Chapter Text
Another morning, another excuse to see you.
I watch you walk to your locker, talking and laughing with your friends, like every morning.You notice the eyes on you as you walk down the hall, you ignore them at this point, used to the constant gaze. You probably would have noticed me if you didn’t tune that all out, but I don’t mind, I promise I really don’t, I like how you ignore the eyes. I just need to figure out how I can get you to pay attention to mine, start being thankful for mine.
Noticing your thin fingers wrap around your text book makes me ache, I picture how beautiful they’d feel on me, soft and faintly cold against the warmth of my chest, I take a deep breath shaking my head out from the thought of you under me, grabbing my books as-well. First period. My class with you, God you look so beautiful today, everyday , but you’re absolutely beaming this morning. Watching you so happy and giddy makes a soft smile flash on my lips, but then it fades. I wonder why, no, who made you so happy. I think I know who already of course, William.
He’s not in this class with us, thank God for that, but I saw him speaking to you. Before you even came into school today, I watched you park your car, grab your things getting ready to go into school, but someone stops you. It’s him. William. You call him Will, hearing his name on your tongue brings a sick feeling to my stomach, that should be me. I watch as he mumbles something to you. I couldn’t quite catch what it was, you smile, a beautiful smile, and you nod at him smiling, still gleaming up at his ugly fucking face.
We don’t have second period together, that’s okay though, I know your schedule, I know your friends, I’ll be able to figure out what William said to you before next hour ends. And by then I’ll have already thought of thousands of ideas to make you give me a smile way brighter than you ever gave that idiot. I see your friend group as I walk into my classroom. I hate having to be near them, listening to their stupid superficial conversations almost makes me snap my pencil in half, then they mention you.
“Did you see her yet today” Your blonde friend spills out
“She’s been non stop talking about him”
I know who she’s talking about. She’s talking about William, but why, why can’t you just see how that meathead isn’t good for you.
“He finally asked her today you know” She continues
Asked what? My fist clenches so hard I can feel my picked at and bitten nails start to cut my palm
“What did she say” The one with the brown hair finally responds, she seems uninterested in your life, she’s a bad friend.
“What do you think she said, obviously she said yes, she’s been obsessed with Will for as long as I can remember, you should have seen how happy she was telling me” The blonde one drones on.
I let their conversation fade into the background. I know what to do now, I know how i can make you finally see me, I’ll take you to prom, and I’ll make it perfect.
I worked hard, all night i worked on the perfect plan. I bought flowers, your favorite color, they make your eyes pop so beautifully. I got your favorite candy too, I remember watching you eat them every day after lunch as a treat. This could be , no, it has to be perfect. You will be my prom queen, and tonight I’ll be your king, and it will be perfect. I put on my vest, the one my parents said makes me look so handsome, I comb my hair to the side, and I find my only dress shoes in the back corner of my closet. I stare into the mirror, I can do it, you’ll see me this time, you’ll know, you’ll feel it like I do.
I’m early, the only other cars in parking lot are the staff. My hands are shaking lightly, I can’t stop thinking about you, about what you’ll say. I know you’ll say yes, you’re a smart girl, you’ll see how much I can really value you. I spend about ten minutes just trying to calm my breaths as I wait to see your car pull in. And then I do, I see your car, I see your silhouette from behind the windshield, my hands start to shake again. I step out of my car slow, grabbing your flowers and candy, I make my way over to your car, I see you inside grabbing your things back faced towards me as I walk up. When you step out of the car you look up at me, I freeze for a second, but just a second, and then I speak
“Hey I- Hey listen, I don’t know if you have a date or not yet”
I lie
“But if you don’t I’d, I’d absolutely love to take you, it would really be… an honor. It’s just, I’ve seen you around a little before and, you are just, just very beautiful and, I’d love to take you to prom”
My eyes flash up to meet yours. They are looking around, trying to avoid my gaze, but your body betrays you, always pulling them right back into mine. They really are so lovely, I see the question, the confusion in your eyes.
I hold the flowers out to you, the candy too. I’m waiting for you to take them from me, maybe jump into my arms and let me finally smell your hair up close, but you don’t. You laugh, you laughed at me. Why? Why can’t you see how perfect I am, no, how perfect we are. It’s okay, the laugh, it hurt, yes it hurt, but I can forgive you. You’ll see how beautiful we really can be together, even if I have to force it a bit. I’ll make you feel it, and when I bring you home to meet my family, they’ll love you. They’ll be so proud of me. You’ll see, and then you can really, truly be happy. Soon you’ll be under me looking up at me smiling in a way that that fucking William asshole would never get the privilege of seeing, and it will be the most perfect thing I ever get to witness.