Chapter Text
She’s going to come back.
She always comes back.
She will come back and it will all go away.
It will go away?
It will go away!
It will, it will, it will, it will, it will...
‘VI, COME BACK I NEED YOU PLEASE… PLEASE COME BACK!!!’
She will come back. She will come back now. Right? Right? She will come back and everything will go away. Everything…
‘VIOLET VI PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME PLEASE!!!’
Blood and fire. Around. It’s real. Blood on the ground. And the goggles. I… I wanted to help. I didn’t want to. I wanted to help. I wanted to help. It’s not real. It can’t be real. It can’t be real. Please, it can’t be real. Please.
‘VI PLEASE COME BACK PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE’
Mouth is salty. Very salty. And full of something. I didn’t mean to. I messed up. I messed up. Now Vi is gone. She’ll come back. She’ll come back. She’ll come back. Please, please, please, please, I am not… I didn’t… I didn’t… I am not… Please…
‘PLE… PLEASE VI I NEED YOU PLEASE’
Steps. Someone is coming. Vi. She came back! She did, she always does, she did? It’s all foggy. Strange. Foggy and hazy, and bleary, and smoky. It was like that. Then Vi held me. And... And then... Warm arms. Strong. Cozy. Warm. All gone. All dead. All dead. All gone. It’s real. It can’t be real. Please please please please please it can’t be real. It can’t be. Please please please it can’t be.
‘P.... PLEASE COME BACK VI I .... PLEASE!!!’
There is nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. Very nothing. Ringing in ears. It worked. It worked so good. And it was supposed to help. I wanted to help. I needed to help. I wanted to help. I only... only wanted... only wanted to... There is blood. And... body. It can’t be. Please it can’t be. I didn’t mean to. I messed up. I messed up. Mylo was right. Was right. Vi said. No. Nonononononono. She will come back. She will come back for me. Please please please she will come back for me. Please.
There are steps. Real steps. But... but many, too many, too many, they all came back?? They ... they can’t. Dead. Can’t. All because of me. I only... I only wanted to help. I only wanted to help. Pleasepleaseplease. It’s all wet. Wet and weird. Weird and wet. Wet. Wet. Wet.
‘VIOLET!!!! VIOLET PLEASE... PLEASE’
Someone’s coming. Real. Really coming. Really.
‘Hello, little girl’
Powder raised her gaze. There were men. No Vi. Men. Not just men. Silco and his men. Silco…
Played with dolls. Long ago. Talked to mom. Long ago. Wanted to kill. Kill Vander. Kill Vi. Kill Mylo. Kill Claggor. Kill everyone. Kill me. But… It wasn’t him. It was me. I did it. I did it. I wanted to help. I was saving them. I was. I was. I was! I was!!!
Silco didn’t move. Just his hand did. Hiding behind the back. Vander did that, when tried to hide a present. And Vi too. Sometimes. But it’s not that. It’s not like that. At all. Powder blinked, eyes still full with tears and fog, and water.
And then – it happened.
BOOM.
But not the usual kind. Not the one with the crystal too. Very different kind. Kind of not kind of BOOM at all.
Rain stopped. No, not the sky. It stopped in the middle of the air. And fire too. And everything – just stopped. And then another man appeared. Out of nowhere. As if he always was there, but he wasn’t. White, tall, but thin, long even. He stood there, frozen, his back facing Powder. Silco looked. Ugly eye was dead, not ugly eye – Powder couldn’t see. But the other guy, ugly bald one, he muttered ‘What the fuck-‘. Or, at least, she thought he said that. Vi doesn’t like when she says that.
She said I’m jinx. She left me. She left. She will come back. She will come back! Will she? Please please please please please!
Thin white man gasped. Or coughed. Or said something. Powder wasn’t certain. It all sounded the same. Especially when there was no sound. At all.
Powder snorted. Then blinked again. And again. I did it. I did it. I didn’t mean to. I did it. I messed up. Mylo was right. Vi was right. I was… I did… I am…
BOOM.
The weird white man disappeared. Like he wasn’t there at all. Rain fell down. Sparkles from the fire and smoke crippled. And Powder...
RUN.
Run back. Behind the corner, behind the building and then…
If I ran back, maybe, it all will run back? Maybe? Maybe? Please? Please? I can fix it! Vi said I can fix everything. Fix it, fix it, fix it… Please…
But nothing changed. And nothing stopped. And so Powder ran blind with tears and rain. Ran past the bricks and walls, past the smoke and fire, past the boxes and crates, past the bags and the bodies, past everything and everyone.
