Chapter Text
Seonghwa completed the final touches on his project. He quickly reviewed everything, including his PowerPoint slides, taking a moment to commit some minor details to memory for his presentation. As he exhaled, he recognized he had been holding his breath—a habit he developed before presenting to the other bosses about his latest project. He had a familiar inkling about how it would all go, just as it always had.
Anxiety became his friend; it clung to his mind and made him believe those little negative demons that roamed and made him regret going to work some days, especially when he had to face the other department bosses. His team, on the other hand, kept him sane and afloat. They all appreciated him for his efforts and he always got the best compliments from his little group of people he oversaw which made him feel better about his leadership at least—
The company had more progressive stances with lingering traditional values and he being one of the bosses and an omega was pushing those boundaries.
Before his promotion, he got along with everyone. He watched his old teammates climb the ranks, watched them flourish in their position and he was always proud of their advancements. He didn’t think much of his own, at first, but the ones he called his employees now, always had more faith in him than he could conjure up himself. They praised his work ethic and continually told him to go for higher positions so he wasn’t stuck where he was forever because he was still young and had time to progress.
So, he took his chance, a leap of faith, and it landed him right in the position he was in now, manager of his small department centered around Human Resources and it really felt as if things were heading in the right direction for his life. And things had started out well; his transition from teammate to manager went smoothly and he had received nothing but positive feedback from everyone.
It didn’t last long, however. The ones he saw progress in their role to managers before him, began to almost look down on him. Their conversations were stagnant and sometimes he was outright ignored, and at first, he couldn’t understand the sudden shift of demeanor. He noticed the eye rolls and the scoffs that left him in a state of confusion of wondering what he’d done wrong, but then it clicked after he heard a conversation that definitely wasn’t meant for his ears.
“Tsk, he only got the position because the senior manager fancies him!”
“I never really understood what the team saw in him to begin with.”
“Leave it to an omega to spur the tone of the workforce.”
“The role he’s in now is easy anyways; anyone can do HR work.”
Yes, he understood.
For a company that was quite progressive in the aspects of treating clientele with respect and even has their entire business model based around general equality, Seonghwa couldn’t even wrap his head around why he had to be treated as such; why hadn’t the concept of treat those as you wanted to be treated translate inside the workforce? Was it jealousy? Was it skills? Was it the fact he got something he didn’t deserve— No, don’t think like that.
This was where his doubts began to develop. He was more careful with his words, cautious with how he addressed certain situations with the other managers and every once in a while, a little jab at his work did make him second guess himself a lot. He took criticism well, but when the nitpicking began, which was basically a form of berating, it didn’t sit well with him.
Despite the increasingly unwelcoming atmosphere, Seonghwa genuinely enjoyed his job. He thrived on problem-solving and creating strategies to support the business's success. As the manager, he was responsible for ensuring a smooth employee experience in all aspects. However, since he also needed to consult with his boss and other department managers, the process often became complicated.
Speaking of which, he gathered up his project material and headed towards the meeting room. He reached there early just so he could set up the presentation, laying out a printed copy of highlighted notes, and also taking a few moments to organize his thoughts and not overthink everything. Of course, the nerves ate him alive, but he was used to masking his anxiousness unfortunately quite well. He just had to get through this meeting then he could go home and take the edge off because he had a strong feeling he was going to need it.
Soon, everyone started to enter, settling into their seats and offering Hwa tentative smiles as they glanced at the paper before them. His senior manager was present too and was the sole person to give him a sincere smile and an encouraging nod, which provided him with a slight sense of comfort. As he gazed out at the crowd, he felt his hands tremble slightly, so he clenched them into fists for a moment and took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves
Come on Seonghwa, you can do it.
“Come on, Park, we’re all here you can get started.” The snarky remarks from one of the bosses, Chaesu, made him flinch a little, but he wouldn’t let such rushing deter him or his presentation.
“Right. I gather everyone to talk about our business model and goals. We’re all well versed in what our company wants to achieve, so I wanted to highlight that and present a way via a merit system that helps encourage employees to help each other out and when good deeds are viewed, the merit system will come in place.” That seemed to have gotten some attention, some whispers that were cut short when he cleared his throat.
He then went to his slideshow presentation. A few slides talked about the business vision with clientele and the usual inquiries until he made it to the main point.
“Here I present to you all Starlink. This is a point-based system that everyone throughout the company can use. With this, I know a lot of employees had wondered about how their efforts aren’t wholeheartedly appreciated, so I figured with this system, it would begin to recognize our employees for all they do—”
“Not to interrupt, but would that cause even more hostility amongst employees to outdo each other?” Chaesu interrupted him which, in turn, took him aback for a moment as he wasn’t prepared to raise comments in the middle of the presentation.
