Chapter Text
“Heyyyyyy Birdyyyyy!”
Raising his head up ever so slightly with a lingering gaze on his computer, Stolas finally reaches Blitzø’s gaze. He hums, taking his hands off the keyboard to put them in his lap.
“What can I do for you, Blitzø?”
Blitzø waves his hand dismissively. “Nothin’. Just checkin’ in, y’know. Seeing how you’re holding up with all the… paperwork. ”
He can’t help but roll his eyes fondly at Blitzø’s statement. Paperwork. That would be the biggest understatement of the century.
“Luckily for you, I can handle dozens and dozens of endless words and repetitive papers that are of utmost importance, but they somehow have been pushed to the side carelessly,” Stolas replies, hands coming up to fold his arms.
“See? I knew hiring you was a good fuckin’ choice!” Blitzø says, a big fat grin spreading across his face. He leans over to pat Stolas’ head. Stolas does everything in his power not to show it, but he does get those stupid butterflies in his stomach.
“You do realize how unprofessional your company is, correct?” Stolas questions, “Not that I’m judging in the slightest, but… your daughter works here, both of your employees are married, and you and I are—”
“Are what?”
Stolas and Blitzø stare at each other for what it seems like an eternity, before Stolas clears his throat and looks down at the stack of papers.
“It doesn’t matter. I doubt you even care about that sort of thing, anywho.”
“That sounds like judgement to me, cloaca-haver.”
“I am not judging y—... What did you just call me?” Stolas looks right back up at Blitzø with a confused expression.
“Cloaca-haver.”
Stolas stares at Blitzø for a moment, before slowly going back to organizing the stack of papers in front of him.
“Listen. I jerk off in my office, ‘kay? I’m not exactly looking for a professional company. We get plenty of business, anyway.”
A sigh escapes the bird’s beak. He did not want that visual in his head right now. Not because he finds it disgusting, but…
“I’m not going to even ask why you felt the need to share that with me. And why you feel the need to take care of your business in your office. ”
Blitzø rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Oh, yeah, because you’re a prude. ‘Sides, can’t exactly have a good wank off sesh at home anymore. Don’t get much privacy.”
“I apologize that my company is keeping you from tending to your urges,” he says with a hint of pettiness in his voice. Even though he is being sassy with Blitzø, he does feel bad for it. Never being able to give Blitzø the proper space he needs… It must be exhausting. (Not that Stolas gets any space, either).
Blitzø gives him a fond little chuckle. “More like your company is giving me those urges…” he mutters under his breath.
“Sorry, what did you just say?” Stolas raises a brow as if he didn’t hear him because Blitzø is not being subtle whatsoever (and he also has excellent hearing).
“ Sexybirdsayswhat? ”
“What?”
Blitzø leans closer to Stolas. A smirk spreads across his face. “Just teasin’ ya. Now, are we gonna keep talking about me jerking off, or are ya gonna actually tell me how you’ve been doing?”
His feathers puff up, and his heart pounds against his chest. Stolas tries to act nonchalant, but he knows Blitzø is staring at him with a smug little gaze.
“I’m doing alright. I believe I’m almost finished with this stack of papers. I’ve managed to schedule a few clients and meetings in the calendar, and I—”
“Okay, but how are you doin’ mentally?” Blitzø says, cutting Stolas off mid sentence.
Stolas stops, letting out a gentle little sigh. “I told you not to worry about me.”
Blitzø continues to stare at him, before leaning back just a smidge. “And I don’t listen to your orders, now, do I? Just tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, bird-brain.”
His beak clamps shut, and he ponders on what to say yes. It’s been almost three months since he almost got himself killed trying to see his daughter.
Three straight months of pathetically sending her message after message and voicemail after voicemail. He just wants to talk to her. He just wants to know how she’s doing.
But he can’t lie. Stolas has allowed himself to be happy over the few months— thanks to Blitzø (and the antidepressants that he started ordering once again)— and he feels so awful for it. He feels like he shouldn’t even allow himself to be happy.
“I… I’m okay. I mean,” Stolas nervously starts to click the pen in his hand, fidgeting with it. “I still… miss her. A lot.”
Blitzø frowns. “Course you’re gonna miss her. She’s your kid. Are the… antidepressants helping? I mean, seems like you’re doin’ okay considering you have more motivation to do stuff.”
“I didn’t know that having a boss means I’d get a therapist as well,” Stolas remarks, leaning forward. “Seriously, Blitzø, thank you for taking care of me, but I—”
“Zip,” Blitzø puts his hand over Stolas’ beak. “For fucks’ sake, Stolas. Maybe we should look into getting you a therapist.”
Stolas would be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate all of this attention he gets from Blitzø. He likes knowing that he genuinely cares, but… Stolas stares at him, eyes half-lidded, before dragging his tongue over the palm of his hand.
