Work Text:
johnn: WHO STOLE MY COUGH DROPS
more like HUNKules: I NEED THEM
johnn: WE ALL NEED THEM
johnn: WE ARE ALL SICK
more like HUNKules: YES BUT I M AT WORK
johnn: Y oU TO O K MY COUG H DRO PS OITUTUT OF THE HOUSE
johnn: THE ONE PLACE I WLL NOT GO IN THIS CONDITION
little lion: what the f u c k Hercules
more like HUNKules: SORRY ILL BUY MORE ON MY WAY HOME
more like HUNKules: OH THERES TWO BOXES IN THE NIGHTSTAND DRESSER
little lion: the lube nightstand?
more like HUNKules: WE AGREED NOT TO CALL IT THAT
johnn: no you yelled at us for calling it that because it's "obscene"
more like HUNKules: IT IS
little lion: Hercules you once told a whole bar about the noise complaints we got from our neighbors that one time and then explained exactly HOW we got those noise complaints and how to do it without tearing a muscle
more like HUNKules: I was drUNK
little lion: you didn't have one ounce of alcohol in your system
johnn: THEYRE NOT IN THE LUBE DRAWER
more like HUNKules: BECAUSE THATS NTOT WHERE I PUT THEM
laf: I am trying to SLEEP
more like HUNKules: did you guys move in separate rooms after I left
laf: no but I just woke up, alex is currently face down in a hopefully empty puke bucket, and john is still rummaging through the lube drawer because he didn't read your messages
laf: john just fell off the bed
johnn: leave me here to die
little lion: if you come back up here I'll cuddle you for .2 seconds before we get too hot again
johnn: coming
laf: fouND THE COUGH DROPS
johnn: I CALL FIRSTIES
more like HUNKules: I'm glad I went to work today
laf: you wont be when your eyes are so watery that you poke yourself with your needle because you cant see through the tears
more like HUNKules: it's already happened three times
laf: who is your emergency contact
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more like HUNKules: which cough drops am I supposed to get
laf: anything that's menthol free and wild cherry flavored
more like HUNKules: are Halls menthol free
laf: no
more like HUNKules: but i like the Halls ones
laf: I'm calling off the wedding
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little lion: what do you think Wendy would look like in real life
johnn: Wendy??
little lion: from Wendy's
johnn: I
laf: he just threw up in the parking lot of the supermarket he's kind of out of it
johnn: while I'm thankful for the context
johnn: did I want it
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little lion: how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals?
johnn: ~hire a samurai~
more like HUNKules: eVeRyOnE started hiring samurai
little lion: correction: rich important people hire samurai
johnn: poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai
laf: it is four in the morning
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little lion: g wash is forcing me to come home
laf: GOOD
laf: WE TOLD YOU NOT TO GO IN
laf: EVEN HERCULES IS HOME
little lion: NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO YELL AT ME IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE SIDEWALK
laf: at least you wouldn't be the first
little lion: but I'd still be vomiting
laf: you have to look at the pros dear
little lion: I
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johnn: why do chashiers always look at us weirdly
little lion: because we're buying enough cough medicine to last a small family their whole lifetimes when there are only four of us
laf: or maybe the fact that herc's hands are in my pockets and I'm holding hands with you and you're also linking arms with alex
more like HUNKules: or maybe the fact that none of our clothes match at all literally
more like HUNKules: since when do you own a lime green frog jacket alex
little lion: since I found it last month on the clearance rack
more like HUNKules: you should've left it there
little lion: :(
more like HUNKules: I'm just kidding you look adorable
laf: ALEX YOU HAVE THE MONEY THE WOMAN HAS BEEN WAITING FOR FOUR MINUTES
little lion: SHIT
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little lion: eliza is throwing a party for st. patricks day
little lion: do any of you want to go
little lion: I can't because Hercules is still freaking out about whatever I coughed up earlier and won't let me leave the house
more like HUNKules: IT WAS YELLOW AND RED THATS NOT NORMAL
more like HUNKules: THATS NOT EVEN HUMAN
johnn: too sick
laf: definitely no
little lion: we should all watch the luck of the irish together
more like HUNKules: isnt that that old disney movie
little lion: it was ahead of it's time
johnn: I'll make popcorn
laf: I'll get the doses of medicine we all forgot to take and the water
more like HUNKules: I'll connect my laptop to the TV
little lion: I'll get all of the blankets
johnn: yessss
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more like HUNKules: when do you guys have to go back to work