“As the managers of your group, it would be up to you who receive such compensation. Employees can also give points as well and must be approved by the manager.” He explained and others seemed to nod their heads in acknowledgment, his senior manager giving him a thumbs up of approval. Seonghwa continued giving examples and even mentioned the different gift cards anyone could achieve and the more he talked, the more light he felt, and the weight of his words became more fluid and confident as he ended with a closing statement:
“We all work hard and deserve some good graces and with this system, I think we could live in an even nicer work environment.” After he finished his words, he dismissed everyone, of course, they lingered for a while and Hwa knew and prepared mentally for any unnecessary comments.
“Good job, Seonghwa. Everyone seems to like this idea, including myself, and the next step is to take it up with the VP and CEO and we could definitely get this implemented within the new year!” That excited him. After working so much and trying to come up with things for the employees, it felt good knowing he was leaving a lasting impression enough for this system to be made. And he knew it would take some time with all the technical stuff, but his vision was on the horizon.
“Thank you, Mr. Chang—”
“You know you don’t have to be formal with me, just call me Daeyoung.” He received a pat on the shoulder before his boss left.
He spent the rest of the time clearing up his presentation, feeling a little bummed out by the fact the others didn’t take his printed presentation copy. Nevertheless, he was ready to head back and finish the rest of his actual work, but before he got far he was stopped by Chaesu— great, that was the last person he wanted to talk to.
“Hey, Park, thanks for explaining your presentation. Caring about the well-being of this place is very omega of you— in a good way, don’t misconstrue my words.” Seonghwa tried to keep his cool because the comment was unnecessary considering his job was to literally keep the workplace stress and drama-free.
“Thanks…” His response was cut and dry, pointedly trying to ignore him.
“But I did have a question that I discussed with the others a bit ago: where are you going to get this compensation from? An incentive like this can’t just be free.”
“That part is still up for discussion. There’s still a few little things I’m working on as my presentation was just an overview and vision I have—”
“Well, hopefully, it’s not coming out of our pockets. You’d get a lot of employees upset if they get their pay cut for your little ‘incentive’ plan.” The condescending smirk followed by concealed laughter from the others only served to make Hwa a bit paranoid about everything he just presented. “But I’m sure you’ll figure it out; you’re HR after all so you know the right thing.” God, Seonghwa hated this kind of speech of undermining him but then tried to butter him up.
He paid them no mind for a few moments, wondering if he should respond or just leave, but a bit of his pride was on the line and he didn’t want them to have the last word either.
“I will figure it out. My boss is taking it to the VP and CEO and I’ll hear what they have to say about it. Now, excuse me, I have other work to be finished.” With that, Seonghwa had brushed past the group of men and headed back to his little cubicle.
He never realized how closed in and suffocated he felt in the cube, surrounded by walls and just the overhead lighting of the office illuminating the area only showed off how… grey everything was. He sighed, putting away his materials before reviewing a few emails about time off requests and other miscellaneous matters. The words from Chaesu kept repeating in his mind as he just did his best to shake yet another jab at not only something he spent ample time coming up with but also his sub-gender.
He finished up his work day which, thankfully wasn’t much longer due to his presentation. He shut down his computer, gathered his belongings, and left the building quickly just so he didn’t run into anyone when his brain was spiraling. When he got in his car, he took a few moments to breathe; he heard breathing exercises helped when he got a tad bit more panicky than usual. God, he hated feeling this way, he hated how his mind took even the smallest inconvenience and turned it into an endless cycle of overthinking his faults.
A lot of work days ended like this with him having to remember how to breathe and ease the tightness in his chest so it didn’t become a full-on attack.
Seonghwa had finally reached his home, stress heightened as he stepped through his door. The first thing he did was let out a huge sigh, plopping on his couch and just wishing his brain would stop spinning and supplying him with thoughts of impending doom at his place of work. Everything is fine; they always say weird things to you, just prove them wrong— what if I’m wrong? What if my idea doesn’t go through and I become a laughingstock of the company? What if I get demoted? What if—
Soft meows could be heard as he felt a little head knock against his leg. His small, furry friend melted away his worries (or at least distracted him for the time being) and soon the ragdoll kitty jumped right in his lap, making biscuits on his thigh.
“Hey Nova, did you miss me?” The purrs were enough of an answer as she stretched up to his face and rubbed her wet nose on his cheek. “Oh, come on I leave every day— wait, you just want food, don’t you? So much for caring about me.” The cat yelped happily, quickly getting off of him before zooming over to the food stash as she knew it was feeding time.
Seonghwa was happy that he had a companion; living by himself would make him get too much in his head and obviously, a cat wasn’t always going to be the answer but having a feline friend was something and he loved Nova so much like she truly was his child. Just laying in her fluffy, long hair sometimes was a stress relief. He got her bowl and one of the cans of food and fixed her dinner, setting it out next to the water fountain as he watched her eat to her heart's content.