‘Sure thing, now you run home!’ Mylo’s voice was as mocking as always. ‘Jinxed it all and ran away. Typical’
‘SHUT UP!!!!’ it was difficult to run, breathe, cry and scream at the same time, but Powder managed ‘I WAS SAVING YOU!!! I WAS SAVING YOU!!!’
‘Yeah, nothing saves you as a wall falling over you’
She screamed. Nobody paid any mind. One more screaming kid in the dark lane. Nothing new.
Violet, please please come back! Please! I need you please! I need you!
Powder stopped. She wasn’t anywhere near The Last Drop. She couldn’t even say where she was. But she was alone. All alone. No one was coming.
She left me. She said… she said I’m jinx. She left me. I was… I was trying to help. I was trying to help and… she left me. She would never… Please… Please… She would never… I… Please…
‘You were always a brat’, Vander sounded almost calm, ‘If I’d knew you’d be such a pain, I’d rather stick up with the revolution’
‘NononoNO!! Not… Not that! Not you! I DIDN’T MEAN TO! PLEASE! I… I DIDN’T! NOT YOU, please! PLEASE!’
Powder looked around. They were gone. All gone. But still talking.
Mylo snorted. ‘You gonna cry again? Really good idea. Let’s all hope Powder the Crybaby save the day. Works really good, every single time’
‘Stop’, she whispered, ‘Please… just stop’
Claggor just looked. Silently. Blood on his goggles. Blood on his face. He didn’t say a word. Not a single one. Just shook his head. Or not… Please… Why is everything so…
‘STOP IT!!! PLEASE STOP!!!’
Powder slammed her hands over her ears. It added more ringing, but not much else.
‘I didn’t mean to’, she sobbed, then blew her nose into her sleeve. Vander always chastised her for that. Not an easy task to get washing done in this dump of a place. But Vander was no more. He was left there, lying and unmoving. In blood. His blood.
‘I didn’t mean to’, Powder repeated weakly, blinking and staring to the ground. Dirty, slimy and dark ground, ‘I didn’t... It was for you. Please... I made it all for you! To save you! To... To... So you won’t... So you all won’t... And...’
Tears still chocked her. But there were steps behind, heavy and hasty. Powder shook her head, and everything went fuzzy and weird looking. And then she ran. Or she thought she ran. And everyone else ran with her. Only they didn’t.
Bricks, walls, glass, steel, wood, meat, blood, rugs, dirt, fog, bricks, stones. Everything was a mess, everything was twitching and twisting before her eyes. And she ran.
Run. Just run. Just run. Just run.
Blood under fingers. Slippy, shaky ground. Or not the ground? Everything was circling around, turning and shaking, up and down, up and down. Mylo was quiet, but Powder felt his gaze. Just like she felt it in the morning. And yesterday. And day before that too.
‘SHUT UP!!! I DIDN’T MEAN TO! I DIDN’T!!!’
Cat jumped from under her feet with a single short squeal.
Birdwings flopping. Rain is dropping. Alone… Alone… Please… I… Please… VIOLET PLEASE COME BACK!!!
But nobody came. And she didn’t stop.
More brick. More planks. More tiles.
‘Run all you want, you can’t hide forever’, Mylo said in sing-song voice.
‘SHUT UP!’, tears and snot, and blood, and water, ‘STOP IT! I MESSED UP, OKAY?! I MESSED UP! HAPPY?? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW???’
‘I’m dead, Jinx. The fuck would I be happy about?’ Mylo took a pause, smug face grimaced. Smugly. ‘Dead because of YOU’
‘I didn’t MEAN TO!’, Powder coughed and blubbered, ‘I WAS SAVING YOU! You weren’t supposed to… WHY DO YOU… Why did she… IT’S ALL WRONG!’
He didn’t reply. Of course, he didn’t. Why would a dead jerk talk to her in the first place? It’s just stupid. Stupid and stupid, and… stupid.
Pipes and bricks. And more planks. And glass. Broken glass, broken glass, I broke everything. Just like Vi said. I can fix it. I... I need to fix it. I can’t, I can’t please please pleasepleaseplease Violet please come back!!!
Powder suddenly realised she is running no more. Or was she climbing? Or jumping? Or crawling? It was hard to say. Everything was so fuzzy and messed. All in blood, and water, and tears, and everything else.
She shuddered. It was cold and wet. And green. And dark. And wet. Powder’s teeth chattered from the cold, fingers dug deep into the legs, but she still couldn’t feel them.
Please come back… Please please please, Violet, please come back! I need you please please I need you please please please…
‘Hey’, sudden voice appeared. Not Vi’s. Someone else’s. Someone’s, ‘Hey, are you okay?’
Powder blinked off her tears and looked up. A girl didn’t look like Vi. At all. She was slimmer. And with hair blue. Powder blinked again.
Me? Is it…? I…
‘Are you okay?’