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He may have grown up in Albany, but Jacob had made enough weekend pop-ins to New York City during high school to immediately recognize the vibe of Fruit, There It Is. The lights that were a touch too dim to be considered aesthetic, the stools and rickety tables that were an inch too tall, the music playing just quietly enough that you almost feared you were hallucinating the sound. There was only one employee in the front, currently working her way through the short line of people in front of Gregory and Jacob, but the clatter from behind the kitchen door signaled that she thankfully had some help.
“Figure out what you want yet?”
Gregory was looking at Jacob with an excitement in his eyes Jacob had only seen them hold when talking about Janine, gardening, the Orioles, or Janine again. Jacob had gone to apologize after seeing the man sadly wash down his Menthol Madness from Junt’s with a Mountain Dew, which had turned into Gregory vowing to make Jacob regret his role in thwarting the smoothie shop’s West Philly location plans, which had turned into Gregory dragging Jacob to University City after school, which had turned into this.
“Uh, no, not yet.” Jacob looked back up at the screens displaying the menu. The ingredients were written in a font size just a point too small, and having to combat the student rumor about him being illiterate for three months straight made him wary to squint his eyes to read it. His eyes caught onto the smoothie names, as elusive as they were daunting. Teddy Blendergrass. Banana-Nut Shred. One eerily named Alive. Another one even more eerily named The Dimmer. “Maybe I’ll just sit this one out.”
“I did not drive us through after-school traffic, golf course traffic, and university traffic just for you to not get anything.”
“Good afternoon!” With the last of the customers in front of them dispelled, the cashier’s sights had now settled onto Gregory and Jacob. “What can I get for you two today?”
Gregory stepped forward, punch card already in hand. “Good afternoon. I’ll take a 16-ounce Banana-Nut Shred with collagen protein and extra bee pollen.”
“Got it. Mind if I grab your punch card from you?” The card was dropped back into Gregory’s hand after the cashier poked a quick hole through it. “You’ve just earned a free Teddy Blendergrass.”
“Hey, Teddy Blendergrass. That sounds…” No matter how much he wracked his brain, Jacob couldn’t think of a kind synonym for disgusting. “Think I should get that?”
Gregory inspected the punch card with a frown, a frown that only lessened when he looked back up at Jacob. “You’d like the Sunrise Dreamer.” Gregory leaned in, bringing his voice down to a whisper. “It’s off the secret menu.”
“Oh! That sounds great! I love being in on secrets, no one ever trusts me with them.”
“Are you two ordering together or separately?”
“Oh, no, we’ll be-”
“He’ll have the Sunrise Dreamer.”
Before Jacob could protest, the cashier was tapping the order in. “What size would you like?”
“Um, I’ll take the small.”
“We only have kid’s size, medium, and large.”
The cashier pointed at a display of the store’s cup sizes, the puny child-size cup overshadowed by the medium and large. “The medium, I guess?”
“Sounds good. And how would you like us to boost your drink?”
“Uh, it’s fine as it is. Unboosted.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but it’s actually required to boost your drink.”
“You’ve got to boost your drink, Jake,” Gregory muttered.
Jacob never thought he could fail at ordering a smoothie. Boy, was he wrong. “How does one boost their drink?”
“Well, I could either add a caffeine, nut butter, or protein supplement.”
“Protein?”
“And what protein option would you like?”
“Wait, no, I didn’t- what protein- why are there so many steps to order a smoothie here?” he whispered in Gregory’s ear.
“He’ll have the vanilla whey,” Gregory answered.
“Perfect!” The cashier exclaimed before Jacob could ask what that meant. “That’ll be eighteen dollars.”
Gregory slid a twenty across the counter. “Keep the change.”
The two claimed a table by the wall-length windows- Gregory gripped the edge of the table as he pulled himself onto his stool, while Jacob hopped onto his. “I’ll Venmo you my half for the smoothie.”
“It’s all good. Consider it an installment payment on the three hundred dollars Janine owes you.”
“Gregory Eddie, you devious man. I should’ve known you were planning to pay me back for Janine entirely through smoothie runs.”
A swell of pride filled Jacob at the sound of Gregory’s laugh. “Don’t tell her. She’s only just stopped stressing about the paper eater in her class.”
“She had a student who was eating paper?”
“You didn’t know? Actually, that’s probably for the best. The texture of paper on your tongue…” Gregory shuddered. “It already sounds disgusting enough.”
“I don’t know if the texture of paper is the most worrying part of that story.”
“Regardless of whatever incorrect opinions you may hold, I’ve been needing this all week. I swear, the only thing that can get the abominations I drank this morning off of my tongue is that bee pollen.”
“Bee pollen? Why not just call it honey?”
“Because it’s not honey. It’s a mixture of pollen, nectar, and enzymes bees collect from flowers. Honey’s only made from nectar. Bee pollen’s got all the health benefits of honey and more.”
Jacob maybe only followed two-thirds of that explanation. But getting to see Gregory excitedly explain the vaguely incomprehensible differences made up for the last third. “What’s in the Sunrise Dreamer?”
“I’ll tell you after you drink it.”
“Can I at least know why you added vanilla whey to it? And also, what exactly vanilla whey is?”
“Trust me, you’ll love it. I swear, you’ll think it tastes just like ice cream. That’s actually why I had to stop getting smoothies with it.”
Jacob supposed he couldn’t be surprised that the man who considered jelly candy also considered whey protein ice cream. “If you’re wrong about the taste, you have to let me pay you back.”
“So my punishment for being wrong is getting paid nine dollars? Wouldn't that be a reward?”
“Banana-Nut Shred and Sunrise Dreamer for Gregory!”
Gregory hopped off of his stool, returning with their completed smoothies seconds later. “Prepare to have your life changed.”
Jacob inspected the light tropical orange drink placed into his hands. “What makes you so sure that I’m going to like it?”
“Because I know you, man. Now, come on. Take a sip.”
Sticking his straw in, Jacob took a small sip, eyes widening the second the smoothie hit his tongue. “Woah.”
“Good, right?” Gregory said with a barely contained grin.
“It’s amazing. Even better than the one I had yesterday.”
“The Purely Smoothie? That’s a classic, but the real fun starts when you let yourself branch out to the other flavors they’ve got here.”
“Do you have all of their smoothies memorized?”
“No. Yes. Now, come on, tell me what ingredients you can make out.”
Jacob took a few controlled sips. “Banana. Strawberries. Pineapple?” Each answer elicited a proud nod from Gregory. “It’s creamier than I expected.”
“That’s because of the vanilla whey!” The other patrons of the store glanced over, and Gregory contained himself with an extended clearing of his throat. “Doesn’t it taste like ice cream?” he whispered. “Doesn’t it?”
It… didn’t. But who was Jacob to shatter the excited illusion of his friend? “Tastes exactly like it.”