He soon went back and sat on the couch turning the TV on so it could further drown out all the buzzing thoughts in his mind. It’s the weekend; just take it easy and relax and reassess work things on Monday. The thing about Seonghwa was that he was a constant overthinker. He would continuously hold onto a situation like a grudge even if it wasn’t necessarily negative. He always dealt with that steady tightening in his chest that bubbled up to his throat and made him just feel awful sometimes. Anxiety, in general, only got worse as he got older and into the real world with a real job and the pressure of trying to and hoping to do good always gnawed at the back of his head, chipping away bits of his rationale.
He was overthinking already—
Then his phone rang which he was beyond thankful for so he wouldn’t have to sit in his thoughts and especially since it was from one of his best friends, Wooyoung. He had a skeptical feeling about having a phone call as they usually just text so he wasn’t entirely sure how to prepare for whatever conversation would be intended.
“Hello?”
“It's about time! You answered on the very last ring. Don’t tell me you’d ignore me, your best friend.”
Of course, the little menace would be this dramatic.
“What do you want?” Hwa didn’t mean for his voice to sound so strained, clearing his throat afterward.
“Woah, who pissed in your cereal— oh, don’t tell me that weirdo asshole is still being a dick to you. If I knew any better I’d say he had a crush on you with the way he acts.” Seonghwa let out a fake gag upon hearing that.
“Don’t ever say that to me again… on the contrary, he’s just… it’s not like he’s wholeheartedly mean to me but just certain words do affect me and I never know how to handle them and it’s not just him either.”
“Dude, you’re HR you can literally handle him and anyone yourself.” That wasn’t necessarily untrue, but he didn’t really have hard evidence besides just his brain making everything 100 times worse than it really was.
“It’s not that easy, and plus, sometimes I just doubt myself in general and it makes me feel like I’m not doing the right thing in life. Sometimes I just blank out and have to grasp at straws to come back to reality because my brain is just buzzing so much…” He didn’t mean to unload baggage that had been festering for months, the weight on his shoulder sinking him lower and lower each day that he knew sometimes it felt like he was just trudging through the motions. Maybe he did need the phone call after all to fully understand and unleash his emotions.
“You know, I tell you this all the time, but it’s never too late for a career change. If you’re beginning to feel unhappy where you are, just do something else. You’re young and smart so I have no doubts in my mind you could do something you enjoy even more.”
“It’s not easy to just—”
“I never said it would be easy. You have your entire life ahead of you. Weigh your options and look within yourself for what makes you happy and what could be a different career.” Seonghwa sighed; he knew Woo was right, he always was. To Hwa, it just felt like with being a manager, there was just nowhere else to move up to. He didn’t think he could be a director or anything higher, but he also had to ask himself the question of do you want to stay here until retirement? Also a different career path? That was incredulous and it wasn’t like he had any other talents beyond his business degree and certificates.
“I’ll think about it… sorry for being a downer you obviously called about something and I didn’t mean to take the conversation away from you and—”
“Seonghwa, relax. This only made the reason I called even more important! Wanna go out tonight and get wasted?” He loved the enthusiasm; he should have known Woo was up to no good, however, the thought of liquor numbing his mind sounded delightful.
“Isn’t this the worst coping mechanism ever?” He laughed a little as Woo sneered.
“Hey, I’m not trying to turn you into an alcoholic, but I can sense that you do need some time out, good vibes, maybe some dick—”
“God, I knew you’d say that and I don’t need that, thank you very much— not after the last few times…” Hwa quickly reminisced about those few times when he mistakenly ended up in a few beds after nights of drinking. He was bolder when he had liquid courage and he also didn’t have any self-control granted, everything was still pretty consensual but still wasn’t his best choice.
He felt like going out did help him feel a bit more alive, especially lately when he wasn’t feeling too excited about work and even thinking about it would every so often fill him with dread. He needed a little thrill in his life after all as working had seemed to slowly suck the life out of him.
“Whatever! So, wanna get fucked up tonight?”
“Fine, let me go get ready.” He was reluctant, but it would definitely make him feel better.
“Fuck yeah! I’ll be there in an hour and you better look hot as fuck tonight. The more revealing the better!”
“Didn’t I just say I don’t need that right now?” He could practically feel Woo roll his eyes over the phone.
“You definitely do. And even still, you can have dumb alphas fall to their knees for you and they can buy your drinks; AMM, alpha male manipulation; a bunch of knot brain idiots I swear.”
“But you’re an alpha!” Hwa’s mock exasperation made his cat come over; he was soon accompanied by Nova and he started to pet her.
“Well yes, but I’m not a knot-brain idiot!”
“A knot brain idiot? No, but definitely a normal idiot.”
“Hey!”
“I say that with love and affection! Now, I’m gonna go get ready so I’ll see you in an hour.”
The call ended and Hwa ran a hand through his hair wondering if this was a good idea after all. He should worry about the night after getting ready; dressing up also made him feel better and boosted his confidence a tiny bit. The more revealing, the better! Woo’s words replayed in his head like a little devil on his shoulder. Hwa knew he was probably in for a long night.
