magic to Storybrooke, his only hope to restore her memories to her, and then...then she brought life and light back into his bleak existence with two words.
“Rumplestiltskin, wait. ”
Her smile warmed him, brought feeling back into his cold body like sun on a frosted tree branch. That kiss, that beautiful, loving kiss put new air into his lungs, her care washing over him. That kiss was a baptism into a new life with her, even if he still had one foot in the past, shadows clawing at him to come back. Belle kept him from being consumed.
The starlight and fire glinting off her teary eyes, pristine in all white from head to toe, her brooding father not far off behind her. More love, pure, heated love that found its way into her tears and burned so beautifully. She smiled then because she couldn’t stop, bounced into their kiss like a woman starved. She was desperate to be his wife, and he was desperate to belong to her. To try again, to let go of his pains and losses to be with her.
He’d taken his heart from his chest and shown it to her, offered her the most vulnerable piece of him he could, and even without her heart Belle looked so broken to see and know his pain. Pain, their last visit here was painful to think about but it was worth it. Belle made everything worth it, every ounce of pain endured was worth it. She deserved her life. Their child deserved it too.
He took the crystal out with trembling hands. He promised. Whatever it takes to get her back. To save their child. Whatever it takes.
It hovered between his hands, glowing with power that he could feel pulsing through it. He extended his arms, putting it out in front of him. He took a shaky breath.
“I’m sorry I won’t get to see you, Bae,” he whispered. “But I love you.”
Another breath. He closed his eyes, listening to the wood around him. Belle’s eyes. Her dimples. The scent of her skin. Her voice. Her books.
“Belle…” One last breath, and let the crystal plunge into his heart.
The pain that shot through him latched onto every nerve in his body and throttled it. The curse shrieked at the sudden onslaught and vanished from him, leaving him mortal in his last moments, the pain worse.
Then the stinking weight of his body was gone, fallen to the forest floor with the crystal landing with a thud.
He was floating, free, unbound, and fading. It wasn’t the greatest of feelings, but at least there wouldn’t be any pain and torture like the last time. No paradise either, but how could expect that after the life he’d led?
It was okay. It was okay to give up any speck of a chance at a happy ending. Villains don’t get happy endings. Death and all its emptiness -sweet, sweet nothing- wrapped itself around him and pulled him in, submerging him in its pool.
In his last seconds of existence, he regretted never knowing his child’s name.
And then he was gone.
~*~
Maurice had received the text from that damned demon, not entirely knowing what he meant by his words or where he might be off to, but he was gone. He would leave his daughter alone and that despicable enchantment he had over her would fade. No longer would she be running after that beast, full of ideas about heroism and domesticity with such a vile creature. Now she would be with him, at home, where she belonged. Even with Gaston dead he could find her a much more suitable man in this town. Anyone was better than The Dark One.
He stepped into the shop cautiously, eyeing the cane resting on the counter like a warning for him entering there, a reminder of what happens when the coward was unhappy. He wondered how many times he’d taken that to his daughter.
Pushing the curtain aside he saw her lying there, breaths deep and slow. “You’re free now,” he said quietly, standing beside the cot. “You’ve nothing to hold you back now, Belle. Nothing to be afraid of now.” He started to bend to kiss her head and wake her--
Belle gasped awake, sitting up fast and clutching her chest, looking around wildly.
“Belle! Belle, it’s alright, you’re safe!” Mo assured, touching her shoulder. He hadn’t kissed her, how was she awake?
“Where’s Rumple?” She asked, her breaths still quick, and she hardly looked at him. The caring vanished from his expression in an instant. “Rumple? Rumple!” She called, moving to get up. He stopped her.
“He’s gone, Belle,” he said, the affection gone from his voice as well. “He can’t harm you anymore, he’s gone for good.”
She stopped, looking up at him. What could that mean? ‘Gone for good’? Rumple was the Dark One he couldn’t just die, not unless he was killed with the dagger. She shook her head, not understanding. “What...what do you mean? Where did he go-?” An envelope with her name written across it in Rumple’s swirling scrawl fell to the floor. She snatched it up before her father could, tearing it open.