Blitzø leans back in again, smirking. “You trynna gross me out right now? That ain’t gonna work, birdie. I kill people for a living, sweetheart. And after all the shit we’ve done in bed? Tsk. I thought you knew better.”
He slowly takes his hand off of Stolas’ beak, and Stolas can feel his face burning. He tries his best to remain nonchalant, but his posture is off, his face is probably coated with blush, and he can feel his feathers puff up once more.
“I should’ve bit your hand instead,” he huffs out, rolling his eyes to play out this ‘I’m annoyed’ act to cover up the fact Blitzø swooned him with that .
“I’m into that, too,” Blitzø retorts almost immediately, and then he leans back, letting Stolas actually breathe without feeling like his heart was on the verge of exploding.
“My point is… I’m alright. I’m the best that I can be, right now. I know I can’t control this predicament I’m in, so I’ll just keep reaching out to her, and if she’s ever ready to talk to me, then she’ll reply. Or I’ll end up going wild once again and go over to the palace without saying a word to you or anyone else about it and get myself killed.”
Blitzø stares at him, before scoffing. “All the more reason to keep you at arms length at all fuckin’ times.”
Stolas frowns, “It was a joke, Blitzø. I’m not going to do that. Especially when I risked hurting you and your friends last time.”
The imp shrugs slightly, before humming. “Maybe we outta get ya some sex toys. Vibrators. I mean, I have a chest in my office if you wanna take your pick—”
Stolas stares at him, dumbfounded. “What does that have anything to do with what we’re talking about?”
Blitzø breaks out into a grin, “Stress relief. You can take care of yourself in the bathroom if you’d like.”
“I am not going to masturbate in your fucking bathroom, Blitzø.”
Stolas stares at him, trying to act unamused, but he can’t help it. He breaks out into a smile and laughs, putting his face in his hands. “You’re utterly ridiculous.”
“I know,” Blitzø replies, and he can hear that smug happiness in his voice. He’s probably pleased with himself.
As if he’s ever failed to make him laugh before, though.
“Listen, I gotta go kill some fuckface with M&M and Loona. You okay to stay here by yourself?” Blitzø questions, a concerned expression on his face.
Stolas waves dismissively. “I always am, Blitzø.”
“M’kay, but remember to—”
“Yes. Call you if I’m having any problems. Now stop worrying about me.”
Blitzø gives him a small little wink. “Nope. Like I said, I don’t take orders from ya. See you later, tall horsie.”
Stolas rolls his eyes fondly at the nickname as Blitzø scampers off with M&M and Loona, using the Asmodean crystal to go into the human world.
—————————————————————————————
A few hours later, in the midst of writing very important things (definitely not the shitty indulging smut story Stolas writes in his journal), he hears the portal open. His head raises and he’s quick to shut his journal because no one can read the contents in it… (even though he’s like 50% sure Blitzø already has read everything in his journal, but that’s a theory to be explored another day). He rises from his chair as Moxxie quickly jumps into the portal, looking back at Blitzø, Loona, and Millie.
And then Blitzø is grabbed by the neck.
Just like that.
With a simple little swipe of a human hand.
Stolas can feel his whole body stop, tensing up, goosebumps running down his body. He recognizes the person currently holding Blitzø.
That fucking kook.
He should’ve fucking ripped out that kook’s neck, shoved it up his asshole until it reaches his stomach when he had the chance.
Loona is quick to act, leaping forward to (probably) bite the idiot’s head off— but the other kook appears out of nowhere to shock her until she’s unconscious.
Stolas looks around for Millie, and she’s cornered with a bunch of idiotic humans. She can easily take them on, but it doesn’t even matter.
The moment Stolas looks back at Blitzø, they reach eye-contact, and he knows what he’s about to do. Before he could leap into the portal, the imp rubs the crystal, and the portal closes.
And there they are: Two twinks - no magic, no book, no plan. Nothing.
Stolas is in shock - staring at the blank wall with a racing heart and tear-pricked eyes - and Moxxie… Stolas slowly, very slowly turns to look at Moxxie.
And he looks like he’s about to explode. He looks like he’s about to actually murder someone, and for a moment, Stolas is worried for his safety.
Moxxie trembles with anger and grabs out his gun, tail flicking from behind him wildly. He turns to Stolas and they reach eye-contact.
“Do you know how to use a gun?” He questions.
“No… Not really,” Stolas admits, fiddling with his sweater nervously.
That’s not on his mind, though. They have no way of getting to the human world, and he knows exactly what that means.
Stolas is going to have to face Octavia once again. And he needs to do it quickly. He needs to act quickly before those stupid assholes lay another finger on Blitzø.