Since he had an hour, he took a shower first to wash the office off of him. He did some skincare and actually decided to dig into his makeup which he hadn’t done since the last time they went out which had been a few months. He would do makeup for work, but he didn’t want any other words spoken to him about how he took care of himself. It wasn’t like he was doing full glam or anything, but also he didn’t want to be stereotyped either. So he took his time, doing a full base routine, and added some eyeliner, a tinted lip gloss, and mascara, and even if it was a simple look, his features were enhanced greatly.
Next, Seonghwa had to figure out an outfit to wear. He was so tired of being stuck in suits and vests because of work that he settled on a black tube top matched with a red flannel long sleeve since it was a little chilly. He debated on whether or not he should wear a skirt or maybe shorts with tights underneath— would that be overkill? It would be revealing, but he didn’t want to get too much attention since he wasn’t looking for sex that night plus the weather, but he’d be indoors mostly so it would be kind of warm in a crowd— why is he overthinking?
Seonghwa shook his head and decided to just wear a pair of jeans due to the weather and he wouldn’t have to keep thinking about it. He got a pair of ripped jeans and then put his hair in a half up half down look; he would always thank Wooyoung for making him dye his hair something for once and it turned out really good; silver really suited him. Now he had to think about the shoes to wear. Sneakers were always a safe option but he also had his Doc Martens that had a small heel to them and would definitely fit whatever vibe he was going for. He chose Doc Martens immediately so he didn’t sit for five minutes debating with himself about shoes.
After a once-over, he deemed himself ready and with some time to spare. He decided to tidy up a little, putting away the makeup he used and made his bed and other miscellaneous things. He also took a moment to dig in his bedside drawer and pull a few condoms out just in case. Soon, he moved back to his living room and played with Nova for a bit, watching her go crazy on her little bird toy. It was moments like these when he felt so content, so at ease and actually felt as if his mind wasn’t so busy and was reminded of the little things in life.
Some time had passed and Seonghwa was just mindlessly strolling on his phone as Nova had curled up next to him and fell asleep. A few moments later, she was startled by the ring of the doorbell and Hwa got up to go answer it. Wooyoung stood proudly with his little ponytail, low-cut top with a blue half skirt over his jeans. He looked amazing as always, flaunted around and definitely enjoyed breaking the stereotypical alpha norms.
“Oh, you look hot as fuck; let’s go! I can’t wait to get drunk off my ass and confuse the alphas.” Hwa rolled his eyes and shook his head. Honestly, Woo’s spiced cinnamon scent alone would confuse people over his outfit.
“I’m not drinking that much… just fyi.”
“You say that, but the club we’re going to has half off drink and free first two shots tonight, so yes, you’re gonna get fucked up— but, enjoy it! You need a good time and distress.”
“I can do that without overdoing it.” He said sternly with no real heat attached to his words.
“Sure, but do you wanna deal with drunk me when you can be equally as drunk?” It wasn’t a good point, but a point nonetheless considering Woo could simply not overdo it either.
“Let’s just go and see how I feel—”
“Wait! Let me go say hi to my niece first.” Wooyoung ran past him inside and began petting and playing with Nova before zooming back out.
The weather was kind to them, a bit warmer for December, but luckily it wasn’t raining, clear night skies. Woo had gotten them an Uber out of precaution of both of them being too inebriated to drive back. The Uber dropped them off a few blocks away from their destination because Woo decided that he wanted to get a quick bite and that’s when Hwa realized he hadn’t eaten since lunch because he forgot about it. Being too anxious clearly curbed his appetite. Also, drinking on an empty stomach wouldn’t be the best idea either.
They ate their food, a simple bowl of ramen and a small meat platter because if they were truly going to be drinking a lot he needed to make sure he wouldn’t throw up so easily. After that, they two hit the streets, walking a small bit to the club as Wooyoung simply talked his ear off about his day.
Walking at night with his best friend with the slight chilly breeze felt… refreshing. The fog in his mind was clearing already and the nerves about even going out began to dissipate and Seonghwa truly believed he would have a good night. See other people walk the streets bar hopping almost made him feel like his college days (as if it hadn’t only been like 6 years)
For these moments, he wasn’t a corporate manager, he was just Seonghwa.
They arrived at the club, immediately hit by the mixed senses, loud music, and sheer amount of people jammed into the area. They showed off their IDs then Woo dragged him to the bar to Hwa’s immediate displeasure. Despite his early claims of not drinking so much, the very moment he sat down at the bar, two shots were in front of him— the two free shots thing wasn’t a joke after all.
One unfortunate thing about Seonghwa was that he was a lightweight. He couldn’t hold his liquor no matter how much he tried to attempt to gain a higher tolerance and his body simply didn’t handle alcohol as easily. Wooyoung had downed his shots the moment they were placed in front of him, meanwhile, Hwa eyed them while mentally preparing in the last few moments of sanity.
