Work Text:
The last time Aizawa was forcibly summoned to a “priority meeting” by Nezu, a squirrel had chewed through the security panel outside Class 1-B and someone tried to declare it their sidekick.
He’d known this would be worse.
But not how.
The signs were there: the handwritten “MANDATORY” on the memo, the suspicious inclusion of lemon cookies on the table, and most damning of all,
The meeting wasn’t chaired by Nezu.
It was chaired by Midoriya Izuku.
“Good afternoon, everyone,” Midoriya said brightly, standing at the head of the room like the ghost of public service announcements past. He was wearing his uniform, a patched-up jacket, and the terrifying, mild smile he used when preparing to drop psychological bombs.
Aizawa eyed the exit.
Nezu noticed.
“Windows are locked, Shouta,” he said with a tiny, too-pleased sip of tea. “For your safety, of course.”
Midnight raised a brow. “Since when is Izuku in charge of these?”
“He volunteered,” Nezu beamed. “And his presentation was too compelling to deny.”
“Presentation?” Power Loader echoed warily.
Midoriya clicked a remote.
The projector screen flickered to life.
Slide 1:
“U.A. STAFF – EMOTIONAL HEALTH ROUNDUP: HOW YOU’RE ALL STILL A MESS”
by Midoriya Izuku (The Only One Who’s Been to Therapy)
Mic audibly choked on his drink. Cementoss leaned back in his chair and folded his arms like he was about to be spiritually mugged. Recovery Girl just popped a lozenge in her mouth and watched the chaos unfold like it was her soap opera.
“Okay,” Midoriya began. “I want to thank everyone for coming to this emergency meeting of the Emotional Stability Task Force. Or, as Kaminari calls it, ‘The Crying Club.’”
Silence.
“I’m not here to accuse anyone,” he added quickly. “I’m just here to facilitate an honest dialogue about how none of you are okay, and how your untreated trauma trickles down like a bureaucratic waterfall onto the emotionally unstable teenagers in your care.”
Midnight raised her hand. “Am I allowed to be both offended and impressed?”
“Yes,” said Recovery Girl. “That’s the correct response.”
Slide 2:
“Signs You Might Be Emotionally Suppressed (Faculty Edition)”
- If you’ve slept in your work clothes more than 3 nights a week
- If your main form of self-care is ‘grudging silence’
- If your last compliment was ‘you did not die, good job’
- If your response to affection is violence or ‘hm’
Aizawa stared. “You made that last one up.”
“Sir, you say ‘hm’ more than anyone I’ve ever met. Including cats.”
Mic held up two fingers. “I counted seventeen in one conversation. It was a new record.”
Slide 3:
Pie Chart – “Hours Since You Last Processed a Feeling”
- 85%: Eraserhead
- 10%: Present Mic
- 3%: Power Loader
- 2%: Everyone else
- Honorable Mention: Nezu (Immeasurable chaos. Cannot be charted.)
“This is illegal,” Aizawa muttered.
“Emotional insight is not illegal,” Midoriya countered.
“I’m leaving.”
“No, you’re not,” said Nezu gently. “You signed a wellness clause. You’re contractually obligated to process at least one emotion per quarter.”
“I was sedated when I signed that.”
“You were tired,” Mic corrected.
“Same thing.”
Slide 4:
Case Study: Present Mic and the Concept of Rest
Mic blinked. “Why am I on a slide?!”
“You sent me a gif of a squirrel in sunglasses and then passed out in the staff lounge with half a cup of coffee balanced on your chest. That’s a cry for help.”
“It was adorable,” Mic protested.
“It was Wednesday morning,” Midoriya said flatly. “You were due to teach.”
“Oh shit. That was Wednesday.”
Slide 5:
Class 1-A – Observed Faculty Coping Mechanisms
- Aizawa: Sleep until emotionally rebooted, wake up feral
- Mic: Weaponized jokes
- Power Loader: Yells at walls
- Midnight: Actually processing emotions (we stan)
- Cementoss: Builds things. Concerned. Probably the most stable one here.
- All Might: …has he cried yet?
- Nezu: ???
- Nezu again: 🧪🧪🧪
“I’m honored,” said Nezu, bowing.
Slide 6:
Solutions That Won’t Make You Cry (Probably)
- Emotional accountability partners
- Monthly staff debriefs
- Actual therapy. Like. With a therapist.
- And finally: Let Midoriya run one quarterly group check-in
Silence.
Then:
“I’m going to fake my death,” Aizawa announced.
“No you’re not,” Recovery Girl said. “He would find you.”
Slide 7:
Closing Notes
“Students don’t heal in chaos. And neither do you. Please stop emotionally deferring your issues onto the children. They already have me. That’s enough.”
Mic let out a low whistle. “I’ve never been so attacked and so proud at the same time.”
Slide 8:
Bonus Round: “The Faces You Made During This Presentation”
The final slide was a mosaic of candid photos taken during the meeting.
Aizawa’s scowl.
Mic mid-choke.
Power Loader glaring at the chart.
All Might looking confused and holding a stress ball.
In the corner: Nezu, beaming with tiny sunglasses photoshopped onto him.
Title: “We Had Feelings and I Want a Refund”
ImJoy: I am emotionally raw and I blame the child
ImHorny: 10/10 presentation. Will cry again
Power Loader: i was halfway through a building redesign and now i have to journal
ImTired: i’m in my nap pod. do not @ me.
God: 🐾 We are all very proud of you. Therapy for everyone! 🐾
Ferret: next session is scheduled for next quarter. you’re welcome.
All Might: …what’s therapy
The space lurker: dear god not again