laf: we're currently doing all of our work from home so if we keep it up we can come back when we're better
little lion: wH ICH NEEDS TO BE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IF I HAVE TO HAVE ONE MORE SKYPE CONFERENCE WITH JEFFERSON TRYING TO TELL ME THAT I'M FAKING MY SICKNESS SO I CAN SLACK OFF IM GOING TO GO BALLISTIC
laf: when did you last sleep
little lion: what's today's date
laf: WHY DON'T YOU REMEMBER
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laf: alex stop chewing the cough drops you're supposed to let them dissolve in your mouth
little lion: how did you know
laf: I AM LAYING NEXT TO YOU I CAN HEAR IT
little lion: hate the sin love the sinner
laf:stop
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laf: john where are you
johnn: oh I'm sleeping on the couch because as far as I'm concerned I'm cured and you three are NOT getting me sick again
laf: that's so cold
laf: I'm so cold
laf: help me
johnn: ug hg ghg I'll be right there
laf: I love you
johnn: and while I'm #blessed because of it I would love to not be sick again
laf: yeah okay get in here plz
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little lion: HERCULES GET IN HERE
more like HUNKules: WHY
little lion: JOHN AND LAF FELL ASLEEP AND THEYRE CUDDLING AND ITS REALLY DONT HAVE ENOUGH SPACE ON MY PHONE FOR ANYMORE PHOTOS SO YOURE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THEM FOR ME COMEONCOMEONCOMEON
more like HUNKules: HOW MUCH STUFF DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR PHONE
little lion: THATS NOT IMPORTANT
more like HUNKules: IM COMING
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laf: how are we going to have our first dance at our wedding
johnn: conga line
laf: no
johnn: c o n g a l i n e
little lion: we could like hand each other to each other
laf: bUT WHERE DO WE START
laf: WHERE DO WE END
little lion: hercules and john and then me and you
little lion: then you hand me to hercules and hercules hands john to you
little lion: and then I hand hercules to you and john takes me
laf: that might work
little lion: it would work I drew a diagram
johnn: okay but that OR a conga line
laf: THAT
more like HUNKules: alex's plan
johnn: RUDE
johnn: IM ASKING AN OUTSIDE
SOURCE
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johnn: ANGELICA
angie: I am already afraid
johnn: OKAY SO FOR THE FIRST DANCE AT THE WEDDING
johnn: wHICH WOULD BE COOLER
angie: why are you asking me
angie: you have 3 other s/o for this
angie: why am I the one who has to suffer
johnn: a coNGA LINE
angie: I already am going with the other option
johnn: ANGELICA
angie: YOU CANNOT BE GOING WITH THE CONGA LINE CHOICE
johnn: I NEED ALLIES
angie: WHAT YOU NEED IS BRIDESMAIDS
angie: AND YOULL BE SHORT ONE IF YOU TELL ME YOURE DOING THE CONGA LINE AS YOUR FIRST DANCE AT YOUR OWN WEDDING
johnn: THIS IS RUDE
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laf: I THINK IM HEALED
johnn: GOOD COME MAKE OUT WITH ME
laf: were at work
johnn: your point
laf: which broom closet are you in
johnn: second floor at the end of the hall
laf: omw
little lion: kill us
more like HUNKules: pl ease
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laf: are we having four best men
laf: did we think this wedding through at all
little lion: one best man
laf: so gwash
little lion: of course
laf: and Mr. John Church as a groomsman
little lion: are you going to put Mr. John Church on the wedding program
laf: ,,,,,
little lion: so who's the other groomsmen
johnn: we doNT HAVE ANY OTHER MALE FRIENDS
little lion: WHAT DO SUGGEST WE DO THEN
iohnn: TALK ABOUT THE BRIDESMAlDS
little lion: martha, angelica, eliza, and peggy
johnn: DID WE ASK PEGGY
little lion: F CUCK
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little lion: PEGGY
cinnamon roll: WHAT
little lion: so WE'RE ALL GETTING MARRIED
cinnamon roll: I HEARD
little lion: AND WE WANT YOU TO BE A BRiDEMAID
little lion: AND WE LITERALLY FORGOT TO ASK
cinnamon roll: oh I know Hercules asked me about when I was going over to talk about dresses
little lion: that man I swear to god
cinnamon roll: WHAT COLOR ARE WE WEARiNG
little lion: WE HAVENT DECEDED YET
cinnamon roll: OKAY UPDATE ME WHEN YOU DO
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little lion: peggy is so pure I love peggy
laf: that's true
more like HUNKules: but what did she say
little lion: oh she already knew because soMEBODY in this chat asked about her bridesmaid dress
more like HUNKules: oops?
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more like HUNKules: easter is soon
more like HUNKules: which means I'm going home for it
more like HUNKules: and yoURE ALL INVITED TO MY FAMILY'S HOUSE
little lion: WE'RE MEETING YOUR PARENTS FOR THE FIRST TlME
more like HUNKules: Oh mY GOD i FORGOT ABOUT THAT PART
laf: FINALLY
johnn: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
more like HUNKules: god save us