He downed the first shot with a grimace, feeling the burn in his throat as it settled warmly in his stomach. The second shot went down a bit easier and only then did the bartender give him a complimentary apple juice chaser.
“Another round, please and I would like to start a tab!” Woo had spoken to the bartender who was already refilling one of their shot glasses. The two shots alone were already making Seonghwa’s head get fuzzy as he blinked slowly just to see if he was, in fact, okay. Wooyoung soon slung an arm over his shoulder, raising his shot glass up to him with a cheeky grin. “Cheers to the fucking weekend!” If Seonghwa didn’t know any better, he’d think Woo was some deranged frat boy.
“Cheers…” Hwa raised his shot glass, and clinged it against Woo’s before tapping it on the table and taking the shot together— it didn’t burn that much that time.
He was in for a long night.
The club was becoming more lively by the hour and Seonghwa was also becoming more inebriated. Usually, his drunkenness was in stages: first, he’d become more talkative to anyone who was as intoxicated as him. Next, he’d dance more, he’d grind on girls and guys alike, and begin feeding off the attention he received. When he was on the verge of dropping like a fly from bug spray, he would sing louder and begin to stumble and slur his words so badly that no one could comprehend him.
Drink after drink, he could feel his body begin to detach from itself. He didn’t have a single thought of work or his project or those alpha managers who he’d always had scrutiny with. None of that mattered in the moment, no one could make him feel bad and any memory of that day was shoved so far down and replaced by yet another fruity cocktail.
Within two hours, Seonghwa probably consumed more alcohol than anyone should. Woo had gone off dancing around, leaving him to fend for himself. He did dance and make out with a few people and realized how much he missed some level of intimacy— plus he was too drunk to really care about what he was doing because sober him wouldn’t kiss random people or, in those drunken moments, considered going home with someone as a few have offered. He couldn’t locate Woo and he’d feel bad for leaving him alone anyway.
Hwa found himself at the bar with his head lying on the bar top, mumbling and groaning because he’d gotten so dizzy he was surprised he managed to not collapse on the floor from any moment of standing. He heard a glass being placed next to him, glossy eyes looking up and seeing what looked to be a glass of water. His heavy head raised as he grabbed the glass sipping the ice-cold liquid.
“I hope you know you’re done for tonight. And I closed your friends' tab too. He said to me earlier he would pay me in a different way, whatever that entails…. but if not, could you pay please?” The bartender spoke and it just sounded completely garbled. It took a few moments for the words to finally register what was spoken to him.
“Yeah…” He spoke, patting himself for his wallet, and was glad it was still in his pocket. He fished his card out and handed it to the bartender before receiving it back. “Thanks… for water.” He slurred as he began gulping down the glass.
“Please, put your wallet back in your pocket…” Hwa still had his wallet open and exposed and then he put it away.
“Wait… wait can I get… one more shot? Just one more I swear…” Hwa was such a mess and the bartender was rather reluctant.
“Last one. Then you should find your friend and go home and sober up.”
“Thanks…” Hwa squinted at the name tag.” “Thanks Sam…”
“It’s San…” That just made Seonghwa giggle uncontrollably before he took his last shot of the night. And, well, something about that last shot absolutely obliterated the last threads of comprehension he had. He stumbled a few times through the lessened crowd of people, trying to focus enough to find Wooyoung.
His drunken state made it nearly impossible to locate his friend and he was beginning to not feel good. He needed his own search and rescue honestly and in the midst of looking, a guy had stopped him, a hand immediately grabbing his hip.
“Hey sexy, you tryna get out of here?”
“Looking for Woo…. m’ friend… looking for my friend…” He was practically being held up by this stranger as his inability to stand was dwindling.
“He’ll show up… come on, I want to have some fun tonight.”
“No! I… my friend. Where’s Wooyoung? Gotta find him.” He did his best to walk, but immediately stumbled into someone else—
At that moment he blacked out, no recollection of the stranger or the person he stumbled into as everything just went black.
— —
Seonghwa woke up with a headache from hell and a queasy stomach. His vision was blurred for a moment before he registered his surroundings— he was not in his room which was concerning and made him instantly panic. He wasn’t naked which was kind of good, but he wasn’t in his clothes either which raised his concerns. However, the panic plus his queasy stomach made him heave and thankfully there was a trash can next to him as he threw up into it.
He felt like absolute shit.
When his brain stopped being fuzzy and his stomach emptied its content, he took a moment to try to remember anything from the night prior. He was still worried about his situation, his mind spinning and he was physically dizzy and wanted to get up, but his body just felt too heavy and the bed was also way more comfortable than his own. He looked around the room, seeing it mostly empty with a bathroom attached and the nightstand that, upon further looking, had what looked to be a note.
Curiously, Seonghwa grabbed the note and blinked a few times in hopes the note answered the plethora of questions he had.
Don’t freak out.
Easier said than done…
You’re in my spare bedroom, scent-neutralized so you don’t feel too off-put.