There was a dreadful feeling in the back of her throat, nesting there like bile, and it wasn’t from the baby. Something was horribly wrong, wrong enough that her heart was stinging and she’d woken from her sleep without her father touching her. She could tell that much by his expression when she woke.
The words he’d written her flew in front of her eyes, which steadily filled with more tears that fell down flushed cheeks. “N-no,” she stammered. “No, no, he can’t be…”
My dearest Belle,
Nothing would have made me happier than being with you for all my life. Raising our child, and perhaps even more children, would have given me that happy ending I’d always dreamed about having with you. I know how often and how much I disappointed you, and I couldn’t let you down again this time. You told me to do anything and everything I could to save our child, and wake you. This was the only option left.
Your father would not wake you unless I was ‘gone for good’ and by now I certainly am. The weapon I’m using will not let me come back this time. No deals, no trips to the Underworld or anywhere else can bring me back from the death I am about to experience. Know it was worth it, my sweet. I do not regret this decision, please do not think I did. I love you. I have always, and will always, love you.
Please tell our child about me. Whether it be good or bad things, please let them know that I didn’t leave them because I wanted to. I would never abandon my child, never again, please let them know that. I wish I could have seen them, and known whether they have your eyes or your smile. I don’t mind whether they look like me or not, jus so long as they are healthy and happy.
Every property I own is now yours. Sell anything you’d like should you need to. There’s enough so you and our child will never want for anything. My will is in the safe in case anyone attempts to dispute that.
I have caused you so much pain. I’ve broken your heart and let so many horrific things befall you because of my carelessness, my greed or my pride, and I know I’m hurting you again by doing this. I’m so sorry. For every time you questioned whether or not you were my first priority, that I loved you less than something else, that life with you would never be enough for me. Gods, Belle, I am so sorry for every second you spent in pain because of me.
My kiss couldn’t wake you in the Underworld, and maybe that means our love isn’t as true as we thought, and for that I am again so sorry. But I do know I have never loved as fiercely as I’ve loved you.
Wherever I may be, know that my heart will always be yours. Have your adventures, Belle. Live your life with all your freedom and nothing to hold you back. Show our child the world, both in pages and reality. Be the hero I know you are, and know that whatever guilt you may feel for anything that’s happened, it’s alright. There’s nothing to forgive and please don’t think I’m simply being too kind.
I’m glad you chipped that cup.
Now, and for all the future yours,
Rumplestiltskin
P.S. I wish we could have danced one more time.
She broke down sobbing, hugging the papers to her chest, shaking her head. “He can’t be, he can’t be gone!”
“Belle-” Maurice reached for his daughter and she jerked away, standing.
“Maybe I’m not too late. Maybe. I have to go.” She bolted out the door, clutching her stomach, barely registering to grab her coat and the keys to Rumple’s car, which took multiple attempts to start before she peeled out of the drive and headed toward the woods.
Trembling all over, praying hard and begging the universe that this hadn’t happened yet, that she could still save him and tell him everything she’d kept locked up in her heart for so long. Her father was the last thing on her mind and she didn’t notice him following her, nor did she care.
She knew exactly where Rumple would go to do this, what he would want to see before he-
Eyes blurred with tears she hurtled herself out of the car and rushed through the trail, ducking around tree branches, tearing her tights on brambles and she didn’t stop until she saw the well. And not ten feet from it, Rumple’s body.
“NO!”
She screamed, dropping to her knees beside him and lifting him into her arms. “Rumple? Rumple, wake up. Wake up!”
Approaching footsteps vaguely reminded her of Father’s presence, but she didn’t look up. She shook her husband a little, tapping his face. “Rumple, open your eyes. Wake up, Rumple, you can’t be gone. You can’t-” She kissed him, waiting for something to change, for his face to regain color, for his limbs to warm, for his breath to start up again. Nothing. “Please!” She kissed him again, crying harder each time it failed. “Wake up! Wake up now! You can’t leave me, Rumple, you have to meet our baby!”