Well, at least this person was thoughtful enough because he was a bit sensitive to certain scents.
If you’re wondering about your clothes, they are in the dryer now; you threw up on them and the ones you’re wearing were also scent-neutralized because I’m an alpha and I wasn’t too sure about your sub-gender.
Very considerate so far— Hwa had to take a moment because reading was giving him a massive headache.
There are some painkillers in the top drawer of the table you found in this letter. Your wallet is there and so is your phone which is also charging and you probably have a lot of messages which wasn’t my business so I let it be.
Oh, how convenient. Seonghwa did just that and also there was a small water bottle next to it. He took the meds and gulped down the water like he’d been in a desert for ages searching for an oasis.
You might be wondering where I am, but I’m at work right now. If you happen to stay, I’ll be back around 6 PM. You can hang out in bed or watch TV, I don’t mind since I live on my own. My cat Grami is around and he likes new people so if you spot him, he’s very friendly.
It was quite bizarre that a random stranger was even offering him so much… There had to be some catch, but Hwa wasn’t even sure what that would entail. The possibility of being held captive came to mind and honestly, he didn’t need that much more anxiety than he already had.
If you don’t want to stay then you can just leave and pretend I never existed. My address is below if you want to get a taxi or Uber as well as my number if you ever want to call me but again, you can just go your merry way like this never happened.
Seonghwa was skeptical, however, but he also did feel relieved that nothing bad had happened to him in general.
If you need anything else, you can message me here at xxx-xxxx. Hope you have a good rest of your day or maybe see you later. Also it’s quite cold today so you can take the leather jacket hanging over the couch with you; I have plenty so no worries and it should fit you fine.
-Kim Hongjoong.
Yes, this was beyond insane, maybe even unorthodox. His stomach rumbled, feeling famished and he figured he could take up the offer this mysterious man had proposed. He finally looked at his phone with many missed phone calls and messages from Wooyoung he did feel bad because he got way too drunk last night that he blacked out and some random stranger just took him away— they seemed nice, but Hwa wasn’t always too keen on alphas even if they did show some common decency.
He sent a quick message to Woo about how he was alive and fine and that he’d be home in about an hour and they could meet up and talk this all out.
“Hehe, I was worried and then I just assumed you actually got some dick! Could have at least told me :(”
One thing Seonghwa did remember was the fact he couldn’t find Woo at all that night and maybe he was just so intoxicated he wasn’t really trying. Nevertheless, he finally managed to get up out of bed, grabbed his belongings in the room (including the letter), and even grabbed his throw-up bag to throw away. He took note of his outfit, just a plain white t-shirt and grey sweatpants that he was happy they were the same size in clothing at least. It crossed his mind that this stranger dressed him in these clothes and that was a little off-putting, but clearly, he was too drunk to do anything himself.
Per the offer, he scrounged around for the kitchen and took a few snacks, eating them as he ordered his Uber. Then he heard a cheerful meow followed by a small orange fur ball come into view. Ah, so this must be Grami. The cat kept knocking his head against his leg to fully rub his face into Hwa’s sweatpants while purring loudly. He took a picture of the cute little guy before leaning down and petting him, receiving playful bites and scratches he was used to getting from Nova.
After that, he went to grab his stuff from the dryer and absolutely loved the detergent used to clean his clothes; he took a mental note of the name of it. His Uber was near so he did one last look at the inside of the place and grabbed the leather jacket offered to him before leaving. He felt bad for taking such fine leather, but he figured it was a way he could meet and return it while also saying how thankful and grateful he was.
One thing for sure, it seemed like this scent was also neutralized, but there was a hint of something that Hwa could smell. Barely a hint of citrus linger with a small smokiness to it. It wasn’t noticeable enough, but it definitely was a unique scent. He was glad the jacket was offered because it had gotten colder than yesterday and the leather jacket kept him warmer than walking out in just a t-shirt. The Uber had arrived on time and soon he was off back to his home with still so many questions in his mind.
He reached his home and immediately collapsed on the couch the moment he stepped inside. He was greeted by a hungry Nova who had knocked a few things over in his absence, thankfully nothing important. She sniffed him and let out a small hiss and he forgot he’d been rubbed against by another cat recently. Once he got her food, the feline was as happy as could be. Hwa was much too exhausted to cook a real meal for himself so he messaged Woo that he made it home and was ordering food in which got the other there much earlier than intended so they could share a much-needed meal.
“Dude, tell me the deets! Was the guy good in bed? I can’t believe you left with someone without letting me know, but if you’re getting dicked down I’ll accept it.” Woo came in like a hurricane with questions and gave him an encouraging head nod and a shoulder nudge when he was about to burst his bubble.
“I told you already, we didn’t do anything. I honestly don’t know what happened last night or who the guy is because I was so drunk… I’m never drinking again. Plus you abandoned me,” He groaned, his memory serving to fail him.
“Well, where were you then? Kind of weird being at a stranger's place without the sex aspect.”
“I literally don’t know. The guy left me a letter and washed my clothes, dressed me, and let me eat snacks and take this jacket. He took care of me even if he wasn’t physically there. I did get his number, but I’m nervous about even messaging him… I should just pretend it never happened… I forgot everything about last night anyway.” He proceeded to show Woo the letter.
“Hey! Maybe this could be your chance at love again. It’s been ages since you’ve dated and maybe this is some omen—”
“You’re getting superstitious on me…” Hwa interrupted, sighing. “Besides, what if he’s some weirdo? You know how alpha’s get on my nerves.”
“Well, alphas are annoying; I know that because I am one!”
“Yeah, and you’re the bane of my existence.” Woo gave him a playful shove at that as they both shared a lighthearted laugh.
“I still think you should give it a shot! If he turns out weird or like those macho man alphas, just give him the boot and go back to your normal life.”
Ah yes, normal life.
The normal life of being constantly reminded of his work efforts that always got nitpicked. The normal life of unwarranted comments ate away at his conscious mind and steadily built that anxiousness that he just dealt with. His dull, grey life where he went through the motions each day and Seonghwa came to realize that he’d grown tired of that life.
He wished for more excitement, more thrill, a change in pace that could make each stress-filled day better. He definitely needed a hobby, but come to think of it, maybe he could also use some sort of fling or even a boyfriend—
“Hey, earth to Seonghwa… you there? You’re spacing out on me.” Woo’s words got Hwa out of his mind, shaking his head back to reality.
“You know what, you’re right— don’t get too excited now, but I do want to live my life to the fullest. All I do is work and work and go out every blue moon when you force me—”
“I wouldn’t call it force, just subtle convincing, and thanks, I’m always right.”
Seonghwa rolled his eyes. “Anyways, I need to add something else to my life and no, not drinking every weekend… but something enjoyable to keep my mind occupied even on my worst days.”
“So if not drinking, then sex is the next best thing.”
“For someone getting no action, you sure do talk about sex a lot.” That got Woo all flustered, stammering over his words in disbelief at the call out.
“Woah… hey, now! For your information, I did get some action last night.” Hwa looked at him with curiosity in his eyes.
“Oh really? Is that why I couldn’t find you? It was you who ran off with someone and left me, an omega, defenseless?” He put on a woe-is-me charade which only made Wooyoung even more flustered as the spotlight was now on him.
“Well… you remember the bartender right? Well, I said I’d pay him another way and I was drunk off my ass and really didn’t mean it or expected anything from it, but after hours, he let me blow him in the bathroom. He also took me home and I got his number, plus he checked on me this morning…”
“Oh, so it seems you’re the one with the love interest.”
“He’s also an alpha too…” Things got even more interesting. “Okay, enough about me! On a real note, maybe take up singing again? You were a choir kid in high school, right? Just go back to your roots.”
“Woo, I haven’t sung in years, not seriously and that was high school; I wasn’t trying to make it big when I already had my business college set up.”
“I mean sure, but that’s exactly why I think you should give it a try again. I’ve heard you sing before and you sound good already.” Hwa just shook his head, rubbing a hand through his hair.
“Okay, but if I do sing, it’s not like I can do anything with that. I can’t just go join a choir; I have so much work to do…”
“I don’t know… maybe just sing to ease your worries, a stress relief.” That was a good point. With the levels of anxiety he’d been having recently, having an outlet to release it all wasn’t something he was lacking and he didn’t want to gain bad habits so maybe that would be a step into a good coping mechanism.
“You gotta stop making sense…”
“That’s what I’m here for; two brain cells and a dream.” Amidst their conversation, the food Hwa had ordered arrived, and the two began to eat like they hadn’t eaten in weeks. As much as they talked, the hangover was still prevalent so the greasy, fried food was exactly what they both needed.
While eating, Seonghwa did consider the possibility of getting back into singing. He’d have to go back to basics because it’d been over a decade since he sang formally, but he figured it would be one fun thing he could add to his day. He always sang to Nova anyway, but it was usually in a silly little voice not meant to be taken seriously by the human ear.
“By the way,” Hwa started after engorging his food. “You and that bartender, are you gonna talk to him?” Woo let out an uneasy laugh.
“Honestly, I don’t know… it’s kind of like your situation, but he’s an alpha and I’m an alpha… it’s not like society could tell unless we said so, but I just fear we’d clash too much. He thought I was an omega until I said otherwise— do I really give off omega vibes?!” Woo had seemed to come to an epiphany.
“I think talking to him and sorting it out should be your first step, then see if you’re compatible. Subgender shouldn’t matter that much in this big year, but if there’s clashing then just let it go.”
“He was really cute… his little dimple when he smiled is adorable and I remembered the way he moaned my name—”
“Spare me the details….”