“Baby?” Moe blinked, taking a step back.
“You have to meet your child, PLEASE!” She screamed. “YOU WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!”
She grabbed the dagger that had fallen beside him, holding it tight. “Dark One, I command you, wake up!”
But he was still. The sun filtered through the leaves, splashing his silver-brown hair with color and warmth that didn’t reach his face. He looked younger, unburdened, empty.
Belle shook her head, hugging him to her chest and rocking with him while she cried. “No, no, no, Rumple please! You can’t leave me, not again. Not again, I love you! I love you, please come back! Please come back… We-we have to raise our baby, we, we need to dance again. Please wake up so we can dance,” she begged, crying into his hair.
She didn’t know how long she stayed like that before her father spoke.
“Belle...come on, let’s get away from here. You can’t stay like that.”
Belle looked at the hand stretched out to her, still clinging to Rumple’s body, her agonized eyes filling with fire. “What did you say to him?” She asked in a low, almost growling, voice.
“What?” He frowned.
“You said something to him, he told me!” She held up the letter, glowering at him. “That, that you wouldn’t kiss me awake unless he was ‘gone for good?’ Is that true?”
“Belle, I-”
“IS IT TRUE?!” She screamed. In a black corner behind her, the darkness that had left Rumplestiltskin rippled.
“...Yes. It’s true,” he admitted.
“How dare you-!”
“How dare I?” He snarled. “How dare you! Being so fucking blind to his villainy, trailing after him like some lost little girl, letting him use you and manipulate you! I know his temper, Belle, I know he put his hands on you, he hit you!”
Belle’s scowl deepened. She carefully rested Rumple back on the ground and stood, still holding the dagger. “He never put a hand on me. He loved me. Rumple was not a monster, not once, not ever. He didn’t bewitch me into loving him, I just did. I loved everything about him, dark or light. I wanted to be with him, I chose to marry him and dedicate my life together with him! You were there! You walked me down the aisle!”
“That doesn’t mean I was happy about it! My foolish daughter off on another fantasy of fixing and saving monsters. You would rather be with that demon than a human man, than Gaston!”
“Gaston was a real villain!” She cried, gripping the dagger tighter. The curse perked up again, readying itself. “He was the monster, and so are you! You wouldn’t take me out of that horrible curse because of who I loved? Do you know what kind of place you’re trapped in under a sleeping curse? Do you?! I do! Firsthand and it’s worse than Hell! You-you forced my true love’s hand-”
“His kiss didn’t work, he wasn’t your true love. I can’t believe you’re this delusional-”
“ENOUGH!” She cried. “He is dead because of you! He’s gone where I can’t follow him, where I can’t bring him back so he can meet his baby!”
“That demon spawn needs to be dealt with,” he snarled, gesturing to her stomach. “Nothing good can come from that man, nothing!”
“I SAID ENOUGH!”
The Darkness came out of its hiding place, frightening the girl’s father so much he staggered back and fell to the ground at his daughter’s feet.
“Belle, behind you!”
She didn’t move, she could feel it. The dagger was buzzing in her hand and she held it in front of her face, boiling with rage. “You want to see a demon, Father?” She asked, a cruel tint to her eyes, a sharp edge of pure anger and hatred in her face. “I will show you one.”
“Belle, no-!”
The Darkness swarmed her, twisting around her and the dagger, enveloping her body, then weaving into her soul, binding her to it, bones and all. She was surprised it didn’t hurt. When it settled she hadn’t disappeared like Emma had, but the dagger bore her name.
Never had she felt so strong, so capable, so utterly unafraid of herself, of her ability, of anything. For the first time in a very long time, Belle knew exactly what she wanted right at this moment. “There, Father,” she said softly, her eyes already changing into an eerily bright blue. “Now you have a monster. Shall I act like one?”
Every tug to manipulate her into the mold he wanted, every harsh, passive aggressive sentence made about her reading, her dress, her habits, her stance, her weight, her makeup, her hair, every single solitary moment he controlled her and used her for his own advantage, and when he sold her to Gaston all flooded her mind as she strode toward him, scowling deeply.