“Anyways, I’ll think about it. See if he messages me again or I can just go see him at the club, only this time, more sober.” Hwa nodded his head in agreement. “But what about you? Are you gonna message this mysterious man?” Oh, Seonghwa didn’t want the spotlight back on him.
“I’ll think about it. He’s not expecting me to message him like even he said I could forget it all happened… but even then, how could I forget how overtly nice the man was even if I don’t know what he looks like? He literally neutralized the scent in his house because he wasn’t sure of my sub-gender like that’s very considerate.”
“And you said I’m the one with the love interest,” Now Hwa was the one blushing. “Listen, you can message him thank you for all he’s done and leave it at that.” Seonghwa did want to show his appreciation because the level of consideration was above and beyond that just leaving without a thank you seemed quite shallow.
“Maybe so. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. Maybe stomach another work week first so I don’t come off desperate or something.”
“Oh please, you wouldn’t sound desperate, especially if he didn’t mind if you did message him.” Which was true, but Hwa could never be too sure.
“I’ll think about it.”
Their conversation delved into more trivial topics and Nova came by and demanded pets from the two of them. They hung out for some time before Woo announced he was leaving, of course not without poking fun at Hwa about the mystery man one last time before saying his goodbye.
Seonghwa had time to truly think. His scattered mind played out different scenarios about him messaging vs not messaging this Kim Hongjoong. Obviously, if he didn’t message, he would go on with his days like nothing ever happened and even if he saw the man out in public it wasn’t like he could point him out, not even by scent. On the other hand, if he did message him, Hwa really didn’t expect what could come of it either. He figured this would be considered a thrill-seeking opportunity.
He gave it some thought, weighing his options and soon he was already pulling his phone out and inputting the number into his contacts— Kim Hongjoong.
He then opened up the messaging app to the blank chat, staring at it as if words would magically appear on the screen so he didn’t have to type them out himself. It shouldn’t be this difficult, but he was drawing a blank on how to even start off the message.
Me:
Hello
Backspace; too formal.
Me:
Heyyy
Backspace; too informal.
Me:
Hi I’m Seonghwa
The guy you took home last night
not in a weird way but…
Anyways I appreciate the help and
I wanted to say thank you
and sorry for being so drunk
that you had to take
care of me
So yeah… thanks
Hwa hovered over the send button, internally wanting to just delete the whole thing, but instead, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and pressed the button, watching the message appear with the word sent underneath. He waited to see if it would change to read, but that made him nervous because the last thing he wanted was to be left on read when he was only trying to show his appreciation. His message did come off lackluster and technically he could unsend it, but then that would come off as weird too and the man would notice an unsent message.
Stop overthinking.
The more he looked, the more anxious he got, so he switched over to social media instead, and even better, he played with Nova and even turned the TV on all as a distraction so he wasn’t stuck looking at his messages. That was how he spent the rest of his day, lazing around and still recovering after the night he had prior. As the time progressed and it started getting dark, he soon retired to his room with Nova in tow.
Seonghwa washed up, took a lengthy shower, and did skin care because his face felt gross and he still felt a little gross too he prided himself so much on cleanliness, and with being out all last night, he just felt… icky. After a thorough cleaning, he put on fresh pajamas and put the clothes he had on in the wash— another thing worth noting is he would give back that leather jacket and clothes if he ever got in touch with that mystery man again.
He got into bed and reached over for his Switch, deciding to play a few games before bed. Some might say he was ‘too old’ to play games, but games were just another way of him to relax, letting his mind wander to a fictional world with his little character on his decorative island. He played that game for a while until Nova started nudging against him, signaling bedtime even though he technically could stay up, but he was also exhausted anyway.
Hwa scooped Nova up to hold her close and feeling her purr was so healing. He then moved her front paws like she was dancing, humming a song he recently enjoyed before he cleared his throat as a mini warm-up.
“I remember standing by the ocean
Watching all the waves just rollin' on”
He hummed a little more and soon Nova got fed up with the movement and began fighting him before getting out of his hold. Even after her tantrum, she decided to lay right on his chest, completely curling up like she was ready to sleep and he just accepted that as his life; such a clingy girl.
“When all the walls are closing
When the weight's hard to bear
When you feel like you're nowhere
Let it go 'cause I'll be there for you”
That song he heard on the radio recently had been stuck in his head and it brought him more comfort than he expected. The lyrics felt empowering and he would listen to the song on his own on his worse days, when the pressure of everything was just too much and he’d sing this particular song to himself. Obviously, a song wasn’t going to free him of all his worries, but having a feel-good song such as that eased his mind and reminded himself that he was enough.
“Gonna make it far enough”
He took one last look at his phone before bed, still seeing the sent underneath his message and a part of him wanted to block Hongjoong’s number out of sheer nervousness, but he took a deep breath, let it out, and decided not to worry too much about a response because if he didn’t get one, then so be it.
However, once he put his phone down and it went into a certain mode that muted notifications and messages, he didn’t see his message go from sent to read.