“This child is mine,” she hissed. “My love is still mine. And I won’t let you take anything else away from me!”
Before Moe could protest his daughter’s fist plunged into his chest, gripping his heart tight. She shook her head, sneering at him. “I wish it would have been you instead of Mother,” she spat, tearing his heart clean from his chest and crushing it in her hand without a second thought.
The dust fell between her fingers and she stood there a moment, swaying, the adrenaline still coursing through her. She touched her stomach, suddenly panicked about what the curse might do.
“Don’t worry, dearie, it’s fine!” She spun around, facing The Darkness, who had taken Rumple’s form from the Forest. She let out a soft breath, swallowing the lump in her throat. “We can only possess one adult soul at a time, as it turns out. No Dark One fetus, I assure you!”
She continued to stare, looking between the figure in front of her and the body on the ground. “Didn’t he tell you about this part?” He asked. “Seeing things like me? Well, it varied a little for him, but eventually it was me.” He giggled. “I’ll take your silent gawking as a no.”
“What- I don’t understand,” she whispered, still looking. “He...You’re gone.”
“I’m not Rumplestiltskin, dearie. I just took the form I thought you’d like the most. I was right, wasn’t I?” He grinned, taking a step forward that she quickly backed away from. He chuckled. “I’m the Darkness, dearie. The voice. A...guide so to speak to all your fun new abilities. This is new to me too, don’t worry. Never been absorbed willingly like that before. Just to do your Papa in, how delicious.”
“He threatened my child,” she whispered. “He killed my husband.”
“Actually he did that himself, I was there. Too bad I got out first!” He laughed again, and she wished it didn’t relax her to hear Rumple’s voice. “But, oh well. He always was a bit of a fool, hm?”
“You know everything about him, you even act like him, so…”
“Just an idea of him. A template, see. Why, is it comforting?”
“Yes,” she said softly, swallowing her fear. Belle rushed to him, throwing her arms around his neck, finding him solid only because she willed it so.
He stiffened, cocking his brow at her before finally placing a hand on her back. “I’m not him, Belle.”
“You’re the closest I have,” she grunted, feeling her skin change after what she’d done. “And I can’t get him back now.”
With the curse came knowledge almost instantaneously, and she knew his soul was gone. Not even the Underworld could have him now.
“Now why do you say that, dearie?” The apparition asked, stepping back and holding her shoulders.
“Because...h-his soul is gone,” she said softly.
The Darkness giggled, shaking his head. “Not quite!” He pointed to her stomach. She frowned, opening her mouth to ask a question but he kept talking, cutting her off. “There’s still a way, Belle. But it’s not going to be fun for you, or anyone else for that matter.”
“Whatever I have to do. I’ll do anything,” she swore, overwrought.
He giggled again, clapping this time. “I love it when they say that!”
“What do I do first?” She asked, refusing to let her emotions settle for too long. She’d break down again if she did, and the rage is what she needed to stay focused on.
“First, you should likely put him in stasis before he starts stinking, hm?” He laughed, pointing at Rumple, which in turn caused Belle to do the same, magic pouring from her fingertip and over her husband. She swallowed.
“And now?”
He grinned, circling her. “Now’s the fun part. Who do you want revenge on, Belle? Who else led your valiant little spinner to this untimely end?”
Kidnapped, used, abused, taunted, prodded, beaten, threatened, starved, bound, blamed, blackmailed, ignored, accused. She caused it all, it’s her fault any of this happened in the first place!
Belle’s eyes darkened again, the whites turning a darker shade of gray while the irises stayed bright blue. “Emma.”
“Then Emma is your first step bringing him back,” he smiled. “If you’re up to it.”
“I am,” she swallowed, then looked at him. “Why me? Why not go find someone like Zelena or, or someone else that might want you?”
The apparition came up behind her, pressing against her and speaking into her ear. “Because, dearie. I know how to recognize a desperate soul.”